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Author Topic: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View  (Read 102058 times)

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Offline Athos

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #200 on: June 22, 2011, 11:13:22 PM »
Well, Iíve been feeling a bit depressed lately.  Itís hard to explain, to me it feels like Iím losing the person I once was.  I was 19 when my father passed away and now Iím 21 struggling with a slight drinking problem and depression.  It was particularly hard for seeing my dad being taken out of the house on a stretcher after having a heart attack.  But I think the the that really put me into a state of shock was when I got a call from my mom at the hospital as the doctor had asked if we wanted to pull the plug or not, by that time he had two more additional heart attacks.  Soon after though he died from a fourth heart attack and I couldnít stand it.  Since then Iíve been really angry or sometimes even really emo.  But itís just been getting harder and harder for me to deal with this past week because of fatherís day.  In this last week Iíve lost myself this angry other side of me and it even broke down the only RP one this site I was doing.  I think Iím at the point where my anger is beyond my own control.  Itís gotten to the point that Iím even getting angry the only time I feel truly happy (when Iím drunk, yes Iím a happy drunk.) Well thatís about all I want to share, it just helps to be able to share this.

I feel you man. My father died after a heart attack when I was a kid and the image of seeing his body taken away is one that's stuck with me. Afterward, I was very angry for a very long time (I still am at times). As I've gotten older I've turned to alcohol a number of times to make the pain to away and in so doing become dependent on it. Luckily I've managed to get a hold of it each time before it turned into full blown alcoholism. This may not apply to you, but based on what you wrote I think it might. If it does, the only thing I can really say is get a hold on it before it gets a hold on you. Don't lose who you are. I remember what those first few years were like and how raw I felt, so if you need anything at all don't hesitate to PM me.

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #201 on: June 23, 2011, 02:08:45 AM »
S.N.A.F.U.

Every so often, I go through a change.  Not sure exactly what causes it. Something inside snaps, like an electrical shock wave through my whole being, my emotions go beyond haywire. That's where I am right now, trying to recover, again.  Past images have been penetrating to the surface, past feelings, rage, horrible rage.

Yesterday I witnessed my best friends suicide, again. It didn't happen yesterday, it happened on June 22, 1976. I watched her dive off a roof to the cement. I couldn't do anything, not a damn thing. Which brought back even more memories of my "useless" moments in life.

I am beyond depressed.

Offline Anjasa

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #202 on: June 23, 2011, 04:40:00 AM »
Oh Sybl :(

<3 I'm so sorry. Sometimes I get that, but to a lesser degree. I'll be fine and then all of a sudden a negative memory will come back to me so clearly that I'm suddenly concerned it's happening again.

*Hugs back*

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #203 on: June 23, 2011, 05:10:51 AM »
Oh Sybl :(

<3 I'm so sorry. Sometimes I get that, but to a lesser degree. I'll be fine and then all of a sudden a negative memory will come back to me so clearly that I'm suddenly concerned it's happening again.

*Hugs back*
*returns hugs* thank you Anjasa

Offline Meghan

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #204 on: June 23, 2011, 08:24:11 PM »
S.N.A.F.U.

Every so often, I go through a change.  Not sure exactly what causes it. Something inside snaps, like an electrical shock wave through my whole being, my emotions go beyond haywire. That's where I am right now, trying to recover, again.  Past images have been penetrating to the surface, past feelings, rage, horrible rage.

Yesterday I witnessed my best friends suicide, again. It didn't happen yesterday, it happened on June 22, 1976. I watched her dive off a roof to the cement. I couldn't do anything, not a damn thing. Which brought back even more memories of my "useless" moments in life.

I am beyond depressed.

I hate when negative, old hurtful things come back to haunt the mind and you can feel helpless indeed. ~huggggggggggs~ Try to replace it with other things, activity or thoughts. I know it's hard, but you can do it ~Huggggggggs~

Offline ABelle71

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #205 on: June 23, 2011, 10:51:15 PM »
We have had about... 5 hours of sunshine in about 4 weeks. I'm pretty much going crazy here. I know that SOUNDS absurd... but it's true :( Yea, living in Newfoundland is awesome for a lot of reasons, but the weather isn't one of them. We're the "The Eastern Canadian city with the foggiest, wettest, snowiest, windiest, cloudiest weather".

We get 1497 hours of sunshine every year. As a comparison? Seattle gets 2,174 hours of shineshine every year.

Have you, or anyone else, tried one of those "natural light" lamps?  I got an old one from a friend of my mom's.  I didn't think much of it until this past winter when we had more than our fair share of grey snowy days.  I switched it on in the mornings, while I was getting ready for the day.  I was amazed at the difference it made in my mood!  Now, whenever I know the day is starting out cloudy and icky...on goes that lamp! 

