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Author Topic: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss  (Read 16278 times)

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Offline Rider of Wind

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #50 on: September 04, 2009, 10:30:09 PM »
Do you have a tat on your butt?!? Can I see?!?

Offline Xandi

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #51 on: September 05, 2009, 05:20:30 AM »
Did I do that or did you?

Offline PaleEnchantress

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #52 on: September 05, 2009, 10:51:19 PM »
I thought you just hired me because I looked good.

Offline Xandi

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #53 on: September 06, 2009, 12:29:55 AM »
The main server crashed and they traced the cause to the "extra stuff" on the computer in your office.

Offline Jagerin

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #54 on: September 06, 2009, 04:12:03 AM »
How far up your bum does that stick go? Cause I think it's frozen up there. We should call a doctor pronto or get you to the ER. Don't worry about work while you're in surgery for your stick removal, I do your job better than you anyways.

Offline Xandi

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #55 on: September 06, 2009, 09:29:04 AM »
You have got to be kidding me, you expect me to do that.

Offline Lirliel

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #56 on: September 06, 2009, 09:30:37 AM »
What.. you want me to actually work for the money you pay me, up my paycheck and maybe I'll work.

Offline Sel Nar

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #57 on: September 06, 2009, 01:22:55 PM »
Wait... that's your Wife? I thought it was just an ugly bulldog.

Offline Xandi

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #58 on: September 06, 2009, 03:34:59 PM »
You idiot how could you think that would work.

Offline Lady Haven

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #59 on: September 11, 2009, 07:50:21 PM »
Sir what am I suppose to do with this second set of accounting books I found?

Offline TheLegionary

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #60 on: September 11, 2009, 07:53:09 PM »
Sir, I have just handed in that second set of accounting books to that gorgeous blonde official of the Securities and Exchange Commission. Did I do well?

Online Azrael

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #61 on: November 07, 2009, 10:05:30 PM »
Wearing your wife's panties makes me really hard.

Offline MasterMischief

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #62 on: November 07, 2009, 11:47:56 PM »
After finding my supervisor's performance review that he wrote for himself, a co-worker and I made some 'corrections'.  One of which 'corrected' the sentence, "Installed new tape degaussing machine" to "Supervised the installation of new tape degaussing machine from a safe distance."

I was later confronted by my supervisor who asked me point blank if that is really the way I felt about him.  I looked him straight in the eyes and said, "Yes."


My current boss is quite attractive.  I would love to ask her to sexually harass me.


"When is the plastictimy?"
"What's a plastictimy?"
"That is where they surgically place a window in your abdomen so when you have your head up your ass, you can see where you are going."

Offline Isengrad

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #63 on: November 07, 2009, 11:49:03 PM »
You know your daughter really takes after her mother in bed.

Offline MasterMischief

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #64 on: November 07, 2009, 11:53:11 PM »
"If I were as incompetent as you are, you would have fired me already."

Offline MasterMischief

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #65 on: November 07, 2009, 11:53:48 PM »
"I am sorry.  Are you speaking or farting.  I can not tell the difference."

Offline MasterMischief

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #66 on: November 07, 2009, 11:55:30 PM »
"Now is not really a good time.  Could you come back when you know what it is I actually do?"

Offline MasterMischief

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #67 on: November 07, 2009, 11:56:45 PM »
"I love my job.  It is the customers I can not stand."

Offline MasterMischief

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #68 on: November 07, 2009, 11:57:51 PM »
"Diploma?  You are going to laugh at this one.  You know my application?  I lied."

Offline MasterMischief

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #69 on: November 07, 2009, 11:58:30 PM »
"Have you always been such a tool?"

Offline MasterMischief

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #70 on: November 07, 2009, 11:59:31 PM »
Stolen from Bull Durham

"Do you have any naked pictures of your wife?  Wanna see some?"

Offline MasterMischief

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #71 on: November 08, 2009, 12:00:50 AM »
"This place is great.  My last job had this strict policy against drinking while on the job."

Offline MasterMischief

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #72 on: November 08, 2009, 12:13:03 AM »
"Hey, do you know a way to get around the company firewall?"

Online Nicholas

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Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #73 on: November 08, 2009, 02:01:23 AM »
"The new coworker's got such a damn fine ass."

Offline Shadowstrike2

Re: 1001 Things not to say to your Boss
« Reply #74 on: November 08, 2009, 02:52:59 AM »
Well if you'd like me to do an office review i can always strip down. I promise i'm just as good as i was at the interview.