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Author Topic: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View  (Read 102170 times)

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Offline Remiel

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1050 on: January 27, 2015, 12:09:09 PM »
Thank you, Rhedyn, for starting this blog, and for allowing others to use it to make their own lives a little better, as well as those of us who read along. I find it helpful to know that there are so many understanding people out in the Elliquiy community who offer support, and the acknowledgement that someone who 'talks' here has been heard by someone else. Above all else, regardless of your starting this blog, you, along with everyone else who has posted here, are a terrific person who has value, and many good things to bringto the world, and everyone in it. Never forget you are special, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

+1

I agree with marauder.  I feel like people who suffer from depression, or mental illness in general, don't really have a voice.  We need to band together and fight the stigma of "oh, it's all in your head, just walk it off."   

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1051 on: January 29, 2015, 05:19:50 AM »
May your 'deranged horse ride' be over sooner than later.

Also, I am not sure that I have done this, and if I have then it wont hurt to do it again.

Thank you, Rhedyn, for starting this blog, and for allowing others to use it to make their own lives a little better, as well as those of us who read along. I find it helpful to know that there are so many understanding people out in the Elliquiy community who offer support, and the acknowledgement that someone who 'talks' here has been heard by someone else. Above all else, regardless of your starting this blog, you, along with everyone else who has posted here, are a terrific person who has value, and many good things to bringto the world, and everyone in it. Never forget you are special, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

+1

I agree with marauder.  I feel like people who suffer from depression, or mental illness in general, don't really have a voice.  We need to band together and fight the stigma of "oh, it's all in your head, just walk it off."   

Thank you! I'm feeling a lot happier and more balanced now. The horse has finally calmed   ;)

I would say that it was my pleasure though honestly at the time I just had to voice how I was feeling away from the people I know offline. The support has been amazing and in itself just knowing that there are so many people that understand and can relate in some way even if they never post here helps so much. Every time I see that green monster in people signatures I smile and feel a little less invisible.

I like to think that people are starting to find their voices and that the slow walk to acceptance among the masses has at least started but it's hard. I really do believe that it's important for people to reach out and connect with others who understand, people who aren't going to say things that bring with them this feeling of being crazy, ungrateful and wrong for feeling the way we do. Hopefully though things like this can help. I feel that if sharing my experiences can help just one person find their voice and feel connected then it's worth it.

I used to be ashamed of my depression and thought it meant I was a weak person, I know that's not true now.

Offline Arreis

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1052 on: January 29, 2015, 12:11:26 PM »
I just joined this site recently, and just found this blog so I feel like I may be commenting a little late, but I just wanted to say that this blog was a great idea and it's nice knowing you aren't the only who has struggled with, or are still struggling with, depression. For me, there was a confusing circle of abuse going on, the mental/emotional sort so nothing could be proved, and since 5th grade when I was diagnosed ADD I had trouble sleeping, I sometimes felt alone, and getting up was hard. On top of that, the medication made me feel off, like I wasn't myself and my head was foggy but I could still think, but I had trouble articulating what I felt and for years it was an uphill battle. I only found out last year that I was depressed and I didn't even know it. Right now, now that I've distanced myself from my adopted dad who I think was the cause of it, and I'm back in touch with my mom, and I've got a wonderful fiancee who I know is always there for me I feel like I might be recovering. Partially because my ADD isn't quite as bad as it was. But you never really know. It can sneak up on you and you may not even know that's what's wrong with you. >< This ended up longer than I'd intended. So, long story short, thank you Rhedyn for this blog. Once I'm approved and I can have a signature that little green monster will definitely be in it.

Offline Remiel

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1053 on: January 29, 2015, 12:25:52 PM »
I used to be ashamed of my depression and thought it meant I was a weak person, I know that's not true now.

