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Author Topic: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss  (Read 16234 times)

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Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #200 on: September 07, 2010, 09:56:59 PM »
"You know, I am really sorry that your teenage daughter is dealing with those eating issues and that it is stressing you out, but stop telling me all about it!  I don't care and I just want to get my damned work done!"

Offline TheLegionary

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #201 on: September 08, 2010, 12:46:36 PM »
Are you sure you are straight?

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #202 on: September 09, 2010, 01:12:22 PM »
I was thinking that if you could just park your car in the center of your spot, the rest of us might have enough spots to park, without having to park in the customer lot

Offline Edhel Tari

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #203 on: September 13, 2010, 10:20:19 PM »
Was that you I saw last night with the girl in accounting going into the motel on 56 highway?

Offline Beguile's Mistress

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #204 on: September 13, 2010, 10:27:44 PM »
Him: "I'm not coming in tomorrow because I don't want to."
Me:  "Oh, good.  You can stay home the day after tomorrow, too."
Him:  "Um..."
Me:  "Yes?"
Him:  "Can I rephrase that?"
Me:  "Be my guest."

Offline Edhel Tari

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #205 on: September 13, 2010, 10:30:59 PM »
Let me guess, you're jumping on me cause your wife wouldn't give you any last night.

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #206 on: September 13, 2010, 10:52:21 PM »
You know, I am straight, but that doesn't mean that I don't find myself staring at you across the office, and wondering what if.

Offline Xandi

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #207 on: September 14, 2010, 08:37:25 AM »
You want me to do what? You must be kidding? I can't believe you would ask me to do such a thing. I don't answer phone's it says so on my resume. I can't help it if you were to busy staring at my boobs to see that.

*storms off in a huff for a coffee break*

Offline Insanityenviesme

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #208 on: September 14, 2010, 09:40:26 AM »
you have moustache hair in your zipper

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #209 on: September 17, 2010, 12:54:05 AM »
(at 8 AM on a Tuesday)  "How drunk am I?"

Offline Insanityenviesme

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #210 on: September 17, 2010, 12:56:53 AM »
-after bringging male strippers to his bachelor party-
Oh God, you're straight?!

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #211 on: September 17, 2010, 01:00:24 AM »
Your wife called for you and is on line three.  I told her about your ten o'clock being canceled.  She was so glad, because she says that she wants to talk to you about her plans for redecorating the house.

Offline Sashira

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #212 on: September 17, 2010, 01:16:07 AM »
Go the Bartleby route. But kick it up a notch.

Anything he may say to you, reply with, "I prefer not to." Even if it was not a request, i.e., "How are you?"

Offline Sashira

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #213 on: September 17, 2010, 01:18:11 AM »
Can I invite my husband's girlfriend to the company picnic too?

or

(when introduced to their child while trying to work at your desk)
Why on Earth are you showing me a small human?

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #214 on: September 17, 2010, 01:20:24 AM »
(During a staff meeting)  You know, I have really been struggling to keep my herpies under control.  How do you handle your's boss?

Offline Spice

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #215 on: September 17, 2010, 01:23:14 AM »
How long do I have to work here, before I can file a claim for worker's compensation?

Offline Insanityenviesme

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #216 on: September 17, 2010, 01:31:55 AM »
-while wife and boss are enjoying a romantic dinner-
Boss, Krista on line 1

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #217 on: September 17, 2010, 01:32:10 AM »
Did anyone ever tell you that you look a lot like Louis Anderson?

Offline TheLegionary

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #218 on: September 17, 2010, 11:10:58 PM »
We cannot make it. We do not have structure for that.

Offline Spice

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #219 on: September 18, 2010, 12:41:03 AM »
I've had birdseed that tastes better.

Offline AngelsDemonsCode

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #220 on: September 18, 2010, 05:38:16 AM »
[In a meeting with important business men]

Here's your coffee...SIR, XYZ!

[When introduced to their child and they say 'my wife's child']

Which wife?

Offline villagelunatic

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #221 on: September 18, 2010, 01:21:01 PM »
"That cougar was totally begging to climb down my pants." Pause. "Can I take lunch?"

Offline MasterMischief

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #222 on: September 19, 2010, 05:38:11 PM »
How about you get naked and we talk about my raise.

Offline Sashira

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #223 on: September 19, 2010, 09:11:01 PM »
You know, I really expected that being a secretary would involve more spanking. I have a movie you might want to watch for reference.

Offline Spice

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #224 on: September 19, 2010, 09:14:45 PM »
Please don't panic, there must be some way to fix this.