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Author Topic: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View  (Read 101622 times)

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Offline Remiel

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1300 on: September 06, 2016, 08:35:38 PM »
Caedy, I can certainly relate.  The past couple of months have seen me in a severe depression, to the point where every day is a struggle to get out of bed.

The thing about depression--the insidious, nasty thing about depression--is that it robs you of the will or energy to do exactly what you need to do to snap out of it.   Most normal people have a difficult time understanding this.    Depression is like a blood-sucking parasite that fastens itself to the back of your neck, except that, instead of sucking blood, it sucks away hope and joy.   It's like a small, ugly demon, perched on your shoulder, whispering in your ear that you're worthless, that you're ugly, that you're fat, that you're hopeless and unworthy of love.  And the language it uses is so convincing that you begin to believe it.

When you live with depression, you don't go out and try to make new friends because you don't think you deserve them.  You don't put in the effort to build relationships because the depression tells you it won't work, it will fail, that it will be a huge waste of time.  It stops you from considering the possibility that not every rejection is a complete repudiation of your worth and value as a person, and the possibility that, sometimes, the rejection isn't even about you at all.   You don't have motivation to improve because the future is so bleak.  Why try? it says.  You'll just screw it all up anyway.  And even if you don't, you'll never get any better.  You'll never improve.

I know that this isn't normal because, a couple of years ago, I was prescribed Adderall for my ADD, and in the brief, sunlit window when I'm on it, I feel confident.  I feel upbeat.  I feel positive about myself and my future, and willing and eager to put in the effort required to make positive changes happen.  It never lasts very long, but sometimes I wonder: is this how normal people feel like all the time?

But, like you, I have taken the first steps toward seeking professional help (although wrangling with my insurance company was like pulling teeth!)  I've only had the initial consultation so far, but it made me realize something: that, at the very least, I love myself enough to seek help.  At the very least, I love myself enough to put effort into trying anything I can to make things better.   That I'm not ready to give up yet, to throw in the towel.   

And this, I think, is very important.  It means: you're a fighter.  That you're fighting desperately to stay alive, that you're choosing life over death.   I don't think there should be any shame in asking for help, in admitting to the world that you're not perfect, that sometimes all you want to do is stay huddled up in bed all day and cry.  I don't understand why there's a sort of stigma attached to this any more than there should be a stigma for living with, say, diabetes or epilepsy.    Ultimately, at the end of the day, we're doing the best we can with what we've got.

My name is Remiel, and I suffer from depression.

Online Verasaille

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1301 on: September 06, 2016, 09:14:17 PM »
Lots of hugs for all of you. The depression I suffer from is not nearly as bad as any of you. But it is there.

Sometimes I feel like my life is worthless and I have nothing to look forward to. I am an old lady, single and living alone with my cat. Pathetic and sad, isn't it? But I have lived my life the way I wanted to and I have only myself to blame for being alone at the present time.

So I write, and role play and get involved in online games and sometimes I get so intense on a project I forget to eat or sleep. I often stay up until four in the morning playing mindless games, because I cannot sleep.

My only entertainment that keeps me head above water is the stories I write with people. I am so blessed to have found this site and all the marvelous writers here. I can let me imagination run crazy and laugh and cry and enjoy the illusion of loving someone. That is all it ever will be from now on. An illusion that someone cares, even if they do not know me in person.

Offline Sofia Grace

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1302 on: September 06, 2016, 09:44:41 PM »
Caedy, I can certainly relate.  The past couple of months have seen me in a severe depression, to the point where every day is a struggle to get out of bed.

The thing about depression--the insidious, nasty thing about depression--is that it robs you of the will or energy to do exactly what you need to do to snap out of it.   Most normal people have a difficult time understanding this.    Depression is like a blood-sucking parasite that fastens itself to the back of your neck, except that, instead of sucking blood, it sucks away hope and joy.   It's like a small, ugly demon, perched on your shoulder, whispering in your ear that you're worthless, that you're ugly, that you're fat, that you're hopeless and unworthy of love.  And the language it uses is so convincing that you begin to believe it.

