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Author Topic: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View  (Read 102227 times)

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Offline StingWolf

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #225 on: July 03, 2011, 11:58:19 PM »
IT was almost a good day for me and then my brother go and mess it up by touchin the **** that belongs to me cause I bought it and he has no right to touch it what a little ******** and then he try and hide it on me, what a ********. This after I let him play some of the xbox games that I worked for to buy with MY money.  THat little ********** had now idea what's comin.  He's conna see the frighttrain then  feel what it like to be betrayed and then one of the people I think was my friend go and take that little ************hammer's side.  That is BULL!!  I think I might need a hug T_T

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #226 on: July 04, 2011, 03:37:11 AM »
*hugs StingWolf*

Offline StingWolf

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #227 on: July 04, 2011, 12:40:17 PM »
*hugs StingWolf*

Thank you, I really needed that last night.  My brother tried to hide my liquor on me and I nearly snapped.

Offline Modern Fairy Tale

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #228 on: July 04, 2011, 09:58:54 PM »
Hey all.  I thought I would write up a few paragraphs and see if they mean anything to anyone or help anyone in paticular.  I have had problems with depression as well, all of my life.

My entire life I have had to deal with depression.  I remember in a Christian middle school entertaining thoughts of using a strap on my bookbag which could loop into a noose easily to choke out my life because my grades were bad and my home life was troubled.  I always bring a negative perspective with me.  I drag down conversations... I can tell I am like a super heavy fellow which dips the boat everyone else is on just by being on it.  Most times I have to 'edit' my thoughts from what I portray to others because otherwise they would all avoid me as if I were a plauge victum or something.  Decades pass and Ive discovered a lot of things which I think I could share here which might help someone.

1)Being depressive is like being overweight.  It is a tendency, but it can be countered with enough motivation and action.  By keeping my thoughts moving they dont seem to sink as much wherever I am standing mentally.  By 'mentally exercising' I can keep in better shape and can keep from being trapped in the situation... at least in my own mind.  Use energy to fight your own hoplessness... at least that works for me.  I have found that education and creative expression at as the kind of exercises needed to keep your emotions in shape.

2)Own who you are and what you do.  I think we are in a messed up world or a messed up life early in our lives... that and a lack of saratonin probably accounts for most accounts of depression.  I believe people who are depressive are more sensitive than most.  We are artists and poets or at least have a potential toward such medias.  Life effects more deeply than that shiney happy person who walks beside you with a happy outlook on life all the time.  We have to understand and claim responcibility for this.  This means that we have to be more careful than others.  For me, this means I have to watch what kind of stories I post in or read here.  Some BDSM stories are sexy or intense, but the total picture slowly dawns on me and so stories with a poor female in endless torture and inprisonment just feel like a load of bricks have been loaded on my soul.  Though I still play with such stories, they always have a careful pace, they have an ending in sight and always have small breaks for the 'tormented' character.  Each character should get something out of the scenario, it shouldnt just be one guy gets to do whatever he wants to some girl... there should be motivations and goals for her too.

3)Discover the deeper meaning.  I think life has a spiritual side, and to exclude that from everything you see and do in this life leaves one with an emptiness.  Modern life has tried to completely write God out of everything... you cant turn on a television without seeing how life 'evolved' out of nothing.  Well, they leave a lot out of these 'scientific' discussions and in the end I think it is making us focus on the wrong things in this life.  I wont go into details... I could go on and on... I hate evolution... but suffice to say if you look up 'Intellegent Design' on your web browser you might see more than about how we are slime which organized itself spontaneously with volumes of DNA information out of nothing... ultimately for no reason at all.  Im not saying you have to say my God is your center, but there is more to life than what we see.  Maybe for you the idea is that  shamanistic spirits pass into this realm to inhabit and guide us before passing on to some higher realm.  Perhaps the teachings of the Tibetan monks is more to your tastes.  Whats important is that life isnt just this thin crust of what we see... by our own scientists estimation more than ninety percent of the univers is dark matter and dark force.  That means we cant see it but we can measure its effect on what little of the universe we do know is out there and so imagine all of our scientific theories are based on a single lightsource in a world of darkness interpreted by semi-blind men with an agenda.  Is that very trustworthy?  My own beliefs is that God might have revieled him to every culture but our limited understanding means that we each have only knowledge of a single aspect of Him.

