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Author Topic: rude 'n' ridiculous rants + polite but painfully-slow prattle with passers-by  (Read 19751 times)

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Offline Oniya

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Re: rude 'n' ridiculous rants + polite but painfully-slow prattle with passers-by
« Reply #400 on: December 20, 2012, 09:19:23 PM »
How much porn does your hard drive have on it?  Seriously, I'd love to know; I don't know that about anyone else. 

That might be a better question for 'On Topic'

Offline rick957Topic starter

Re: rude 'n' ridiculous rants + polite but painfully-slow prattle with passers-by
« Reply #401 on: December 21, 2012, 12:25:49 AM »
Here I go posting again to this blog instead of getting around to doing any of the other stuff that I wanted to do at Elliquiy today.  I still hope to do that stuff, but not until later today.  I wasn't kidding either about the fact that my RPing and certain PMs and other stuff at Elliquiy is more important to me than this blog.  You might assume so considering that I've posted twice to this blog today and haven't gotten around to my RPs yet. 

Here's a funny thing about me.  When I care more about things, I often do them less or wait longer to do them.  That's because not only do I relish those things more and want to focus my full energy and attention on enjoying those things, but also because I put more effort and work into things I care more about.  For example, because my RPs are the most important thing for me at Elliquiy, I find it easier to rattle off another blog post rather than to sit down and focus and make another RP post.  That would feel more like hard work than this does.  Of course even that isn't hard work; it's a pastime, something I do for fun.  Yet even that I take more seriously than this blog, which is another pastime that I do for fun.  Imagine how ridiculously seriously I must take actual work.  Ha ha I take it so seriously that I almost never do it.  Heh that's much closer to the truth about my life than I want to admit at the moment.  Youch!

This blog is about to end.  I'm not happy about it at all.  It's my decision though, not anything that is being forced upon me or decided by anyone else.  If I can't do this blog in the way that I want to, then I'd rather not do it.  See, I have genuinely enjoyed the heck out of this blog; it turned out to be way more enjoyable and time-consuming and moving and rewarding and surprising and shocking and provocative and engaging and fun fun fun and deep and weird and ugly and beautiful and longer and more popular and more amusing and more serious and more stupid and more expletive-laden and more Christianity-focused and more personal and more meaningful and more self-exposing and more candid and more detailed and more honest and more rewarding and more enjoyable than I ever imagined it would be.  I'm thankful, and the fact that people read this blog or commented in it was an essential part of doing it, for me, so I feel this profound gratitude towards every person who ever read any part of this blog, and even more than that, towards every person who commented here even once, and even more than that, to those of you who commented more than once or read more than one part of the blog.  How nice of you.  How generous and thoughtful of you.  How tolerant of you.  Yes, tolerant:  I am not the easiest person to love or like or talk to or read about or listen to or talk with, and yet many people talked with me here, and I appreciate that so much.

I'm going to go get high now in order to celebrate something wonderful.  Then I plan to do some RPs later today after I'm no longer high and will hopefully have the time and energy and attention to really enjoy doing that.

I will soon explain why this blog is ending, and then and only then, I'll do my last post.  No wait, what I meant to say was, my last post will contain a full explanation of why I decided to end the blog.  But that won't happen right now, and it might actually take a few days before I get to that.

Even the posts today to this blog were delights to read.  So many fascinating and friendly folks flew by.  Thanks, folks.  :)

Offline Vekseid

Re: rude 'n' ridiculous rants + polite but painfully-slow prattle with passers-by
« Reply #402 on: December 21, 2012, 03:30:39 PM »
...  If I can't do this blog in the way that I want to, then I'd rather not do it.  ...

You implied that we might be fascist because we banned a guy who admitted that his modus operandi was to take advantage of vulnerable women, calling it a violation of free speech.

While I'm not big on shutting down criticism (and have told people so), it can be very frustrating to read a tirade whose very premise is invalid. In particular - what was specifically sexist about what he wrote? The genders could easily be and occasionally do get swapped. Like many high-functioning sociopaths, he likened himself specifically to a predator, and tended to reinforce that imagery.

Elliquiy not being a democracy, we owe nothing to such people. Letting them stay is never worth it.

Offline mrsjaz

Re: rude 'n' ridiculous rants + polite but painfully-slow prattle with passers-by
« Reply #403 on: December 21, 2012, 05:39:59 PM »
Exactly.  >:(

Offline mrsjaz

Re: rude 'n' ridiculous rants + polite but painfully-slow prattle with passers-by
« Reply #404 on: December 21, 2012, 06:20:56 PM »
And can I also add for Rick's benefit, that I'm also glad and gratified that all posts are eventfully monitored. Pushing the limits of what is acceptable is not only not christian it's ridiculous.   