Belle

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #206 on: June 24, 2011, 02:54:44 AM »
I hate when negative, old hurtful things come back to haunt the mind and you can feel helpless indeed. ~huggggggggggs~ Try to replace it with other things, activity or thoughts. I know it's hard, but you can do it ~Huggggggggs~

appreciate your thoughts and hugs so much. It is better today, *returns hugs*

Have you, or anyone else, tried one of those "natural light" lamps?  I got an old one from a friend of my mom's.  I didn't think much of it until this past winter when we had more than our fair share of grey snowy days.  I switched it on in the mornings, while I was getting ready for the day.  I was amazed at the difference it made in my mood!  Now, whenever I know the day is starting out cloudy and icky...on goes that lamp! 

Belle

I have heard they work from others. Might see if I can find one too, thanks ABelle *hugs*

Offline Anjasa

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #207 on: June 24, 2011, 05:52:42 AM »
Have you, or anyone else, tried one of those "natural light" lamps?  I got an old one from a friend of my mom's.  I didn't think much of it until this past winter when we had more than our fair share of grey snowy days.  I switched it on in the mornings, while I was getting ready for the day.  I was amazed at the difference it made in my mood!  Now, whenever I know the day is starting out cloudy and icky...on goes that lamp! 

Belle

I've been planning on getting one, but I get migraines from florescent bulbs and I heard that the LED ones weren't as effective, though I'm not sure how truthful it is.

Another day of rain here. Though there is some 'cloudy with sunny breaks' in the forecast, and 'sunny with isolated showers', so I hope I'll be getting a few rays with week.

I tried to go tanning to boost my mood, but honestly, having to walk down to the tanning salon in miserable weather is a trial in and of itself, and I never found it really helped my mood much.

Offline Ariabella

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #208 on: June 24, 2011, 10:00:15 AM »
Today's shaping up to be a bad day, and I've been up two hours and wondering why I even got up today.  My one RP I'm doing elsewhere I've once again been apparently been abandoned in (to the point that no response was even given to my PM and the person had logged in and another seems to have withdrawn themselves from the scene we were doing) , nothing new on any of the forums that I routinely check (or at least nothing new that I'm interested in), and I even tried to buy an ebook and the site kept giving me error messages. I'm very close to the edge of tears and have no idea how to cheer myself up. I mean really, when online retail therapy fails you, what else is there?

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #209 on: June 24, 2011, 11:40:56 AM »
Today's shaping up to be a bad day, and I've been up two hours and wondering why I even got up today.  My one RP I'm doing elsewhere I've once again been apparently been abandoned in (to the point that no response was even given to my PM and the person had logged in and another seems to have withdrawn themselves from the scene we were doing) , nothing new on any of the forums that I routinely check (or at least nothing new that I'm interested in), and I even tried to buy an ebook and the site kept giving me error messages. I'm very close to the edge of tears and have no idea how to cheer myself up. I mean really, when online retail therapy fails you, what else is there?

there is here

Ariabella.. we all are within reach via PM. If I can help, I will do my best. Even if it is only to listen..give a hug

*hugs*

Offline Ariabella

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #210 on: June 24, 2011, 11:53:52 AM »
*hugs*

Offline Night Stalker

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #211 on: June 24, 2011, 10:58:36 PM »
Leaves hugs and good thoughts for all who may need or want them.

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #212 on: June 25, 2011, 01:39:08 AM »
Leaves hugs and good thoughts for all who may need or want them.
Accepts all hugs and good thoughts

Offline Anjasa

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #213 on: June 25, 2011, 06:24:09 AM »
Well, still haven't gotten a sunny day in all of June, though they're saying there may be sun this afternoon. Completely grey right now, though.

There was an August a few years ago where there was 18 days in a row without sun, but we've got that beat now.

I can't wait for sun.

Offline Night Stalker

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #214 on: June 25, 2011, 09:10:42 PM »
Dark and dreary days certainly don't help anyone's mood. 
For me I try to use the net when it gets bad, music can help if my cats can't get a smile out of me.
To say I am looking forward to Spring is an understatement, summer is not bad if the days aren't stifling hot and muggy.

Offline ABelle71

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #215 on: June 25, 2011, 10:53:37 PM »
I've been planning on getting one, but I get migraines from florescent bulbs and I heard that the LED ones weren't as effective, though I'm not sure how truthful it is.

Another day of rain here. Though there is some 'cloudy with sunny breaks' in the forecast, and 'sunny with isolated showers', so I hope I'll be getting a few rays with week.

