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Author Topic: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View  (Read 101984 times)

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Online Cassandra LeMay

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1025 on: October 22, 2014, 11:22:56 AM »
No kind of relationship can be all one-way.  It simply doesn't work.  There always has to be give and take, in any kind of relationship.  If you find that you're giving and giving and not getting anything in return, it may be time to let that relationship go.
I would like to add a thought to that, approaching it from a slightly different angle.

Do people who could give something back actually realize that they should perhaps give something back? If someone always comes across as "strong" or "heroic" it is easy to think of them as not requiring the appreciation, or perhaps even help, they might sometimes want or need. After all, isn't giving without wanting something in return, doing things just because they are the right thing to do, part of how most people would define a "hero"?

It can be easy to forget that you shouldn't just take, but also give something back, when selflessness is what people see as your prime motivation. They might even believe that you are happy with just the knowledge that you have done a good thing and that that is the end of the matter for you.

Now, I am not saying that you should "bill" people for what you do for them in a figurative, emotional sense, but how certain are you that the people you expect something from actually understand how much it would mean to you if you received something in return? Are you at least strongly hinting at your own needs now and then, or do you expect them to be telepaths and know what you need and when you need them? (The latter is a bit of a drastic way of putting it, I admit, but exaggeration can help make a point.)

Offline Dallas

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1026 on: November 10, 2014, 12:41:25 AM »
I am never really completely honest about my big problem. The ones in my life I've mentioned before haven't been aware until recently, as it's been scary for me.

Typically when someone asks me what's wrong I belittle it. The problem in point I would deflect with "I'm coping with loss," or "I'm dealing with death." Something like that tends to let people know it's serious, but that's all. I was brutally honest about it with one that has been really... careless, even though they put on airs that they did care.

"Hey, man. What's wrong with you?"

Very calmly, I replied "I'm sick and I could die from it."

Maybe my heart is turning into stone, but there was just something liberating about being that honest about it.

Offline Night Stalker

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1027 on: December 14, 2014, 08:58:51 PM »
Leaves lots of hugs and good thoughts for all

Offline Nihil

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1028 on: December 15, 2014, 05:11:21 PM »
Hello. This caught my eye because... I have chronic depression. I don't have much to say, just give hugs to everyone and hope you the best. It's a surprise, finding all this people so... similar to me in some ways. Maybe some day I will be confident enough to share my experience with you too.

More hugs and love. I can see you are all strong people ;3

Online marauder13

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1029 on: December 15, 2014, 05:34:45 PM »
Hello. This caught my eye because... I have chronic depression. I don't have much to say, just give hugs to everyone and hope you the best. It's a surprise, finding all this people so... similar to me in some ways. Maybe some day I will be confident enough to share my experience with you too.

More hugs and love. I can see you are all strong people ;3

Hi Nihil.

The one thing you will find with the people here on Elliquiy are that they are very welcoming, and understanding of other people's differences, and life experiences. I too have chronic depression, so I may have some idea of some of the challenges you face. But, it's different for everyone in my experience. I shall send hugs your way too, along with my best wishes.

Please, don't forget that you are a strong person too.

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1030 on: December 15, 2014, 05:36:50 PM »
Sometimes there is strength in simply getting up and saying 'Today, I live.'

Offline Dallas

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1031 on: December 15, 2014, 08:47:58 PM »
I'm unsure if I suffer from chronic depression or identity loss.

Can one be fighting both?

I'm too stubborn to quit, much as it seems easy to do.

Offline Lrrr

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1032 on: December 20, 2014, 08:13:55 PM »
This isn't terribly eloquent, but it is from the heart and a personal point of view.

I've dealt with treatment resistant depression since I was about 20 years old - almost 40 years now.  It comes and goes in waves of varying severity.  I've learned to put on a happy face and forge through my days when I can.  I've never learned to cope with it when it is at its worst.

I've sought help and seen dozens of professionals in related fields.  I've been prescribed just about every anti-depressant and related anti-anxiety medication at one time or another.  Some produced seizures, some helped a bit, but none help enough - even in combinations.

I can tell you precisely when I have fallen as low as it is possible for me to be.  Twice I found time slipping away until there was only the present ... no yesterday and no tomorrow.  There was only the instant in which I was living.