Being depressive isnt a curse or a handicap, though it may feel like that sometime.  We are all about energy and emotion, some of us shed this light easily and some of us need to absorb it.  We give and take and I think these roles reverse often.  How many times have you helped someone who was in the dumps or needed a friend?  How many times have you lated needed someone to do that for you?  Find your center.  Keep yourself emotionally and mentally in good shape.  Take responcibility for how you feel and how the world effects you and protect yourself as necessary.  Finally see that what you see around you isnt all that there is and draw strength from this.  I think all of this is more useful to your own mental outlook on life than all the antidepressents in the world.

These are just some thoughts and I welcome comments on each of them.  I hope they are useful and that I havent stepped on toes by posting this way... this is my first posting on a blog on Elliquiy, but it seemed to central to my core I felt I needed to respond.  Thanks for your indulgence and as always I wish all of my readers peace.

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #229 on: July 04, 2011, 10:21:50 PM »
Hey all.  I thought I would write up a few paragraphs and see if they mean anything to anyone or help anyone in particular.  I have had problems with depression as well, all of my life.

[Take responcibility for how you feel and how the world effects you and protect yourself as necessary.  Finally see that what you see around you isnt all that there is and draw strength from this. I think all of this is more useful to your own mental outlook on life than all the antidepressents in the world.]

These are just some thoughts and I welcome comments on each of them.  I hope they are useful and that I havent stepped on toes by posting this way... this is my first posting on a blog on Elliquiy, but it seemed to central to my core I felt I needed to respond.  Thanks for your indulgence and as always I wish all of my readers peace.

Welcome Modern Fairy Tale,
I agree with some of your post, though I will have to read it again when it is quieter (too many Fireworks tonight).
You haven't stepped on my toes, no worries there. If you ever need a hug or someone to talk to we all are available for each other, and only a PM away.

Leaves hugs for you and anyone else who may need them.

Sybl

Offline Izzy1337

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #230 on: July 05, 2011, 04:19:16 PM »
I agree with Sybl, Modern FT, as well as with most, if not all, of your post. I think the "emotional exercises" I do generally just involve helping others. It's strange that it works for me, but I feel that when I give of myself willingly and without being coerced, I feel more like a person afterward than I did before. It's as if when I give what I don't need, then I get the things I do need in return. I mentioned in a previous post here that I don't remember a time when I was happy. My mother says when asked that I've been depressed since I was six. It helps me to think that there is a larger purpose, not only to life in general, but to my life specifically. Often I feel that my larger purpose is to use my experiences and knowledge to help and guide others. Now, I am not claiming that I am any sort of guru or anything similar, but I do know that I am smart (not bragging, that's factual, I promise ;)), and that I've been through enough experiences in my relatively short life that there are things I can offer to others. In any case, like Sybl said, all of us are here whenever needed, and I can't attest to having seen any judging in this blog (or the site for that matter), so I would advise that you worry less about editing yourself.

Just advice though. Take care, everyone!

--Izzy

Offline AndyZ

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #231 on: July 08, 2011, 04:16:53 PM »
Why is it that when my sisters want to wear perfume, scream, and similar things, it trumps my right to be able to breathe, sleep and similar things?  It's been that way my entire life and things clearly never change.

Why am I not dead yet?

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #232 on: July 08, 2011, 04:21:58 PM »
Why is it that when my sisters want to wear perfume, scream, and similar things, it trumps my right to be able to breathe, sleep and similar things?  It's been that way my entire life and things clearly never change.

Why am I not dead yet?

*Hugs* Am sorry AndyZ.. reason is too many would miss you, me being one.

Offline Meghan

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #233 on: July 10, 2011, 08:37:54 PM »
~leaves bunches of warm comforting hugggggggggles for all those in need~

Offline Athos

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #234 on: July 16, 2011, 12:58:13 PM »
-stops by quickly to give hugs to all-

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #235 on: July 16, 2011, 09:58:59 PM »
accepts the left hugs..

