Note. Even if nobody cares or notices or checks back, I will soon catch up on replying to all the visitor posts in this blog, not because I feel obligated to do so, but because I genuinely want to do so. :) But sorry for being so slow and late about it.Saturday night drinking vodka and yammering in a highly inelegant fashion. Is that a word? "Inelegant"? "Unelegant"? ... Welcoming newcomers to Ye Olde Ricke's Blogge.
Probably unelegant. Better: awkward fashion. Yeah, that's better. Whoops, spellcheck likes "inelegant." Live and learn. Boy computers is smart nowadays.
Is this your first time visiting my blog? If so, welcome! Come right in! Sit a spell, have some coffee or cookies, make yourself at home! Here are some things you should know about this hellhole you have foolishly and tragically stumbled upon.
Most of the blog comprises ramblings from me about either my Christian beliefs or my embarrassing personal life or both at the same time. (heheheheh I just lost almost everybody, right there! What a world!) Also I talk sometimes about politics and music (love of my life) and other stuff. (No I got no girlfriend right now, so sue me.) I complain about Elliquiy sometimes because I'm a dick. Elliquiy is full of good peoples, you should join.
I desperately and somewhat pathetically solicit responses from visitors and encourage discussions of any and all kinds here. It rarely occurs, but it does now and then, and that thrills me to no end. Look, the truth is that if I had a healthy, normal social life -- or, hell, if I just had a freakin' girlfriend again, which I haven't had in longer than I care to admit -- I wouldn't be sittin' here typin', you know what I'm sayin'? I'd be doing stuff that's a little more fun and less intellectual than writin' stuff. In other words, I get lonely
and use Elliquiy sometimes as an outlet for that awful but inescapable feeling. I figure I'm not alone in that. Elliquiy makes it possible for people to connect in unexpected and enjoyable and surprisingly meaningful ways. Quite a place, that Elliquiy. Oh, anyway. I like comments and discussions in part because it makes the business of bloggation seem less solitary of an endeavor.
Also, more importantly perhaps, it helps me to imagine that at least one or maybe even two whole human beings besides me actually reads these posts. See that "view count" that says like three-thousand-something by now? Yeah that's bullshit. And I like to bitch about it a lot. Those are almost all robots, fuckin' searchbots. If I had three thousand human beings listening to anything I said, I'd freak the fuck out and get stage fright or something. I think it's nearly certain that many if not most of these blog posts get read by nobody at all but me, because I really ramble a lot, and it's usually not very interesting, so why would anybody read it? On the other hand, I like to imagine somebody does, anyway. (Oniya maybe? Oniya is omnipresent at Elliquiy and we're all glad for that fact. You'll see her name here and there and might even interact with her now and then, and you'll be glad you did; she's good peoples.) Anyway, sorry if I embarrassed you there Oniya if you're around,
what I meant to say was that if you wanna reply to absolutely anything in this blog in any way, that would please me. But you can also just read something and then find better things to do. That's probably what I would do if I were you. :)
Very interesting people turn up at Elliquiy on a regular basis. This is a huge reason to join the site, if you aren't already a member. There seems to never be a shortage of new, fascinating people who happen along. Some stay, some leave, that's how it goes, but there's always more. Thanks to the Mentors and Staff who make the effort to screen applicants and welcome them and show them the ropes. Makes the place what it is, and that's good.
Here's somebody who showed up at Elliquiy some time in the past couple months and then promptly got banned. I'm not going to mention his screen name or mention enough details for you to identify him, except you could do so pretty easily if you went digging around in old threads and posts, but why would you bother to do that? Why are you even reading any of this again? Oh, because you're really kewl and find my prattle mildly diverting and not-too-annoying for a few minutes? Eh, that's good enough for me! Come right in, sit a spell, etc. See above.
