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Author Topic: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss  (Read 16248 times)

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Offline villagelunatic

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #225 on: September 19, 2010, 11:34:42 PM »
Enron just called with some excellent stock handling tips.  I've already implemented them.

Offline Zaakmaal

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #226 on: September 20, 2010, 12:05:41 AM »
Thank you, I did get a haircut. Thanks for noticing. :-)

Your hair is....
Well, your earnings are...
The blouse is...

Isn't the weather just beautiful today?

Offline CascataNerina

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #227 on: September 20, 2010, 06:07:22 AM »
What? No!  YOU"RE the one that was supposed to do it!

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #228 on: September 25, 2010, 02:07:05 AM »
F*&$ you, you untalented, ungrateful, stuck up, son of a bitch.

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #229 on: September 25, 2010, 02:08:24 AM »
Some day I am going to come in here with a shotgun and blow your head off.

(sorry... not a fun day at work today)

Offline MasterMischief

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #230 on: September 25, 2010, 05:52:00 PM »
Some day I am going to come in here with a shotgun and blow your head off.

(sorry... not a fun day at work today)

Sorry to hear that, DBJ.  Here's to the look on your boss' face if you pointed two barrels at his ungrateful, untalented ass.

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #231 on: September 25, 2010, 06:10:58 PM »
What to saw when it looks like my boss is about to punctuate one of his points with an index finger to my biceps... (yup... he has actually done this once or twice, before we almost came to blows over it).

"You do that, you'd best make peace with your dear and fluffy lord." (Captain Malcolm Renyolds)


Offline MasterMischief

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #232 on: September 25, 2010, 06:13:51 PM »
Ask him why he keeps hitting on you.   ;D

"Sorry, dude, you're just not my type.  I go for guys with intelligence."

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #233 on: September 25, 2010, 06:20:49 PM »
Ask him why he keeps hitting on you.   ;D

"Sorry, dude, you're just not my type.  I go for guys with intelligence."

Hell, his wife is the veterinarian, and she pinches sometimes, and I do not mean my ass.  No shit.  There isn't a lot of jobs out there and I have been with them for 8 years now and we get along most of the time, but.....  :P

I should ask him "Should I tell your wife that you have been hitting on me?"

Offline Zaakmaal

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #234 on: October 04, 2010, 03:45:52 AM »
Oh I'm sorry, I guess you couldn't see me running around trying to accomplish all this meaningless shit while you went off for one of your famous 15min bathroom breaks. Sorry to break it to you, but no matter how much cum you flush down, it wont get pregnant and make a little porcelain baby.

(Bad day at work)

Offline finewine

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #235 on: October 04, 2010, 03:51:34 AM »
I'm coming in late because I'm sleeping in.

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #236 on: October 05, 2010, 11:15:20 PM »
I dingaling, my dingaling, I want you to play with my dingaling...

Offline yuna0417

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #237 on: October 06, 2010, 12:00:53 AM »
Me: I can't come in to work today due to anal glaucoma.
Boss: What's that?
Me: I don't see my ass coming to work today.

Offline TheLegionary

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #238 on: October 06, 2010, 06:05:47 AM »
Could you not speak about things you do not know a shit?

Offline doom29169

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #239 on: October 06, 2010, 08:35:51 AM »
Can't we just take this up when mom comes over for lunch?

(One of my bosses is my Brother - this would be for the other to whom I am not related)

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #240 on: October 07, 2010, 09:47:31 PM »
You are much more attractive when your mouth is shut.

Offline doom29169

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #241 on: October 08, 2010, 06:41:06 AM »
Your much more attractive when your on your knees to your own bosses.

Offline MrDiamondBackJack

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #242 on: October 08, 2010, 08:10:29 AM »
Like Oh My God!  Did you see what Snookie did last night on Jersey Shore?  (My boss is an older Asian gentleman with no sense of humor or appreciation for crappy American television.)

Offline FlaminGlory

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #243 on: October 15, 2010, 02:05:03 AM »
Hay is for horses, grass is for cows and what are for pigs like you?

Offline Cyra

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #244 on: October 20, 2010, 10:15:49 AM »
When I had pneumonia in 2007, I was a line cook for a local Applebee's restaurant.  Well, anyone who's had pneumonia knows that you need bed rest-not cooking in a stressful environment.  Anyhow, my manager was a real ass and said that if I didn't come in to work, he would fire me.  I politely told him to f*$@ off and go to hell.  I should have gone to work and called OSHA...either way, I still lost my job.
Silver lining to that gray cloud-I enrolled in college after taking a year off from life and will graduate in march :D

Offline darkninja0200

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #245 on: October 27, 2010, 01:17:13 PM »
Hey your toupee looks good today sir.

Offline Scribe08

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #246 on: October 29, 2010, 02:55:00 AM »
FYI.. Your daughter talks in her sleep.

Offline Endorphin

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #247 on: November 01, 2010, 06:45:00 AM »
Do you think it will matter if I have a criminal record?

Offline TheLegionary

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #248 on: November 11, 2010, 12:20:59 PM »
Hasta la vista, babe!

Offline Xandi

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #249 on: November 11, 2010, 01:17:29 PM »
I think you are wearing your wifes jacket