I think, that if there was one message that anyone reading this thread should walk away with, this would be it.       There are many causes of depression, but the end result is the same: a feeling of worthlessness, lack of self-worth, despair, hopelessness, and lack of motivation or will to change anything.    We all need to realize that people who suffer from these symptoms are not weak or defective people.

When people have diabetes or similar conditions requiring medical treatment, we don't think any less of them for it.  Why should we think any less of people who suffer from problems in their brains instead of their bodies?

Offline steele

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1054 on: January 30, 2015, 01:07:46 AM »
Hi everyone.
This is definitely a great thread. I tried to read all of them for the most part. I have suffered depression bad enough to be baker acted a few times. That was in the past. I wont let myself venture that way again.  I had two ways I have come up with to define true depression.
1. Its like trying to claw your way out of a grave and the dirt is so soft you get no where but closer to death.
2. Your hungry and you haven't eaten in days. The world is an open buffet but you can't find anything you like on the menu.

That being said I have tried damn near every drug available. Not painkillers, they only drag you down further. My savior is free it's good heavy dose of direct sunlight.. if you cant get out at first. Open the blinds, doors, windows and brighten it up. I swear it works for me everytime.
I Hope this benefits someone in darkness... I'm a mentor for an online world wide support site..Anyone please feel free to PM me anytime.


Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1055 on: January 30, 2015, 05:34:32 AM »
I just joined this site recently, and just found this blog so I feel like I may be commenting a little late, but I just wanted to say that this blog was a great idea and it's nice knowing you aren't the only who has struggled with, or are still struggling with, depression. For me, there was a confusing circle of abuse going on, the mental/emotional sort so nothing could be proved, and since 5th grade when I was diagnosed ADD I had trouble sleeping, I sometimes felt alone, and getting up was hard. On top of that, the medication made me feel off, like I wasn't myself and my head was foggy but I could still think, but I had trouble articulating what I felt and for years it was an uphill battle. I only found out last year that I was depressed and I didn't even know it. Right now, now that I've distanced myself from my adopted dad who I think was the cause of it, and I'm back in touch with my mom, and I've got a wonderful fiancee who I know is always there for me I feel like I might be recovering. Partially because my ADD isn't quite as bad as it was. But you never really know. It can sneak up on you and you may not even know that's what's wrong with you. >< This ended up longer than I'd intended. So, long story short, thank you Rhedyn for this blog. Once I'm approved and I can have a signature that little green monster will definitely be in it.

It's never too late! Welcome! Thank you for stopping by and congrats on your approval! It can be very difficult to realise what it is, especially when you are dealing with it. I started struggling with depression in my late teens and it wasn't until I had post natal depression in my twenties that I realised that I had been struggling with depression for so long. The post natal depression was a more pronounced and, at the time, extreme form of what I had been trying to muddle through for years.

I think, that if there was one message that anyone reading this thread should walk away with, this would be it.       There are many causes of depression, but the end result is the same: a feeling of worthlessness, lack of self-worth, despair, hopelessness, and lack of motivation or will to change anything.    We all need to realize that people who suffer from these symptoms are not weak or defective people.

When people have diabetes or similar conditions requiring medical treatment, we don't think any less of them for it.  Why should we think any less of people who suffer from problems in their brains instead of their bodies?

I absolutely agree!

Hi everyone.
This is definitely a great thread. I tried to read all of them for the most part. I have suffered depression bad enough to be baker acted a few times. That was in the past. I wont let myself venture that way again.  I had two ways I have come up with to define true depression.
1. Its like trying to claw your way out of a grave and the dirt is so soft you get no where but closer to death.
2. Your hungry and you haven't eaten in days. The world is an open buffet but you can't find anything you like on the menu.

That being said I have tried damn near every drug available. Not painkillers, they only drag you down further. My savior is free it's good heavy dose of direct sunlight.. if you cant get out at first. Open the blinds, doors, windows and brighten it up. I swear it works for me everytime.
I Hope this benefits someone in darkness... I'm a mentor for an online world wide support site..Anyone please feel free to PM me anytime.



