Topic: Perverted Wishes

[Idej]

Granted, but Books-A-Million ceases to exist as soon as you try to buy a book.

I wish that my cat would get off of my lap.

[ShrowdedPoet]

. . .granted. . .it is now up your ass. . .

I wish that. . .I was at home in my comfy bed.

[dart]

granted. however the pirate finally figures out that your bed is under his bed and tries to seduce you. (he fails of coarse. who would want to do it with a pirate... well depends upon their looks of coarse, but the stereotypical pirate I doubt was the one who got layed.lol)

I wish peaple werent so much of a prude about staying PG13. (it ruins the fun sometimes)

[ShrowdedPoet]

granted. however the pirate finally figures out that your bed is under his bed and tries to seduce you. (he fails of coarse. who would want to do it with a pirate... well depends upon their looks of coarse, but the stereotypical pirate I doubt was the one who got layed.lol)

(the pirate whose bed I am hiding under is Cpt Calico my love and he will always suceed in seducing me. . .)

Granted. . .now R rating is the same at PG13. . .sorry. . .

I wish. . .for good food NOW!

[MusicNeverDies]

(the pirate whose bed I am hiding under is Cpt Calico my love and he will always suceed in seducing me. . .)

Granted. . .now R rating is the same at PG13. . .sorry. . .

I wish. . .for good food NOW!

Granted, but you are allergic and it causes you to swell up and get hives.

I wish that people owned planes as transportation.

[ShrowdedPoet]

Granted, but you are allergic and it causes you to swell up and get hives.

I wish that people owned planes as transportation.

Granted. . .but alot of people die becaue the people who own them are as dumb as the people who drive cars wrecklessly and they have lots of wrecks and land on peoples houses and stuff. . .

I wish for benedril.

[dart]

granted. however they decided to change formula and it turns out it doesn't help at all.

I wish I was less shy around people in real life and was more like how I act when i am on things like chat rooms.

[ShrowdedPoet]

Granted. . .now you run around in a vertual world. . .

I wish I had something to help fix my allergic reaction.

[dart]

Granted. . .now you run around in a vertual world. . .

I wish I had something to help fix my allergic reaction.

(I didnt say I wish I lived in a virtual world though *crys* I wished that my shyness would allow me to act like I do in chat rooms)
granted. they are testing a new drug and you have volinteered to become the test subject. They give it to you and it works you now are allergic to nothing. however you soon figure out that you also now have super powers thanks to the previous medicines that failed which were still in your blood stream. what you will do with them is up to you.

I wish I ShrowdedPoet lived in the virtual world with me so I wouldnt become so lonely.

[ShrowdedPoet]

Granted, now I too live in the virtual world with my family and friends. . .but we ignore you. . .

I wish that I knew what to wish for. . .

[dart]

granted. but you already made your wish.

I wish that wish didn't come up so much. hell even I wished that.

[ShrowdedPoet]

. . .does not compute. . .try again. . .

[The Great Triangle]

Aww, but what are you wishing for Shrowded?


I wish I had a massive pianist.

[Maeven]

Aww, but what are you wishing for Shrowded?


I wish I had a massive pianist.

Granted, but you don't have a massive piano, or any piano for that mater, so the pianist does you no good. 


I wish that I had access to a never-ending fount of inspiration. 

[Idej]

Granted, but the fountains contents is a highly acidic substance which kills you right when you drink it.

I wish that I could go visit Tokyo for a month.

[xXStarlightXx]

Wish granted but the day you get there you end up in jail and don't get released until its time to go home.

I wish I could speak every language in the world.

[The Great Triangle]

Granted.  You can speak every language in the world because the nazis won world war II, and now the only remaining language in the world is German.  On the other hand, the cake is nice.

I wish I had any one of the following:

Duplicate any wizard or sorcerer spell of 8th level or lower, provided the spell is not of a school prohibited to you.

Duplicate any other spell of 6th level or lower, provided the spell is not of a school prohibited to you.

Duplicate any wizard or sorcerer spell of 7th level or lower even if it’s of a prohibited school.

Duplicate any other spell of 5th level or lower even if it’s of a prohibited school.

Undo the harmful effects of many other spells, such as geas/quest or insanity.

Create a nonmagical item of up to 25,000 gp in value.

Create a magic item, or add to the powers of an existing magic item.

Grant a creature a +1 inherent bonus to an ability score.

Remove injuries and afflictions. A single wish can aid one creature per caster level, and all subjects are cured of the same kind of affliction. For example, you could heal all the damage you and your companions have taken, or remove all poison effects from everyone in the party

Transport travelers. A wish can lift one creature per caster level from anywhere on any plane and place those creatures anywhere else on any plane regardless of local conditions.

Undo misfortune. A wish can undo a single recent event.

[ShrowdedPoet]

Wish granted. . .you have one of those. . .but you don't know which. . .

I wish I wasn't so hungry right now.

[The Great Triangle]

Granted.  A very attractive man comes to your house.  Unfortunately, he has an odd way of easing your hunger...   

I wish for ragnarok.

[Paradox]

Granted. Somehow, you manage to survive the battle itself and build yourself a raft to wait out the resulting flood; unfortunately, one mythology is juxtaposed against another, and your raft winds up caught in the path of Ziusudra's ark. Your raft is crushed, and Noah's ark comes along and runs you down for good measure. You die a painful, sodden, water-logged death underneath ten-score animals cooped up in a boat. When Noah's wife empties the manure bins, she does so right above the point where your corpse is slowly drifting to the bottom. You are forever buried in a ton of wet shit.

I wish that the erasers on mechanical pencils never wore out.

[Josietta]

Granted. But they no longer erase but smear the lead across your page causing it to spread like an inky black disease, covering all of your hard work beyond recovery.

I wish ignorant people would spontaneously grow a second head to help them think before they speak.

[Paradox]

Granted, but it only ends up arguing with the first head. Oftentimes, the first head can be seen nibbling on the second head's hair. Ears have been known to be bitten off and masticated with much vigor. Whatever benefit the second head could have given the first one is lost in the perpetual bickering.

I wish the answer and the question of the meaning of life weren't mutually exclusive.

[The Great Triangle]

Granted?

I wish everyone could enjoy just how horrible and violent the world really is.

[jstarz]

Granted but everybody is now a sadist and kill one another for pleasure.

I wish TiVo wold work on a black and white vacuum tube TV from the 1950s.

[Kalen]

It does, and only tapes Howdy Doody... enjoy?

I wish I could always post at night.