You are either not logged in or not registered with our community. Click here to register.
 
December 04, 2016, 06:43:37 PM

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length

Click here if you are having problems.
Default Wide Screen Beige Lilac Rainbow Black & Blue October Send us your theme!

Hark!  The Herald!
Holiday Issue 2016

Wiki Blogs Dicebot

Author Topic: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View  (Read 101573 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1200 on: March 07, 2016, 08:25:08 AM »
~just offers CrownedSun some hugs~

It always feels a little weird saying 'welcome to the depression blog, it's nice to see you' because I really wish people didn't have to deal with it in the first place. That said, thank you for posting and saying hello. Welcome to E!  :-)

Online CrownedSun

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1201 on: March 07, 2016, 08:31:23 AM »
For the record, I very much appreciate being welcomed to the depression blog. <3

I've actually been dealing with this on overcharge lately. Since, in addition to dealing with Clinical Depression since I was 14, I've recently lost the man who raised me. My grandfather (the only man in my life who is worthy of being called my Father) passed away on December 29th, 2015, at the age of 84... and let's just say that last year was very very difficult.. It's been very hard for me and my grandmother.

In some ways its been a new lease on life, since I'm needed and have had to step up in a lot of ways, but there's definitely been hard times too and I'm definitely not done with the grieving process yet.

Thank you very much for making this, though, I can't imagine posting something like this myself.

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1202 on: March 07, 2016, 08:44:58 AM »
In that case, welcome to the depression blog!   ;D

I'm really sorry to hear about your grandfather. Grief is one of those strange things, you never know how it's going to affect you or how long it will last. All you can do is work through it at your own pace and be kind to yourself through the process. My grandmother died last month, it was her funeral last week, so believe me, I get it.

Online CrownedSun

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1203 on: March 07, 2016, 09:12:45 AM »
Yeah, I know, I keep having these moments where I think I'm okay again,-- then something happens, I'm reminded of him and how he's gone forever, and it just... hurts all over again. It really really sucks. Heh. It's put me through a lot of real low slumps, too, where I feel like shit for a couple of hours or a day or two.

If I didn't have to keep it together for my family, I dunno how bad I'd be.

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1204 on: March 07, 2016, 09:46:38 AM »
Then it's a blessing that you have your family around you as well. It will be ok, I know it doesn't feel like it at times but it will. You are stronger than you think.

Online Verasaille

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1205 on: March 07, 2016, 12:22:16 PM »
I found this little tidbit while searching for another quote, and I thought I would share:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/af/3b/33/af3b33fb33868b97b127a0adcfe534d1.jpg

Online CrownedSun

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1206 on: March 07, 2016, 10:31:56 PM »
I found this little tidbit while searching for another quote, and I thought I would share: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/af/3b/33/af3b33fb33868b97b127a0adcfe534d1.jpg

That was beautiful. <3 <3

:D

On the other subject, I think writing... the completely messed up horrible horrible thoughts that were running through my head earlier actually helped me. I was starting to sink down into another bleak episode, without even realizing it, and getting that all out in words,-- looking at it, feeling shame that I was capable of thinking it, rejecting it,-- I think that helped snap me out of it before it really got started.

I certainly feel a lot better and recognize what I'd written as messed up lies that doesn't reflect my actual thoughts and feelings. So yaaay.  O:)

Online Oniya

  • StoreHouse of Useless Trivia
  • Oracle
  • Carnite
  • *
  • Join Date: Sep 2008
  • Location: Just bouncing through. Hi! City of Roses, Pennsylvania
  • Gender: Female
  • One bad Motokifuka. Also cute and FLUFFY!
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 3
Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1207 on: March 07, 2016, 11:09:10 PM »
That's wonderful, Crowned Sun!  Some people I know will write down things in their life that they want gone and symbolically destroy the paper.  Tear it up, burn it (outside, away from any fire hazards!), even just take a big old sharpie marker and black out the words.

Offline kakihara

  • A wolf remains a wolf, even if it has not eaten your sheep.
  • Lord
  • Seducer
  • *
  • Join Date: Aug 2006
  • Location: On the other side of the mirror... waiting.
  • Gender: Male
  • It's all in the reflexes.
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 0
Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1208 on: March 07, 2016, 11:17:29 PM »
I have to agree with you CrownedSun.  I think writing, weather it's journalism or fiction, is good for both grieving and depression, though on the depression side I supposed it could add to it depending.  I know when I was younger, many eons ago, I had some severe depression and self hatred.  I won't go into it all here but writing out some dark scenes, especially a few suicides, helped me purge the urge to try again anything stupid.  And when my father passed away, well, we were not on good terms having had a fight not too long before he ended up in the hospital.  I did get to say goodbye but the way I could be, perhaps justified because of our past, really messed up the grieving process for me.  And writing about it did help, especially purging some very dark fiction.  I still use my darker stuff to work out those anger issues and other parts of my personality that need that outlet.

