Corrupt a wish

[solkar]

Granted! But now you can’t find your screwdriver or drill.

It worked, thank you so much! Secretly kept the screwdriver though

I wish I could convince myself to work less than 100 hours a week.

Granted, but people got used to you doing all that work and now it starts piling up.



Edit because I forgot to make a new wish:

I wish I had enough time for all the things I need to do.

[Backdraft]

Oh no! My poor patients! Good thing mutual aid exists!

Granted! But you only have time for the things you need to do, not for the things you want to do. 

I wish house chores were fun.

[Merry Gentry]

Granted! they are so much fun you want to do nothing else.  You do your chores, neighbors chores, family's chores! Everyone's!  you have no time for anything else.

I wish I could read minds

[SaintSicaire]

Granted! But you can't turn it off and apparently everybodies inner voice sounds like Gilbert Gottfried. Enjoy.

I wish I had more space in my bookshelf.

[Backdraft]

Granted! But the extra space is always just a smidge too small for any book you want to put in it!

I wish dogs lived as long as humans.

[LunaEternal]

Granted, the lifespan of humans has been dropped to match that of dogs.

I wish I was a shapeshifter.

[Rabbit]

I wish I was a shapeshifter.

Granted, you are now a shapeshifter. Or at least, your shape is shifting, growing ever bigger, ever expanding until you float up into the atmosphere as stratospheric aerosols, permanently cooling the environment, but also resulting in massive famine as your presence in the atmosphere alters the seasonal monsoon rains. Students in school are taught your name as the greatest shapeshifter in history who semi-sort of saved the planet.


I wish I still managed a small, independent bookstore within walking distance of my home.

[Silvered Sutures]

Granted, it's being foreclosed for poor maintenance however.

I wish I could see with my eyes closed.

[Pink Duct Tape]

Wish Granted, but you can only see with the bottom of your toes.

I wish I could have Indian food today.

[Saleen Shadows]

Granted, however, it's the spiciest of the spicy and even a dragon wouldn't envy the fires that you would produce and the hospital is very confused.

I wish I could only take naps and be fully rested as if I slept a full 8 hours.

[RedPhoenix]

Granted! Your naps are so short you always wake up just before the really good part of your dream!

I wish for a perfectly delicious cookie!

[Brokk]

Granted! The cookie that appears is so delicious, the aroma wafts outward from it and you start salivating at the very thought of eating it. It's so attractive that someone else steals it from under your nose before you get a single bite.

I wish for a perfect moment of clarity.

[Im So Tired]

Granted! The moment of clarity revealed that you and everyone you've ever known don't exist and you've been wandering around a nothingness with a clouded mind for your entire life.

I wish for endless youtube videos to watch.

[Annstory]

Granted! You are interrupted by a 30 second unskippable add every 2 minutes.

I wish I knew the answer to every question I am asked.

[RainyHigh]

Granted~ However, you are forced to answer every question you are asked with only the truth, even if you don’t want to.

I wish I could have a robot to clean and dry my dishes.

[imalux]

Granted~ However, you are forced to answer every question you are asked with only the truth, even if you don’t want to.

I wish I could have a robot to clean and dry my dishes.

Granted, unfortunately it stacks the dishes in an increasingly perilous tower instead of putting them in the appropriate cabinet or drawer.

I wish I could talk to animals.

[CyrodilicBrandy]

granted. but all the animals do is just trash talk you. 

i wish i could perfectly remember any piece of academic text i read.

[Samael]

granted, when you think of the texts, they appear as Egyptian hieroglyphs in your mind.

I wish I could travel to other planets

[imalux]

Granted, however, no matter the temperature on that planet you will always be just a little bit uncomfortable. Too warm and you take your jacket off? Too cold. Too cold and you put it back on? Now you're sweating. 

I wish I had the skills to cook any dish I wanted to 

[Observing Trifles]

Granted, but every dish tastes the same.

I wish for a gas tank that refills itself so I don't have to go to the gas station.

[LilithGardner]

Granted, but you now only have an electric vehicle.

I wish that I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

[Samael]

Granted, but the jelly part of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich is jellyfish.

I wish I had a space ship

[imalux]

Granted, however it can't leave the atmosphere. 

I wish I could always have the energy and inspiration to write. 

[LilithGardner]

Granted, but it still isn't enough to keep up with your editor's demands.

I wish I could visit a castle in Ireland.

[Observing Trifles]

Granted, but the castle is haunted.

I wish I had a phone with infinite battery life.