Thank you for your thoughts and insight, steele. Sunlight can definitely help as can forcing yourself to get out for a walk. Usually when I'm down if I can make myself walk I end up crying while I'm walking, it seems to be a good way for me to get the emotions flowing and released no matter how deep down they're buried  :-)

Offline Oniya

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1056 on: January 30, 2015, 06:25:19 AM »
That being said I have tried damn near every drug available. Not painkillers, they only drag you down further. My savior is free it's good heavy dose of direct sunlight.. if you cant get out at first. Open the blinds, doors, windows and brighten it up. I swear it works for me everytime.
I Hope this benefits someone in darkness... I'm a mentor for an online world wide support site..Anyone please feel free to PM me anytime.

There has been scientific research supporting this as a way of improving serotonin levels in certain kinds of depression.  It's definitely on my list of 'can't hurt, might help' recommendations.

Offline Remiel

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1057 on: January 30, 2015, 11:29:03 AM »
In my experience, sometimes exercise tends to help too.

Offline steele

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1058 on: January 30, 2015, 11:52:54 AM »
Actually any positive effort that is put forward no matter how miniscule it may seem will benefit in the end. When the depression is upon us. We have to remember what we achieved not what we didnt. No matter what it was it was 100% more productive than wasting away in bed or on the couch. It's the little things that are crucial in finding the escape panel, it cant be reached from the bedside or laying for hours in front of the TV. I realizie now more than ever that is easier said than done. But the effort cannot be dismissed. I have gone in 4 years of being pretty damn healthy to a shell.. I could do 50 pullups 3 times a day at age 48. Now at 52 I struggle for one every other day..But I still put forth that effort just for that one. And I smile like hell once I get it.

Offline DarknessBorne

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1059 on: January 30, 2015, 11:54:11 AM »
Thank you for your thoughts and insight, steele. Sunlight can definitely help as can forcing yourself to get out for a walk. Usually when I'm down if I can make myself walk I end up crying while I'm walking, it seems to be a good way for me to get the emotions flowing and released no matter how deep down they're buried  :-)

Ain't that the truth.  It's a shitty paradox: when you least feel like getting off your ass and going inside and getting that sunlight and exercise, is when you most need to.

Offline DarknessBorne

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1060 on: January 30, 2015, 11:58:47 AM »
Ain't that the truth.  It's a shitty paradox: when you least feel like getting off your ass and going inside and getting that sunlight and exercise, is when you most need to.

Oops...should have said going outside.  Can't edit posts for some reason.

Offline Oniya

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1061 on: January 30, 2015, 12:04:06 PM »
Even sitting inside by a bright sunny window will help with the mood-lightening effects.  That may give enough of a boost to get you outside to do the 'moving around' bit.

Offline Verasaille

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1062 on: January 30, 2015, 05:05:05 PM »
Just thought I would add this. It seemed like a very nice signature in case anyone likes it.


Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1063 on: January 31, 2015, 07:37:58 AM »
Ain't that the truth.  It's a shitty paradox: when you least feel like getting off your ass and going inside and getting that sunlight and exercise, is when you most need to.

Oops...should have said going outside.  Can't edit posts for some reason.

So true.

Offline Whimsical

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1064 on: February 01, 2015, 02:15:27 PM »
I had so much I wanted to say...

Rhedyn... thank you for this. It helps me, too.

Offline Verasaille

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1065 on: February 01, 2015, 04:01:20 PM »
Not sure if this will help anyone, but I found it very worthwhile to look through and think about.

http://higherperspective.com/2015/01/30-things-stop.html

Offline Remiel

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1066 on: February 02, 2015, 12:13:11 PM »
Not sure if this will help anyone, but I found it very worthwhile to look through and think about.

http://higherperspective.com/2015/01/30-things-stop.html

This is good stuff.  Thanks, Verasaille.

