Corrupt a wish

[DisguisedRose]

Granted, but it turns out mint condition just means it smells fresh.

I wish I had the ability to compose music.

[Amina]

Granted, you become the best music composer but you are mute and deaf.

I wish I can understand and speak to animals and insects.

[WordSmith]

Granted,.however you can't communicate to humans anymore. And they think you're crazy, thus send you to a white room for life.

I wish the printer at work worked with effenciency.

[Amina]

Granted, the printer was so efficient that it would automatically print extra copies to make sure you get exactly what you want. Thus finishing all the paper and ink, overworking itself, and never working again.

I wish pollution, pain, and suffering did not exist.

[Amina]

Seems like I said an incorruptible wish. Please, put forth a new wish!!

[Skadii]

I wish that I had a time machine.

[Dice]

I wish pollution, pain, and suffering did not exist.

Congrats. After the atmosphere is stripped away and Earth now looks much like Mars does, all such issues have stopped being a problem and now you can sleep well knowing Humans will be unable to make more.

I wish that I had a time machine.

Granted, you are handed a video camera that captures the current moment in time. Later, when you want to travel back, you will get to watch the video and remember. Sadly the sound does not work though.


I wish my PC had more RAM.

[Sethren]

I wish my PC had more RAM.

Granted, your PC has grown an impressive pair of curled horns and wanders about your home eating all your fabric and paper: carpet, curtains, pieces of furniture, etc. Look at how much it stores away!



I wish I never had to sleep again.

[Adammair]

Granted! You are now awake constantly, never drowsing, eyes open and alert to the never-ending reruns of Lawrence Welk that you watch on TV while others are snoozing.

I wish I never had to work again.

[Skadii]

Your wish is my command. You never have to work again because you fall asleep under an apple tree and a mischievous gang of pixies steal you away to their world and make you their pet.

I wish I could runaway and never come back.

[Adammair]

Your wish is my command. You never have to work again because you fall asleep under an apple tree and a mischievous gang of pixies steal you away to their world and make you their pet.

Surprisingly, I think I might be okay with that.

Granted, you run and run and run far away but never cross the same point twice, until the fabric of space-time unravels due to there being a finite number of points over which to travel.

I wish for a flamethrower to clear the snow and ice from my property.

[Story Tale]

*laughs* Granted and, while your flame vs snow venture does go viral, unfortunately you have to pass on any interviews due to  your extended stay in the burn unit.

I wish my knick knacks and bric a brac were alive (think Beauty in the Beast/Indian in the Cupboard).

[Adammair]

Granted! Your knick knacks become sentient and self-aware, and attempt to take over the world. Unfortunately, due to their small size and relatively inconsequential power, they are left to terrorize the household pets.

I wish for money, power, and fame.

[Story Tale]

Granted, if you look outside you'll see a dump truck unloading pennies onto your driveway. The driver yells out to you that there will be more where that came from after you're done rolling all of them. Thank goodness because after you're done sorting through all the dirty change you'll be able to pay your power bill. Having your power restored allows you to post about your newfound "wealth" on social media and you go viral, though your address gets leaked and soon your driveway is filled with strangers stuffing their pockets with your change.

I wish I had solar panels on my roof.

[Chrysalis]

Granted - but your house is in Longyearbyen (yes, I totally had to google that place)

I wish I could read my dog’s thoughts

[LunarScribe]

Granted - but your house is in Longyearbyen (yes, I totally had to google that place)

I wish I could read my dog’s thoughts

Granted but you realize he has the mind of a serial killer and often thinks of ways to kill you. :3

I wish I could have a stable relationship with a nice dude who is very wealthy.

[ZarkonTheGreat]

Granted - but that dude ends every sentence with a slightly upward inflection so it seems like every sentence is a question.

I wish I could convert video game gold into real gold.

[SilverPaw]

Granted; but so can anyone else, and now gold is so common that it's lost all monetary value!

I wish I was better at motivating myself.

[MrModular]

Granted, and as long as you're not driven utterly insane by your insatiable need to do everything, then the ceaseless inner dialogue will see to the rest.

I wish for a beef wellington, medium rare, and a pour of your house malbec please.

[Saleen Shadows]

Granted, but it's medium rare by a dragons standards as he was your chef and is very proud of his work.

I wish my kitchen sink would just fix itself...

[Stella]

Granted, but it becomes self-aware and only operates when you talk sweet to it.

I wish my garden be always in flower in eternal spring!

[SilverPaw]

Granted; your garden is now frozen in time, and anyone who enters remains trapped within.

I wish my clothes wouldn't wrinkle.

[MrModular]

Granted, your entire wardrobe is made of 100% polyester.

I wish I had knives that never dulled

[FourStellar]

Granted. However, the handles are razor sharp, too.

I wish Comic Sans would fade into oblivion.

[Stella]

Granted, but so does every document that was ever printed using this font.

I wish every loaf of bread I made rose to perfection.