This guy turned up at Elliquiy. I don't know the guy in real life, but I paid a little attention to him at Elliquiy; I looked through his post history, which is something I do routinely with lots of folks, because it's easy to do, and also because I assume that's a normal and permissible thing to do, since the software makes it possible, even though I've noticed from looking at the page where it tells where people are that very few others ever look through people's post histories. I do that frequently and don't understand why anyone else wouldn't. Our posts are public because we figure maybe somebody besides us might look at 'em, right? Otherwise ya oughtta be private messaging, I would think. I do both. Doesn't everyone? I dunno. I've seen a couple people or more who think it's creepy and stalker-y to look at posts written by other people whom you yourself aren't RPing with. Personally I'm delighted and flattered whenever I think that someone besides me has read anything I've written and posted in a public space like Elliquiy. I like to think most people would feel the same.
So this guy turns up at Elliquiy. My first impression of the dude is incredibly negative. He posted to this one thread and said stuff I thought was sexist. I got mad about it and said so. People at Elliquiy are usually respectful and mature as all get out. (Well, I'm
not always, but everybody else, I mean.
) This guy was sayin' awful sexist shit and I thought he wasn't being sarcastic but being totally serious about it, so I called him out and got all mad and cursed him out too. It was bad of me. It was wrong. I feel guilty. I wish I could apologize to him because I mistreated him and disrespected him in public. I regret it. I can't apologize to him though because he got banned from the site so I don't know how I could get a message to him, plus he probably never saw those posts anyway, plus he's probably forgotten all about Elliquiy by now, since he got banned. Hope so at least, no reason for him to dwell on it.
Why am I talking about this person I've never met? Couple reasons, plus there's the vodka, which you never know what that's gonna bring out of ya. :) This guy was smart as fucking hell. Genius guy. Gifted writer. Probably better than I'll ever be. When I was younger, I used to fantasize about becoming a gifted writer who could get his fiction published. It's not a fantasy I have much anymore because I'm already thirty-soadas;tehring and haven't written anything publishable yet, not enough close, so I probably never will; that's not my personal gift or destiny, it seems. Then again, I'm only thirty-a;lskfd;ling, so you never know; maybe I'll blossom as a writer in my forties.
This dude could write. I admire that. I envy that. He used vocabulary words I've never even fucking seen
before, much less have any idea what they mean. He had the music. He had the feel. He had the touch. Fucker could write some interesting stuff. Guy was smart.
Also, guy just happened to have some really awful personal habits in real life, and he thought he could freely talk about those habits at Elliquiy. I would have thought that he could do so also. Why not? He didn't do anything illegal or even unusual. He was the kind of guy (even if he exaggerated his conquests, this was the vibe he put out there) who gets laid a lot and understands how to make that possible. It takes certain skills and knowledge; he claimed to have said skills and certainly sounded convincing to me. He also sounded like a sexist prick. But you know, everybody's got their faults, right? hehehehehe
Why am I talking about this dude at all in my stupeed blogge? Here's why. Guy was some kinda genius writer with all kinds of of fucked-up sexist attitudes. Guy got himself banned from Elliquiy. I'm really upset about that.
Before I talk about that, let me talk about something else that isn't related to that, although you might imagine otherwise. This guy made this sexist remark in a thread that pissed me off so much that I totally disrespected him and talked shit about him, in that thread, in public, where people could see it. I was angry. I was offended. I lashed out in anger. It was wrong. I was wrong and I regret doing it. I would apologize to the guy personally but he got banned from the site so he probably never saw my response anyway or else doesn't give a shit anymore. I have no idea how I could contact him and assume he wouldn't care enough to want that anyway. I misbehaved. I do that sometimes, even in public in front of people like you. It's bad. (oops I just mentioned that twice didn't I, the whole thing about my disrespecting that guy? oops sorry. I'm drinking.)
I regret talking shit about that guy and wish I hadn't done it, but even that isn't what this never-ending post is really about. This post is about how amazed I am at the fact that you can be a mindblowing genius and still be a fucking prick who mistreats and disrespects others. He probably didn't think that he did that, but he confessed to doing things that certainly sounded disrespectful and inappropriate in his dealings with women, and that's just sad and unfortunate. But you know, I'm no better than him, or no worse either, so it's not my place to judge him, even though that impulse comes so naturally; he might be a better human being and far more moral and useful and selfless than I'll ever be, in spite of his occasional misbehavior. I hope so; I hope he lives well and does good for many people. He might. Smart guy, he was.