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1067 on: February 02, 2015, 12:20:35 PM »
I had so much I wanted to say...

Rhedyn... thank you for this. It helps me, too.

I'm glad it does, Whimsical ~hugs~

Not sure if this will help anyone, but I found it very worthwhile to look through and think about.

http://higherperspective.com/2015/01/30-things-stop.html

Thanks for sharing, Verasaille! That was a good read.

Offline metallliclimbs

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1068 on: February 16, 2015, 11:56:07 PM »
I was reading over this, and I couldn't help connect in a way. As I too suffer from my own depression and ptsd. I haven't slept good in a long time. I haven't functioned well in forever. I can't recall, and I know that it's not right. The lack of energy, the drive to do anything. As I myself try to keep from sinking deeper. I have my good days and I have my bad days. I tired of being tired all the time. I am tired of always being always alert. I know that I am not over there anymore, and I know that I'm safe. I don't have to wince when I go under or over overpasses. I don't have to look at a piece of a trash on the side of the road and wonder if that this is just trash and or an ied. I know but I can't help it... I  feel broken. It's effecting everything, my day to day activities my energy, how I sleep.

So yes I feel like I connect. So thank you for posting this.

Offline steele

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1069 on: February 17, 2015, 08:52:56 AM »
Hi Metalliclimbs

I'm sure you have discussed this with the VA doctors..if not please do. What your going through is pure hell. Everything that you grew up trusting has been completely twisted. Believe me people that have never witnessed real combat. It is something that cannot be washed away with a pill. When you come back to this great Country of ours, Your still scared to death , you keep seeing and reliving the same scenes over and over in your head,and you have to learn to trust anything or anyone all over again. Back in my heydays it was a little easier to bring yourself back to normality..But I feel for every soldier that has to come back now or in the future, and try to regain their senses in this new world.. with gangs, random drive-by shootings, kids with guns in school, I could go on and on.. When my groups came back it was just trying to adapt back to what we were used to .. You will never get used to these new criminal activities that present themselves daily.
I pray for you ML and all the others suffering from PTSD to seek outside help, it is conquerable, and you can get your life back.

Offline Verasaille

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1070 on: February 17, 2015, 02:00:57 PM »
I will pray for all of you. Please know that there are many people who have compassion and love for the soldiers who do so much to serve this great country. By all means seek out help. The VA is your best bet, even though they are far from perfect. I do believe PTSD is a whole other ballgame from chronic depression. That does not mean it is not just as hard to deal with.

You will need a councilor  and professional help, but it is out there. Salvation Army, VFW and other organisations also can help you. Contact them online even and you can find someone near you that can help you readjust to life. Don't try to tough through it alone.

 http://maketheconnection.net/conditions/ptsd?gclid=Cj0KEQiA6ounBRCq0LKBjKGgysEBEiQAZmpvA5VP17ApCy1Ycvlo_F3pP5vACG-DiBrt4pHmFkOsbeYaAlWf8P8HAQ


You have friends who care, here if nothing else.

Offline Whimsical

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1071 on: February 17, 2015, 03:16:06 PM »
Quote
“I have the choice of being constantly active and happy or introspectively passive and sad. Or I can go mad by ricocheting in between.”
—    
Sylvia Plath,

The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

A quote from a fellow Tumblr named Shadow-Writer:

"Seasonal depression is a sucker punch to a person who is otherwise emotionally healthy. You’re never ready for it, you can’t understand it, and once you’re down and doubled over with pain, you don’t know what to do about it.

There are good days, plenty of them, when you’re preoccupied, productive and able to enjoy life, even during a season you detest. Then there are days that you know, almost immediately upon waking, will go south real quick if you don’t make a gargantuan effort to turn things around. For me, that almost always involves physical activity. I’ll even snowshoe if I have to if it means staying sane. And I’ve had to.

