You are either not logged in or not registered with our community. Click here to register.
 
December 06, 2016, 02:30:39 AM

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length

Click here if you are having problems.
Default Wide Screen Beige Lilac Rainbow Black & Blue October Send us your theme!

Hark!  The Herald!
Holiday Issue 2016

Wiki Blogs Dicebot

Author Topic: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]  (Read 6823 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Ravien Delapor

Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #125 on: May 11, 2013, 05:28:00 PM »
They don't ask because they don't know enough to ask - and no one else does. They don't get a complete pass on any laws of mechanical physics, they just warp reality to make things they "know" to be true.

This is proof of what I had already feared: mass stupidity can rewrite reality.  Tzeench help us all.

Conceit of the writers, not the setting. 40k fiction has 'feth', 'fething', 'frak', 'gek', 'fragged'....they have lots of F-bombs, just not the one we're used to. It's fairly common in speculative fiction to invent new profanity for some reason.

I suppose that it's fair for writers to invent new curses...but on the other hand, if I traveled to a colony to start a new civilization in the Emperor's name, the F-bomb that I'm used to would come with me.  *shrugs*  I guess could see 38,000 years of varying dialects, accents, and eventual change in language could alter it into any number of other curses.  Ah well...all the more reason to use it while it's still here!   :D

Offline Inkidu

  • E's Resident Girlomancer, Dedicated Philogynist, The Compartive of a Superlative, SLG's Sammich Life-Giver
  • Lord
  • Addict
  • *
  • Join Date: Jul 2008
  • Location: In a staring contest with the Void.
  • Gender: Male
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 0
Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #126 on: May 11, 2013, 05:29:26 PM »
Uhh, not really, no. I find the grimdark thing to be unintentionally hilarious at times, but that's about it. Also, Tau are, to many a fanboys frustration, far from grimdark. I'm a Tau player, first and foremost.
So you like gallows humor. :)

Offline TheGlyphstone

Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #127 on: May 11, 2013, 05:34:25 PM »
Uhh, not really, no. I find the grimdark thing to be unintentionally hilarious at times, but that's about it. Also, Tau are, to many a fanboys frustration, far from grimdark. I'm a Tau player, first and foremost.

Avoid the latest Tau fluff, if you haven't already. GW's been grimdarking the Tau bit by bit since 4th edition or so, between highlighting the oppressiveness of the caste system, implying the Vespid are being mind-controlled into service, obliquely implying mass sterilization of captured human colonies...

Offline Ravien Delapor

Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #128 on: May 11, 2013, 05:38:27 PM »
Avoid the latest Tau fluff, if you haven't already. GW's been grimdarking the Tau bit by bit since 4th edition or so, between highlighting the oppressiveness of the caste system, implying the Vespid are being mind-controlled into service, obliquely implying mass sterilization of captured human colonies...

I knew it!  I knew it the second I saw them!  Nothing looking that clean and smooth in our beloved grim, dark future could possibly be as nice as it appears!  My pro-Tau friends and cousins told me to give them a chance, that they might end up being the solution to some of the universe's problems.  Ha!

Offline Inkidu

  • E's Resident Girlomancer, Dedicated Philogynist, The Compartive of a Superlative, SLG's Sammich Life-Giver
  • Lord
  • Addict
  • *
  • Join Date: Jul 2008
  • Location: In a staring contest with the Void.
  • Gender: Male
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 0
Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #129 on: May 11, 2013, 05:39:54 PM »
Avoid the latest Tau fluff, if you haven't already. GW's been grimdarking the Tau bit by bit since 4th edition or so, between highlighting the oppressiveness of the caste system, implying the Vespid are being mind-controlled into service, obliquely implying mass sterilization of captured human colonies...
Yeah, they're only less grimdark these days because they don't outright torch all aliens immediately, just shove them into concentration camps.

Offline Hemingway

Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #130 on: May 11, 2013, 05:45:07 PM »
I actually like the direction of the Tau. I like the idea that they're not entirely goody two-shoes. I'm also very much partial to Commander Farsight, and the whole divide between Farsight and the Tau Empire. I also hated when they removed Aun'shi, who is not only a kindly old ethereal, but an asskicker at that.

I think the Tau are sort of interesting. Like people from real-world oppressive communist regimes, I think the average Tau probably mean well and genuinely believe in the cause of the Greater Good. I think probably people who don't mind their influence benefit, too. I mean, the case for the Tau is certainly stronger than for the Soviet Union, for instance.