Movement requires time so all was still - even my heart seemed to stop beating.

Without time, thoughts of how things will get better are impossible.  There is just the emptiness of existence without time progressing.  With no time there can be no concept of hope and indeed, the personal hell of those two periods consisted mostly of lack of hope.

I was lucky to be hospitalized during both of those instances or I may not have survived to write this.  I'm currently fighting a rather severe wave of depression once more although so far I've managed to avoid the lowest levels of blackness.

I'd like to leave one thought for those who battle the demon depression.  Even when all hope is gone there is still hope.  It makes no sense when one is actually in the timeless crucible, but it has been my salvation when I know what purgatory is coming, and again when I am recovering from it.  Never doubt that hope will see you through whatever comes your way.

Offline Lucifer P

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1033 on: December 21, 2014, 04:28:25 AM »


Offline Verasaille

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1034 on: December 21, 2014, 06:57:21 PM »
That last was very beautiful. Thank you for the song and the pictures.

I suffer from depression as well. Mostly because I am getting older and I feel like my life no longer has purpose. I am taking care of my mother. And I feel I need to be here for her. Though at times it is hard to deal with watching her deteriorate, knowing I am not far behind.

Family is scattered all over the country. Never was close to any of them anyway. But being alone and lonely at this time of year is very hard.

Offline Lrrr

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1035 on: December 21, 2014, 09:54:10 PM »
That last was very beautiful. Thank you for the song and the pictures.

I suffer from depression as well. Mostly because I am getting older and I feel like my life no longer has purpose. I am taking care of my mother. And I feel I need to be here for her. Though at times it is hard to deal with watching her deteriorate, knowing I am not far behind.

Family is scattered all over the country. Never was close to any of them anyway. But being alone and lonely at this time of year is very hard.

It is hard to be alone this time of year.  If you can, seek out people who are willing to share their kindness and lives.  Volunteering is a great way to find others with whom you can laugh and rekindle the flame of life which has burned low for you.  The library, local schools, or even hospitals usually welcome volunteers with open arms.  I know your mother probably takes up a great deal of your time, but if you can manage it, spend some time with others and you may discover it is one of the best mood boosters for you.

If nothing else, the Elliquiy community cares about and welcomes you.  Perhaps the roleplays you are involved with can help you discover the larger world outside you and your mother.  Hugs to you and best wishes for your holidays!   :-)

Offline Verasaille

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1036 on: December 21, 2014, 10:03:10 PM »
Thanks Lrrr. I wish I could get out, but mom is a 24/7 job. This place helps a lot. The rp takes my mind off of it.

I am so impatient though, I am afraid I drive people crazy. I have to remember other people have lives even if I don't!

Offline Adammair

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1037 on: January 05, 2015, 03:02:15 AM »
Mmm, the way that I interpreted the quote was that often the people who seem the most outgoing or the friendliest--or perhaps, simply the most supportive of others--can sometimes be the most unhappy themselves.  Robin Williams being the case in point.  As we know, there are many causes of depression, but the prevailing myth is that it's solely due to external factors (breaking up with a girlfriend, etc.)   Sometimes people can be clinically depressed for absolutely no reason at all.

Couldn't have said it better myself. Probably couldn't have even said it, period. Thanks, Remiel.

Been a while since I've been here, and I pray everyone is happy, healthy, and otherwise well. Been down lately, myself. Really down. If anyone has a warm thought or two to share... *shrugs*

Offline Verasaille

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1038 on: January 05, 2015, 03:07:52 AM »
Lots of hugs for you Adammair. I don't know how to help someone I don't know personally, but sometimes it helps to watch funny movies or funny videos on You Tube. It's a chemical thing, laughing releases the chemicals you need to climb out of that hole.

Best of luck to you and you can talk to me anytime. ;D ;D

Offline Adammair

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1039 on: January 05, 2015, 03:12:35 AM »
Thanks, Verasaille. I've seen you around the shoutboxes, I think, but you're right, that doesn't count as actually knowing someone. *winks and chuckles*

I'll take your advice and do just that, watch some funny stuff on YouTube. Thanks again. *hugs*

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1040 on: January 05, 2015, 04:18:15 AM »
Couldn't have said it better myself. Probably couldn't have even said it, period. Thanks, Remiel.

