The Best of Blydad

[Remiel]

I'm beginning to suspect that Blydad invented the "Dad joke".

[Beguile's Mistress]

If he didn't he should be given credit for perfecting it.

[Mister Morgue]

While we were out driving...

Blydad: oh my god
Blydad: OH MY GOD
Blydad: LOOK
Blydad: it's a '67 Impala
Me: ....I know you like old cars; it's been a good day for those. We saw that 'Cuda earlier and--
Blydad: NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Blydad: it's just like from Supernatural down to the color and everything
Blydad: and they parked their Impala outside the old hotel
Blydad: and everyone in town says that place is haunted and I just...I just....
Blydad: .....have to circle the block again, I have to look at that car again and just wonder what an episode of Supernatural would be like in our little town!
Blydad: *screams in the most fanboy noise I've ever heard him make*
Me: I did not realize you were such a fan of Supernatural; I only know you watched it sometimes
Blydad: *screams louder and honks at the Impala happily after we re-circle the block*

This is possibly the best thing I ever stumbled upon on the internet. And I would have likely done the same exact thing as Blydad. 

[Blythe]

Blydad: Do you know what my lifegoals are
Me: What
Blydad: To be as secure in my masculinity as Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart
Me: Or to eat enough cupcakes for a small army
Blydad: Yes, but I'm more likely to accomplish the second thing in my lifetime than the first thing, son
Blydad: WAIT. WAIT.
Blydad: NEW LIFE GOAL.
Blydad: I want to, in a very secure masculine fashion, eat cupcakes with Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart.
Me: By secure you mean...
Blydad: I will be stealing cupcakes from them as they look on in horror

[Amaris]

omg, I love Blydad so much!

[Mister Morgue]

Oh my god... now I want to steal cupcakes from Sir Ian and Sir Patrick while they look on in abject horror...

[Kye]

So perfect! <3

[Wenterburn]

If I ever share any qualities with Ian McKellen I'll be happy.

If I ever share any pastries with McKellen or Stewart I would be pleased.

[Blythe]

Blydad when ordering his drink at a restaurant today


Waitress: What would you like to drink
Blydad: Sugar
Waitress: Sweet tea, I'll assume..?
Blydad: ...same thing. One tall cold glass of sugar, please

[Remiel]

He's not wrong.

[Mirrah]

Blydad. <333

[Beautiful Poison]

That's for real! As a gal from North Carolina... if it's not thick like syrup you made it wrong. <3

[Blythe]

Me: It's late, why are you still up?
Blydad: Why are you still up?
Me: Touché.
Blydad: The simple answer is that I couldn't sleep.
Me: ....what's the complicated answer?
Blydad: The complicated answer is that even though I am in my 60s and normally not insane, I heard a noise on the window AC unit in my room, convinced myself the room was haunted even though I know there is a 99.99% chance it's raccoons, and now I can't sleep and turned on all the kitchen lights because their dim yellow glow makes me feel safe.
Me: So why are you holding cake?
Blydad: My fear that raccoons or ghosts or raccoon ghosts were in my AC unit made me hungry.
Me: Everything makes you hungry.
Blydad: ....touché.

[CrownedSun]

Hehe. I, too, have had the random fear of nighttime ghost raccoons so I totally get where Blydad is coming from there.

[Amaris]

Blydad <3

[Nowherewoman]

Grin++

[Blythe]

From like, an hour ago (keep in mind that an hour ago for me was just before 3 a.m.)--has some serious tones but also a little humor. ^^

