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Author Topic: Perverted Wishes  (Read 89414 times)

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Offline Ryven

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1350 on: January 17, 2009, 02:53:53 PM »
Granted!  You fast forward the calendar so it is May.  However, it is still January in reality.  It just says May on your calendar.

I wish I had more lemonade.

Offline Kangaroo

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1351 on: January 17, 2009, 03:56:35 PM »
Granted!   You have three huge containers of lemonade and are drinking the last glass when you learn that they contained large amounts of laxatives which your room-mate prepared for his colonoscopy tomorrow.


I wish my doctor would ask me out.

Offline Aeval

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1352 on: January 17, 2009, 04:06:03 PM »
* good one Kanga!!!*

Granted! Your doctor asks you out but you realize he has no social graces- he drops his utensils, dribbles food down his mouth and spills things on his shirt and tie- AND he didn't bring enough money to pay for YOUR meal.

I wish someone would prepare dinner for me.

Offline Kangaroo

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1353 on: January 17, 2009, 06:44:25 PM »
Granted, it's payday but your fired for unscrupulous conduct and they withhold your last paycheck to pay for the offended's court costs.

I wish my room was sixty-three degrees Fahrenheit. 

Huh?    Aeval wished for someone to prepare dinner for her......

Offline Aeval

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1354 on: January 17, 2009, 08:05:14 PM »
Huh?    Aeval wished for someone to prepare dinner for her......
thanks kanga  :) *hug*

I'm STILL wishing someone would make dinner  ;D

Offline Ryven

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1355 on: January 17, 2009, 08:12:18 PM »
Granted!  You are transformed into a roasted turkey with mashed potatoes and gravy on the side.  Everyone eat up!

I wish I had a really long ethernet cable.

Offline Prefect Mos

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1356 on: January 18, 2009, 12:01:03 AM »
You have one.... Its forty seven miles long and made of an uncutable alloy ... your landloard tells you hes going to charge you extra rent for keeping it on the lawn.

I wish i had some sugar for meh tea...

Offline Ryven

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1357 on: January 18, 2009, 09:58:51 AM »
Granted!  You have forty seven tons of sugar for your iced tea...your landlord tells you he's going to charge you extra rent for keeping it on the lawn.

I wish I had a laser cannon.

Offline Prefect Mos

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1358 on: January 18, 2009, 11:24:25 AM »
Granted its 47 tons.... and works absolutely perfectly ... but you would need a Fusion reactor to power it :P

I wish for some good old fashioned Man Sex.

Offline Ryven

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1359 on: January 18, 2009, 12:26:25 PM »
Granted!  You get your good old fashioned man sex.  (I can't pervert that kind of wish.)

I wish I had a fusion reactor.

Offline Prefect Mos

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1360 on: January 18, 2009, 05:35:41 PM »
Hmmm.. Man sex.. Granted you have your fusion reactor but its imideatly confescated by the govement for further investigation and safty training ... in the mean time.. oil prices go up .

I wish There was a forcefield that kept cigrets out of my grasp.

Offline Desan

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1361 on: January 18, 2009, 06:01:13 PM »
Granted, you no longer can get to your cigarettes thanks to the forcefield..unfortunately the weed next to the cig's is all open and ripe for the taking :P

I wish the eagles had beaten Arizona and won the superbowl this year.

Offline Prefect Mos

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1362 on: January 18, 2009, 11:28:52 PM »
Thats ok.. Weed i can avoid. Granted ... in the ensuing aftermath of the Penn Bowl all that are left are the Amish who declare victory in the war agenst civilization. Closing off acess to everyone else, effectivly sperating the north east from the rest of the country.. this apparent act of ceseccion beguns to spread from there, the country falling apart region by rejion.. the south soon reinstates Appahrtied.. as the world relises quickly that THE cop has gone away suddenly not gradualy land grabs are inacted.. and ideoligies imposed that can not be faught... New york is left stranded and starving from food reserves as new england declares itself seperate from the decidance of the island.. a mid western theocracy begins seperating themselves from the hate of the south... but allying based soly on religion as Texas beguns anew its own social programs... a line in the sand drawn at the rocky mountians.. the north west needing allies to help manage the military resources here quickly pleads with England for admission into a stregthining commonwealth empire as Canada beguns to assert its deffence.. the north west is eagerly admited as California free state forms.. the continued seperation and cracking goes south.. Baja joining with California.. and parts of northern Mexico attempting to join Texas with verrious degrees of success . As the world continues to shatter Japans attack on The peoples republic solidifys there resolve.. giving them a common enemy.. and the opertunity to finaly fully break through there social change of mass education and pwer to all the people.. Japan is soon crushed.. the nuke war starts over Kashmir.. for the most part the world dosnt notice , China in its new found oil lust quickly conquors siberia.. russia fires a missle mostly in symbology destroying a small town in south east china ending the war before the chinese move further west. Europe Solidifys in union and starts internal issolation as the African union begins getting its act together enacting vast social change , brazil emerging as a loan power of signifficance as it slowly takes charge as the new world cop.

