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Author Topic: Bad Advice  (Read 6052 times)

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Offline AuronTopic starter

Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #75 on: July 26, 2012, 05:43:33 PM »
Spend a week wandering the Sahara. It will seem cool in comparison.

My eyes hurt.

Offline Phoenixrisen

Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #76 on: July 26, 2012, 05:50:32 PM »
Inject Morphine directly into them. That should clear that up.


My kitten snores.

Offline AuronTopic starter

Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #77 on: July 26, 2012, 05:52:27 PM »
Cover its nose and mouth with tape.

My foot is killing me.

Offline Mr Bigglesworth

Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #78 on: July 26, 2012, 05:54:20 PM »
Try a dry-ice foot bath.

I'm hungry.

Offline EternalChameleon

Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #79 on: July 26, 2012, 06:02:50 PM »
Smoke a cigarette, you'll forget about it.

I need a second job.

Offline Phoenixrisen

Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #80 on: July 26, 2012, 06:09:10 PM »
Run drugs. No one will ever know.

The oceans are dirty.

Offline Mr Bigglesworth

Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #81 on: July 26, 2012, 06:10:33 PM »
Buy some coffee filters, and get to work filtering the things.

Space travel is expensive.

Offline EternalChameleon

Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #82 on: July 26, 2012, 06:17:58 PM »
Marry someone rich.

This summer has been far too hot.

Offline gaggedLouise

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Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #83 on: July 26, 2012, 06:23:13 PM »
Answer to both of the last two ones: Jump down a black hole. a)They are cold and b)you will come out on the other side, far away (so they say, anyway)  ???

This street is too noisy, but I can't afford to move.

Offline Zylvyn

Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #84 on: July 26, 2012, 06:24:06 PM »
Listen to music so loud you go deaf.

The phone batteries are dead.

Offline AuronTopic starter

Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #85 on: July 26, 2012, 06:27:00 PM »
Hold the battery in one and and stick a fork in a power outlet.

I'm addicted to scary games, even though I hate them,

Offline gaggedLouise

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Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #86 on: July 26, 2012, 06:29:35 PM »
Send a group sms to everyone in your address book not to call you anymore.

Find one that's been reviewed with a single crossed-out star, and force yourself to play it non-stop. That should cure it.

I want to be the greatest WoW champ but I don't have the time to learn the rules.

Offline Rel Mayer

Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #87 on: July 26, 2012, 06:33:03 PM »
Just uninstall the game.

I lost my glasses.

Offline Mr Bigglesworth

Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #88 on: July 26, 2012, 06:35:08 PM »
Just walk around with your eyes closed, things won't be fuzzy.

I have an itch on my forehead.

Offline AuronTopic starter

Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #89 on: July 26, 2012, 06:37:21 PM »
Kick yourself in the forehead until it goes away.

I have too many tabs open

Offline Phoenixrisen

Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #90 on: July 26, 2012, 06:41:01 PM »
Hard shut down your computer without saving anything. It'll be fine.

My soda is being noisy.

Offline gaggedLouise

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Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #91 on: July 26, 2012, 06:56:48 PM »
Pick up the bottle and suck it off the neck as if it were a...

I want to get a new credit card, but my bank says I am somebody else with the same name.

Offline Phoenixrisen

Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #92 on: July 26, 2012, 06:58:52 PM »
Hunt this other person down and assassinate them.

I can't find a measuring cup.

Offline AuronTopic starter

Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #93 on: July 26, 2012, 07:00:24 PM »
Use a bra.

The moon is too bright.

Offline Phoenixrisen

Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #94 on: July 26, 2012, 07:02:18 PM »
Wear shades at night.

I don't have ice cream.

Offline gaggedLouise

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Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #95 on: July 26, 2012, 07:03:06 PM »
Measure the flour, sugar and milk in your mouth...

Put a lamp in front of it in the window.


I don't have ice cream.

Go to sleep in the freezer.


I followed  Phoenix's advice on the credit card and killed the lady. Now the police say I'm their prime suspect.
« Last Edit: July 26, 2012, 07:06:10 PM by gaggedLouise »

Offline AuronTopic starter

Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #96 on: July 26, 2012, 07:07:50 PM »
Pretend to be someone else with the same name!

I have something in my eye

Offline Phoenixrisen

Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #97 on: July 26, 2012, 07:09:15 PM »
Use superglue on a stick to get it out.

I'm horrible at using an iron.

Offline gaggedLouise

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Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #98 on: July 26, 2012, 07:13:12 PM »
Pretend to be someone else with the same name!

"I am Spartacus!" (they all got crucified though...)

Quote
I have something in my eye

wear a pirate's patch and a cutlass!

Suddenly, there's no running water and it's a blistering hot day; I need to be at home to take some calls and I need to do some wash-up and also to drink to keep cool.
« Last Edit: July 26, 2012, 07:15:40 PM by gaggedLouise »

Offline AuronTopic starter

Re: Bad Advice
« Reply #99 on: July 26, 2012, 07:15:34 PM »
Drink your own piss.

I'm feeling rather violent for no reason.