Back a few posts , zilzilhi (did i spell it right?) spoke my thoughts. I'm bored and depressed. I hope its OK for an unapproved member to write here. If not just tell me and I'll go away. I have always been a pleaser, since I was a small child. My joy comes from others acceptance and their smiles. lately life is full of rejection... even from my father who is in a nursing home, and needs me, but doesn't ever seem to be pleased by what I do. When I visit he talks about what isn't right. He's in hospice and slowly dying. His mind is slowly leaving him. It isn't his fault, so it becomes mine. I came here to Elliquiy because it is supposed to be an accepting place, and one that will allow me an escape in role play. is it wrong to want to escape? Is it wrong to need acceptance? The introduction process has been a disaster for me. My ability to communicate with others is limited, and when i try to use the the places I can go to communicate, I get a repremand. Its been 6 days... and no approval... everyone says that is normal, but i can see from the archived intros that its not, look for yourself. Everyone tells me to be patient, and will say no more... no clues on how to please. Its driving me crazy. I'm loosing sleep over it and it makes no sense. I keep hoping as each day passes that i will be approved and this whole thing will be behind me. Its just a website. Why does it matter so much to me. I cant shake it. My rational mind says forget it and go away, but I cant for some reason. I hope the approval team wont hold what I write here against me. If they are trying to see if I'll crack, they win, I have. Soooo... this blog is my last hope for Elliquiy. I sympathise with the depressed here because I have joined you. I hope you won't mind sharing with me. If I can't hang on here, I think I'm done.