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Author Topic: Perverted Wishes  (Read 89402 times)

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Offline Idej

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1000 on: September 14, 2008, 12:37:10 AM »
Granted, but the table saw was linked as a murder weapon and you are arrested by the cops as being the most likely suspect to kill said victim.  The Jury finds you guilty and you are put on death row.

I wish that I was the only man on Earth.  And that every woman is still alive.

Offline Vincent

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1001 on: September 14, 2008, 01:05:09 AM »
Granted. However, They soon discover how to reprouce scientifically and you are locked away in a tiny room to live out your days alone

I wish Monkeys could fly.

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1002 on: September 14, 2008, 08:29:40 AM »
Wish granted a mad scientist mixed monkeys with a large bird, unfortunately being a mad scientist and not just an angry one he also mixed them with piranha DNA. Monkeys can now fly but are also carnivorous. The world blames you for wishing for it.

I wish I could teach the world to sing.

Offline Vincent

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1003 on: September 14, 2008, 08:31:07 AM »
Wish granted a mad scientist mixed monkeys with a large bird, unfortunately being a mad scientist and not just an angry one he also mixed them with piranha DNA. Monkeys can now fly but are also carnivorous. The world blames you for wishing for it.

I wish I could teach the world to sing.

Granted, however none of them can sing on key, resulting in long hours of ear splitting agony.

I Wish chocolate grew on a tree.

Offline delle

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1004 on: September 14, 2008, 09:56:38 AM »
Wish granted. This results in many women learning how to climb trees. In turn, many accidents and neckaches ensue as men strain to look up the skirts of said women.

I wish I had the acrobatic skills of an Olympic gymnast.

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1005 on: September 14, 2008, 11:22:07 AM »
Granted, but now you're a 12 year old Chinese girl who is pretending to be 16 and you haven't seen your parents since you were 3.

I wish I had a new camera.

Offline Idej

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1006 on: September 14, 2008, 10:36:39 PM »
Granted, but it has been rigged to explode on the first shot.

I wish to witness the Apocalypse.

Offline Vincent

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1007 on: September 14, 2008, 10:48:38 PM »
Wish granted. congratulations.. you just ended the world.


I wish i had a pet cat.

Offline Idej

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1008 on: September 14, 2008, 10:51:12 PM »
Wish granted.  You now have a very hungry leopard to feed and he sees you as food.  Have fun.;)

I wish that I was the Grim Reaper.

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1009 on: September 15, 2008, 08:50:51 AM »
Granted but your first mission is to take the life of your one and only true love.

I wish the next poster turned into a chocolate statue.

Offline Kalen

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1010 on: September 15, 2008, 09:04:39 AM »
I do.  And you have to watch in jealousy as all of the lovely ladies of E consume me, taking my delicious essence into themselves, after which... nothing else compares.

I wish my migraine would stop

Offline delle

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1011 on: September 15, 2008, 09:08:55 AM »
Wish granted! And all it takes is this nice new piledriver and your willingness to place your head at the spot marked X :D

I wish I had D-cup boobs

Offline Kalen

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1012 on: September 15, 2008, 09:19:17 AM »
No sooner asked, than granted.  You get D-cup breasts... on your stomach.  On your hands.  On your cheeks... matter of fact, they seem to be popping out everywhere.

I wish I had a better attention span

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1013 on: September 15, 2008, 10:17:26 AM »
Granted, four seconds is slightly better than two.

I wish the next poster would buy me a coke.

Offline Idej

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1014 on: September 15, 2008, 12:43:59 PM »
Wish granted, I buy you a coke, but the coke is actually coccaine and you are arrested for possession of the drug as you suddenly forget who gave it to you in the first place.

I wish that the next poster would give me an unlimited supply of chocolate chip cookies.
« Last Edit: September 15, 2008, 12:45:33 PM by Idej »

Offline Bliss

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1015 on: September 15, 2008, 02:11:57 PM »
Granted; an unlimited supply of cookies is dumped onto you, load after load, untel you are crushed. Sweet, tasty death.


I wish I could erase someone completely from my life and social sphere.

Offline Kalen

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1016 on: September 15, 2008, 02:24:57 PM »
Done.  I cease to exist.

...

right after I post this wish.

I wish for peace, love and joy.

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1017 on: September 15, 2008, 05:32:02 PM »
Granted, but since you cease to exist, Peace, Love, and Joy perform their strip show for other men.

I wish somebody would call me.

Offline Laeori

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1018 on: September 15, 2008, 05:43:50 PM »
Granted, but it's the police letting you know that "Joy" was underage.  Having paid for Kalen's lap dance you are being fined and possibly arrested.

I wish I could take a vacation. 

Offline Revolverman

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1019 on: September 15, 2008, 05:48:45 PM »
Granted, but its to Baghdad

I wish I had something to drink

Offline Idej

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1020 on: September 15, 2008, 10:52:23 PM »
Granted, but the ice cubes in the drink are poisoned.  You are distracted by a lovely lady and by the time you get to your drink the ice is melted and when you drink it you die.

I wish for Bliss' previous wish to become undone.

Offline Revolverman

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1021 on: September 15, 2008, 10:54:05 PM »
granted, but all the bad things you did happen to you now

I wish I was fit

Offline Karnax

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1022 on: September 15, 2008, 11:36:54 PM »
Granted, unfortunately you now fit inside pickle jar.

I wish I was taller.

Offline Kalen

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1023 on: September 15, 2008, 11:38:38 PM »
Granted.  You're taller.  And you get a new userid.

I wish I could be heartless.

Offline Revolverman

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1024 on: September 15, 2008, 11:40:21 PM »
Granted: Your dead



I wish I had a Huge TV