Just another Sybl vent..sorry,

feeling lower than dirt tonight. Just another kick in the shins by those who have nothing better to do than play mind games, like your feelings matter not. I am between pissed off and hurt. If you people can't be honest with me, or anyone else, how the heck do they look into the mirror everyday? Most people are ok, some suck worse than a broken straw.

Offline Saerrael

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #236 on: July 16, 2011, 10:00:40 PM »
I think this should go here, too;


Cyndi Lauper - True Colors

You with the sad eyes
don't be discouraged
oh I realize
it's hard to take courage
in a world full of people
you can lose sight of it all
and the darkness inside you
can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why I love you
so don't be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are beautiful
like a rainbow

Show me a smile then
don't be unhappy, can't remember
when I last saw you laughing
if this world makes you crazy
and you've taken all you can bear
you call me up
because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why I love you
so don't be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are beautiful
like a rainbow



Cyndi Lauper - True Colors

Offline Night Stalker

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #237 on: July 16, 2011, 10:04:23 PM »
accepts the left hugs..

Just another Sybl vent..sorry,

feeling lower than dirt tonight. Just another kick in the shins by those who have nothing better to do than play mind games, like your feelings matter not. I am between pissed off and hurt. If you people can't be honest with me, or anyone else, how the heck do they look into the mirror everyday? Most people are ok, some suck worse than a broken straw.

*offers hugs* Unfortunately some people can't function without doing it, that is their only sadistic pleasure in life to make everyone else miserable.

Offline Izzy1337

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #238 on: July 16, 2011, 10:16:17 PM »
*hugs Sybl*

I'm so sorry, honey, I'm just a PM away if you wanna talk about it.

Love you, dear one.

Offline Oreo

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #239 on: July 16, 2011, 10:38:41 PM »
*offers hugs* I'm sorry you're feeling the pain, Sybl. I think sometimes they don't even realize they are behaving that way. If we could each spend a day with ourselves I wonder what refection we would see?

*love for all*

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #240 on: July 16, 2011, 10:51:52 PM »
*offers hugs* Unfortunately some people can't function without doing it, that is their only sadistic pleasure in life to make everyone else miserable.
* accepts hugs and returns*   very true Night Stalker

*hugs Sybl*

I'm so sorry, honey, I'm just a PM away if you wanna talk about it.

Love you, dear one.
*returns hugs* thanks Izzy

*offers hugs* I'm sorry you're feeling the pain, Sybl. I think sometimes they don't even realize they are behaving that way. If we could each spend a day with ourselves I wonder what refection we would see?

*love for all*
*hugs returned*
I am one of those who that looks in the mirror everyday.. if I can't "look" I try to find out what caused that.  Today started out great, it was a slammed door (not literally) that got my attention. There are some who would rather spend time with my split, then give me the time of day. That hurts when I am the one who met them first. I don't know if it is a big joke to them or what, asking me to step down so they can talk with her. Like I do this for fun or something..
Now I am just ticked off, more than hurt.  >:(

Offline Oreo

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #241 on: July 16, 2011, 11:04:33 PM »

I am one of those who that looks in the mirror everyday.. if I can't "look" I try to find out what caused that.  Today started out great, it was a slammed door (not literally) that got my attention. There are some who would rather spend time with my split, then give me the time of day. That hurts when I am the one who met them first. I don't know if it is a big joke to them or what, asking me to step down so they can talk with her. Like I do this for fun or something..
Now I am just ticked off, more than hurt.  >:(
:( That seems a terrible thing to ask. *sputters* My jaw is clenching. By the mirror, I generally try to look at my actions and words (very self critical). I know I like me from my inner perception, but I will never know how others perceive me. I wonder if it would be different than what I think I see.

I love the generous spirit of everyone in this thread, the willingness to reach out to others in pain and despair. Most of my negative self perceptions come from getting cranky because of my progressive disease. I get moments of anger over things that really shouldn't matter. The instant it has passed I regret the slip and grab hold of my better nature. Still, the fight continues without surcease. Sometimes I just grow weary of the struggle.

Offline Night Stalker

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #242 on: July 16, 2011, 11:09:09 PM »
I dare not ever look in the mirror, the way I see myself which is harshly is far from the way others see or perceive me, I can gather that much.
Life can be cruel but it was never meant to be easy or so I have been told so I just grin and bear my own hatred of self.

