Nothing tickle's feminists pink more than a chance to rant on about how women were slaves to their husbands before the liberation movement. How they were nothing more than breeding machines, cooks, maids and sources of the man's pleasure. I honestly couldn't believe that those are true without stretches of imagination. Yet, to this day they paint housewives as enslaved women wanting to break free and work just like a man when most housewives I've spoken to are actually turned off by the idea of working like her husband does.
When it comes to the role of Men and women in marriage, I look to the Bible. While some might picture that as being the biggest source of repression, the reverse is actually true. The text gives 7 responsibilities to men and 5 to women in marriage that I will list here:
It seems to be the most obvious, but it defines the love in two ways. First: it is as Christ loves the Church and Second: it is as Man should love his body. The former means that just like Christ came to the Church to clean it of blemishes and sacrificed Himself for it's betterment, so too must Man to his Wife. He must give everything of himself to his wife for her betterment. The latter refers to how a man would keep his body clean, healthy and appealing so too a man must to his wife as they are now of 'one flesh'. A man would not punish his own body, so too a man should not punish his wife. If a wife is tired, a man should insure she gets rest. If she is lonely, he must insure that she gets attention.
Most of us know what Adam said when he first saw Eve:
The man said, ”This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”
This is very important because the phrase 'This is now' speaks to his admiration of her. He had waited and wanted for her for so long and now is in awe of her. So too a man must of his wife not only when they are married but every day of their lives. It is how I say: Treat her like a Person, then a Princess, then a Greek Goddess, then a Person again.
- To separate from his parents
Something I see way too often is a husband who has overbearing parents sticking their noses in everything. This has been a cliche in so many movies, I won't stay for long. Just know when it says in the Bible 'Separate from his parents', it means more than just moving out, it means drawing a line in the sand.
This speaks to more than just the husband taking the intuitive in approaching his wife sexually, it also means that he should take intuitive on everything concerning building the relationship with his wife. We like to pretend that there are women out there for the shy men, but there honestly might not be. Men should strike first when it comes to building a relationship both before and after a marriage. A woman should never feel wanting for her husband. It also means that when something happens in the family, men should be the first to act if he can. If the children are misbehaving, he should get up first and solve the problem. If there is a problem with the home, then he should move first to make it better. A slothful husband is a bad husband.
- To be transparent in the relationship with his wife
Usually it takes therapy for a couple to learn that the moment ether side starts hiding something, things fall apart. This is repeated with women, of course because they aren't immune to it ether. It is a sad development in our culture when men are taught to hide things from their significant other. This also means that men should be open to things that women say to them.
Now I might be getting women burning their bras over this one. But I ask that you put the match down and wait just a moment. I said this already but it is laid out that men are the head of the family like Christ is the head of the Church. Jesus didn't come to give orders and force change and nether should a husband. A husband should care for, protect and sacrifice for his wife like Christ did for the Church.
- To show honor to his wife
This is actually the easiest. Open the door for her, pull out the seat for her, help her across puddles. Everything we attribute to chilvery. Men are naturally stronger than women. There is no way around this. But rather than a man using this to control his wife, he should use this strength to assist her in her life.
Those are the seven things that, according to the Christian Philosophy, a man should do for his wife. And here are the five things that it says a woman should do for her husband.
- To be a suitable helper for the husband
A narrow view of this would make it seems that a woman is to be a caretaker for the husband, however this isn't true. It is a request that first, a couple should have the same goals in life so that the woman can actively partake in achieving those goals with her husband. Second, a couple should also have activities that they both actively enjoy. She will also help him with his individual goals by giving helpful advice and guidance in doing so.
- To respond actively to the good initiatives of her husband
Above, we saw a man be told to take initiative in doing good things for his wife. Here, we see that it is the wife's duty to respond positively to those good things. Nothing frustrates a man more than to have his good initiatives responded with nothing or worse a negative reaction. It is actually this that lead to the separation of my parents and it's why I can barely stand my own mom. She never showed any positive reaction to the good things I've done. She always found the things I did wrong instead. If you want a husband to do good things, a wife should show that she appricates the good things.
- To be open with the husband
Just like with men above, a wife must be open about her desires, wants and needs or else the husband will feel separated from her or be unable to complete his duties to her. This means no double talk or 'dropping hints'. It means flatly stating what the wife wants or needs.
- To be subject to the husband
Put those matches down! Just like i said in the man's section, this does not mean a wife is a slave or a servant. It means that she respects his role as the head so long as he respects his duties to her. It doesn't mean the wife is inferior to man in any stretch of the imagination.
- To love her husband with love and affection
The men got the same message but in three different forms, but it is important to get this clear. Nothing tears a family apart as much as a husband and wife that doesn't show they love each other. A wife might use the excuse that there are too many worries such as little children. But when children see a love and affection from their parents, they grow stronger for it. They feel safe and loved as well. Besides, it is the duty of the man to assist his wife with her worries so a little appreciation goes a long way.