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Author Topic: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss  (Read 16257 times)

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Offline stormkittenTopic starter

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1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« on: June 08, 2009, 06:02:46 PM »
1001 Things not to say to your Boss



Is the drug test multiple choice? Or Essay?

Offline Rhapsody

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2009, 06:03:59 PM »
... What's that smell?

Offline stormkittenTopic starter

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #2 on: June 08, 2009, 06:05:09 PM »
Go away, cant you see I am sleeping?

Offline Andy

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #3 on: June 08, 2009, 06:18:07 PM »
Give me the raise!

Offline stormkittenTopic starter

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #4 on: June 08, 2009, 06:28:17 PM »
Me get back to work? You go work... When was the last time you actaully worked?

Online Doomsday

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #5 on: June 09, 2009, 12:44:48 AM »
You look a lot like your daughter.

Offline stormkittenTopic starter

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #6 on: June 09, 2009, 12:57:43 AM »
How far back does the background check go?

Offline SugarShane

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #7 on: June 09, 2009, 04:24:32 AM »
What do you mean I'm losing my shape? Everytime I fuck your wife she gives me a biscuit.

Offline The Overlord

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #8 on: June 09, 2009, 06:54:27 AM »

One day soon all this will be mine...

Offline ShamshielDF

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #9 on: June 09, 2009, 11:26:45 PM »
"You paid several thousand dollars for your MCSE and they didn't cover basic TCP/IP?"

Said by me about 5 minutes before I was fired *sigh*

No matter how stupid your boss is, don't let him know.

Even if he is twice your age, just back from having left the company for several months of extensive Microsoft training and they didn't cover the basics you sorted out for yourself at home regarding networking.  I was 18...what can I say?

Offline ShamshielDF

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #10 on: June 09, 2009, 11:32:10 PM »
Close second to my previous:

"I'm sorry...I can't sell those parts at that price.  They aren't the same."

Said (approximately that way) several years later at another job.  The manager I liked had just left and a new one came in.  Part of his sweeping business changes was to get rid of our reliable vendors and reliable parts and expected us to sell cheap crap parts at the same price as the old.  Two of us were let go for having ethics.

Then sued for using proprietary information, misleading clients, theft, contract violation, anti-competitive practices, etc.

Last seen the new boss had sold his house, closed all his businesses in the area, his lawyer (who was his BB in high school) wouldn't take his calls because he refused to pay and the company I had worked for was given to one of the vendors for failure to pay over $30,000 in invoices...I won't get into what happened to the company the other tech, myself and a mutual friend started.

Offline Tachi

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #11 on: June 15, 2009, 03:16:20 PM »
"Why don't you get off your lazy ass and do it yourself?"

Offline stormkittenTopic starter

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #12 on: June 17, 2009, 06:27:33 PM »
I am pregnant.... your the father

Offline Greg MD

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #13 on: June 17, 2009, 06:31:24 PM »
Your vein popping out of the side of your neck like that reminds me a lot of your daughter---the same thing happens to her when she screams.

Offline King

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #14 on: June 17, 2009, 06:33:02 PM »
Hey, I saw that article about you with the prostitutes and the sex dungeon! Nice!

Offline Sel Nar

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #15 on: June 17, 2009, 07:03:07 PM »
"Yes, I told those customers to get the hell out. None of them had ID and the all wanted Alcohol."

(Said 12 hours before I was fired for 'not respecting the customer' Aka. Ignoring Federal Law for the sake of a quick buck)

Online Ashleebabe

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #16 on: June 18, 2009, 11:51:02 AM »
I work at McDonald's so this is what I say.

"This isn't Burger King, you can't have it your way."

Offline Shiri

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #17 on: June 18, 2009, 12:26:44 PM »
Are you covering my gas bill for this errand?

Offline Lady Annabelle

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #18 on: June 18, 2009, 12:49:27 PM »
Boss:  Well, that ends the orientation.  I hope you enjoy your first day.

You: Thank you very much.  Do you mind if take the rest of the afternoon off because I am really tired?  Also, I am going to need Friday off along with next Thursday and the entire month of August.  We get paid vacation right...

Offline Soran

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #19 on: June 19, 2009, 03:09:51 PM »
You really need a bra that gives you more support.....

Offline Avis habilis

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #20 on: June 19, 2009, 03:22:26 PM »
Are you drunk? I mean right now, are you actually drunk?

Offline Soran

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #21 on: June 19, 2009, 07:37:40 PM »
Have you any idea what I can do with this stapler.....

Offline stormkittenTopic starter

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #22 on: June 20, 2009, 12:33:53 AM »
If you dont let me have next week off with paid vacation, I am filing a sexual harrassement compliant against you....

Offline Tachi

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #23 on: June 20, 2009, 12:36:19 AM »
...What exactly do you do again?

Offline Sateru

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #24 on: June 20, 2009, 01:45:25 PM »
Excuse me, but I'm going to take a nap for a few minutes...   Wake me up when the interview is over...