I wish i was good with spelling and Grammar (or at least not dyslexic.)

Offline Ryven

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1363 on: January 19, 2009, 08:45:01 AM »
Granted!  You are exquisite at spelling and grammar.  However, you fall into a coma shortly after you realize this and have no chance of doing any writing.

I wish I had some breakfast.

Offline Aeval

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1364 on: January 19, 2009, 08:46:31 AM »
Granted!  You are exquisite at spelling and grammar.  However, you fall into a coma shortly after you realize this and have no chance of doing any writing.

I wish I had some breakfast.

Breakfast is served..but it is ALL the things you dislike!

I wish life-relationships-never changed

Offline Prefect Mos

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1365 on: January 19, 2009, 08:50:46 AM »
(damn... got preempted.. well heres my answer to Ryven)

Granted. But after you finish with breakfast you accidentally read the nutritional information and feel fat and bloated al dayl , then when you finaly get to a chance to get to the gym you completely fail to notice that hot guy that was hitting on you till he leaves with another boy cause you were to focused on weight lifting instead of going to his place for some aerobics.


(and heres to Aeval)

Granted... your never born.. as since the dawn of time only one single cell has been born.. as it has a singular relationship with its self.. and now that could never have been changed.

I wish that Zombie Robert A Heinlein were wrighting, and every bit as good as living Robert A Heinlein.
« Last Edit: January 19, 2009, 08:53:06 AM by AdmerWill »

Offline Custos Morum

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1366 on: January 19, 2009, 11:38:47 AM »
granted, but his wrights in a language you could never understand

I wish I had a cyborg army under my command...

Offline cldstrife15

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1367 on: January 19, 2009, 12:47:56 PM »
Granted, but the UN preemptively strikes at the threat by nuking you and your entire army.

I wish I had a good full time job.

Offline Custos Morum

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1368 on: January 19, 2009, 12:56:46 PM »
granted, it's full time. Actually 24/7, leaving no free time left for anything else.

I wish I was the world champion of cunnilingus.

Offline Ryven

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1369 on: January 19, 2009, 04:22:54 PM »
Granted!  You are the world champion!  However, once the title is bestowed upon you, your tongue falls out due to inexplicable medical reasons, and the title passes to someone else pretty quickly.

I wish was the world champion of fellatio. ;D

Offline Prefect Mos

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1370 on: January 19, 2009, 06:49:34 PM »
Granted... But it also turns you into a woman.

I wish I had a more rewarding job.

Offline Ryven

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1371 on: January 19, 2009, 09:48:58 PM »
Granted!  You get a new rewarding job.  You get paid minimum wage for delivering cheesy awards to old people for being so old.

I wish the next person's wish was not perverted in any way, shape or form.

Offline Aeval

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1372 on: January 19, 2009, 09:54:26 PM »
Granted!  You get a new rewarding job.  You get paid minimum wage for delivering cheesy awards to old people for being so old.

I wish the next person's wish was not perverted in any way, shape or form.
*oohhh!! I have to take advantage of not having my wish perverted..let's see..*

I wish for a deep and passionate love  ;D

Offline Prefect Mos

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1373 on: January 19, 2009, 10:01:38 PM »
Not Granted.. You never perverted or granted the previous wish.. witch nullifys your wish.. and because of the nature of it.. his as well :D 

I wish I had significantly more weight last year.

Offline Ryven

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1374 on: January 19, 2009, 10:20:49 PM »
Granted!  You had an extra 50 tons last year, all of which is sitting in your front yard in the form of a huge pile of cow manure.

I wish that Aeval's previous wish was granted without perversion.