When you live with depression, you don't go out and try to make new friends because you don't think you deserve them.  You don't put in the effort to build relationships because the depression tells you it won't work, it will fail, that it will be a huge waste of time.  It stops you from considering the possibility that not every rejection is a complete repudiation of your worth and value as a person, and the possibility that, sometimes, the rejection isn't even about you at all.   You don't have motivation to improve because the future is so bleak.  Why try? it says.  You'll just screw it all up anyway.  And even if you don't, you'll never get any better.  You'll never improve.

I know that this isn't normal because, a couple of years ago, I was prescribed Adderall for my ADD, and in the brief, sunlit window when I'm on it, I feel confident.  I feel upbeat.  I feel positive about myself and my future, and willing and eager to put in the effort required to make positive changes happen.  It never lasts very long, but sometimes I wonder: is this how normal people feel like all the time?

But, like you, I have taken the first steps toward seeking professional help (although wrangling with my insurance company was like pulling teeth!)  I've only had the initial consultation so far, but it made me realize something: that, at the very least, I love myself enough to seek help.  At the very least, I love myself enough to put effort into trying anything I can to make things better.   That I'm not ready to give up yet, to throw in the towel.   

And this, I think, is very important.  It means: you're a fighter.  That you're fighting desperately to stay alive, that you're choosing life over death.   I don't think there should be any shame in asking for help, in admitting to the world that you're not perfect, that sometimes all you want to do is stay huddled up in bed all day and cry.  I don't understand why there's a sort of stigma attached to this any more than there should be a stigma for living with, say, diabetes or epilepsy.    Ultimately, at the end of the day, we're doing the best we can with what we've got.

My name is Remiel, and I suffer from depression.
I'm so glad you're hooked up with a therapist and that you pushed through the pulling-teeth phase in order to get there.  You're worth it.
Love, hugs, and snugglebugs.
snugs

Offline Xandi

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1303 on: September 07, 2016, 03:54:12 AM »
I feel for all of you in this thread. I think we all share something in common and that is, What is normal? Does it even exist? I think, through therapy, that what is normal for one person is not normal for another. My normal is being able to get out of bed and try and be useful each day. That is about as much as I can hope for and I struggle to accept that when I see so many other people, people older than me, that go to work and enjoy work relationships. They enjoy so much more of life than I can and do. I hate to admit it but sometimes I am jealous and envious of those people. Not so much that I don't want them to enjoy what they can do. But it is there and it nags at me. It makes me feel unworthy, unlovable, useless and with those feelings comes the thought that maybe my life is done. Maybe it is time to say bye and be done with it and start over on the other side. I know those thoughts and feelings are not healthy but they are there from time to time.

I think what hurts me the most, friends. Friends who get more and more distant. They try to understand but they don't and then it is days and weeks, and eventually months and years between....Hellos. That hurts. Inside it sometimes feels like I don't want any friends because what is the point? They will fade into another distant memory with all the others that have forgotten me. Then they will become another memory that haunts me. They will become another memory that, HURTS me. 

I shouldn't post this it is to dark. But something Remiel said makes me feel like it might be okay, "This is a safe place to share."

Let me clarify, I am not suicidal right now. I am not trying to be emo. This is not a plea for help. Just wanted to share in case others might feel the same they would know they aren't alone.

*puts on her mask of happy*

I want to leave hugs for you all. *hugs and positive thoughts*


Offline Remiel

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1304 on: September 07, 2016, 11:48:30 AM »
This is indeed a safe place to share, Xandi.   Thank you for sharing.  I'm sorry you feel that way, and I empathize.  *hugs*

Offline Sybl

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1305 on: September 07, 2016, 04:08:04 PM »
It has been a long time since I posted here. I don't know what to say really that hasn't been already said. P.T.S.D, yes, got it, old age and bad health yes, got that too. One friend in the town I live in, who is worse health wise than me. The things in life I never wanted to lose was sense of humor, walking and my sight. Two have been taken away by constant illness and old injuries. Sense of humor and now walking. I get my power wheelchair next week. One of my Facebook friends told me "I got this" Yes, I do.