How does a person get to be so effucking smart and eloquent and gifted and still do horrible things like fucking lots of women and then discarding them like human trash? He wasn't bashful about describing it. He even recommended it to others. Probably that's what got him banned, I dunno.
That's what I meant to get back to, though; sorry, vodka ya know?
This guy got banned after making a few public comments at Elliquiy that vividly demonstrated that he enjoys treating women like inhuman cum receptacles. Some men are like that. Not too many; not that much, at least; although we're all animals when it comes to fucking, and no woman should ever imagine otherwise about any male of the species -- we like to stick it in warm soft crevices and do what comes naturally, even when it destroys our careers or relationships or livelihoods or dignity or reputation or whatever else. David Petraeus much? Poor guy. He has a penis. I guess he wasn't supposed to, because he was CIA Director. I guess that makes sense. Also, having a penis doesn't mean it's okay to cheat on your wife. But it sure makes it understandable and likely, if not okay.
Dude got the boot from Elliquiy because he admitted in public to enjoying strings-free, guilt-free one night stands.
What the -- ?
Look. I'm a simpleton. I'm an asshole. Here's this website where lots and lots and lots of people go so that they can write about raping other people or getting raped. Some people like to write about raping their relatives or getting raped by them. Some people like to write about raping and then killing their relatives and eating their corpses and somehow fucking them too. Or something. hehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehhe Vore. God bless us one and all. God help us. Anyway.
Elliquiy: openminded place? FUck naw.
FAscist place? Maybe ...
Dude got banned for admitting to being a sexist dick and recommending that others do the same. That wasn't illegal last time I checked. It wasn't even uncommon. What was that masterpiece of a movie by that young Mormon guy ... uhhhh ... "Husband and Wives" maybe? Lemme check. Naw, got it wrong.
Neil LaBute. Genius. In the Company of Men.
Have you seen that movie? You need to see it. Especially if you're a woman, a straight one; or one of these Elliquiy dudes who kicked this guy out. YOu will learn things about men that you should know, things many people don't know. Shall I summarize? Men are animals. Men are pigs. Men are always horny. Men are the lowest form of scum. Men will fuck anything that moves. Men will fuck over one another in order to fuck anything that moves. See the movie. You will hate certain characters; they will repulse you; they will amaze you with their repulsiveness. Then, here's what you must do. If you are a man, recognize that the most repulsive man in that movie is not all that different from you. Not really. REally. That was you and me on the screen, buddy. Assholes. Motherfucking evil selfish scum. FOod for thought. If you are a woman, instead, recognize that your husband or boyfriend or father or brother or son is that gigantic irredeemable unrepentant asshole on the screen. Deep down, every man you know is just that evil and just that ravenous and just that a;sflwdkfj;asdf. It's terrifying. It's human. It's real. See the movie; it's an important film from an important filmmaker with top-notch, world-class actors. It will make you think if you take it seriously. It might very well piss you off or offend you. The best art does that sometimes. Most of all it will show you truths about reality that you can't learn elsewhere. That's what A
rt is for, silly wabbit.
Some jerk got banned from Elliquiy because he confessed in public to being a human male asshole. I am a human male asshole. I have urges and impulses that any sensible person should condemn. I have personal beliefs that any sensible human being should either agree with and submit to and be transformed by or else consider absolutely offensive and unacceptable and impermissible. Christianity is offensive as fuck. Did I say that loud enough.
Marilyn Manson, back the first time I saw them -- yes I saw them multiple times, although never as a headliner -- they were selling hats and t-shirts that said stuff like "GOD OF FUCK" in big capital letters. Now just where in public on the planet can you walk around wearing shit that says stuff like that?
I love Marilyn Manson. Great fucking live band. Not as good on record, but still, they had their moments. Their first album was a landmark of heavy music, important to this day. If you're a parent, you might benefit from studying its lyrics; it may remind you of the disdain for cultural norms and the yearning for primal destruction that creeps out of the souls of every thirteen-year-old male, something you knew yourself so long long ago and hopefully dismissed and outgrew immediately, but not all of us were so lucky. I am Marilyn Manson and he is me. I hope your son isn't, but if he is, then studying that album (or whatever its current cultural equivalent would be) might teach you some things.
