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Author Topic: Perverted Wishes  (Read 89482 times)

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Offline Adammair

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2425 on: March 24, 2012, 11:19:41 AM »
Granted. She dreams about you killing the Lindbergh Baby. Murderer!!! ;D

I wish I could build a robot and put a copy of my consciousness into it, so I could send it to work for me (since I'm just a glorified robot, there, as it is).
« Last Edit: March 24, 2012, 11:29:52 AM by Adammair »

Offline BrokenShards

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2426 on: March 24, 2012, 11:21:27 AM »
Granted, but the robot malfunctions and goes on a murderous rampage, forcing you to flee into hiding.

I wish I could get muster the energy to get out of bed.

Offline Adammair

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2427 on: March 24, 2012, 11:29:18 AM »
Granted. You muster the energy to get out of bed, but as soon as you're out of bed, it leaves you and you fall flat on the floor, unable to get up.

I wish I could build a robot for the sole purpose of going on a murderous rampage, and only I would know where it's on/off switch was.

Offline Kazuume

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2428 on: March 24, 2012, 11:44:55 AM »
Granted however, your finger is stuck to that secret button and it drags you all around with it scraping you up and bruising you horribly.  >:)


I wish for new fat badass tires for my car and a loud ass muffler system.

Offline Adammair

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2429 on: March 24, 2012, 11:57:12 AM »
Granted. However, the genie misheard you and instead gives you loud ass tires and a fat badass muffler system.

I wish for a new paintjob for my car to match the bumper (blindingly white, by the way).

Offline Kazuume

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2430 on: March 24, 2012, 12:04:56 PM »
Granted! But now your car glows in the dark and attracts every mosquito in the county.


I wish there was more candy on my desk.

Offline Flaming

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2431 on: March 24, 2012, 03:10:27 PM »
Granted but you can't eat them cause they are too sugarish

I wish I had weekends of three days

Offline Veluux

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2432 on: March 25, 2012, 03:10:08 AM »
Granted, but this makes your year 52 days longer, and you are still 20 years from retirement.

I wish I never had to work.

Offline Adammair

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2433 on: March 25, 2012, 03:21:02 AM »
Granted, but you become overweight and lazy from lack of physical exercise, and you lose that sculpted gladiatorial physique. ;D

I wish for a gladiator's physique.

Offline Veluux

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2434 on: March 25, 2012, 03:45:19 AM »
Granted. The gods gave you the one I neglected... but you are slain in an alley of Rome shortly after winning your Rhudus (sp?).

I wish I didn't have to think of another wish.

Offline Undeniable Sin

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2435 on: March 26, 2012, 01:20:49 PM »
Granted, but now you  get a magic lamp in the mail and can't think of what to ask for.

I wish I had a size 4 body. Not too little, not too big.

Offline Veluux

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2436 on: March 28, 2012, 03:59:01 AM »
Granted, except it's a corpse and stuffed in the back of your trunk by someone trying to frame you for murder.

I wish I had X-ray vision... (is it bad if I regretted my wish while I was typing it? Haha.)

Offline Flaming

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2437 on: March 28, 2012, 06:53:24 AM »
Granted, now you are able to see the bones of pretty ladies, but not their skin, so no more strip clubs for you

I wish I was a strip club owner

Offline Adammair

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2438 on: March 28, 2012, 08:56:57 AM »
Granted. You now own a strip mall. (Sorry, gotta clean the wax out of my ears. ;D )

I wish I knew how to fly an airplane.

Offline Undeniable Sin

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2439 on: March 28, 2012, 02:17:46 PM »
Granted. On your first solo flight, a bad storm hits, you crash and are now stranded on an island of murderous amazonian women.

 I wish I didn't have fumble fingers today.

Offline Flaming

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2440 on: March 28, 2012, 04:02:21 PM »
Grunted, sticky fingers for you. The first thing you grab is glued to your hand.

I wish I were spiderman

Online Captain Maltese

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2441 on: April 08, 2012, 02:56:08 PM »
You are spiderman. Ten seconds from now you will meet a REAL spiderwoman.

I wish I had a sailship.

Offline Sasquatch421

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2442 on: April 08, 2012, 03:08:07 PM »
You get a sailship, unfortunately you are then raided by the ATF and found to have stolen weapons on board.

I wish I would win the lottery.

Offline Flaming

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2443 on: April 09, 2012, 04:54:57 AM »
You do, now a lot of people bothers you for your money and you have no friends anymore

I wish there were no lotteries

Offline Rubicon

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2444 on: May 07, 2012, 03:52:29 PM »
Granted! Unfortunately, the different states that fund their educational programs with those lotteries elect not to replace that funding, causing schools all over the nation to eliminate most of their non-sports curriculum.

I wish everyone reading this had a really, really good week.

Offline Tsumi Okazaki

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2445 on: May 12, 2012, 01:10:54 PM »
Granted. The best week of their life will be just before they die.

I wish I could manipulate plants at will.

Online Captain Maltese

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2446 on: May 12, 2012, 03:50:29 PM »
You can. Pity you live on the moon, without much water or earth.

I wish I could make people happy.

Offline Tsumi Okazaki

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2447 on: May 12, 2012, 03:58:17 PM »
Wish granted. However they are happy when you leave.

I wish i could manipulate gravity at will

Offline Flaming

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2448 on: May 29, 2012, 03:07:47 PM »
Granted, now you need to always keep concentration otherwise the world will fall apart. Don't go to sleep...

I wish I could ignore gravity

Online Captain Maltese

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #2449 on: June 03, 2012, 08:15:33 AM »
You are now tied to a very big helium balloon. Bye bye... gravity too.

I wish I could hit a target with eyes closed, and I don't mean after lining it up with my eyes open.