People who used to be my friends have promised to stay in contact, but they don't. Living alone and being lonely is the worst emptiness a person can have. I relate to many here, yet I stay away because I have lost my hope and I don't have a muse to write any more. I am just a sad bag of bones.

Sybl

Offline Remiel

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1306 on: September 07, 2016, 05:14:50 PM »
I'm sorry, Sybl.  I wish there was something I could do to help. *hugs*

Offline Xandi

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1307 on: September 08, 2016, 01:45:46 AM »
*Leaves hugs for all*

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1308 on: September 10, 2016, 12:31:16 PM »
I just wanted to say that I think you are all beautiful and wonderful people despite what the depression has you believing at different times. I see strength in all of you. You all deserve happiness and love in your lives <3 ~hugs~

Offline Remiel

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1309 on: September 11, 2016, 02:58:36 PM »
"Laugh, and the world laughs with you.  Weep, and you weep alone."

From a movie I saw recently.   There's a lot of truth to that.

Online Verasaille

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1310 on: September 11, 2016, 03:16:17 PM »
Actually, I find that I weep with people who weep. Too empathetic, I guess. It has always been a problem when I go to the movies. I cry at the slightest bit of pain, emotional or physical, being inflicted on someone. Even if it is the despicable monsters!

But to believe that no one weeps with you when you cry is very sad. (offers hugs)

Offline Oniya

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1311 on: September 11, 2016, 04:21:38 PM »
There are a couple of ways to see that line - some of them more poignant than others.  Weeping is one of those things where many times people avoid you, or you avoid people, or (except in fairly unusual circumstances) they simply can't share the same experience.    They may be weeping in the same room, for their own reasons (even possibly because they feel bad that you feel bad), but you are each still weeping 'alone'.

Offline Xandi

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1312 on: September 12, 2016, 04:38:27 AM »
I hate crying. I do it alone, if possible. It makes me incredibly mad to let people see me cry. I guess that comes from years of an abusive relationship where I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. Also it served me well in some of my jobs. If people can see they hurt you on an emotional/mental level it gives them an advantage. I'm not the kind of person, again after years of abuse, to give someone an advantage over me. It also holds me back in personal relationships, this I know, but I can't seem to break it now. Which at this point I don't want to.

All of your points are completely valid and I am just giving my personal example of weeping alone.

*hugs to all*

Offline Mintprincess

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1313 on: September 12, 2016, 12:23:33 PM »
"Laugh, and the world laughs with you.  Weep, and you weep alone."

From a movie I saw recently.   There's a lot of truth to that.
I've always heard it as
"Smile and the world smiles with you. Frown and you frown alone."

But I think it is generally true.  While we are emphathetic creatures and others sadness and pain can resonate with us, pulling us in to be there for them, there is a limit to the amount most people can handle.  When you are sad over a specific incident someone may be able to share that with you, but sadness that occurs over and over becomes something that others do tend to move away from.  It's exhausting emotionally to handle someone else's emotions with your own all the time when those emotions don't lift (the laugh or smile). 

I think everyone made some great points too. 

« Last Edit: September 12, 2016, 12:25:40 PM by Mintprincess »

Online Oreo

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1314 on: September 12, 2016, 12:39:31 PM »
I hate crying. I do it alone, if possible. It makes me incredibly mad to let people see me cry. I guess that comes from years of an abusive relationship where I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. Also it served me well in some of my jobs. If people can see they hurt you on an emotional/mental level it gives them an advantage. I'm not the kind of person, again after years of abuse, to give someone an advantage over me. It also holds me back in personal relationships, this I know, but I can't seem to break it now. Which at this point I don't want to.

All of your points are completely valid and I am just giving my personal example of weeping alone.

*hugs to all*

I am exactly the same for the same reasons. The only time I cry openly is for someone else experiencing pain, or dealing with death.