That reminds me of something. I keep reading about this current music star who is named "Ke$ha" or "Kee$ha" or something like that, and I hear she's doing stuff that is really fucked-up and vital and new. I plan to find out about that. There used to be a bleeding edge of conformity and social propriety that one famous band after another made it their business to piss upon, starting probably with either Black Sabbath or Alice Cooper and then proceeding with all of the original punk rockers and eventually Metallica before they got rich and certainly Korn and Marilyn Manson and Nine Inch Nails and others I can't think of. Peaches! I learned about her a few years ago from a wonderful Elliquian. Sooo fuckkkked uppp! Peaches! Yes! Blood and pus! Self-mutilation! Give it to us! Take us back to Iggy and the Stooges and G.G. Allin and razor blades and broken glasses and public defecation and every vile abomination we can think of! This is part of rock and roll; it has been since at least Black Sabbath and maybe before. Sabbath -- ALMIGHTY Sabbath -- brought the self-immolation and nihilism that the Sex Pistols and others perfected without recognizing that it had been done by anyone else before. Were there other pioneers? PRobably. Cut the skin and flay the flesh. Give us mud and piss and pain.
Saint Patti Smith, "Rock N Roll Nigger":
"Jimi Hendrix was a nigger
Jesus Christ and grandma, too
Jackson Pollock was a nigger
Nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger
Nigger, nigger, nigger
Outside of society, they're waitin' for me
Outside of society, if you're looking
That's where you'll find me"
It's supposed to offend you. That was 1978
, when I was alive but too little to grasp anything (or little enough to grasp everything, perhaps, and I've been trying to remember it every since). Is that still as shocking as it was in 1978? Hell no. Is it still a little shocking and offensive? God I hope so. I don't know if want to live anywhere where they're so jaded and sick that even that doesn't phase them, it bounces off their hides without so much as a flicker of disturbance. We're all like that now, of course; after South Park
and all the other cufushnkits.
(Back to Saint Patti.) It's supposed to offend you and
open your mind, enlighten you, just like the fifth of vodka sitting next to me with my Bible sitting next to it. What? I don't know. "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, / Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." Free Your Mind... and Your Ass Will Follow.
I'm just spewing nonsense by this point, don't expect any better. :) Check this out, something from the liner notes for a Patti SMith record, or something. Copied and pasted and found on Wikipedia, that cesspool of putridly-written and incoherent information ......
"nigger no invented for color it was MADE FOR THE PLAGUE the word (art) must be
redefined-all mutants and the new babes born sans eyebrow and tonsil-outside logic-beyond
mathematics poli-tricks baptism and motion sickness-any man who extends beyond the classic
for is a nigger-one sans fear and despair-one who rises like rimbaud beating hard gold
rythumn outta soft solid shit-tongue light is coiling serpant is steaming spinal avec ray gun
hissing scanning copper head w/ white enamel eye wet and shining crown reeling thru gleem
vegetation ruby dressing of thy lips puckering whispering pressing high bruised thighs silk route
mark prussian vibrating gushing milk pods of de/light translating new languages new and
abused rock n roll and lashing from tongue of me nigger
Aargh, ack, pthew. Patti Smith is a GODDD DD E SS S with her mustache and her heart the size of South Dakota. Do young people even know who the fuck she was? IS? Fuck she ain't dead, she might even still be releasing music for all that I know. You know why I know who she was? Because U2 cited her as an influence and covered one of her songs, and in spectacular fashion, I must say, although to this day I've only heard the original maybe once -- the cover probably hundreds of times, oh fuck with that guitar solo -- so I can't claim to know the Patti Smith version well at all.
U2 are considered a total joke by the latest iteration of the pop culture cognoscenti. This fact amuses me. U2 are considered a joke. hehehehehhehehe.
U2 are the single most successful rock band of not only their generation but every generation since, and that's why it's "coooL" and hip and funny to hate their shit. Because they beat every one of the odds. Who else? No one else. Not one of them. PEarl Jam? NO. R.E.M.? NO. Nirvana? NO. Readioheahd? Pleez. (I love the hell out of them. But no.) There was a time I can remember -- not long ago? no; decades! -- when INXS was mentioned in the same breath as U2. That was 1987, a flash of pop culture, an instant, the very instant when U2 crossed over from the music fans to the general public, with the first or second single from The Joshua Tree
. Have I told you that U2 was my favorite band for a brief but absolutely crucial period in my childhood? Not without good reason.
