Every so often, I go through a change. Not sure exactly what causes it. Something inside snaps, like an electrical shock wave through my whole being, my emotions go beyond haywire. That's where I am right now, trying to recover, again. Past images have been penetrating to the surface, past feelings, rage, horrible rage.
Yesterday I witnessed my best friends suicide, again. It didn't happen yesterday, it happened on June 22, 1976. I watched her dive off a roof to the cement. I couldn't do anything, not a damn thing. Which brought back even more memories of my "useless" moments in life.
I am beyond depressed.