Offline Beautiful Mystery

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1315 on: September 12, 2016, 10:16:31 PM »
So I have checked this thread from time to time, reading the various stories that people have posted, reading their advice and the likes. Why am I posting this? To be honest, I am not really sure. Perhaps maybe to get it off my chest or maybe help someone else. I am not looking for a pity party or to have people say "aww you poor thing!" I am writing this in hopes that perhaps I connect with someone or perhaps make them feel like they are not alone. I really won't know until I finally hit submit.

I have suffered/battled with depression for most of my life. And I am trying not to exaggerate here. Although I am pretty sure a child psychologist isn't going to go around diagnosing kids with depression like the way Oprah gives away a car. You get depression, you get depression, everyone gets depression! (Yes, that is my lame attempt to get a chuckle out of someone) I honestly don't remember much of the appointments I had with a psychologist when I was younger. I was probably 8 or 9, upwards of 10 or 11 maybe (again, I really cannot remember). I do remember the woman would allow me to pick a board game to play at the end of each session. I really don't remember much more than that.

I put most of my history/background information in a spoiler for those who do want to read. Trust me, it is long so I wanted to leave the more general/relevant parts for anyone to see.

Spoiler: Click to Show/Hide
Those sessions were roughly around the time that I was diagnosed with ADD. I saw a psychiatrist for them to properly diagnose me at that time. I wasn't "bored" or anything of the sort, I had terrible time keeping focused. I also would get so overwhelmed/stressed out that I broke out in hives all over my body. At this point in my life, I had just moved from one state to another. I moved into an area of this state that was very affluent. As well, the school system was very good. Not only did I have ADD but I also had (still have) dyslexia and dysgraphia. In my previous school, I was never stupid. I hit all of the same milestones as other kids I just seemed to not understand stuff as well. Perhaps a tad slow but nothing out of the ordinary it seemed. In my new school? I was put into special ed classes. I felt so stupid because I had to go to extra special ed classes (still went to the regular classes though) and none of my friends had to. In fact, I knew people who were in the "accelerated" program and I wanted to be like them. I wanted to be thought of smart rather than stupid. I inherently felt left out/judged because I was in what I deemed "stupid classes." I went onto Adderall and successfully brought my grades up from C and D to A and B. I no longer got hives, I could read without stressing myself out (as much) and things seemed to improve. Yay for school improving!

But the social aspect was a whole other thing. As I mentioned before, it was an affluent (almost strictly white) area. Most of the kids at my school had parents who were doctors/lawyers/CEO's...well you get the point. Most people lived in homes that were large (anywhere from 3000 square feet up to mansions) and most kids were able to get whatever they wanted. This meant that most kids my age (9,10,11) had a PS2 when it first came out or within a year or so. We had our own desktop computers, our own "play rooms" (a separate room in the home for just our toys) and so on and so forth. This also meant that a lot of people were judged by what they had. Yes, even at that age we learned to judge. We would brag about how big our homes were, what we had and where we lived. Being an only child in a well off middle class family, I too had some of these things. And I would brag to my friends because well, that was the "thing" to do. After all, I wanted to be the popular girl in my grade and have everyone like me! (Again, I am not sure about others but I learned at a very early age about popularity) This also created very toxic friendships in my life. This was the main reason for my depression from about 3rd-4th grade on. I had parents who loved me so I never had issues at home. But my friends at school could be incredibly vicious. (I went to one school for 3rd grade, another for 4th and 5th and went back to the first school for 6th grade. All of this was still Elementary school)

I was never popular. Sure I had friends, but they were users. They would barely talk to me at school, going to their "cooler" friends at school. Sure, I ate with friends at lunch but I always felt out of the loop. On the weekends? I was suddenly cool enough to hang out with. My friends couldn't be bothered to hang out with me at school (much less even talk to me for that matter) but the weekends it was suddenly cool since I was the only one around. All of my friends were my friends for the wrong reasons. They only cared about having something to do on the weekend or perhaps seeing what they could get from me. I had a lot of toys and a nice house so it made sense that people would want to come over. But I also had selfish friends who wanted everything about them. Hell, on my 11th birthday party, my "friend" tried to turn everyone against me...at my own party.