Been a while since I've been here, and I pray everyone is happy, healthy, and otherwise well. Been down lately, myself. Really down. If anyone has a warm thought or two to share... *shrugs*

~offers big hugs~ I'll share what I have and I really hope that things improve for you soon.

Offline Remiel

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1041 on: January 05, 2015, 11:39:53 AM »
I know how it feels, Adammair.  Sorry you've been feeling down.  In my experience, it helps to talk to someone, anyone -- if not a professional psychiatrist or even just a school counselor, at least a friend who understands what you're going through.

Online Athos

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1042 on: January 15, 2015, 07:37:45 PM »
The voices in my head, the ones that tell me I’m useless and no good, they’re really kicking the crap out of me today. I don't know why but I feel very alone and sad today. I mean, nothing happened to trigger it. In fact, today was kind of a good day. But then I got home and sat down and kind of just slid right into the pit. That happens sometimes and it's so hard to explain and every time I try to express how I'm feeling it comes out disjointed and awkward and rambling. Kind of like right now hehe. I know it will pass. Sooner or later, it always does. But right now, it just really sucks.

Anyway, thanks for listening (reading).

*leaves hugs for all who need them*
 

Online marauder13

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1043 on: January 15, 2015, 07:46:51 PM »
The voices in my head, the ones that tell me I’m useless and no good, they’re really kicking the crap out of me today. I don't know why but I feel very alone and sad today. I mean, nothing happened to trigger it. In fact, today was kind of a good day. But then I got home and sat down and kind of just slid right into the pit. That happens sometimes and it's so hard to explain and every time I try to express how I'm feeling it comes out disjointed and awkward and rambling. Kind of like right now hehe. I know it will pass. Sooner or later, it always does. But right now, it just really sucks.

Anyway, thanks for listening (reading).

*leaves hugs for all who need them*

Athos, you're not the only one that happens to. The same thing will hit me from time to time. No warnings, no triggers. Med intake is steady, diet is good... but still it pounces from nowhere and you go down hard.

Never be afraid to try and air how you feel. I learned that the hard way, but now I have people who are understanding and will listen and hear what I am saying, offering support and not judgement in the process. They do help make it pass quicker.

One last thing. You did well seeking out people to listen to you speak about this. It's hard, at times scary, and you can also feel that it's not worth the effort. But it is. Never be afraid to come back here to open up, or to support someone else, because either way, every little bit helps.

*Borrows a hugs, and leaves a few more on the pile*

Offline Verasaille

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1044 on: January 15, 2015, 07:54:40 PM »
Time to replace those voices!! Try using a mantra. I find meditation helps a lot. Sit somewhere quiet, play soft soothing music and repeat until you feel better.

Today I choose life. I choose joy and happiness and embrace whatever life  gives me with the certainty I can be all I choose to be.

Here is a good place to read through the quotes and feel better.

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_positive.html

I am praying for you Athos.

Online Athos

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1045 on: January 15, 2015, 08:00:55 PM »
Thanks for saying that marauder. It's always a comfort to know that I'm not alone in feeling the way that I do. I've always found it hard to speak out about the way I feel. I guess somewhere along the way I had it ingrained on me that men aren't supposed to do that. It's something I know is wrong, intellectually, and I never judge other guys for expressing themselves like that but there's still a part of me that says: "You need to be strong." I dunno, it's dumb. Anyway, thanks again.

Time to replace those voices!! Try using a mantra. I find meditation helps a lot. Sit somewhere quiet, play soft soothing music and repeat until you feel better.

Today I choose life. I choose joy and happiness and embrace whatever life  gives me with the certainty I can be all I choose to be.

Here is a good place to read through the quotes and feel better.

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_positive.html

I am praying for you Athos.

Thank you for your words and prayers. I like your mantra, I think I will use it. :) Meditation is something that I do use to try and quiet those voices. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but it's always a worthwhile pursuit I think.

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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1046 on: January 15, 2015, 08:38:08 PM »
Thanks for saying that marauder. It's always a comfort to know that I'm not alone in feeling the way that I do. I've always found it hard to speak out about the way I feel. I guess somewhere along the way I had it ingrained on me that men aren't supposed to do that. It's something I know is wrong, intellectually, and I never judge other guys for expressing themselves like that but there's still a part of me that says: "You need to be strong." I dunno, it's dumb. Anyway, thanks again.