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #243 on: July 16, 2011, 11:22:06 PM »
:( That seems a terrible thing to ask. *sputters* My jaw is clenching. By the mirror, I generally try to look at my actions and words (very self critical). I know I like me from my inner perception, but I will never know how others perceive me. I wonder if it would be different than what I think I see.

I love the generous spirit of everyone in this thread, the willingness to reach out to others in pain and despair. Most of my negative self perceptions come from getting cranky because of my progressive disease. I get moments of anger over things that really shouldn't matter. The instant it has passed I regret the slip and grab hold of my better nature. Still, the fight continues without surcease. Sometimes I just grow weary of the struggle.
I agree with you about the people and their generous spirit, here. I can tell you what I see in you, too, a very generous giving person, I never never seen you act up or out.. that's a mighty big plus, Oreo.
Since becoming permanently disabled, I found myself angry a lot of the time at the drunk who ran me over. Since then, I have added stress of the brittle bone disease and degenerative disk disease. I won't give up, I do understand your weariness, as well,  All of us here struggle, I am glad we have each other to fall back on, get hugs, and share ourselves, the best way we can.

I dare not ever look in the mirror, the way I see myself which is harshly is far from the way others see or perceive me, I can gather that much.
Life can be cruel but it was never meant to be easy or so I have been told so I just grin and bear my own hatred of self.
I Hope that you will find the strength within to love yourself.. it is bad enough their is so much hate in the world, I don't think self hatred is an act of kindness.. for you or from you.

*leaves hugs for all that need and want them*

Offline Night Stalker

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #244 on: July 16, 2011, 11:31:16 PM »
Sybl, thank you for the words and hugs.

Offline Athos

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #245 on: July 16, 2011, 11:32:55 PM »
*hugs Sybl* There seems to be no end to people's ignorance sometimes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that crap. As for the mirror, there was a time when I had a lot of trouble looking at myself. I'm happy to say that as I've gotten a little older and learned a lot more about myself, I have no trouble holding my own gaze. I'm not perfect, but I do like myself and believe that I'm generally a decent person.

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #246 on: July 17, 2011, 12:05:00 AM »
Sybl, thank you for the words and hugs.
You are welcome Night Stalker. I said them because I believe them. I spent many years hating myself, until it almost destroyed me, literally. I really hope that with a little shove, (from me) and others here, you will come to that place when you look in your mirror and say it with feeling: "Hey, I am a great guy, after all."

*hugs Sybl* There seems to be no end to people's ignorance sometimes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that crap. As for the mirror, there was a time when I had a lot of trouble looking at myself. I'm happy to say that as I've gotten a little older and learned a lot more about myself, I have no trouble holding my own gaze. I'm not perfect, but I do like myself and believe that I'm generally a decent person.

*hugs you both* None of are perfect, but we continue to strive to be better than we were. I love everyone of you guys and ladies here. Without your support, I would have drowned.
*Am feeling better about things, thanks so much,
Sybl

Offline Night Stalker

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #247 on: July 17, 2011, 12:08:15 AM »
You are welcome Night Stalker. I said them because I believe them. I spent many years hating myself, until it almost destroyed me, literally. I really hope that with a little shove, (from me) and others here, you will come to that place when you look in your mirror and say it with feeling: "Hey, I am a great guy, after all."

*hugs you both* None of are perfect, but we continue to strive to be better than we were. I love everyone of you guys and ladies here. Without your support, I would have drowned.
*Am feeling better about things, thanks so much,
Sybl

*blushes* Perhaps that day will come, need to overcome the years of mental anguish from all including parents(both deceased) who I never seemed to measure up to what they expected of me.

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #248 on: July 17, 2011, 12:25:27 AM »
*blushes* Perhaps that day will come, need to overcome the years of mental anguish from all including parents(both deceased) who I never seemed to measure up to what they expected of me.
ohhh yes! I know that well.. you can do it.. I will pester you until you do *hugs*  :-)

Offline Night Stalker

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #249 on: July 17, 2011, 12:26:44 AM »
ohhh yes! I know that well.. you can do it.. I will pester you until you do *hugs*  :-)

*hugs back*