Then came middle school. I once again moved back to the previous state where I had done Kindergarten through 2nd grade. My parents had found a home and came back to tell me "Oh the girl across the street is so nice! She is a year younger but I can see you becoming great friends with her!" To which I replied: "What if she is like everyone else? Who will be mean to me even though we are friends." I was skeptical of making friends at age 12. I was going to middle school with no friends, in a new state where the people I did know went to other schools. I made friends with the girl on my street who was in my grade. Which in turn made the other girl upset because I came in. Cue her being nasty to me. The girl I became friends with (who I considered my best friend) introduced me to some of her friends. I became close to some of them but I was rather shy at that point in my life. I wasn't good at making friends in class by going up and just sparking up a conversation. So I became friends with the girl on my street and some of her friends. And I soon found out they only liked me because they thought I was "rich." (Again, I was still middle class. But being an only child, it seems as though we were rich since I got nice stuff.) And suddenly I was left out of stuff. My "best friend" would make plans for sleepovers right in front of me. But never invite me. She would plan to hang out with our friends in front of me, but not include me. It was a perpetual cycle of her making plans in front of me and not inviting me. And being very shy, I was not assertive enough to ask to be a part of the plans. I did ask a few times but I was shot down or the plans would suddenly "change" as the date got closer. Meaning I somehow was once again, left out. My "friends" would throw me under the bus if given the chance (and they did more than a few times).

It was also the first time I was singled out for being white. Coming from the previous area that was almost strictly white, it was a shock to say the least. I could care less about the skin color of my friend. Why does that matter? But there was a few mentions of "Well it is just because you are white..." as if that was somehow a disadvantage. Middle school was also the time when I had guys picking on me. They were guys who lived on my street (one was the male twin of my best friend) so the teasing happened outside of school mostly. It was comments of I was ugly. My nose was too big, I looked like Pinocchio. My ears were huge, just like Dumbo. I was fat. I was so fat in fact that I caused Hurricane Katrina when I stepped. I was Godzilla and when I got blonde highlights in my hair, I was now Blondezilla. I have never been a size 0 and I never will be skinny. I developed at an early age and I always had curves. As well, I swam and did softball so I had muscles. But I was at a normal weight when these comments came in. As if there isn't enough things to be self-conscious of at that age.

High school. I kept the same friends I had in middle school because I was still so shy. I had issues making eye contact with people and while I was outgoing with my friends, I was shy to new people. Sure, I talked to people in my classes and kind of got "friendly" but we never hung out after school. The bullying/name calling with the boys stopped but the friends continued to get worse. It became evident that they only wanted me around because I could probably buy them like an iPod for their birthday or things like that. I heard more than a few times them talking behind my back, claiming how "annoying" I was and the likes. Mind you, these are people I considered to be my best friends. I would bottle up a lot of the little jabs they threw my way, the comments they made and the way they made me feel. But a few times, the bottle would shatter and I would tell them how annoyed/frustrated I was with them. (Perhaps it was a little more than just telling but I never yelled or anything) Which lead to them claiming how much of a bitch I was and then turning everyone against me until I came crawling back with an apology. Two girls I eventually gave up on. They suddenly got mad for some reason and I was in no mood to go groveling back when I had no idea what was wrong. Halfway through my senior year, I was going to move to a different town (only about a 15 minute drive for me, still in the same school.) My best friend had always gotten rides from me to school every day and some days home. (She never thanked me, never offered to pay for gas, it was more or less something that was "expected" of me because we were friends and I allowed them to walk all over me.) When I mentioned I could no longer give her a ride because it was out of my way? Poof. Never heard from her again. So I was left with no friends my senior year, only the school friends I would talk to in class. I got to the point where I was done groveling and I didn't look back. During this entire time, my depression was always there. I would come home to my mother most days, crying about how once again my friends treated me. There even got points where I had bottled up so much that I would almost have a semi-mental break down at points. I would just be crying, unable keep myself in check and I would be so mentally exhausted that I couldn't do anything for the day. I would never admit this to my parents but there was more than several times where I honestly contemplated suicide. And if my parents hadn't been there and so supportive, I honestly wouldn't be sitting here typing this out.

