Corrupt a wish

[LostInTheMist]

Granted. Unfortunately the timeline works out in such a way that you die shortly after and don't get to enjoy the resulting world. 

Worth it.

Granted, but all your arms are immobile prosthetics, and you can only wear two of them at a time. If you can figure out how to put them on in the first place.

[Silvered Sutures]

Granted... wait... you forgot to wish for something so I just gave myself a million dollars instead. 

I wish it was april 2029 already.

[Samael]

Granted, but it will ONLY be April 2029. Forever.

I wish I could draw

[Mnemosyne]

Granted, um... you could always draw... but... now you can only draw a gun. (( Do you need art therapy? Neon paint party? I believe in you !!! <3 ))

I wish I could be a philanthropist and offer art therapy to the masses for free with plenty of art supplies!

[Mnemosyne]

hmmm hmm will corrupt my own wishhhhh I spose?

Wish granted, however nooooooo one wants to come to the art therapy because no one knows who you are. ~

New Wish :: 

I wish that I could have some gelato while dipping footsies in water.

[Samael]

Wish granted, but you will only have gelato while you touch water. Any other time it just vanishes from between your hands.

I wish I could time travel and fix mistakes in my past.

[Mnemosyne]

Sneaky cheeky gelato.....

Wish granted for you!!!! However... for every mistake you correct, a new fully grown Hitler arrives in the present day!

Ooops right I must make a wish...

I wish that everyone on earth was trapped in the education system until they were actually educated, and for every time they cheat to try to prove they are educated they lose a limb!

[Coven of Corvids]

Your wish is granted! 

However, as the saying goes, you can lead a man to knowledge but you can't make him think. And since you can't leave until you meet the minimum standards, the education system is swiftly clogged with people who can't or won't learn, and are unable to pursue their non-academic talents elsewhere. As the demand for educators grows, a vicious cycle ensues: ever more teachers teaching an ever-growing pool of those who've proven unteachable. The economy never recovers. 

I wish I was a powerful sorceress. 

[Silvered Sutures]

Granted, you're a powerful sorceress by the standards of the witch hunt and are about to be burnt at the stake.

I wish we had stricter population control. 

[LostInTheMist]

Granted, but population is controlled by only allowing women who don't want children to have them.

I wish I could turn visible/invisible at will.

[Coven of Corvids]

Your wish is granted. Yet slowly but surely, you begin to notice a subtle, escalating change in the way that people treat you. It's almost as if they like you more when they can't see you. It feels insecure and petty to call them out on it. But you just can't shake the feeling. And so, even though you can change whenever you want to at will, it becomes your choice to remain invisible, until so much time passes that you forget what you even looked like to begin with. 

Alas, you're all far too ambitious. I wish for but a single safe and reassuring hug. 

[lunch punk]

Granted, but you'll never have another. This is your final hug. The reassurance will hold, warm and lasting, but the echo of that touch will haunt you 'til your end. A lifetime of comfort exchanged into the bargain for endless, nagging want.


I wish we'd all just get along.

[Silvered Sutures]

Granted, everyone on earth agrees that they hate you, specifically. 

I wish every plant was as hardy as a potato. 

[Coven of Corvids]

Your wish is granted. Alas, Earth's flora comes to imitate the humble potato not just in terms of hardiness, but everything else too. Every jungle, every forest, every field, every park... even every balcony garden or inner-city green space goes from a riot of colours and biodiversity to an ugly, soil-dusted clump. Humanity swiftly loses its love of nature, seeing little more than a uniform mass, and in the process gives up on the places most in need of protecting. 

I wish for an infinite cheese wheel that never spoils, never gains a bad smell, never develops a funny taste, and never attracts pests (I include other humans who desire cheese within that category). 

[Observing Trifles]

Granted, but the cheese in question is the one type of cheese you truly dislike, so the cheese wheel is useless to you. (This is incredibly tragic, as I would also love an infinite cheese wheel.)

I wish I had a portal in my house that led straight to the beach so I don't have to drive an hour or more to the coast whenever I want to see the ocean.

[LostInTheMist]

Granted, but when the tide comes in, your house fills up with sea water and marine life.

I wish all forms of malaria were eradicated. (I'd say mosquitoes, but mosquitoes are important at the bottom of the ecosystem for things like small fishes that eat the eggs, and spiders that eat the mosquitoes.) So I'll stick with eradicating malaria.

[lunch punk]

Granted, but the parasites were holding back the next evolutionary stage of the mosquitos. Now we have bigger problems...

I wish humanity had discovered faster-than-light travel before I was born.

[Silvered Sutures]

Granted, humanity rocketed itself into the sun before you were—and thus you were never—born.

I wish fire was spicy. 

[angelicpuppy]

Granted, but now all spicy foods catch on fire... making it impossible to eat them.

I wish I could shapeshift into a dragon at will.

[Dasha]

Granted, you'll be able to shapeshift into komodo dragon whenever you want, but there's no way to turn back.

I wish the next person would write their message in CAPS.

[LostInTheMist]

Sorry. I don't know how to write in N-cyclohexyl-3-aminopropanesulfonic acid. (I found the most esoteric interpretation of "CAPS" as I could.)

I wish that I could move everything I want to move from here to my new apartment without any effort or damage to either my property or my apartment.

[Dasha]

Granted. But everything is wrapped. Every single item in the house. Every book you own, every computer component. Each individual paperclip, coin, button, rice grain - all wrapped.

I wish to type super fast without mistakes. Like, as fast as keyboard can handle.

[Xyza]

Granted! You now type at inhuman speeds — faster than the keyboard, faster than the screen refresh, faster than reality can register. Unfortunately, your keyboard constantly melts, unable to keep up with your blazing fingers.

I wish to always say the perfect thing at the perfect time.

[Samael]

Granted - But you'll constantly keep going to the point people wander off.

Picking up that theme of yours, I want to be able to find the perfect solution to every problem

[Xyza]

Baaahhh! They're gone even if what I said was perfect. Anyway, your wish is granted. You always find the perfect solution… Exactly 24 hours after it's no longer needed. xD

Maintaining the theme. I wish to always come up with the perfect plan.