Offline Inkidu

  • E's Resident Girlomancer, Dedicated Philogynist, The Compartive of a Superlative, SLG's Sammich Life-Giver
  • Lord
  • Addict
  • *
  • Join Date: Jul 2008
  • Location: In a staring contest with the Void.
  • Gender: Male
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 0
Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #131 on: May 11, 2013, 05:47:50 PM »
I actually like the direction of the Tau. I like the idea that they're not entirely goody two-shoes. I'm also very much partial to Commander Farsight, and the whole divide between Farsight and the Tau Empire. I also hated when they removed Aun'shi, who is not only a kindly old ethereal, but an asskicker at that.

I think the Tau are sort of interesting. Like people from real-world oppressive communist regimes, I think the average Tau probably mean well and genuinely believe in the cause of the Greater Good. I think probably people who don't mind their influence benefit, too. I mean, the case for the Tau is certainly stronger than for the Soviet Union, for instance.
I always root for humanity. Even if we're utter monsters. :\
What can I say, they're my people.

Offline Ravien Delapor

Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #132 on: May 11, 2013, 05:55:00 PM »
I always root for humanity. Even if we're utter monsters. :\
What can I say, they're my people.

I'm with you.  If humans aren't around, I root for Tzeench.

Offline Inkidu

  • E's Resident Girlomancer, Dedicated Philogynist, The Compartive of a Superlative, SLG's Sammich Life-Giver
  • Lord
  • Addict
  • *
  • Join Date: Jul 2008
  • Location: In a staring contest with the Void.
  • Gender: Male
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 0
Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #133 on: May 11, 2013, 06:24:38 PM »
I'm with you.  If humans aren't around, I root for Tzeench.
And remember: The tau commander thought he had humanity beat he was pushing them back, but suddenly he realized that he was standing on Juggernaut. He went to rally his troops to to destroy the metal monster while he tried to make sense of the situation. Suddenly his men stopped as a whole squad of assault marines ran out from behind the fire-warriors' shadows. The tau commander was perplexed he couldn't believe his great push had been stopped so suddenly. It must have taken some kind of tactical geni--CREEEEEEED!!!

Offline Hemingway

Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #134 on: May 11, 2013, 07:13:53 PM »
Tzeentch we can believe in. Chaos 2016.

Ahem.

In terms of choosing sides, I've been to many places before settling on Tau - sort of. Tau is the largest army I have for 40K. I think I have something like 1500 points worth of them. I also have 500 points of Black Templars lying around, 500 points of Grey Knights, 500 points of Dark Eldar ... if we go even further back, I also have a few units of Blood Angels.

The Tau just appeal to me because they're, like I think I mentioned earlier, the only ones who seem to actually care about tactics. I mean, sure, taking the shortest way toward the enemy is technically a tactic, but Tau are the only ones who employ any kind of sophisticated tactics. The Imperial Guard do it on some level, I suppose. But Tau are the only ones who actually designate targets for other units, support other units, that sort of thing. They're portrayed as a very dynamic combined arms force, who don't rely on ( or can call on ) limitless numbers of soldiers, or who fight to the last man rather than rethink their strategy. Also, drones. Drones are the fricking future, man. I'm thinking of having a very strong drone presence in my current army, just because FRICKING DRONES. Unfortunately, the really cool drones are from Forgeworld, which kinda sucks. Still, I'm almost tempted to getting bombers just so I can get Interceptor drones, because what can possibly be cooler than FRICKING DRONES detatching to intercept enemies? Nothing, that's what!

Unfortunately, fighters may be better overall. Quad Ion Cannon looks tasty for strafing the enemy, and I like the idea of dominating the airspace. Just as long as my enemy doesn't have similar plans, it should be cool...

Online Neysha

Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #135 on: May 11, 2013, 07:36:26 PM »
I may be part of a minority, but I don't find the ork fluff that hilarious.

There's no 1st Amendment in the 40th millenium sirrah...

How dare you feel free to utter such things.

Offline Inkidu

  • E's Resident Girlomancer, Dedicated Philogynist, The Compartive of a Superlative, SLG's Sammich Life-Giver
  • Lord
  • Addict
  • *
  • Join Date: Jul 2008
  • Location: In a staring contest with the Void.
  • Gender: Male
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 0
Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #136 on: May 11, 2013, 08:22:19 PM »
Ooh-ooh!

How many Orks does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer
WAAAAAAAGH!

Offline Ravien Delapor

Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #137 on: May 11, 2013, 08:23:50 PM »
How many Dark Eldar does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer
It puts the lotion on its' skin or else it gets a light bulb screwed into it again.

