The entire premise of this conversation is very heteronormative and cis*centered, as has been pointed out. Making generalizations about genders is a ludicrous idea, as gender roles are anything but set in stone nor should they be.
To respond to your first question: Feminism, or at least the version I take to heart, is about gender equality. In all ways, any gender (I won't say both as I don't buy into gender binary), if equal, should be interchangeable in the vast majority of non-sexual circumstances. Let's take your reply, and swap females for males.
Here's a shocker folks, men are sexy. Most of that physical sexiness comes from their chests and asses. You can't change that. However [some people] want to make men believe that if they dress sexy for anything other than to show how 'liberated' the man is, he is just feeding the evil women what they want. And it's even worse if it's for a wife.
So here's my suggestion. Men, if you want to dress sexy.. do it! I know the honest reason why you dress sexy, it's because you are trying to attract a female! You don't have to do anything else than to show women that you have a chest and ass and they will do the rest. In nature, this is why females have prominent features so that they do all the work and can attract the males. In human culture, women do this by making themselves seem strong, seem powerful, seem wealthy, or seem smart. Nature already had it so that women had to do all the work to get your permission to mate, you don't need feminism to do it.
Are you laughing? Does it sound ridiculous to you? Yeah, that's what your original text sounded like to me as a woman.
Also, I play the hell out of video games. All my friends, males, females and those in between, do also. Not everyone wants to stare at a feminine shaped body. (Even if I do sometimes.)
As for the second question, a Christian marriage is not what everyone wants. It hinges on adherence to the Bible/Christianity. Relationships are as individual as the people in them; no mold will work for every one. There are many faiths and many with no faith. Can they not have healthy relationships?
I'll even go down your check list, even if I'm not a heterosexual Christian woman (although I am a wife, so give some credit there):
Do I want my spouse to "To love his wife"? Yes. To admire his wife? Yes, for my accomplishments in and out of the home. To separate from his parents? No. They are loving, supportive people. Why should I shut these people out of our lives? Who I am to control who influences him thoughts and choices? No love should deny love; I could never deny my spouse the love and support of his family. To be joined to his wife? Given that that is the purpose of marriage, yes. To be transparent in the relationship with his wife? Yes, beautifully. To be the head of woman? I have my own head. He admires my head (pun intended). If he wanted to marry someone who wasn't capable of undertaking her own life and depended on him for everything, he would have adopted a child. To show honor to his wife? He honor me for respecting my mind, my choices, and my abilities. Opening a door is done by strangers; it's common courtesy. He uses his manners with me because he respects me as a human being, not because he's physically stronger.
As for me? Should I act "To be a suitable helper for the husband"? Yes, as much as he is a helper to me. Equally so. To respond actively to the good initiatives of her husband? Sorry, I'm too proactive for that. I have my own good ideas as much as he does. We act together on our ideas. I'm not going to sit around mindlessly while I make him do all the thinking. To be open with the husband? Naturally, just as he is transparent to me, I am with him. To be subject to the husband? Only as much as he is subject to me. To love her husband with love and affection? As much as he loves and gives affection to me, absolutely.
Now some folks might want what you've lined out. Good. Let them. Let them be happy. Let them be happy, but let it be their choice. I never said anyone has to live as I do, but I can't abide anyone thinking they have no choice in the matter, even if the answer to them is so clear as to there not appear to be a choice.
We've been married eight years, together over ten. We have never taken a break or reconsidered out relationship. We are equal partners, and our friends and family consider us to me the very model of relationship bliss. If anyone tells me our relationship is broken because we're not sticking to Christian values or I'm not subservient to him or because he does most of the housework or because I might make more money, we'll gladly tell them to roast in their own Hell.
In short: Yes, feminine makes me happy. It makes me a hell of a lot happier than being shoved in some heteronormative, one-size-fits-nobody, sharply divided box. I love being able to choose my life and relationships as what works for me and my partner; feminism means everyone has that choice.