I tried to go tanning to boost my mood, but honestly, having to walk down to the tanning salon in miserable weather is a trial in and of itself, and I never found it really helped my mood much.

I get migraines too and florescents are the worst!  LEDs are not AS effective, true enough. But more effective than nothing, right?  I have heard, from other migraineurs that wearing sunglasses while they have the natural light on is helpful.  It seems to be that it absorbs more through your skin than your eyes anyway. 

I also heard of getting Vitamin D supplements.  It seems to be helpful as well! 

HUGS and happy thoughts to one and all!!

Belle

Offline Meghan

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #216 on: June 25, 2011, 11:27:31 PM »
Vitamin D seems to help a bit... at higher doses.



On another note.. the lack of momentum has me in it's grips which I strive to loosen up tomorrow after some more rest. Hope others are having better time of it ~Hugggggs~

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #217 on: June 25, 2011, 11:35:19 PM »
drops by to leave some hugs for everyone

Offline Anjasa

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #218 on: June 26, 2011, 07:22:14 AM »
I get migraines too and florescents are the worst!  LEDs are not AS effective, true enough. But more effective than nothing, right?  I have heard, from other migraineurs that wearing sunglasses while they have the natural light on is helpful.  It seems to be that it absorbs more through your skin than your eyes anyway. 

I also heard of getting Vitamin D supplements.  It seems to be helpful as well! 

HUGS and happy thoughts to one and all!!

Belle

True enough!

The promised sun didn't come out yesterday.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/kireinamichiru/DSC04992.jpg <- I took this picture as the weather network said 'partly cloudy' and that's what it looked like in all directions in all ways. And more of the same today.

I take some vitamins in the morning, and I'm glad for that, because if I didn't, I'm sure I'd be a basket case. I find Vitamin D helps me go from 'sucky' to 'not sucky', though it's certainly not a miracle drug. It does help balance me a bit, though, and takes the edge off.

And I think the worst part about this weather is I know that as soon as summer does hit, it will be so hot and muggy that I won't want to move! I like it around 15 degrees Celsius.

Hugs all! Hope everyone has a good Sunday :)

Offline Night Stalker

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #219 on: June 26, 2011, 09:36:01 AM »
drops by to leave some hugs for everyone

thank you.  *hugs back* needed those.

Offline Sylk

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #220 on: June 26, 2011, 04:05:23 PM »
*runs in and tacklehugsnogs everyone*

Sylk

Offline ABelle71

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #221 on: June 26, 2011, 11:35:08 PM »
Hahaha, Sylk!!  I was just about to do something similar!!

****drive-by hugging everyone*****

Sybl had the great idea of PMing some of those hugs to people on these boards.  I think I'm going to start trying that too.  Everyone needs a drive-by hug every once in a while!

Offline Izzy1337

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #222 on: June 26, 2011, 11:44:08 PM »
*takes a bunch of the hugs left lying around by the drive-by's and the donations*

tyvm all. i needed that. i lost my job today. in this economy, that is quite the downer all by itself. however, it's worse for me, b/c i only had a job in the first place so that i could rake in enough money to support my children and get them back from my mother (who is watching/taking care of them right now, and has been for the past year). i miss my kids. and my life sucks badly right now. *cries*

sorry to whine, and ty again for the hugs

--izzy

Offline Night Stalker

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #223 on: June 26, 2011, 11:48:44 PM »
*takes a bunch of the hugs left lying around by the drive-by's and the donations*

tyvm all. i needed that. i lost my job today. in this economy, that is quite the downer all by itself. however, it's worse for me, b/c i only had a job in the first place so that i could rake in enough money to support my children and get them back from my mother (who is watching/taking care of them right now, and has been for the past year). i miss my kids. and my life sucks badly right now. *cries*

sorry to whine, and ty again for the hugs

--izzy

*hugs* Sorry to hear on losing your job.   Sending good thoughts you will find another real soon.

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #224 on: June 27, 2011, 10:38:19 AM »
*takes a bunch of the hugs left lying around by the drive-by's and the donations*

tyvm all. i needed that. i lost my job today. in this economy, that is quite the downer all by itself. however, it's worse for me, b/c i only had a job in the first place so that i could rake in enough money to support my children and get them back from my mother (who is watching/taking care of them right now, and has been for the past year). i miss my kids. and my life sucks badly right now. *cries*

sorry to whine, and ty again for the hugs

--izzy

Sorry to hear that *also sends positive thoughts and hugs*

I hope things improve for you

*leaves hugs and support for everyone who needs it in my absence*