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Author Topic: Perverted Wishes  (Read 89503 times)

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Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1075 on: October 08, 2008, 03:57:56 PM »
Granted you get turnips instead.

I wish Hulu.com had older Simpsons episodes on it.

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1076 on: October 08, 2008, 06:33:49 PM »
Granted you get turnips instead.

I wish Hulu.com had older Simpsons episodes on it.
(Me too.) Wish granted but they're too old and carved on stones. And those eat up bandwidth!

I wish I had a Coca-a-Cola.

Offline Bliss

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1077 on: October 08, 2008, 09:37:13 PM »
Granted, but it has a human phallus in it.

I wish I couls produce or eradicate healthy piercings at any locations of choice throughout my body by sheer force of will.

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1078 on: October 08, 2008, 10:00:37 PM »
Granted, but it has a human phallus in it.

I wish I couls produce or eradicate healthy piercings at any locations of choice throughout my body by sheer force of will.
Wish granted, but in experimentation you put twenty studs and loops in your pancreas and left lung, not to mention your duodenum. You die of blood loss.

I wish for a team of totally loyal killer, flying monkeys! :D

Offline Idej

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1079 on: October 08, 2008, 11:42:59 PM »
Granted, but they have short-term memory loss so they can not remember a single that you order for them to do unless you repeat it to them constantly so it becomes long-term memory.

I wish that I could be in command of the 501st Stormtrooper Legion.

Online Doomsday

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1080 on: October 09, 2008, 12:33:00 AM »
Granted. You are the new president of the 501st Stormtrooper's Veterans Legion. You sit around on your old butt all day remembering the olden days when you fought against Luke Skywalker and his pals.

Offline SinXAzgard21

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1081 on: October 09, 2008, 10:58:50 AM »
I wish I was an actual Sith Lord.

Offline Idej

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1082 on: October 09, 2008, 11:18:31 AM »
Granted, but as soon as you become one you are killed by your apprentice when he stabs in the head with a lightsaber.

I wish that I could be the Commander of the entire army of the Confederacy of Independent Systems(CIS), instead of General Grievous leading it.

Offline WyldRanger

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1083 on: October 09, 2008, 11:28:29 AM »
Granted, but as soon as you become one you are killed by your apprentice when he stabs in the head with a lightsaber.

I wish that I could be the Commander of the entire army of the Confederacy of Independent Systems(CIS), instead of General Grievous leading it.

Granted, but just like Grievous you meet and unsavory end that is entirely "uncivilized".

I wish I was a Jedi in the Old Republic era.

Offline Kalen

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1084 on: October 09, 2008, 11:37:38 AM »
Granted, but just like Grievous you meet and unsavory end that is entirely "uncivilized".

I wish I was a Jedi in the Old Republic era.


Granted.  You're now a figment of our imaginations, ignored by most and obsessed over by some.

I wish that my old verve for writing would return.

Offline Emmaline

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1085 on: October 09, 2008, 01:53:47 PM »
Granted. Your muse returns and you hole up in your room writing, only you forget your friends and family. All to write 'just one more page' That was weeks ago, you are unshaven, you smell and you have junk food wrappers and take out boxes piled around you.

I wish I knew how to play guitar



Offline Idej

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1086 on: October 09, 2008, 02:56:28 PM »
Granted, but you are now an expert in Guitar Hero.

I wish that I wasn't surrounded by idiots when I was in High School.

Offline MusicNeverDies

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1087 on: October 09, 2008, 03:20:22 PM »
Granted, but you're surrounded by idiots now.

I wish I could read course material faster.

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1088 on: October 09, 2008, 03:22:49 PM »
Wish granted. You can read faster but remember less. So you have to read it more times to get it down.

I wish I owned the supercollider.  

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1089 on: October 09, 2008, 07:50:21 PM »
Granted, but the feds nab you for having radioactive materials without the proper documentation.

I wish I didn't eat as much as I did tonight.

Offline MusicNeverDies

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1090 on: October 11, 2008, 11:46:47 AM »
Granted, you don't eat ever again. Sorry but you're now dead.

I wish I could type in multiple windows at once.

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1091 on: October 11, 2008, 08:53:47 PM »
Granted but as you do so that annoying paperclip help thing in word keeps popping up twice as much.

I wish my knees would stop hurting.

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1092 on: October 11, 2008, 10:06:46 PM »
Wish granted you're in a horrible mongoose wrangling accident and they gnaw off your legs. Everything below the thigh had to be amputated.

I wish I could give everyone in the world a swift kick in the rear, simultaneously.

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1093 on: October 12, 2008, 07:02:29 PM »
Granted, but several of those people have shotguns and are willing to use them...

I wish my pens won't run out of ink.

Offline shadowheart

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1094 on: October 12, 2008, 10:47:17 PM »
Granted, but they have sealed tips so they cannot be used to write.

I wish I could travel to a fantasy realm with real elves and all.

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1095 on: October 13, 2008, 04:01:42 PM »
Granted, but you're addicted to peyote.

I wish my stress toy won't break.

Offline WyldRanger

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1096 on: October 13, 2008, 04:48:37 PM »
Granted, but you end up using it all the time because you're entire existence depends on adding stress to everything.

I wish I lived closer to my friends.

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1097 on: October 14, 2008, 06:34:10 PM »
Wish granted. As some sick Halloween joke they sew themselves to you to make a strange Siamese freak-show. Now they're never far away.

I wish they allowed pets in my dormitory, I miss my cat...

Offline jstarz

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1098 on: October 15, 2008, 08:31:43 AM »
Granted but you're allergic to the dog that your roommate brings in.

I wish the scroll wheel on my mouse worked.

Offline OllieGarkey

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1099 on: October 15, 2008, 02:44:54 PM »
Wish granted, but you lose your hand in a freak gardening accident the next day, making the point moot.

I wish I didn't need more than 3 hours of sleep a night.