Well, I wrote more than I really intended.  Sorry, don't want to clog up the blog Verasaille just wanted to put my agreement on the issue out there.

Offline Xandi

  • HUGS from the Queen of Hugs.....Hugs
  • Dame
  • Addict
  • *
  • Join Date: Jul 2009
  • Location: In Xandiland where everyone is respectful or they get their head chopped off.
  • Gender: Female
  • Light dispels darkness, Widsom dispels ignorance
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 1
Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1209 on: March 08, 2016, 02:29:54 AM »
All I can say is thank you all for sharing your struggles and success here. Each day is another success and one to be proud of. Thank you again.

*In true Xandi style......litters the thread with hugs for anyone who would like them*

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1210 on: March 08, 2016, 02:56:10 AM »
I certainly feel a lot better and recognize what I'd written as messed up lies that doesn't reflect my actual thoughts and feelings. So yaaay.  O:)

I'm so pleased to hear that, CrownedSun! I find writing and journalling really good for exactly that. I can get all the poison out of mind and when I look back on it a little later I can see it for what it really is. Writing it down helps me to get it out so that it's not continually festering in my mind.

That's wonderful, Crowned Sun!  Some people I know will write down things in their life that they want gone and symbolically destroy the paper.  Tear it up, burn it (outside, away from any fire hazards!), even just take a big old sharpie marker and black out the words.

This is also a really good idea that I use if I don't want to keep the writing. If I don't destroy the paper entirely I create art over the top of it  ;)

Well, I wrote more than I really intended.  Sorry, don't want to clog up the blog

Write as much as you want, your thoughts and agreement are definitely not clogging up the blog  :-)


Online CrownedSun

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1211 on: March 08, 2016, 08:48:36 PM »
That's wonderful, Crowned Sun!  Some people I know will write down things in their life that they want gone and symbolically destroy the paper.  Tear it up, burn it (outside, away from any fire hazards!), even just take a big old sharpie marker and black out the words.

I'm usually not one to tear stuff up or burn it, honestly,-- though I've been known to stuff crap on some abandoned corner of my HDD, forget it ever existed, and then eventually the HDD gets replaced and that file is never backed up.

Same general effect, just takes longer, and I have the thing in question until then. ;)

Well, I wrote more than I really intended.  Sorry, don't want to clog up the blog Verasaille just wanted to put my agreement on the issue out there.

No, thank you for sharing. :D

I'm so pleased to hear that, CrownedSun! I find writing and journalling really good for exactly that. I can get all the poison out of mind and when I look back on it a little later I can see it for what it really is. Writing it down helps me to get it out so that it's not continually festering in my mind.

Exactly. Reading that, knowing that I'd wrote it, I just rejected it so hard. Today, it almost feels like someone else wrote it. Though, had a bit of a tiny flash of depression this afternoon, when I was at the Lawyer's office with my gramma and was politely asked to leave when they went over her will. I mean, get why, it makes sense. But, yeah, still hurt a little bit. Especially since I knew they were talking about me, heh.

Offline Karasu

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1212 on: March 09, 2016, 02:17:41 AM »
I am really glad I found my fiance.. While I am still depressed, the way he makes me laugh just brightens my day, even when we argue.. While I got to experience the horrors of being homeless back late last year I was surprised that I didn't fall into that deep well of depression, I figured I would have.

I kind of started doing what some others here are doing.. Writing it down, and putting it deep into some long forgotton corner and never back it up, I've also thrown myself into my roleplaying more to let out that creative aspects that keeps my depression down.. Combine all that with my fiance, and I'm about the happiest I've ever been even though I am so far away from my family for the second time..

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1213 on: March 10, 2016, 04:55:05 AM »
That's great to hear, Karasu! I hope that your happiness continues!


Offline Karasu

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1214 on: March 10, 2016, 11:33:46 AM »
Thank you kindly Rhedyn! ^^

Offline Kurzyk

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1215 on: March 19, 2016, 09:25:14 AM »
One of the toughest things about living with someone that has depression, is when that dark cloud hits, there's nothing I can do to pull them out of it and then I get pulled into it. Especially with my 92yr old dad, who wants nothing more than to lie in bed and never get out. The risk of losing his muscles is very high and I try desperately to keep him up and about, walking around. But there are days when he just wants to lie there. It's so hard and frustrating for me, knowing that his muscles will atrophy the longer he lays in bed, and as much as I try to pep him up, get his spirits up, when he's down he's down.

