For all those here who have responded, for the amazing woman Rhedyn who started this post and opened her soul in front of all of us, and for those who have read but could not yet, for what ever reason, respond.... Thank you. While those are simple words, they speak volumes. You are not alone. Nor am I.
Years ago, I attempted to shoot myself. I still bear the powder burn scar on my temple as proof. Though now it is hidden with hair. I shook so badly with my sobbing at the time that I missed. When I look at my boys today and every day, I thank the Lord and Lady for the sobbing and shaking. That dark place we all live in from time to time, where our thoughts run in circles we can't seem to break and our logic is flawed tells us that we are unwanted, ugly, not needed, not cared for and a slew of other things.
Yet, here we are, talking about that dark place. Her we are helping each other out of that pit from time to time when each of us needs it most. THAT alone says we are worthwhile people. We care about others enough to help. We care enough to say: "Hey, you know what, I feel like that too" or "Hey, I have scars all over my legs from cutting and people just don't understand." I think anyone here who has read, posted or been touched by the words they have read knows within them how much it means to find people who understand in their own way. So for anyone.... if you need to talk, my information is on my profile. I'm around most days and some nights.
"you hear the bad stuff long enough you start to believe it" This is true even if it comes only from within your own head. Today is a midline day for me. I'm not in a funk, but the world isn't bright and pink and fluffy either. Most people will know when it's a bad day for me if they talk to me. I wear my heart on my sleeve.
Thank you everyone for your posts, the shedding of light in a dark place, the offer of support and love. It is given back threefold here, from me. Anytime you need it.... just ask.