I am thinking having sex completely hidden would drive things a little bonkers -- but I'm going to hold out for having an option to get it out of your own
view sometimes, and possibly to get it out of certain types of posts or threads. Btw, if someone wants to move part of the thread elsewhere, I don't mind. I know we're branching off the OP question into Suggestions. On the other hand, I think maybe a little more discussion could help clear it up a little for new arrivals how this is set up. Hmms, not sure which is better.
That post was interesting to read, kylie. Thank you for making it. :)
You're welcome! Struck me as an odd response there, but without it I wouldn't have started going on about possible alternatives
I do like that, aside from title, we have a gender option.
Yeah, actually I'm thinking at this point more
choices is generally good. Personally, I like the separate marker much more (whether you imagine that actually stands for gender or sex or both, shrugs) because you can leave it blank
. But you can't do that with the title bar as things stand. You can't have a title that isn't a (I believe usually though maybe not always, on E, medically based) sex declaration. You also can't get it out of the most obvious place in your posts. You can't even get it out of your own view. And this really nags me.
It's worth noting that a Liege with a blank gander tag is an identity in itself rather then a special "I'm not telling" option.
I really do appreciate that too. Although for some reason, the word "Champion" always struck me as awfully masculine. I suppose I should broaden my imagination there and go write something about rocking Amazons etc. But I can't seem to get it out of my head that it's something you would see more with the National Football League advertising (so not
my gender leaning).
I also kind of miss the green of the Liege tag. The gold is not really my thing and to me also often just feels a little harsh and imposing, even putting me on the spot. To my fussy and color-sensitive mind, it's not
very gender ambiguous or generally too comforting. Probably some people really like the gold, and that's okay. There are probably other possible color tones that would have made me feel much less at ease, had they been chosen. But I don't have options for the color of that bar, either. I have thought somewhat about asking to just have it reverted to Liege, but I've been torn about whether I really enjoy the recognition for having paid a bit. I've also wondered a little if it would just make staff feel put upon, being asked to change a title bar (or even maybe, a little reluctant to remove a title that refers to payment).
It is possible for a physical male who identifies as female to choose the male tag. Yes some people may do this as a predatory choice but staff is good at filtering and if people report the behavior those offenders are quickly dealt with.
I'd be uncomfortable selecting this for myself. My feelings about gender vary enough that I notice and have a lot going on, so being asked to pick from a binary bugs me sometimes. Even if I try and go with the well, culturally a drop of feminine makes you not "really" masculine: Then I have enough nervousness to worry about whether I'm "passing," even if I know I tend to lean more feminine in ways that are important to me. You may say oh just pick one and be loud and proud, but it's a particular argument I don't wish to spend time on with those who want to pick over the bone. I avoid them by not labeling myself in a way that tempts them.
I also would
be worried about being taken for predatory (not so much by staff per se, but by others)... Or simply, for having a profile entry that many people couldn't make heads or tails of. That can be read as confusing (if not intentionally devious, there we are again) and too much work to sort out, before they even message you.
For most it doesn't matter who they rp with. but we don't just rp here. We talk and communicate. I don't want to have to click on every profile to determine if the person I am reading should have a masculine or feminine voice. I don't want to have to click on a profile to determine what pronouns I should use.
Wait up... You decide what voice to attach to us Lieges how, exactly? I mean, those of us who don't select a gender marker under the picture.
I don't know what kind of evidence you have that most don't care who they roleplay with. If I can manage going into Introductions at the same time I scroll through the Wanteds, to start guessing whether many players will even consider playing with cross-gender writers, then why would it be a hassle for you to click once to see sex when you look up a new author? Perhaps it could even be coded to pop out on the same screen. I will grant you this may actually be too much to ask of many people, but I wonder why.
Although lately, I have the impression more people are actually opening their Wanteds with statements of what players, as well as characters, they do (and therefore don't) wish to RP with. I don't see so much evidence that no one cares -- quite the contrary. I'd be slightly more likely to suppose that one could
try and argue that maybe RP preferences should be on every sidebar. Why are we presumed here to "communicate" in ways that apparently require knowing others' sex at every turn, more
than we are here to know who wants to play with us? There may be answers, but I think it's an interesting side question.
While I believe that smf is a little binary, stating your identified gender to me is an indication that the people here, as a whole, are open and trustworthy.
I don't see that not
stating it would make
people devious. Hardly more than lieges in general 'must' be unreliable because we curl up our noses a bit at the binary system. I do
think that when I have to see what is essentially a sex or gender marker on others' posts, that makes me feel pressured to modify how I myself write, how I read what others write, how I interact with people, and sometimes who I choose to interact with.
If you imagine that the primary thing
most people are doing is either looking for a roleplay partner -- using sex as a way to narrow down for their orientation, and they are doing this constantly
the story would go -- (and I'm not convinced that most people here don't care)... Or perhaps it's thinking, "Oh but does this person live as a man, woman, or other day to day so I can decide how to evaluate their On Topic etc. posts, or maybe decide if their roleplay is sometimes realistic
better for my purposes!" Then
you need to be sure you can practically always see a marker. Maybe?
Yet to me, this is not information that is sooooo
important that it needs to be under my name on every post. Certainly, it's not something where I need to be reminded of my own sex assignment
(or gender, now that we're in the category of assigned by someone else, as opposed to what I might feel at any given time).
There are so many times that I don't
want anything around the name or avie that reminds me there was some question there about basically player sex:
- When I'd rather read other people's ideas without my orientation or expectations for a given sex/gender getting in the way
- When I'm roleplaying something that I may identify with strongly yet it takes me a little stretch to get into it well, and stay immersed
- When I am thinking about other really abstract questions (where sex/gender can become a separate, rather distracting puzzle in itself)
- When I don't want to place a fixed sex or gender label of any kind on what I'm doing or feeling at the moment
(Or, when I know the label I would pick is not a popular one and not listed among the available options - but it's more important than the simple "difference" of liegeness to me.)
So that is what is behind my (yes, initially rather overstated) desire to get player sex off the sidebar. I concede that option 1 with no publicly available listing is probably a bit too much. But I don't see why I should have to have it emblazoned by my own name for my
viewing, if it nags me. I also think there may be some areas where emphasizing sex with each post has unnecessary costs. Do we really need
to keep seeing how many elf women are being written by which sex while
we're focused on that story? Can we process a political point without our eyes wandering straight over to the big colored bar, to check whether we imagine that author actually lives in a given way? It can
be liberating to see how people we might not have expected can write things that grab us, but knowing that label is there every moment can also be distracting in terms of processing the ideas in the posts themselves.