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Author Topic: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View  (Read 101400 times)

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Offline Ariabella

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #175 on: June 16, 2011, 08:44:24 AM »
None of you have a bunny, apparently! Or at least, my bunny. Any time I want a cuddle from him 'cause I'm feeling blue he runs away and thumps at me!

At least he doesn't growl at you like my friend's used to when she would try to cuddle. But no, I've always had cats, dogs long ago.

Offline Karlissa

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #176 on: June 16, 2011, 02:21:34 PM »
I read through this topic when I was in the process of being applied and it was one of the things that made me confident about applying. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been a part of this topic, one of the worst things about depression is thinking you are alone. Being able to read the understanding in this topic makes me feel so much more comfortable being a part of E.

I have been suffering from depression since I was about 14, I am now 25, and on regular anti-depressants. Changing my contraceptive pill also helped as the hormones were driving my moods crazy, between those and my very loving and understanding fiance I am fairly stabilised. It hasn't been an easy ride though, and I didn't recognise I was depressed until I was away from home and at University at the age of 20. My depression stems from being bullied during my school years, family drama and a whole host of health problems. I remember seeing a therapist a few years ago and she said to me 'wow with all those health problems it's no wonder you're depressed'. As silly as it sounds just having someone actually say that made a world of difference, too often are people made to feel bad or guilty about being depressed.

Recently it has been hard for me because one of my conditions, Hypermobility Syndrome, has had a major flare up and I've been in agony for about 4 weeks rather than the 1 week that a normal flare up lasts for. Add to that a lot of job stress and thus leaving my job, tomorrow being the last day, I've been having a lot of anxiety regarding leaving the house the past weeks. I've been so doped up on a morphine-like painkiller that I've not felt confident to leave the house alone. My fiance has helped me go out and I am finally feeling better, but I've yet to go out alone so far.

Offline Night Stalker

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #177 on: June 16, 2011, 09:51:04 PM »
*hugs Karlissa* You are amongst friends here, ever need a shoulder or ear, just a pm/im or email away.

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #178 on: June 17, 2011, 01:37:30 AM »
Welcome Karlissa. *Leaves hugs, for you and all who want them* You are welcome to send me a PM any time, as is everyone who may wish too.

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #179 on: June 17, 2011, 03:00:08 AM »
I also want to welcome you Karlissa and echo the offer of a private friendly ear if you need one, which of course extends to everyone.

*leaves hugs in the bad day store for when they're needed*

Offline Karlissa

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #180 on: June 17, 2011, 04:38:04 AM »
Thank you guys, that is very much appreciated and likewise I am always available if anyone needs to talk <3

Offline Night Stalker

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #181 on: June 18, 2011, 09:14:20 PM »
Thank you Sybl and Rhedyn for the hugs.   Greatly appreciated and returned to all those who may need them.

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #182 on: June 18, 2011, 11:26:02 PM »
stops in to deliver some hugs for everyone.. hope we all get some peaceful thoughts this week

Offline ABelle71

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #183 on: June 19, 2011, 08:56:19 AM »
I want to thank all of you for your candor and honesty.  It has been incredible to read the support and caring coming from such a diverse community. 

I have suffered from depression for more years than I care to count.  I've been on anti-depressants for years and they keep me "stable" - no wild swings into suicidal thoughts, but no real recovery either...just exsistence.  I seem to be sinking into the quicksand again recently. Or perhaps I'm just getting to the point where denying how deeply sunk I am is futile.  Either way, it is getting more difficult to see a way out.  It all just takes too much energy.  I'm tired of fighting with it.  Why keep fighting when you know the war is never won?  Isn't it just easier to surrender?

 I wasn't even going to look at this blog (passed by the link for it so many times), but I am so glad I did.  Thank you all for being willing to take a risk and making it okay for others to share.

Belle

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #184 on: June 19, 2011, 09:30:14 AM »
I want to thank all of you for your candor and honesty.  It has been incredible to read the support and caring coming from such a diverse community. 

 I'm tired of fighting with it.  Why keep fighting when you know the war is never won?  Isn't it just easier to surrender?

Belle
Welcome ABelle,
 *hugs you*

the fact is, it is easier to surrender, but think, for a moment, we all come to that place, of giving in, surrendering to the black pitch of depression, then by some force we snap out of it, for a brief moment, see a glimpse of the sun, in the form of another, reaching out, extending themselves perhaps?

I too have wanted to give in, so many times, not so long ago..but thanks to everyone's support, and love, a hug here and understanding thought passed on, I did not succeed in my surrender, thankfully, I am here another day,

thankful you stopped in, and I offer you my time, a PM, if needed, more hugs, and a listening ear, anytime.

thank you ABelle for sharing with us

Sybl
« Last Edit: June 20, 2011, 08:58:37 AM by Sybl »

Offline Meghan

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #185 on: June 19, 2011, 09:22:41 PM »
Thank you for starting this blog, Rhedyn.