Offline mrsjaz

Re: rude 'n' ridiculous rants + polite but painfully-slow prattle with passers-by
« Reply #405 on: December 21, 2012, 06:31:58 PM »
And can I also add for Rick's benefit, that I'm also glad and gratified that all posts are eventually monitored. Pushing the limits of what is acceptable is not only not christian it's ridiculous.

Thanks Vex.

Please forgive the error I did not see it.


Offline rick957Topic starter

Re: rude 'n' ridiculous rants + polite but painfully-slow prattle with passers-by
« Reply #406 on: December 21, 2012, 08:17:52 PM »
You implied that we might be fascist because we banned a guy who admitted that his modus operandi was to take advantage of vulnerable women, calling it a violation of free speech.

While I'm not big on shutting down criticism (and have told people so), it can be very frustrating to read a tirade whose very premise is invalid. In particular - what was specifically sexist about what he wrote? The genders could easily be and occasionally do get swapped. Like many high-functioning sociopaths, he likened himself specifically to a predator, and tended to reinforce that imagery.

Elliquiy not being a democracy, we owe nothing to such people. Letting them stay is never worth it.

Vekseid, you are welcome to post here any time you want, about anything you want, and your opinion matters to me.  In this case, however, I don't know how to respond to this or if you even want a response.  As you probably know, I hope, I am already discussing this matter in private messages with a different member of Elliquiy's staff.  I assumed that the conversation was happening in private because that was the preference of the staff.  Your comment here has raised the issues in this public context.  Am I supposed to respond both in public and in private to both conversations? 

I was just told (privately) that I made a mistake by addressing the other person as an individual person instead of as a representative of the collective staff.  I apologized for doing this but don't really understand what that meant, and I told that person so.  Are both of you speaking on behalf of the staff, or is one or the other of you addressing me personally?  I was also told that I was "personalising" the situation and potentially causing unnecessary and unwanted "drama" as a result.  Your post here mentions a specific and personal human emotion -- frustration -- that you feel or felt.  I appreciate your candor and do not find the reference inappropriate, except that this mentioning of a personal feeling seems to be the same sort of thing I was just reproached for doing by another person representing the staff.  I told him that I did not intend to inappropriately personalize our discussion, but because the issues underneath the conversation are extremely important to me personally, it's only natural for me to feel moved by the conversation and to try to make my case forcefully.  I have tried and will continue to try to be calm and respectful and polite throughout, regardless of the outcome.  I'm just saying that this aspect of your post here seems to directly conflict with that part of the PM I was just sent by a different staffperson, so I am at a loss for how to reconcile the seeming contradiction.

None of this discussion needs to take place for my sake, as I have already told the other staffperson in the other conversation that my decision about how to respond to this overall situation has already been made, and the only thing I need now is a simple "yes" or "no" from that staffperson about one specific request I have made.

My personal impression is that I am among a handful of Elliquiy members who are not wanted here by the staff but nevertheless slip through the cracks of the vetting process for membership because the reasons I am not wanted are not openly addressed during that process, nor are they likely to be.  Those people who hold certain views not shared by certain staffpeople are not welcome at Elliquiy and will not be treated with the same consideration or respect as everyone else here.  I've learned this firsthand on multiple occasions now and seen it happen to others on multiple occasions.  I am not a staffperson and do not feel that I have any power or say over the way Elliquiy is run, nor do I feel that my critical opinions about Elliquiy can be openly expressed -- even with politeness and all due respect -- even with friendliness and affection and positive, constructive motives -- without getting inappropriate responses from the staff, ones I cannot even protest or point out without getting further such responses.

In light of these unfortunate and undesirable circumstances, which I believe I have understood correctly, even though I assume the staff would disagree strongly with my understanding and my claims, I have already decided to stop blogging at Elliquiy, just as I previously decided to stop posting to the PROC section, for similar reasons.  Most of the other people who like me discover that they are not welcome at Elliquiy and who find themselves receiving unfair treatment due to their personal views simply go away.  They don't want to fight or cause drama.  Neither do I.  I assume that I can continue to RP at Elliquiy without any problem as long as I keep my mouth shut about certain things, so I plan to do just that. 

I like Elliquiy a whole lot in spite of its faults or my negative experiences here, which have been relatively few and far between.  I hold the site and its staff in extremely high regard.  The sincerity of that view of mine has already been directly questioned in private, and yes that hurts my human feelings, and I also consider it inappropriate, but I can't prove my sincerity in any conclusive way, except to point out that I wouldn't waste anywhere near this much time or effort having discussions about things I don't care about with people I don't care for.  I am sorry if it is inappropriate for me to assert here and now that I like Elliquiy and its staff, but from my perspective at least, it seems relevant and not inappropriate, since it indicates part of my motive for even having these discussions.

