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Author Topic: Perverted Wishes  (Read 89382 times)

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Online Inkidu

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1125 on: October 26, 2008, 09:10:14 PM »
Granted but they're the new Nike On-Fires and they mean it literally.

I wish I had a big chocolate chip cookie. (Seeing as bad things happen with doughnuts.)

Offline WifeHeather

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1126 on: November 15, 2008, 09:13:58 PM »
Granted, but the dough in the cookie was mixed with high amounts of poison!

I wish I could predict the future.

Offline mannik

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1127 on: November 15, 2008, 09:49:27 PM »
Granted, but when looking forward to your exotic African vacation you see your plane crash in a river. You will survive the crash but will killed in a vicious tug of war between a crocodile and a lion...then the plane takes off with you on it.

I wish I was a ninja

Offline QueenFracture

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1128 on: November 15, 2008, 10:08:10 PM »
Granted but you tend to forget your training as soon as you get into a fight with someone.

I wish my car was a transformer.

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1129 on: November 15, 2008, 10:16:14 PM »
Granted but you tend to forget your training as soon as you get into a fight with someone.

I wish my car was a transformer.
Granted but he sneezes and accidentally transforms with you inside him or her... it.

I wish I could render people incontinent at will.

Offline MusicNeverDies

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1130 on: November 23, 2008, 07:02:29 PM »
Granted, whenever you use the word 'will' anything in earshot will become incontinent. Including you.

I wish I could pause time and calm myself down before responding to anything.

Offline Atlus

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1131 on: November 23, 2008, 08:38:55 PM »
Granted. Now if you could just unpause time you'd be set.


I wish I didn't have to cook all the time.

Offline MusicNeverDies

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1132 on: November 23, 2008, 08:47:34 PM »
Granted, but it's because you get sent away to a foreign country and are only given badly prepared rations.

I wish I hadn't fallen so far behind in NaNoWrimo.

Offline Paradox

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1133 on: November 24, 2008, 02:25:45 PM »
Granted; you're almost finished, but it's all tripe.

I wish I hadn't outgrown video games. Sometimes I miss them.

Offline The Overlord

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1134 on: November 24, 2008, 05:26:56 PM »

Well, technically you really don't outgrow video games...that's just social bias telling you what to do, and you should listen to it a lot less.

Wish granted, but you're like Tom Hanks in Big.


I wish it was December 15th already so this fracking senior portfolio class would be over.  :( :(

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1135 on: November 24, 2008, 06:11:04 PM »
Well, technically you really don't outgrow video games...that's just social bias telling you what to do, and you should listen to it a lot less.

Wish granted, but you're like Tom Hanks in Big.


I wish it was December 15th already so this fracking senior portfolio class would be over.  :( :(

Granted. However, it's portfolio time, but a dog ate yours.

I wish I was an astronaut.

Offline Servant Girl

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1136 on: November 25, 2008, 02:23:03 PM »
Granted However you have Buzz Aldrin's haircut

 http://www.learningprep.org/lps%20studentgallery%2010_30/student_gallery9_30/explorer_webpage/adwebpage/images/Neil%20Armstrong.jpg

Oh and your space mission is faked in a studio!


I wish I had been more slutty when I was younger

Offline Paradox

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1137 on: November 25, 2008, 02:33:34 PM »
Granted, but in doing so, you contracted just about every sexually-transmitted disease known to man.

I wish rice krispies exploded when they popped.

Offline Ryven

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1138 on: November 25, 2008, 03:02:53 PM »
Granted, but the explosions turn out to be extremely non-lethal and benign. In fact, Kellogg's markets this new form of rice krispies, making billions of dollars off of the gimmick and cornering the breakfast cereal market.

I wish it was Dec. 13th of this year.

Offline Servant Girl

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1139 on: November 25, 2008, 03:10:48 PM »
It is, however somehow its a Friday and you're very, very unlucky.

I wish that no one replied to this post.

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1140 on: December 06, 2008, 02:22:39 PM »
I wish I had a legion of lethally cute bunnies to do my will!


Offline MusicNeverDies

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1141 on: December 06, 2008, 06:25:59 PM »
Granted, however Anya(Buffy the Vampire Slayer) sees them and kills them all... She knows better.

I wish I could see the results of my words before saying them.

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1142 on: December 07, 2008, 12:16:39 AM »
Wish granted. You now know every impact of every word you'll ever say but the implications drive you crazy and you're institutionalized. Straitjackets are warm though. :D

I wish I was the next president of the United States.
(Mwa ha ha ha...)

Offline Mordred

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1143 on: December 07, 2008, 12:41:57 AM »
I wish I could pause, rewind, fast forward... everything.

Offline Aeval

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1144 on: December 07, 2008, 09:24:21 AM »
You got your wish but you are stuck in an ever constant loop of rewind, fast forward everything and cannot ever get out!

I wish I would be approved here!

Offline The Great Triangle

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1145 on: December 08, 2008, 07:37:47 AM »
Granted.  *laughs maniacally*


I wish my pants spontaneously caught on fire every 35 seconds.

Offline Older And Wiser

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1146 on: December 08, 2008, 09:50:25 PM »
Granted, but you violate every fire code law ever written, so the fire depatment commits you to an asbestos lined room.

I wish I was a wizard.

Offline Avi

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1147 on: December 09, 2008, 12:22:18 AM »
Granted, but your massive amounts of power generated huge static shock discharges, rendering you untouchable for the rest of your life.

I wish I was a professional athlete.

Offline Transgirlenstein

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1148 on: December 09, 2008, 11:20:39 AM »
Granted but your soon after arrested for using steroids and imprisoned for 70 years.

I wish my student loans were all repaid.

Offline W3rid th1nker

perserse wishies
« Reply #1149 on: December 09, 2008, 12:37:01 PM »
granted but you are soon afterwards busted for tax evasion with conspires with low level mob bosses/drug dealers/and pimps you've racked up 3.5 milion in fines with consecutive life secnteces

i wsh i had someone care for me in an equal manner of that i show them ;D