So far we've been able to negotiate only lying for a few hours a day then being active. At least he's active a little each day. Our latest initiative is doing things together. I've noticed his spirit and energy is better when we do things together, and as much as he's glum at not being able to do as much on his own, we have that. I figure it's easier to want to stay up and moving if there's a reason to. So we go to our favorite restaurants, movies, and walks to the park. We have still meds we're exploring and they've helped a little bit. But in the end we just have each other, and that's all I can do.

Offline Xandi

  • HUGS from the Queen of Hugs.....Hugs
  • Dame
  • Addict
  • *
  • Join Date: Jul 2009
  • Location: In Xandiland where everyone is respectful or they get their head chopped off.
  • Gender: Female
  • Light dispels darkness, Widsom dispels ignorance
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 1
Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1216 on: March 19, 2016, 09:42:13 AM »
One of the toughest things about living with someone that has depression, is when that dark cloud hits, there's nothing I can do to pull them out of it and then I get pulled into it. Especially with my 92yr old dad, who wants nothing more than to lie in bed and never get out. The risk of losing his muscles is very high and I try desperately to keep him up and about, walking around. But there are days when he just wants to lie there. It's so hard and frustrating for me, knowing that his muscles will atrophy the longer he lays in bed, and as much as I try to pep him up, get his spirits up, when he's down he's down.

So far we've been able to negotiate only lying for a few hours a day then being active. At least he's active a little each day. Our latest initiative is doing things together. I've noticed his spirit and energy is better when we do things together, and as much as he's glum at not being able to do as much on his own, we have that. I figure it's easier to want to stay up and moving if there's a reason to. So we go to our favorite restaurants, movies, and walks to the park. We have still meds we're exploring and they've helped a little bit. But in the end we just have each other, and that's all I can do.

I understand more than you can know Kurzyk. My father got like that too. He was tired all the time and just had no motivation to do things. Even his personal hygiene became an issue. He just didn't care anymore. It is good to keep him active as long as you can. The mind needs to stay active also. Playing games if he is willing and keeping him engaged in conversations. Does he like dogs/cats/animals? If so, maybe see if the local shelter has a dog that you could visit until they find a forever home. Having a purpose is so important. Older people feel like they don't have anything left to offer and we have to show them that they do. Getting to know all the things he did as a child, if he was in the war some of the stories he likes to tell and you have probably heard a thousand times....making him see that you want to hear his thoughts. Question him about his opinions on things, even small things. I know you probably know all this but I really do feel for the situation you are in. *lots of hugs*

*leaves positive light and energy and lots and lots of hugs for you*

Offline Kurzyk

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1217 on: March 19, 2016, 10:21:33 AM »
Thank you Xandi. *hugs*

Yes we have a cat and they get along well. I like to believe that my cat has her own kind of healing and nurturing that helps. Yea I definitely have to remind him to shower which is frustrating and indicative of his letting go and not really caring. He does feel a little better after the shower which is good. And we both like talking about economics, and whats going on in the world today. He's a brilliant man and fun to engage in deep conversations like that. I also involve him in my life, asking his advice on occasion. I want him to feel like he has purpose which he does! I always tell him how important he is, and what he has to offer and try to remind him of things that we both love and make plans.

It sucks, but I think we're doing all we can under the circumstances and taking things one day at a time. It's really all we can do.

Offline Xandi

  • HUGS from the Queen of Hugs.....Hugs
  • Dame
  • Addict
  • *
  • Join Date: Jul 2009
  • Location: In Xandiland where everyone is respectful or they get their head chopped off.
  • Gender: Female
  • Light dispels darkness, Widsom dispels ignorance
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 1
Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1218 on: March 19, 2016, 07:23:44 PM »
Thank you Xandi. *hugs*

Yes we have a cat and they get along well. I like to believe that my cat has her own kind of healing and nurturing that helps. Yea I definitely have to remind him to shower which is frustrating and indicative of his letting go and not really caring. He does feel a little better after the shower which is good. And we both like talking about economics, and whats going on in the world today. He's a brilliant man and fun to engage in deep conversations like that. I also involve him in my life, asking his advice on occasion. I want him to feel like he has purpose which he does! I always tell him how important he is, and what he has to offer and try to remind him of things that we both love and make plans.

It sucks, but I think we're doing all we can under the circumstances and taking things one day at a time. It's really all we can do.

*hugs*

I am sure you are doing everything you can do. It is hard to watch our parents grow old. *hugs more* Just remember that you don't have to shoulder everything on your own. If you need a listening ear I'm sure your friends and family are willing and I of course am willing to listen. Take care sweet man and just know you and your father are in my thoughts and prayers.