The worst days are the days when you just don’t have the wherewithal to make an effort. When you can’t muster a lick of motivation and your reserve tank of optimism has run dry. You’re scared, vacillating between feeling like you barely having a pulse to your heart pounding halfway through your ribcage.

These are the days that you wait. For a change in the tide, a peek of sun. Some fucking thing, anything, besides the weight of this monster in your lap. Intellectually you understand that eventually, the metaphorical tide will go out and you will get that peek of sun, and unlike was the case with poor Sylvia, any thoughts resembling sticking your head in an oven and ending it all will never materialize.

And sometimes when you wait, you write it out. You don’t expect to feel better, exactly. You just want to feel some fucking thing, anything, besides the weight of this monster in your lap."


I am hoping that this isn't "too" negative, as I wanted this to be more positive. I'm sure there are some of us that clearly identify with this... I'm thinking of you, too.... always.


Offline Remiel

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1072 on: February 17, 2015, 03:38:00 PM »
I was reading over this, and I couldn't help connect in a way. As I too suffer from my own depression and ptsd. I haven't slept good in a long time. I haven't functioned well in forever. I can't recall, and I know that it's not right. The lack of energy, the drive to do anything. As I myself try to keep from sinking deeper. I have my good days and I have my bad days. I tired of being tired all the time. I am tired of always being always alert. I know that I am not over there anymore, and I know that I'm safe. I don't have to wince when I go under or over overpasses. I don't have to look at a piece of a trash on the side of the road and wonder if that this is just trash and or an ied. I know but I can't help it... I  feel broken. It's effecting everything, my day to day activities my energy, how I sleep.

So yes I feel like I connect. So thank you for posting this.

I feel for you, metalliclimbs.  Thank you for making the ultimate sacrifice.  Please try to make use of the resources that verasaille pointed out.  We want you to be happy.

Offline Dimir

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1073 on: February 17, 2015, 08:17:55 PM »
I was reading over this, and I couldn't help connect in a way. As I too suffer from my own depression and ptsd. I haven't slept good in a long time. I haven't functioned well in forever. I can't recall, and I know that it's not right. The lack of energy, the drive to do anything. As I myself try to keep from sinking deeper. I have my good days and I have my bad days. I tired of being tired all the time. I am tired of always being always alert. I know that I am not over there anymore, and I know that I'm safe. I don't have to wince when I go under or over overpasses. I don't have to look at a piece of a trash on the side of the road and wonder if that this is just trash and or an ied. I know but I can't help it... I  feel broken. It's effecting everything, my day to day activities my energy, how I sleep.

So yes I feel like I connect. So thank you for posting this.

Metalliclimbs, thank you for the service you performed and the sacrifices you made for your nation. You deserve the utmost treatment, care and respect. I truly hope that you get better.

Offline metallliclimbs

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1074 on: February 17, 2015, 10:37:27 PM »
Thank you all for the well wishes. Yes I am going to VA for help. I thought I had kicked the ptsd years ago. I had gotten it all under control. Everything, and then I deployed a second time. I was fine for awhile, and then it all came back. The lack of sleep, the hyper vigilance, every thing. And for the person who posted about PTSD and Depression being two different things. I have been diagnosed with both. So yes I do know the difference of the two. I have my good days and I have my bad days. My good days are the days where I only wake up once or twice in the middle of the night. Where as the worse ones, where I wake up, and I can recall the bad stuff that happened. The smell of burning flesh of someone I once knew who burned to death cause they couldn't get him out. How I can't eat certain foods cause the sensations cause me to have an instant flash back. Certain musics, still bother me. I can't even listen to Muslim Call to prayer because of the experiences i had dealt with. I still cringe and wait for the mortars to drop, the sirens to go off. The rounds to come cracking past my head.

I just wish they had taught us how to turn it off when we came back. No all we got was class after class about don't beat your wife, girlfriend, dog, or whatever. Don't do sexual harassment. Don't go trying to pick fights things like that.