Most U2 fans either don't remember or totally misunderstood the best material they ever produced. I'm too self-conscious and sensitive to even identify the album here, it meant so much to me and defined so much of me. To this day.
Yah. A U2
album. You think they're a joke? Well, so do I, these recent years, in most ways. But they weren't always and might not be again, someday. You can never tell when these older masters will turn around and surprise you with an unexpected masterpiece. Dylan did it, more than once, amidst all the mediocre dreck in between. Who else? I dunno. Rock is about that last fifteen minutes of culture; no one lasts as long as it takes you to even explore their catalog. Not any more at least. The last "current," "popular" and "hip" band I paid attention to was either the Shins or the Arctic Monkeys. Both bands who unexpectedly lived up to their hype. That was, like, TEN YEARS ago or more. What happened since then? I dunno, should I care? I heard a couple songs from Arcade Fire and got too bored to get to the end of them. They weren't bad, I guesssss .... Pop culture is such utter bullshit.
It was bullshit when I was a kid too. Commercial money-driven soulless shit. The cognoscenti's version of The Price Is Right
. Huh, what? I'm just making shit up now, it's true. Sorry!
(Here's the secret. The young ones, the ones who get it, the little children who have the power, the power to change the whole goddamn world and remake it in their own image, if they would only seize it. Pop culture has always been 90% bullshit, 10% genius. If you can't tell the difference, you'll end up a sheep. Learn to tell the difference -- yeah, you can learn it, it isn't hard or special -- and then find the 10 percent and hang onto it. The ten percent you find will soon become so insignificant and irrelevant to the rest of society that it will astonish and depress you. That doesn't matter a whit. Hang onto them. Buy their albums. See them in concert, even if -- especially if -- god my heart breaks -- if the room of the nightclub is occupied by you, the pal you went with, and the band, and nobody else. Oh, there's the sound guy in the back corner of the room, maybe, if the club had one (the band couldn't afford one of their own, that's fer sure.)
GO SEE THEIR SHOW TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW. You, your buddy, and the motherfucking greatest band on the goddamn planet, in a little empty room in a major city where everyone couldn't care less except you and them. Do you think it's impossible for life-changing, spirit-exploding, world-shattering art to happen in that little lonely space? I've seen it happen soo mannnyy timessss
What was this about earlier? Oh, this guy who I won't name got banned from Elliquiy for admitting that he liked to do terrible but legal things, and frankly, it BUGS THE LIVING FUCK out of me. This guy was smart, which matters to me, but much more importantly, he was always civil and even friendly.
HIs opinions were so offensive and shameless and flagrant and unrepentant that I myself got so pissed off about one of his posts that I called him a "motherfucker" in public. That was wrong to do, because it's never okay to call anyone that and really mean it, but also because I knew in advance that the guy had been banned from Elliquiy already and probably wouldn't see the comment and certainly wouldn't be able to respond to it in that thread where I made the comment. You know what that's called, boys and girls? That's called
Yep, that was me. Feckless shameless shitfaced coward. Talking shit about somebody in part because I knew they couldn't possibly respond. Coward. Ugh.
This dude got banned from Elliquiy and for the life of me, and even though it's totally none of my fuckin' business personally, although it kinda is if I care about things like free speech or about Elliquiy as a virtual community, for the life of me I can't figure out the justification for him getting banned. Elliquiy's staff are not at all likely to jump to rash conclusions or make decisions without careful consideration. I understand that there was a discussion (can you imagine? Jeezus. I really admire these folks. I do.) a discussion amongst the staff about how to deal with this psycho sicko dude, and then somehow the decision got made to ban the poor guy. Whatever. Elliquiy isn't heaven or anything; it's not someplace you want to live forever. It's not important in the grand scheme of things, and this guy was fucking smart, so I assume he realized that sooner or later (probably sooner) and got over his "banishment" without a tear shed or a night's sleep lost. Good for him. Me, I'm just stupid enough and dumb enough to mull shit like this over for more time than anyone should, and then tell you
about it on top of that, God knows why. :) THis blog is so dduuuumb.