Blydad: Do you ever just marvel at how wonderful the world is sometimes
Me: I'm curious what has you in such a good mood to say that sort of thing
Blydad: I mean when I was little, like a little boy who picked up dime comic books, I never dreamed
Blydad: I mean never
Blydad: in a million years
Blydad: that I would see the types of superhero TV shows and movies I can watch now
Blydad: I mean you have to remember I moved around as a kid and spent so much time hurt--you don't break the same collarbone three times in your youth without spending a lot of time miserable and at home, reading comic books and getting further behind in school
Blydad: And those comic books were my only respite at the time.
Me: Your collarbone is permanently broken now, isn't it, since it didn't heal right when you were young, right?
Blydad: Right! But even though it hurt like hell, the pain didn't stop me from struggling to turn the pages. My mother used to take them away from me.
Me: I have to know then...what's your favorite superhero-related media produced within the last few years?
Blydad: That's like asking a kid you just literally sold a candy store to what his favorite candy is. It doesn't matter.
Blydad: He has all the candy. Your question is irrelevant.
Me: I'm going to assume you are about to--
Blydad: PINE AND SULK OVER THE FACT I HAVEN'T GOTTEN TO SEE INFINITY WAR.
Blydad: I am grateful for all the ways that the passage of time has actually improved my life, but at the same time, my patience is rubbish. I wait to see the new movies now just as impatiently as I ever waited for any new issue of my dime store comic book issues.
Me: Did you know that Bly-sis got you something superhero related? She's going to send it in the mail to you soon.
Blydad: *silent*
Blydad: Do you think she would mind if I called her and asked her what it is?
Me: She might mind, you know. Have you looked at the time--
Me: Oh. You're already on the phone.
Blydad: (on the phone, Bly-sis having actually picked up) Yes, I know its late.
Blydad: [Bly] said you got me something superhero related and--
Blydad: YES IT REQUIRED ME CALLING YOU AT THIS HOUR.
Blydad: THIS IS A DAD-RELATED EMERGENCY OF SUPER PROPPORTIONS.
Blydad: (shocked) She hung up on me!
Me: I did mention it was kind of not a good time--
Blydad: REJECTION MOST PAINFUL.
Blydad: SLOWLY THE [BLYDAD], IN HIS TRAGIC GRIEF, TURNS TO SCIENCE AND EVIL TO FIX HIS WOES
Me: ...you're going to poke her on Facebook and claim she's turning you into a supervillain, aren't you?
Blydad: THWARTED BY MY HEROIC SON AND HIS MYSTERIOUS PSYCHIC GIFTS

[marauder13]

LOL

There are emergencies, then there are EMERGENCIES.

Poor Blydad, now having to be tortured with waiting for the superhero related item to arrive, and possibly knowing that it would be the last one ever sent by Blysis.

[Mirrah]

Blydad and Bly-psychic! <333

[Wenterburn]

Blydad and Bly-psychic! <333

A DAD-RELATED ADVENTURE OF SUPER PROPPORTIONS!

BLYDAD and PSYBLY

[Wistful Dream]

Blydad is amazing! <3 I really am curious who his favorite super is now though.

[Blythe]

Blydad literally any time there is a strong female lead in a show about to go down the predictable romance route (he gets a bit invested and yells at the TV):

(keep in mind I have no idea what he was watching; I wasn't paying attention until he yelled at the screen)

Blydad: (to TV) don't be fooled by his handsome face
Blydad: (to TV) he's just going to tie you down to a life of mediocrity that involves shopping at Kroger and his stupid booger-faced babies
Blydad: (to TV) you know magic and martial arts
Blydad: (to TV) don't do it
Blydad: (to TV) don't kiss him
Blydad: (to TV) KICK HIS ASS KICK HIS ASS KICK HIS ASS
Me: Why are you so hostile to happy romantic endings?
Blydad: Better question--why does the female lead need a man to be happy every time? I mean, sure, sometimes is okay, but it feels like it happens all the time.
Blydad: It bores me.
Me: So how would you end a movie with a strong female lead?
Blydad: I can think of several things. She becomes a teacher and passes on her knowledge of magical ass-kickery. She decides she isn't interested in romance and moves in with her bestie and they open a store together. She ascends to godhood. She uses the secrets learned in her quest to invent something new we need in society. And you know what? Not just happy endings. I'm fine with unhappy ones. Maybe she gets arrested because you can't just firekick people in the face and not suffer consequences legally.
Me: ....you are really tired of romance scenes in movies, aren't you?
Blydad: (to TV) KICK HIS ASS
Blydad: (to TV) BE LIKE A MAGICAL VERSION OF RONDA ROUSEY AND PUT HIM IN AN ARMBAR
Blydad: ...aaaaaand she kissed him. My show is ruined. I'm just going to go watch wrestling now.
Blydad: *cue Blydad sulking*

[Nowherewoman]

...he DOES kinda have a point... 

[CaptainNexus616]

I am ashamed I have never known the wisdom of Blydad until this moment. I must dedicate myself to his teachings from here on!

[Mister Morgue]

I mean, he's not wrong....