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Author Topic: Perverted Wishes  (Read 89455 times)

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Offline Karnax

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1050 on: September 21, 2008, 09:28:46 PM »
Granted. You now have mad cow disease.

I wish I could fly.

Offline Paradox

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1051 on: September 21, 2008, 09:43:16 PM »
Granted. You realize that anyone could fly...if they jumped from any airplane. This revelation really doesn't do you much good though, since you aren't suicidal.

I wish that food never expired.

Offline Revolverman

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1052 on: September 21, 2008, 09:47:35 PM »
Granted, but it also makes it so it cant be digested so you starve to death


I wish I had a supercomputer

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1053 on: September 22, 2008, 08:23:14 AM »
Granted, but it also makes it so it cant be digested so you starve to death


I wish I had a supercomputer
Wish granted but it's super like Superman is super, and it beats the wholly crap out of you and rips you in half like a phone book, and then steals your milk money.

I wish I was a math genius.

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1054 on: September 22, 2008, 08:30:08 AM »
Granted, you discover many important things about our universe but you become increasingly obsessed with mathematics to the point where you cut off all friends and family, and become an extremely isolated recluse comforted only by your equations and "Don" a friend of yours whom only you can see, and tells you to kill...

I wish Indidu doesn't listen to "Don."

Offline Zaer Darkwail

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1055 on: September 26, 2008, 04:28:46 AM »
Wish granted but instead you get the 'Don'.

I wish at least once per month I get very nice meal (three course meal, all favored foods and drinks)

Offline Karnax

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1056 on: September 26, 2008, 02:38:22 PM »
Granted, however the meal is poorly cooked, and you get food poisoning. 3 courses of food poisoning.


I wish I had a maid / nanny to help things out around the house.

Offline AcidCrayfish

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1057 on: September 26, 2008, 04:07:21 PM »
granted, but the maid is inept and makes more of mess than she cleans...

I wish I had my masters degree already.

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1058 on: September 27, 2008, 10:38:13 AM »
Granted but it's in underwater basket weaving and there isn't a lot of call for that.

I wish I had a turkey burger. Yes they're good surprisingly.

Offline Karnax

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1059 on: September 29, 2008, 12:17:25 AM »
Granted, but then a crack PETA commando squad shows up and beats the hell out of you for your animial cruelty.

I wish I knew kung fu.

Offline AcidCrayfish

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1060 on: September 29, 2008, 10:55:07 AM »
granted, but its space kung fu, and therefore only suited for use in a zero g environment...

I wish my laundry cleaned itself.

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1061 on: September 30, 2008, 04:28:23 PM »
Wish granted but it gets sick of working for free, and goes on strike.

I wish, I had a metric ton of assorted candy (Snickers,  M&N's, Twix, etc.)

Offline Shadowsire

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1062 on: October 03, 2008, 06:03:05 AM »
Wish granted but you must eat it all within 24 hours.


I wish I could read peoples minds.

Offline Bayushi

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1063 on: October 03, 2008, 07:02:47 PM »
Wish granted, but when you read it, it's all in Braille.

I wish I wasn't always so damned tired.

Offline Miss Lacey

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1064 on: October 03, 2008, 07:05:22 PM »
Wish granted, but you're always awake and can never sleep again.

I wish I had an ice cream cone.

Offline Shatelia

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1065 on: October 04, 2008, 11:59:20 AM »
Wish Granted, a giant Ice cram cone falls from the sky, closes over you and imprisons you til the end of your days.

I wish I had a lover.

Offline Miss Lacey

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1066 on: October 04, 2008, 12:52:31 PM »
Wish granted, but said lover doesn't tell you about the herpes and then blames you once you confront them.

I wish my allergies would go away

Offline MusicNeverDies

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1067 on: October 06, 2008, 06:06:07 PM »
Granted, but instead you catch West Nile Virus.

I wish I didn't procrastinate so much.

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1068 on: October 07, 2008, 08:45:13 AM »
Granted, but you become an extreme type A personality that you no longer have time for friends and family.

I wish Sarah Palin didn't make me nauseous.

Offline Paradox

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1069 on: October 07, 2008, 08:49:45 AM »
Granted; instead, she makes you dead with that moose-shooter of hers.

I wish that I could speak Spanish more fluently.

Offline Emmaline

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1070 on: October 07, 2008, 09:56:22 AM »
Granted; instead, she makes you dead with that moose-shooter of hers.

I wish that I could speak Spanish more fluently.

Granted: but you learn it in a crowded jail cell in Tijuana where you spend 3 months.

I wish I could travel to Europe.

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1071 on: October 07, 2008, 01:54:09 PM »
Granted, but you wind up in a disputed zone and held hostage by militants.

I wish I would never be bitten by mosquitoes ever again.

Offline Bayushi

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1072 on: October 08, 2008, 12:51:02 AM »
Granted, but the last one that DID bite you gave you Malaria.

I wish I was an Elven lass.

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1073 on: October 08, 2008, 09:18:32 AM »
Granted but you're a Keebler Elven lass. 

I wish I had some cookies.

Offline Idej

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1074 on: October 08, 2008, 10:23:45 AM »
Granted, but Keebler Elf commandos burst into your house and take the cookie from you and shoot you in the head.  Apparently they are hurting to with the economy and are forced to conserve.

I wish that life would stop giving me lemons.
« Last Edit: October 08, 2008, 10:25:35 AM by Idej »