In college, I had hoped that things would change. That the girls would be mature and not backstabbers like all my previous friends. In the back of my mind, I worried that history would repeat. And sure enough, it did. The girls I roomed with acted the same way, even if they started off fantastic (like all my previous friendships). This has lead me to the point where I am today. Where I really want a friend but I just cannot bring myself to let anyone in close because I am afraid it will again end in disaster. Online friends have somehow been easier but there is a big difference from someone online and someone in real life. It is perhaps why I sink so much time onto online is I don't have friends in real life. And this certainly does not help my depression in any way, shape or form.


Depression has been a part of my life for a long time but it took me even longer to even admit it. Sure, people get depressed with a loved one dies, they are failing school or stuff like that. But trying to tell yourself that there is a problem with yourself? I just couldn't. I never saw it as "well it is probably a chemical imbalance" or anything like that. I looked at myself as I cannot even control my emotions properly. I think I honestly never accepted I struggled with depression until maybe 3-4 years ago. Because those high points make you forget the low points. And in those high points, life is fine. It is when you are stuck deep in one of the ruts that you just struggle to even do anything.

Accepting that I needed medicine for the rest of my life however...that has not come so easily. Finally admitting that you struggle with depression is a big step and one that I could finally take. But accepting the fact that I need medicine was something I just wasn't ready to accept. I had been on and off medicine since I was in high school so it wasn't a stranger to me, but it was never very long term. "I mean, who the hell cannot control their emotions?" Is what I always told myself. I felt like such a failure because everyone else can control their emotions and I just apparently sucked at that too. Again, I never looked at it as I had a chemical imbalance or that there was a legit physiological reason for being depressed. Perhaps it goes back to being diagnosed with ADD and not wanting people to look at me like I am a loser. My mom would always say "Well it is just like people who have diabetes and require insulin for the rest of their lives." but it never helped. I never saw depression as a disease or anything long term. I always figured that I would merely get over it at one point in my life. Whenever I told people about the medicine I took (besides doctors), I would always claim that my antidepressant was for anxiety. To some extent, it was slightly correct. But I felt more comfortable telling people I had anxiety than saying I had depression. Why? I think I felt stupid for being depressed because most people weren't depressed. Most people didn't have the same issues. But somehow I thought anxiety was more relatable? Less...stupid? Perhaps people could understand anxiety more than depression. Maybe it is the social stigma associated with depression. Who knows. But I cannot even count the posts people have made where someone has said "Well you look fine so you are not depressed" or "Well you are always smiling so you cannot be depressed." or "Your life is fine, why are you complaining? Why are you depressed?"

People only see the surface; what we project. And I know I am not the only one who knows how well a depressed person can project an image of being fine. Some say it is like wearing a mask. That we put on our "happy" mask for others when inside we are nothing but sad. But one of the most annoying things is the people who just don't understand but still judge. Who assume that we must be making it up for attention. Or we are just whiners. Or we are losers who cannot control our emotions. Whatever they believe, they just honestly cannot understand the struggles we go through. As others have mentioned, depression is life sucking. Soul consuming. And one of the worse parts? It is our minds doing it to us. It is not something super simple as saying "Well you broke your foot, you cannot walk." It isn't just obvious to everyone and it is not something we can physically show people.

I am glad to see that there are people here who feel free to share this. And I think the biggest thing is that we are not alone. Reading just this thread, I can relate to many posts of how people are feeling. So while every depression isn't identical, it sounds like a lot of us have gone through some similar things. I probably rambled way too much and I am not even sure if this will help anyone. I guess one of my biggest points for writing this was the fact that it took me a long time to admit that I struggled for depression and that I needed medicine to help me. I still occasionally struggle with both parts myself and I am not sure if I will ever come to terms. But I will continue to work on it.

