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Author Topic: Perverted Wishes  (Read 89399 times)

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Offline icedragonknight

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1425 on: March 06, 2009, 05:27:58 PM »
wish granted you can out play any one in the world but then aliens take you back to there home world as a science experiment

i wish i was a good dad

Offline saturnschild

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1426 on: March 06, 2009, 09:37:02 PM »
Wish Granted but your kids end up drug out and in jail.

I wish I can start a band.

Offline ShrowdedPoet

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1427 on: March 07, 2009, 01:48:54 PM »
Wish granted but your band is made up of Agitha an old lady down the road who plays piano, Doug, the dork in the grade below you who tutors you in English who plays the harmonica, and Judy the Dyke man hater who plays bangos. 

I wish I had something interesting to read.

Offline MusicNeverDies

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1428 on: March 08, 2009, 05:27:04 PM »
Granted, however you are transported into the world of Fahrenheit 451, and firemen set your house on fire and destroy the book- right before the climax.

I wish my stomach didn't hurt.

Offline Prefect Mos

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1429 on: March 08, 2009, 06:23:36 PM »
Your stomic no longer hurts because your too distracted by another sort of pain.. the internet made it seem like it would be so easy to get that wine bottle in there, unfortunately this one broke.

I wish I had a loving beautiful woman that loved me the same way I loved her.

Offline Aeval

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1430 on: March 09, 2009, 08:41:14 AM »
Granted! Unfortunately she has $50,000 worth of debt on her credit card which she didn't tell you about and 8 children that she ALSO didn't tell you about- until AFTER you said I do!
 
I wish I knew what I wanted to be when I grow up!

Offline saturnschild

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1431 on: March 09, 2009, 08:51:13 AM »
wish granted but what you become is not what you wanted. You end up alone unloved,and depressed. One day they find a computer to take over your job because of no progress with you.

I wish that I owned the internet.

Offline snow

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1432 on: March 09, 2009, 09:50:53 AM »
wish granted, you win a sweepstakes and the enternets income is siphoned to you, but that same day the stock crashes and the enternet crashes as well and your out billions of dollars in dept.

i wish i could go back in time and rule Rome

Offline saturnschild

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1433 on: March 09, 2009, 09:53:50 AM »
granted but when you go back you end up being Julius Ceaser just when he was killed and suffer his death.

I wish I can go to Tokyo.

Offline snow

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1434 on: March 09, 2009, 09:56:44 AM »
granted, you go to Tokyo but you loose your bags and all your money and your forced to live on the streets before giting shot in gang violence.

i wish i could be a shape shifter

Offline saturnschild

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1435 on: March 09, 2009, 10:00:38 AM »
wish granted. You can shape shift into anything you want. But soon you sift to many time and get stuck in mid sift and are forced to live life as two separate thing.

I wish I didn't have Ashma

Offline snow

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1436 on: March 09, 2009, 10:22:13 AM »
wish granted, you now are free of your ashma and become a world class runner, but one day wile running an exotic coarse over some mountins you slip and slide down the rocky face of a cliff and fall to your death

i wish my writings would make me money

Offline Prefect Mos

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1437 on: March 09, 2009, 06:08:46 PM »
Poof Its done.

Your wrigting becomes horrible, Vorgon Horrible. After a terrorist reading of one of your poems it is decided (by several of the new senators, to replace thouse whoms bodies decided to kill the brain before enduring more then the already done portion of the reading) Your Skin is to be removed, Tanned, and flattened into paper. Your blood boiled into a black ink, And your brain to be used to emulsify the paper in a protective coloring. And printed upon as the new Billion dollar bills.   Your bones to be sliced up to be used as coins., and your your meat sold at the butcher shop, thus turrning you into money.

I wish i was a little less morbid.

Offline Shihong

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1438 on: March 15, 2009, 07:53:19 PM »
Granted.  Morbidity is now alien to your system.  Happiness is the only reaction your body is capable of, no matter what the situation.  A loved one dies?  Laughter seems like an appropriate response.  Even in sleep your face is every bit like a Stepford Wife's; grinning with joy until the day you die.  Every time your pen touches paper, the only thing that comes out are kittens and hearts and flowers, or sappy messages so syrupy sweet that it provokes gags from anyone unfortunate enough to read them.

Here's a bit of an odd one.  I wish to be in another world.  A darker world, even a horrible one, so long as it proves more interesting than this one.

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1439 on: March 15, 2009, 07:56:44 PM »
Poof.

You appear in the world and say oh this is interesting before being brained by a Chihuahua carrying a flail.

I wish I was a math genius.

Offline Prefect Mos

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1440 on: March 15, 2009, 08:00:22 PM »
Poof your a Math genius .

You can bend numbers to do your bidding, you make calculus your bitch .. but your also too socialy akward to be allowed in broad daylight and are kept in a cell to prevernt you from harming yourself or others.

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1441 on: March 15, 2009, 08:02:07 PM »
Poof your a Math genius .

You can bend numbers to do your bidding, you make calculus your bitch .. but your also too socialy akward to be allowed in broad daylight and are kept in a cell to prevernt you from harming yourself or others.
(Made out like a bandit Oh and make a wish.)

Offline Prefect Mos

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1442 on: March 15, 2009, 08:03:59 PM »
oh right.

I wish Bill gates would Give me 20 million dollars+ medical expensises for accidently hitting me with his Porsche, and that I fully recovered in a matter of weeks.

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1443 on: March 15, 2009, 08:12:08 PM »
He gives you twenty million dollars. Unfortunately, it's in Gates Dollar, the form of currency he tried to establish when attempting to take over the world. Every one is worth five British pounds, or what he was planning on forcing them to do when he kidnapped their queen.

For when Gates hit you with that Porsche it was the most important day of your life; for him it was Tuesday.

I wish I could never flunk a test. 

Offline lexxusbabe

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1444 on: March 16, 2009, 04:17:09 AM »
Granted, but due to your incredible array of qualifications, and total lack of experience, you will be fired from every job you succeed in getting within a week.

I wish I could freeze the world (except me) whenever I wanted, for as long as I wanted.

Offline Shihong

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1445 on: March 16, 2009, 04:29:21 AM »
The world does indeed stop; every last bit of it, except for yourself.  The only problem is, this includes air and light.  You can only use this ability for as long as you can hold your breath, and you'll be blind for the duration. 

I wish for the ability to manipulate others in whatever way I choose.

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1446 on: March 16, 2009, 07:05:36 AM »
Wish granted but you are quickly killed by a person you manipulated into playing Monopoly. Because we all know Monopoly makes people do crazy things.

I wish I could fly like Superman.

Offline icedragonknight

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1447 on: March 16, 2009, 09:31:38 AM »
wish granted you can fly like superman, but sadly super powers don't come with instruction manuals, therefore you crash into a skyscraper, causing it to fall and as the saying goes everyone mistook you for a plane


i wish for a chocolate and cream swirl

Offline MusicNeverDies

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1448 on: March 16, 2009, 12:10:57 PM »
Granted, but you drop it on the ground, and it falls into a pile of fecal matter. Better luck next time!

I wish I could teleport.

Offline Inkidu

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #1449 on: March 16, 2009, 01:02:09 PM »
Wish granted. You can now teleport at will to anywhere you want. However, due to a certain, pesky uncertainty principle not all your molecules end up back together and you eventually lose an arm instead of some hair.

I wish I could right an awesome speech in ten minutes of work.