Corrupt a wish

[LilithGardner]

Granted, but good luck finding a tower that supports your Nokia 5135i.

I wish that I had the time and money to travel the world comfortably.

[Samael]

Granted but you're unable to stay at any place for more than 6 hours.

I wish I could invent whatever is needed at the time.

[Mtpersson]

You can invent whatever is needed, but your mind is so advanced that no one else can understand or use your creations. Every world-changing invention gathers dust because humanity just isn't ready.

I wish I could speak and understand all languages.

[Fantasy Nerd]

You can now speak and understand all languages including those of animals, bugs, and insect, which means that you can now never unhear the cry of a dying creature.

[Fantasy Nerd]

Oop. Forgot to have my wish. I wish I knew how to clone myself. (Have fun with this.)

[SepiaSunfury]

Granted.

Unfortunately, your clones are more trouble and more needy than helpful and now you have a large clone family to take care of

I wish for peace.

[imalux]

Granted, however it is only while you sleep.

I wish that I could fly. 

[Observing Trifles]

Granted, but now you're afraid of heights.

I wish I had an oven that instantly makes whatever meal I want.

[LostInTheMist]

Granted, but it produces gamma radiation like the core of a nuclear reactor.

I wish for the ability to shapeshift at will.

[Nyakuni]

Granted, but when your body changes so does your mind, becoming what or whoever you are impersonating completely.

I wish I could be more patient.

[LostInTheMist]

Granted, but you get to exercise that patience a lot more now that everything you schedule starts only after a 5-10 minute wait, whether you show up on time or late.

I wish I could be a famout athlete.

[Samael]

Granted, but 11 out of 12 months you are out of commission with one or another broken bone, pulled muscle, etc.

I wish I had learned to play the piano.

[LostInTheMist]

You can learn the piano, and even have perfect pitch, but you will never play a piano that's in tune.

I wish I could never get sick or injured.

[Observing Trifles]

Granted, but now you're a highly infectious carrier for the common cold, so you get everyone else sick.

I wish I had technology that would automatically fold and store my laundry.

[LostInTheMist]

Granted, but it does all the clothing at once, and it makes no difference whether you are wearing it or not.

I wish my house would reset to pristine cleanliness every night while I was sleeping.

[Samael]

Granted, but it also resets the day at the same time. Welcome to Groundhog's Day.

I wish I could time travel

[LostInTheMist]

Granted, but the organization of men and women in dark suits whose sole job it is to protect the timeline abduct you and lock you in a time-travel proof room to keep you from damaging the timeline.

I wish I could wake up every morning feeling fully rested, like I got just the right amount of sleep.

[Velvet Kitty]

Granted literally. In those exact words. You feel fully rested, but may not actually be rested at all.

I wish for my enemies see all their offspring pass before them. (Is it too dark? )

[Velvet Kitty]

Urgh. Sorry for the typo with no rights to edit...

I wish for my enemies to see all their offspring pass before them.

[Silvered Sutures]

Granted. Most of them are just happy for the financial relief of not having to tend to children.

I wish I was thirteen years younger while keeping all my current life experience. 

[Mnemosyne]

So let it be said, so let it be done! You find yourself a bit more spry, but with knowledge that weighs heavily even on your young heart. You come into great success financially, but you do not trust anyone enough to share your success and slip into paranoia!

I wish I could live in an anxiety free zone!

[LostInTheMist]

Granted. But a little anxiety is a good thing. People never show up on time for anything, or even bother to show up for their jobs, ignore signs and blithely stroll into traffic who are all ignoring the signals. Society collapses and the world burns, and all the while, nobody cares.

I wish I could be the Doctor's next companion.

[Silvered Sutures]

Granted, but this new doctor is notably more liberal with his treatment of his companion and often makes casual askew comments about your appearance for cheap laughs.

I wish I could trade 2% of my remaining lifespan for 2% of my lifetime income. 

[LostInTheMist]

Granted, but you'll be disappointed to find that you're trading away only a few hours.

I wish that I could eat whatever I wanted without any consequences.

[Mnemosyne]

Granted! You can eat absolutely anything you want but the world runs out of sugar, spice, and everything nice! So everything tastes rather bland now.

I wish that I knew how to communicate in a way that didn't overwhelm and frighten men away.