*HUGS*

Offline Kurzyk

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1219 on: March 20, 2016, 05:59:48 AM »
Thank you Xandi. *hugs* You're very kind and thoughtful. I appreciate it.

Offline Dwarfvader

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1220 on: March 21, 2016, 08:50:22 PM »
Leaves this for anyone who might need it...



I've been having a lot of really rough days lately. Career wise and money wise and all that terrible stuff. And I really needed to see this. I get nervous in group threads, so this might be the only post I make. But this has helped me...thank you.

Offline Xandi

  • HUGS from the Queen of Hugs.....Hugs
  • Dame
  • Addict
  • *
  • Join Date: Jul 2009
  • Location: In Xandiland where everyone is respectful or they get their head chopped off.
  • Gender: Female
  • Light dispels darkness, Widsom dispels ignorance
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 1
Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1221 on: March 22, 2016, 03:30:33 AM »
I've been having a lot of really rough days lately. Career wise and money wise and all that terrible stuff. And I really needed to see this. I get nervous in group threads, so this might be the only post I make. But this has helped me...thank you.

*HUGS Comfortingly*

I am sorry to read this but I hope you are doing better soon.

Offline Remiel

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1222 on: March 22, 2016, 09:02:30 AM »
Yes, I hope things start to turn around for you soon, dwarfvader.

Offline kakihara

  • A wolf remains a wolf, even if it has not eaten your sheep.
  • Lord
  • Seducer
  • *
  • Join Date: Aug 2006
  • Location: On the other side of the mirror... waiting.
  • Gender: Male
  • It's all in the reflexes.
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 0
Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1223 on: March 22, 2016, 12:58:47 PM »
Thank you Xandi. *hugs*

Yes we have a cat and they get along well. I like to believe that my cat has her own kind of healing and nurturing that helps. Yea I definitely have to remind him to shower which is frustrating and indicative of his letting go and not really caring. He does feel a little better after the shower which is good. And we both like talking about economics, and whats going on in the world today. He's a brilliant man and fun to engage in deep conversations like that. I also involve him in my life, asking his advice on occasion. I want him to feel like he has purpose which he does! I always tell him how important he is, and what he has to offer and try to remind him of things that we both love and make plans.

It sucks, but I think we're doing all we can under the circumstances and taking things one day at a time. It's really all we can do.

I have to agree cat's have their own healing properties, especially if he's use to having a pet.  And at least you know he is suffering the depression so you can address it and help with it.  I know I was actually shocked to learn that my mother was on depression medication and when I asked about it she'd said it was because the doctor thought it would help her with her 'low' feelings.  I think she was too set in her ways to actually admit she had depression as it was too new an idea.  I know that it hit her hard when she had to move from the house she'd lived in with the whole family since as long as I was alive and she'd she'd always had cats around, often close ti 9 and 10 at one time with some strays outside since it was an old farm house.  And then when she moved with my brother and father who were practically useless in the matter she could only take two and one of them was my brothers cat so she had just this older cat as her companion. (one that the 'no kill' rescues then told me to put down)

Sorry, got on a tangent there, I was originally going to comment on your mention 'One of the toughest things about living with someone that has depression, is when that dark cloud hits, there's nothing I can do to pull them out of it and then I get pulled into it.'  I completely agree with this and struggle with it daily.  I've always had depression to various degrees throughout my life that once I pulled myself out of the destructive mire of my youth I was able to treat with various techniques over the years.  But my SO who've I have been with for 10 years suffers from a lot and relies wholly on the medication she only recently started getting to treat her depression.  But medicine works strangely for her, she went through one that made her feel worse and the new medication works but only to a degree.  She still gets bad during PMS and from other medication as she's just been put on birth control and it's really effected her moods.  So, it's a daily struggle for me as I can't not try and cheer her up and sometimes it works a little but more often then not I'm left feeling sad and/or angry and drawn into the darkness as well.

I think this is where it would be nice to have a good support network around you though sadly I know I lack that for the most part.  It is definitely a delicate balance for those of us who either suffer from depression or are overly empathetic when you have to deal with someone who's suffering from depression in your life.  And I think you are exactly correct in that it's just something you have to adjust each day as it does no good if both of you fall into the pit as it's all too easy to let happen.

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1224 on: March 23, 2016, 05:09:30 AM »
I've been having a lot of really rough days lately. Career wise and money wise and all that terrible stuff. And I really needed to see this. I get nervous in group threads, so this might be the only post I make. But this has helped me...thank you.

I also hope that things improve for you soon Dwarfvader and I am glad that the quote helped you in some way ~offers supportive hugs~