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Author Topic: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss  (Read 16252 times)

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Offline Immortal Cherubin

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #100 on: December 05, 2009, 04:19:01 PM »
You:Boss what would you if i told you that your wife had an affair and i knew who he was and he is working here?

Boss: I would give you a raise and fire the one who is my wife's lover,so who is it?

You:your looking at him surprise I'll take that raise now.

Offline Korokage

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #101 on: December 05, 2009, 08:03:58 PM »
Oooooooh, that was YOUR retarded son that I just ran over? ...Yeah don't care, when do I get my raise?

Offline Azrael

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #102 on: December 05, 2009, 08:06:31 PM »
I am arresting you under the terrorism laws for use of biological weapons in the form of body odour with the intent to kill or otherwise maim the nostrils of innocent citizens.

Offline Korokage

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #103 on: December 05, 2009, 08:44:03 PM »
CAn it wait till I'm done masturbating to these naked photos of your teenage daughter?

Offline MasterMischief

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #104 on: December 06, 2009, 09:32:24 AM »
Would you like to buy some weed?  I will give you a discount since you are my boss and all.

Offline Beguile's Mistress

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #105 on: December 06, 2009, 09:58:15 AM »
"I'll be with you in a minute.  I'm chatting with my girlfriend."

Offline Fragile Dreams

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #106 on: December 07, 2009, 09:25:52 AM »
Sir, your wife called. She said that she charged your credit cards way to much because she knows about your affair with her sister.

Offline Korokage

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #107 on: December 07, 2009, 08:15:55 PM »
No I did not shoot your best friend and hide the gun in your desk! Wait...shit. Uh can I have a vacation?

Offline Korokage

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #108 on: December 09, 2009, 11:04:40 PM »
Sir, your wife called. She's leaving you for me and taking your daughter with her.

Offline BigNRich

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #109 on: December 17, 2009, 10:36:19 PM »
That was YOU that I cut off, flipped the bird to, and made a finger-gun gesture at on the way to work today??

Offline Talia

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #110 on: December 18, 2009, 10:18:17 AM »
"I'm sorry. You must have me confused with someone who cares."

Offline Immortal Cherubin

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #111 on: December 18, 2009, 12:46:10 PM »
"Quiet can't you see I'm watching Scooby Doo online i want to see if Shaggy and Scooby find a real ghost this time."

Offline LiandraJay

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #112 on: December 18, 2009, 12:51:18 PM »
For a female boss -

I meant to tell you earlier, that sexual harrassment charge? Totally bogus...

Offline Keaira

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #113 on: December 18, 2009, 05:00:25 PM »
Instead of you telling me how to do my job, why don't I tell you how to do yours. Besides I'm already doing a better job at being you than you are!

Offline Spell

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #114 on: December 18, 2009, 05:09:59 PM »
So, instead of pretending your the boss and all, why don't you actually something from which the company would actually benefit?

Offline BigNRich

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #115 on: December 18, 2009, 07:07:21 PM »
I'm sorry, I don't think I gave YOU permission to speak.

(Preferably while jabbing your finger in their chest  ;D )

Offline Mithlomwen

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #116 on: December 19, 2009, 08:19:33 AM »
Contrary to what you seem to think, you do NOT know it all! 

Offline Keaira

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #117 on: December 19, 2009, 10:19:54 AM »
Have fun on your vacation, feel free to get lost in the Arizona deserts. We'll send a search party sometime next year.

Offline BigNRich

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #118 on: December 19, 2009, 10:54:22 AM »
Do this report? How about I do your wife first?  ;D

Offline MasterMischief

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #119 on: December 19, 2009, 02:48:31 PM »
I am going to have to charge you extra for putting up with your gross negligence and poor leadership.

Offline MasterMischief

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #120 on: December 19, 2009, 02:49:03 PM »
I have discussed it with my other co-workers and we agreed, you're fired.

Offline MasterMischief

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #121 on: December 19, 2009, 02:51:05 PM »
Why don't you go back to your office and let those of us who actually know what we are doing, get some work done around here.

Offline MasterMischief

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #122 on: December 19, 2009, 02:51:22 PM »
Does your breath always smell like that?

Offline MasterMischief

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #123 on: December 19, 2009, 02:52:34 PM »
[interrupting a presentation your boss is giving]

Hold on a minute.  Are you literate?  Because you obviously did not read the report.

Offline MasterMischief

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #124 on: December 19, 2009, 02:52:51 PM »
What is your degree in again?