Being strong is being able to stand up and tell someone how you feel, regardless of what those feelings are. You can be a "strong man" while telling someone you feel like shit and wanna cry a river. Anyone who tells you otherwise is not a human being.

And yes, I used to be the same - can't show weakness because then I wont be a real man. But I learned differently. I only wished I learned that lesson in my early 20s rather than early 40s. But is makes a big difference for me, and hopefully it can do the same for you too.

Online Athos

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1047 on: January 15, 2015, 10:34:23 PM »
Being strong is being able to stand up and tell someone how you feel, regardless of what those feelings are. You can be a "strong man" while telling someone you feel like shit and wanna cry a river. Anyone who tells you otherwise is not a human being.

And yes, I used to be the same - can't show weakness because then I wont be a real man. But I learned differently. I only wished I learned that lesson in my early 20s rather than early 40s. But is makes a big difference for me, and hopefully it can do the same for you too.

Well like I said, in my mind I know what you're saying is true. My heart is just taking a little longer to come around. But I believe that there can be no growth without some kind of struggle so I hope it's all for the best.

Offline RhedynTopic starter

Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1048 on: January 27, 2015, 05:19:38 AM »
I've been up and down like a yo-yo these last couple of weeks, going from 'normal' to 'extremely low' from day to day. It's made the highs seem higher but also the falls back down seem harder. In some ways it's a relief to feel like this rather than in a constant state of nothing, at least sandwiched between my bad days I've had some really good ones. This often happens to me before I even out properly. It's like a chain of events that happens when something specific triggers me...

Depression sets in ---> I have to work out what's causing it ---> I have to change what's causing it ---> I drop down even lower ---> Things pick up and I feel lighter ---> Self doubt over what I changed sets in ---> My emotional state bucks like a deranged horse and all I can do is hold on for the ride ---> Things even out and I grow into a marginally stronger person.

I think I'm at the final stage now. I'm feeling more able to get on and get stuff done, more able to love myself and let myself feel rather than doing things to block those feelings out and not tackle them. It's hard to make a stand against your depression but I absolutely applaud everyone who takes any step to do so by taking any kind of action like reaching out for help, venting, allowing yourself to feel etc.

I'm just going to leave this here, virtual hugs for all! Share the love and all that:


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Re: Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View
« Reply #1049 on: January 27, 2015, 06:13:50 AM »
I've been up and down like a yo-yo these last couple of weeks, going from 'normal' to 'extremely low' from day to day. It's made the highs seem higher but also the falls back down seem harder. In some ways it's a relief to feel like this rather than in a constant state of nothing, at least sandwiched between my bad days I've had some really good ones. This often happens to me before I even out properly. It's like a chain of events that happens when something specific triggers me...

Depression sets in ---> I have to work out what's causing it ---> I have to change what's causing it ---> I drop down even lower ---> Things pick up and I feel lighter ---> Self doubt over what I changed sets in ---> My emotional state bucks like a deranged horse and all I can do is hold on for the ride ---> Things even out and I grow into a marginally stronger person.

I think I'm at the final stage now. I'm feeling more able to get on and get stuff done, more able to love myself and let myself feel rather than doing things to block those feelings out and not tackle them. It's hard to make a stand against your depression but I absolutely applaud everyone who takes any step to do so by taking any kind of action like reaching out for help, venting, allowing yourself to feel etc.

I'm just going to leave this here, virtual hugs for all! Share the love and all that:



May your 'deranged horse ride' be over sooner than later.

Also, I am not sure that I have done this, and if I have then it wont hurt to do it again.

Thank you, Rhedyn, for starting this blog, and for allowing others to use it to make their own lives a little better, as well as those of us who read along. I find it helpful to know that there are so many understanding people out in the Elliquiy community who offer support, and the acknowledgement that someone who 'talks' here has been heard by someone else. Above all else, regardless of your starting this blog, you, along with everyone else who has posted here, are a terrific person who has value, and many good things to bringto the world, and everyone in it. Never forget you are special, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.