I don't know anything about that drive by shooting that almost killed you, other than the fact that I am now very sad.
If I pushed you down twenty flights of stairs, you know it would have been a complete accident and not on purpose, right? Despite the fact that I want your job and all that suspicious jazz, obviously.
No, you're stupider than you look, and that is an achievement in it self.
Why don't you keep eating your doughnuts while I do your job for you again?