I have read the posts and can relate to so many on so many levels. These days it is more lack of momentum, writer's blocks, procrastination, inertia, sleepiness more than actual tears and crying fits or drastic actions. I have carried it around with me though, for about 25 years, medicated for about 20+ years. I seem to find an even keel but OCD, anxiety and other issues trip me up. Making it but you can feel alone... so this was nice to browse through...

~huggggggggs for everyone~

Offline Anjasa

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #186 on: June 20, 2011, 05:36:18 AM »
Ahh, going to work is the worst. Especially after missing a few days after being sick. My stomach hates it. Doesn't help that the sky is grey. Again. We've gotten maybe 2 or 3 days with any sunshine in 3-4 weeks.

<3 you all. Hope you all have a good day.

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #187 on: June 20, 2011, 08:57:32 AM »
*hugs* Meghan and Anjasa

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #188 on: June 20, 2011, 09:21:20 AM »
*slides in after a very busy weekend*

You are most welcome here ABelle and Meghan *offers hugs*

Offline Anjasa

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #189 on: June 20, 2011, 04:47:18 PM »
*Hugs back*

One day down, four to go.

At least I have week nights!

Offline Arkane

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #190 on: June 20, 2011, 05:03:50 PM »
it is not something I feel I can really openly talk to anyone in my RL about easilyÖIím getting better at it with those that I trust but itís so much harder to sit and talk to someone who knows you well, to see their reactions as you talk and in part to dread what theyíre going to think about what you want to confide in them.
....
I would try to deal with it but I never went for any real help. Whenever I tried to reach out for help to the people around me it was ignored or brushed aside. I realised then that there was a stigma attached to the condition that only made me want to hide it even more.

For me it came and was gone, several years ago; since then, I am reasonably well. But I know the feeling. People and "friends" can't and won't understand, so it's better to find specialized assistance.




Offline Meghan

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #191 on: June 20, 2011, 08:03:54 PM »
~warm friendly hugs back to everyone~ Sending a few positive thoughts around...

Offline ABelle71

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #192 on: June 20, 2011, 10:06:44 PM »
Welcome ABelle,
 *hugs you*

the fact is, it is easier to surrender, but think, for a moment, we all come to that place, of giving in, surrendering to the black pitch of depression, then by some force we snap out of it, for a brief moment, see a glimpse of the sun, in the form of another, reaching out, extending themselves perhaps?

I too have wanted to give in, so many times, not so long ago..but thanks to everyone's support, and love, a hug here and understanding thought passed on, I did not succeed in my surrender, thankfully, I am here another day,

thankful you stopped in, and I offer you my time, a PM, if needed, more hugs, and a listening ear, anytime.

thank you ABelle for sharing with us

Sybl


Thank you so very much, Sybl.  I appreciate the thought.  I'm not suicidal, not by any stretch of the imagination.  Just....numb.  I really don't get excited or happy or joyful or grateful - or sad or angry or frustrated - over much these days.  Just many days of "blah". I just wonder if this is my normal now.  Trying to reach for joy or happiness seems futile, since I always end up back in this numbness.  So I wonder if just living in the blah is okay.  I mean, why bother reaching for anything else? 

I so appreciate the warm welcome and offer of support.  I was, pardon the expression, "thrilled" to see this topic featured on E. And then to find so many others so willing and open to speaking about it.  It is a blessing.

Btw, I read your blog too.  I am fascinated.  Love the pics of fractals....still wonder exactly what they are.  How do you create them?

HUGS
Belle

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #193 on: June 21, 2011, 02:21:15 AM »
Thank you so very much, Sybl.  I appreciate the thought.  I'm not suicidal, not by any stretch of the imagination.  Just....numb.  I really don't get excited or happy or joyful or grateful - or sad or angry or frustrated - over much these days.  Just many days of "blah". I just wonder if this is my normal now.  Trying to reach for joy or happiness seems futile, since I always end up back in this numbness.  So I wonder if just living in the blah is okay.  I mean, why bother reaching for anything else? 

I so appreciate the warm welcome and offer of support.  I was, pardon the expression, "thrilled" to see this topic featured on E. And then to find so many others so willing and open to speaking about it.  It is a blessing.

Btw, I read your blog too.  I am fascinated.  Love the pics of fractals....still wonder exactly what they are.  How do you create them?

HUGS
Belle
you are welcome ABelle,

thank you for asking about Fractals:

Fractals are irregular or odd images created either randomly or intentionally through various methods. Some of those, created intentionally are  called flame packs, a file created by another Fractal program  or intentional artistry. These are programmed digitally through various ways added to zip files, downloaded by who ever wants them (like me ;)  )

I have an apophysis (2 now) the old style which is still fun, and the new 7x, which is more fun.