Offline Inkidu

  • E's Resident Girlomancer, Dedicated Philogynist, The Compartive of a Superlative, SLG's Sammich Life-Giver
  • Lord
  • Addict
  • *
  • Join Date: Jul 2008
  • Location: In a staring contest with the Void.
  • Gender: Male
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 0
Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #138 on: May 11, 2013, 08:26:59 PM »
How many planetary defense force soldiers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer
All of them; dead to a man

Offline Ravien Delapor

Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #139 on: May 11, 2013, 08:30:34 PM »
How many Slaaneshi cultists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer
Ask not how many does it take.  Ask how many will fit.

Offline Inkidu

  • E's Resident Girlomancer, Dedicated Philogynist, The Compartive of a Superlative, SLG's Sammich Life-Giver
  • Lord
  • Addict
  • *
  • Join Date: Jul 2008
  • Location: In a staring contest with the Void.
  • Gender: Male
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 0
Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #140 on: May 11, 2013, 08:32:57 PM »
How many Ultramarines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer
Just one, but he has to consult the Codex Astartes first

Offline TheGlyphstone

Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #141 on: May 11, 2013, 08:38:16 PM »
How many Tau does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Spoiler: Click to Show/Hide
One, but he has to be of the Earth Caste.

Offline Ravien Delapor

Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #142 on: May 11, 2013, 08:39:14 PM »
How many Tech Guard does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer
Are you mad?!?  We do not defile the sacred light projection receptacle by screwing anything into it!  First we must anoint the bulb in thrice-blessed oil, then we must recite the binary chant of Compliance and Appeasement while a chorus of exactly thirteen servitor-cherubs perform a geometric rendition of Lord of the Dance, and THEN we can insert the light bulb into the receptacle, rotating clockwise at a speed of exactly 1.005 rotations per second for precisely 3.4 seconds. Blessed be the Omnissiah, hallowed be the God-in-the-Machine.

Offline TheGlyphstone

Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #143 on: May 11, 2013, 08:44:30 PM »
How many Genestealers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Spoiler: Click to Show/Hide
Can't they see in the DaAARRRRRRRRRRGGHHHHslashslashchompchompchompchitterchitterchitter

Offline Inkidu

  • E's Resident Girlomancer, Dedicated Philogynist, The Compartive of a Superlative, SLG's Sammich Life-Giver
  • Lord
  • Addict
  • *
  • Join Date: Jul 2008
  • Location: In a staring contest with the Void.
  • Gender: Male
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 0
Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #144 on: May 11, 2013, 08:46:25 PM »
How many Space Wolves does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer
Just one: He must screw the wolfbulb into the wolfsocket!

Offline Ravien Delapor

Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #145 on: May 11, 2013, 08:47:35 PM »
How many Sisters of Battle does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer
The archenemy has perverted the light bulb!  KILL IT WITH FIRE, IN THE NAME OF THE EMPEROR!!!!

Offline Inkidu

  • E's Resident Girlomancer, Dedicated Philogynist, The Compartive of a Superlative, SLG's Sammich Life-Giver
  • Lord
  • Addict
  • *
  • Join Date: Jul 2008
  • Location: In a staring contest with the Void.
  • Gender: Male
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 0
Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #146 on: May 11, 2013, 08:49:53 PM »
How many commissars does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer
Variable: How many imperial guardsmen did he have to shoot due to heresy?]/spoiler]

Offline Ravien Delapor

Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #147 on: May 11, 2013, 08:51:07 PM »
How many Inquisitors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer
Three, but since one is Ordo Xenos, one is Ordo Hereticus and one is Ordo Malleus, that light bulb will get stuck in two decades of prosecutions, during which time two hundred bystanders will be called as witnesses, put on trial themselves, found guilty of crimes against one of the Ordos and put to death.

Offline Inkidu

  • E's Resident Girlomancer, Dedicated Philogynist, The Compartive of a Superlative, SLG's Sammich Life-Giver
  • Lord
  • Addict
  • *
  • Join Date: Jul 2008
  • Location: In a staring contest with the Void.
  • Gender: Male
  • My Role Play Preferences
  • View My Rolls
  • Referrals: 0
Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #148 on: May 11, 2013, 08:54:13 PM »
How many God Emperors of Mankind does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer
One, duh...

Offline Ravien Delapor

Re: Crush the Xenos Scum! [40k discussion]
« Reply #149 on: May 11, 2013, 08:55:36 PM »
How many Necrons does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer
One Necron Lord with a Ressurection Orb, at which point all the light bulbs on the planet immediately un-shatter and re-screw into their sockets.