Since I bitched and moaned and rambled for so so so so long about all that, I should probably conclude by summarizing how come I was so personally upset about the fact that guy got banned, but I'm too intoxicated and lazy to really do that, considering that I still, to this day, am not convinced anyone but me reads every line of this silly wordy blog.
Look, I have opinions that most people consider to be WRONG, and not only that, but I tell other people that they really oughtta agree with my opinions because my opinions are right and every alternative opinion is wrong. (ONly my most important opinions, the Christianity ones. Nothing else I say means jack-shit compared to those, and people should disagree with everything else anytime they want.) How pompous and conceited and unfair and pretentious and terrible is that? PRobably a lot. Look, the only opinions I have that really matter are about Christianity, and those opinions, at their root, aren't any different from what many other Christians have believed for nearly two thousand years. I'm not manufacturing any of it myself or asking you to buy something new and unheard-of. Does that make it true necessarily? Hell no. It's all true, but not because of that.
This poor guy thought that he could let his hair down at Elliquiy and be himself. This was a smart guy. He knew that there are very few places in the world where any person can openly express his personal opinions or describe his personal habits and experiences without getting scorned by everybody. He imagined that Elliquiy was that rare haven where even the misfits could find acceptance. It is exactly that kind of place for certain people, for many people, even for me, although I've never felt that I belong at Elliquiy; my presence and ongoing activity is tolerated if not encouraged, and that's good enough for me and earns from me great appreciation and respect, since I could not get that much from most or perhaps from any other virtual community, although I haven't looked much, but I'm so cynical that I assume it would be much worse elsewhere. Seriously, there are so many kind and smart people at Elliquiy, from Vekseid on down, you gotta respect that, no matter how much of a jerk or critic you might be; these are nice folks who participate in a fun and pleasant mutual endeavor, and that's no small feat in this sad, sorry old world of ours. IMO IMO.
This guy got the boot. I wish he hadn't. I wish I hadn't spoken ill of him in public. I think he had every right to his opinions and deserves to find a place where he can be himself and be open about his opinions and still find acceptance with all his faults intact and all his sins unrepented. Look, isn't that what each of us cherishes about this silly stupid tiny insignificant wonderful remarkable singular astonishing place called Elliquiy? There's a lot of tolerance and openness and wisdom at this site, from its basic design on down to the men and women who keep it running each and every day, and that's a small but not insignificant feat that everyone involved should take some pride in.
Still. I wish that Elliquiy had found room for that ingenious but shameless fellow. I wish I
had found much
more room for him than I did, sooner than I did, in my own heart and mind. (He loved some music I also love. I learned that too late to let him know, and -- really -- that means so much to me. He loved the Dead Kennedy's, for god's sake. Jello Biafra. PUnk! Real punk. And, And Thelonius Monk! oH mY GOD! Oh my god, oh. It makes me want to cry. Anyone who loves Monk can't be a bad guy, right? Cna't be. God I'm crying right now typing this. That dude had Monk records. I have one or two Monk records that I haven't heard in years because they're packed away, but I will cherish them till the day I die, because they are as brilliant as any music recorded in the 20th century. Thelonius Sphere Monk. I had never encountered or learned Monk's middle name until today, and I learned it because this stupid stranger strange sexist dude mentioned it in a thread somewhere, and I'll probably never forget that. Damn, how fucked up.) And I hope the fact that there wasn't room for him around here isn't an indication of intolerance in the community that could eventually come down upon my head too, because I also have a great many strongly-held personally views which the vast majority of Elliquians consider foolish at best and downright immoral at worst, and I too am guilty of offensive speech and stubborn adherence to at least one offensive philosophy that I would sacrifice my Elliquiy membership for sooner than I would do the reverse -- sacrifice it to preserve my membership and good standing around here.
Alright I'm gonna go finish my vodka and put together some nachos for a midnight dinner. Life is good, what can I say? Thanks for reading, you insane nut, you. :)