Depending on my mood at the time, I use 3 methods or more created the colors I want to use, the manipulation tool etc. Occasionally, I will work for hours on one item, sometimes 2 minutes. I save them to my Render file after they "render" which can takes seconds to a day, or longer if you have a fancy computer that can handle the time it takes, memory wise.

If you or anyone is interested in learning, I have all the files you need or links to them.
I am happy that several here at E have taken me up on my offer.

*hugs* for all who need them,

Sybl

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #194 on: June 21, 2011, 02:24:55 AM »
~warm friendly hugs back to everyone~ Sending a few positive thoughts around...
returns hugs,

Congrats on your approval Meghan

Online StingWolf

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #195 on: June 21, 2011, 02:27:24 PM »
Well, Iíve been feeling a bit depressed lately.  Itís hard to explain, to me it feels like Iím losing the person I once was.  I was 19 when my father passed away and now Iím 21 struggling with a slight drinking problem and depression.  It was particularly hard for seeing my dad being taken out of the house on a stretcher after having a heart attack.  But I think the the that really put me into a state of shock was when I got a call from my mom at the hospital as the doctor had asked if we wanted to pull the plug or not, by that time he had two more additional heart attacks.  Soon after though he died from a fourth heart attack and I couldnít stand it.  Since then Iíve been really angry or sometimes even really emo.  But itís just been getting harder and harder for me to deal with this past week because of fatherís day.  In this last week Iíve lost myself this angry other side of me and it even broke down the only RP one this site I was doing.  I think Iím at the point where my anger is beyond my own control.  Itís gotten to the point that Iím even getting angry the only time I feel truly happy (when Iím drunk, yes Iím a happy drunk.) Well thatís about all I want to share, it just helps to be able to share this.

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #196 on: June 21, 2011, 04:09:44 PM »
Well, Iíve been feeling a bit depressed lately.  Itís hard to explain, to me it feels like Iím losing the person I once was.  I was 19 when my father passed away and now Iím 21 struggling with a slight drinking problem and depression.  It was particularly hard for seeing my dad being taken out of the house on a stretcher after having a heart attack.  But I think the the that really put me into a state of shock was when I got a call from my mom at the hospital as the doctor had asked if we wanted to pull the plug or not, by that time he had two more additional heart attacks.  Soon after though he died from a fourth heart attack and I couldnít stand it.  Since then Iíve been really angry or sometimes even really emo.  But itís just been getting harder and harder for me to deal with this past week because of fatherís day.  In this last week Iíve lost myself this angry other side of me and it even broke down the only RP one this site I was doing.  I think Iím at the point where my anger is beyond my own control.  Itís gotten to the point that Iím even getting angry the only time I feel truly happy (when Iím drunk, yes Iím a happy drunk.) Well thatís about all I want to share, it just helps to be able to share this.

Like everyone else StingWolf, if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to, or need a hug, we are here for each other, including you.
We are as close as we can be through this thread, PMs and thoughts.

leaves *hugs* for you too

Offline Meghan

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #197 on: June 22, 2011, 06:32:52 PM »
returns hugs,

Congrats on your approval Meghan

Thanks, Sybl!!



So anyone else having grey, rainy, gloomy weather. It really makes harder to snap out of a mood. That's why distraction found here and other things, like books for me... sometimes sleep. I can't wait for sun to come back out.. but gonna be another day or two.


~leaves some huggggles~

Offline Anjasa

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #198 on: June 22, 2011, 07:20:00 PM »
Thanks, Sybl!!



So anyone else having grey, rainy, gloomy weather. It really makes harder to snap out of a mood. That's why distraction found here and other things, like books for me... sometimes sleep. I can't wait for sun to come back out.. but gonna be another day or two.


~leaves some huggggles~

We have had about... 5 hours of sunshine in about 4 weeks. I'm pretty much going crazy here. I know that SOUNDS absurd... but it's true :( Yea, living in Newfoundland is awesome for a lot of reasons, but the weather isn't one of them. We're the "The Eastern Canadian city with the foggiest, wettest, snowiest, windiest, cloudiest weather".

We get 1497 hours of sunshine every year. As a comparison? Seattle gets 2,174 hours of shineshine every year.

Offline Meghan

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #199 on: June 22, 2011, 08:33:17 PM »
We have had about... 5 hours of sunshine in about 4 weeks. I'm pretty much going crazy here. I know that SOUNDS absurd... but it's true :( Yea, living in Newfoundland is awesome for a lot of reasons, but the weather isn't one of them. We're the "The Eastern Canadian city with the foggiest, wettest, snowiest, windiest, cloudiest weather".

We get 1497 hours of sunshine every year. As a comparison? Seattle gets 2,174 hours of shineshine every year.

Hugggggggs! It's tough enough being in Northern latitudes, but eeek. Make sure to take care of yourself during those times (yes, I should, too). Eat, rest, seek friends. But just take care, an hour or two sunshine is due you soon!