Online marauder13

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1316 on: September 12, 2016, 10:59:00 PM »
I visit this thread regularly, since I have been diagnosed with depression, and my wife also suffers from chronic depression.

But there is one thing that I always take away from this thread when someone shares what they are experiencing.

Their Strength.

Each person who has taken the time to share a little, or a lot, about themselves, has an enormous amount of strength which they use to get through the day. That shows me that I have it too, and I can get through the day too. Each one of you inspires me every time I come here, and I can't thank you all enough for that. One day soon, I am going to return the favour in kind, share something about myself, and hopefully show someone something that will help them in some positive way.

Offline Remiel

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1317 on: September 13, 2016, 12:18:57 AM »
I think the best thing about this thread--the reason I am proud to display the green monster in my signature--is that we can share stories and personal observations without fear of being judged.  That we can feel safe to take the masks off, as Beautiful Mystery said.    That we realize that other people are going through what we're going through and that we're not alone.

Online Verasaille

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1318 on: September 13, 2016, 03:10:40 AM »
May I leave a song for you all?


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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1319 on: September 13, 2016, 04:00:24 AM »
I wanted to thank you everyone for sharing. It is always so helpful when dealing with my daily struggle to read your stories. Thank you. Not being alone is sometimes the only thing that gets me through. *hugs*

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1320 on: September 13, 2016, 02:26:14 PM »
I think I've been dealing with it for the last...oh...four years or so?  Maybe I've always been dealing with it and it's just the last four years where I might be introspective enough or wise enough to know that...yeah...I'm like...right in it.

Anyway; all the people that post here help me tremendously.  The bravery you people show in facing it head on and actually dealing with it is incredibly inspirational.


As for me...I'm just swarmed at work. (Just too complicated to even bother getting into it.)

I also volunteer and due to some political drama at the local fire department I have been filling in as the deputy chief for the last...five weeks now.  So it's like I take the anxiety and helplessness and lack of control I am feeling and simply bury it all under deadlines, percentage points and reinforcing standard operating guidelines at the fire department.  Eventually it just pounds me flat and I don't know what to do any longer so I crash for about 48 hours and then repeat.

...clearly I need a better plan of attack/coping with this.

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1321 on: September 14, 2016, 01:20:08 PM »
I think the best thing about this thread--the reason I am proud to display the green monster in my signature--is that we can share stories and personal observations without fear of being judged.  That we can feel safe to take the masks off, as Beautiful Mystery said.    That we realize that other people are going through what we're going through and that we're not alone.

This ^^ I am so pleased that this is the way it was taken. It always amazes me at the strength and willingness to share their experiences people have had here since the blog began. The support everyone has given has been wonderful, it has helped me to feel less alone at the low points and allowed me, at my high points, to give back and lend some support to others. You are all truly amazing <3

~leaves hugs for all~

Anyway; all the people that post here help me tremendously.  The bravery you people show in facing it head on and actually dealing with it is incredibly inspirational.

I think you're brave too, Praxis. It's not an easy thing to deal with, I think we all just have to take it one day at a time and be kind to ourselves where possible.

Offline lovelylilT

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1322 on: September 15, 2016, 07:20:24 PM »
That's very wonderful news Caedy, I'm very happy for you.

My love for everyone, who deals with depression. I know it's not easy, for anyone.

My hugs, for those who need it. And my smiles, for hoping each day's gets better, and brighter.

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1323 on: September 16, 2016, 02:51:17 AM »
I really loved this and hope you don't mind me sharing it here:

(Click on the image to make it larger)


Offline Remiel

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1324 on: September 29, 2016, 05:34:42 PM »
Heard a nugget of advice while at a support group and thought I'd pass it on.  I have it written down on a notepad and taped to my computer monitor so I see it every day.


"TO BE HAPPY, ONE MUST:
LET GO OF WHAT IS GONE,
BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT REMAINS, AND
LOOK FORWARD TO WHAT'S COMING NEXT."