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Author Topic: Perverted Wishes  (Read 89505 times)

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Offline Karnax

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1025 on: September 15, 2008, 11:47:58 PM »
Granted. But you're under it.

I wish I did have a new user id.

Online delle

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1026 on: September 15, 2008, 11:52:15 PM »
Cool. Your User id is now Elementary-Dickhead-With-Male-Pattern-Baldness. Enjoy!

I wish people would stop posting in this thread.

Offline Karnax

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1027 on: September 15, 2008, 11:53:52 PM »
Granted, but then you realize instead of stopping the posts, you have been struck blind by syphllis.

I wish I had more money.

Offline Seara

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1028 on: September 16, 2008, 12:22:34 AM »
Granted, but then you get into a car accident that is your fault and they sue you, for everything you own and win.

I wish that my fridge produced the food that I want at the moment.

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1029 on: September 16, 2008, 07:19:08 AM »
Granted, but it realizes that you need dog food and produces nothing but cans of it.

I wish I had a photocopier.

Offline Paradox

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1030 on: September 16, 2008, 08:51:44 AM »
Granted, but no matter what you attempt to copy, it only produces a picture of some guy's pale, swollen ass cheeks.

I wish I could remove that imagery from my mind.

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1031 on: September 16, 2008, 09:30:57 PM »
Granted you no longer have a mind.

I wish I could be a little more hedonistic.

Offline Karnax

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1032 on: September 18, 2008, 02:01:19 AM »
Granted, but you enjoy food and wine so much you become a giant fat drunk and no one will play with you anymore.

I wish Natalie Portman was my willing sex slave.

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1033 on: September 18, 2008, 08:14:17 AM »
Granted but for some reason you wind up with Hayden Christianson tagging along...

I wish I could resolve my furniture dispute.

Offline Shatelia

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1034 on: September 19, 2008, 06:40:59 PM »
Granted, all furniture goes up in flames.

I wish I could take a nap.

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1035 on: September 19, 2008, 07:07:21 PM »
Granted, but you do it in upstate New York after getting drunk with some ghosts and you don't wake up for twenty years.

I wish I didn't have the hiccups today.

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1036 on: September 19, 2008, 07:11:23 PM »
Wish granted but you no longer have the hiccups but you get them for every other day for the rest of your life and every time you have sex.

I wish I had four hundred legitimate, non-counterfeit U.S. dollars.

Offline Karnax

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1037 on: September 19, 2008, 07:14:05 PM »
granted, but your ass hurts and you have AIDS from the fat greasy man you had to sell your body to in order to get the money.


I wish I had a better car.

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1038 on: September 19, 2008, 08:03:22 PM »
Granted, but it's illegal to take a dragster out on the road.

I wish for pencil that won't break with an eraser that doesn't wear down.

Offline Cosmo_ac

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1039 on: September 19, 2008, 08:54:42 PM »
Granted, but the joker stole it and it's now burried in the skull of some black thug.

I wish i had a huge penis.

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1040 on: September 19, 2008, 08:58:26 PM »

Wish granted. You have a huge disembodied penis that follows you around and makes fun of you and tells people bad things about you.

I wish I had a helper monkey!

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1041 on: September 20, 2008, 09:14:32 AM »
Granted but he's as fat and lazy as you are and refuses to share his stolen donuts.

I wish I could run a business.

Offline Karnax

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1042 on: September 20, 2008, 01:58:37 PM »
Granted, but you run it right into the ground.

I wish I didn't have this cold.

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1043 on: September 20, 2008, 03:59:11 PM »
Wish granted you have the Ebola virus instead.

I wish for a steak sandwich.

Offline Relic

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1044 on: September 20, 2008, 05:57:23 PM »
Wish granted but you get wooden splinters in your teeth from the steak.
I wish I had a supercomputer.

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1045 on: September 20, 2008, 06:03:43 PM »
(Oh for God's sake people Steak food, stake vampire killing implement!)

Offline Kalen

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1046 on: September 20, 2008, 06:09:56 PM »
(I know.  Ugh)

Granted.  You get an oldschool Cray.  Now, you have to pay megabucks in electricity for less processing power than a five year old laptop. 

I wish I had a more comfortable chair!

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1047 on: September 20, 2008, 06:23:01 PM »
(I know.  Ugh)

Granted.  You get an oldschool Cray.  Now, you have to pay megabucks in electricity for less processing power than a five year old laptop. 

I wish I had a more comfortable chair!

Granted you get the iChair the worlds most comfy chair. However when you try to leave it it says, "I'm afraid I can't do that, Kalen." and decides to kill you.

I wish I had a new copy of Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater. My old one is played to hell.

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1048 on: September 20, 2008, 06:29:23 PM »
Granted, but this one has a copy of a virus on it and it destroys your console.

I wish I didn't eat that chili...

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1049 on: September 21, 2008, 09:27:37 PM »
Granted you have the other chili that gives you explosive diarrhea, and implosive diarrhea!
Ew...

I wish I had a steak sandwich! (Lets get it right this time people!)