I would prefer to conclude this discussion either in private or in public but not both, and I would prefer to conclude the discussion with just one staffperson rather than two.  I hope that will be possible.  Thanks.



@ mrsjaz

I appreciate your views and your decision to share them with me in a polite and candid way.  I will try to respond to you in private eventually, but I have other things I want to get done before then involving conversations with other people at Elliquiy, so I must ask you to be extremely patient about getting a response.  Thank you, sincerely.

Offline Vekseid

Re: rude 'n' ridiculous rants + polite but painfully-slow prattle with passers-by
« Reply #407 on: December 22, 2012, 01:16:34 AM »
Vekseid, you are welcome to post here any time you want, about anything you want, and your opinion matters to me.  In this case, however, I don't know how to respond to this or if you even want a response.  As you probably know, I hope, I am already discussing this matter in private messages with a different member of Elliquiy's staff.  I assumed that the conversation was happening in private because that was the preference of the staff.  Your comment here has raised the issues in this public context.  Am I supposed to respond both in public and in private to both conversations? 

I was just told (privately) that I made a mistake by addressing the other person as an individual person instead of as a representative of the collective staff.  I apologized for doing this but don't really understand what that meant, and I told that person so.  Are both of you speaking on behalf of the staff, or is one or the other of you addressing me personally?

I'm talking to you on my own, as a person, about a somewhat different subject.

  I was also told that I was "personalising" the situation and potentially causing unnecessary and unwanted "drama" as a result. 

That would be the complex you present here:

Quote
My personal impression is that I am among a handful of Elliquiy members who are not wanted here by the staff but nevertheless slip through the cracks of the vetting process for membership because the reasons I am not wanted are not openly addressed during that process, nor are they likely to be.  Those people who hold certain views not shared by certain staffpeople are not welcome at Elliquiy and will not be treated with the same consideration or respect as everyone else here.  I've learned this firsthand on multiple occasions now and seen it happen to others on multiple occasions.  I am not a staffperson and do not feel that I have any power or say over the way Elliquiy is run, nor do I feel that my critical opinions about Elliquiy can be openly expressed -- even with politeness and all due respect -- even with friendliness and affection and positive, constructive motives -- without getting inappropriate responses from the staff, ones I cannot even protest or point out without getting further such responses.

If you want to open up a critique of how Elliquiy is run and want me to stand up for your ability to say it, post it in Bad & Ugly or On Topic (I usually prefer On Topic, but sometimes if it's an emotional topic we move such things to B&U). Key note that, if you want to discuss specifics (as in specific people) that argument should be made first. Making your blog into it isn't going to get the opinions of everyone who might be interested.

Such threads can and have changed policy.

Ultimately the purpose of community leadership is to ensure a healthy, comfortable environment for its citizens. We are servants, after a fashion, but we all have different roles. People ask in the Help! forum or staff-members directly for threads to get moved, name changes, boards to be made, etc. The forums go down or even get slow - and I take care of it. Even with the donations, my work here gets about a quarter of minimum wage.

So people participate here because they feel Elliquiy has something to offer them - and this includes you - and reality is such that Elliquiy is going to offer more to certain classes of people than others. Friction can occur for many reasons - maybe it's the general board culture. Maybe staff wants to set a standard of behavior that differs.

Unfortunately that might not be where you are standing, and you might feel alienated or excluded because of it. What one group sees as making the place better another may see as persecution.

So you have grievances. Go over to On Topic and set them forth. Demand your thoughts be given consideration. The worst that can happen is nothing.

Quote
Your post here mentions a specific and personal human emotion -- frustration -- that you feel or felt.  I appreciate your candor and do not find the reference inappropriate, except that this mentioning of a personal feeling seems to be the same sort of thing I was just reproached for doing by another person representing the staff.  I told him that I did not intend to inappropriately personalize our discussion, but because the issues underneath the conversation are extremely important to me personally, it's only natural for me to feel moved by the conversation and to try to make my case forcefully.  I have tried and will continue to try to be calm and respectful and polite throughout, regardless of the outcome.  I'm just saying that this aspect of your post here seems to directly conflict with that part of the PM I was just sent by a different staffperson, so I am at a loss for how to reconcile the seeming contradiction.

The only two valid options are to either fully embrace our passions or abandon them entirely?

Staff manage the blogs in a way they don't for other forums. They want a certain degree of class for participating here. You disagree. Like I said, you can make another thread arguing for a change in policy.

Quote
In light of these unfortunate and undesirable circumstances, which I believe I have understood correctly, even though I assume the staff would disagree strongly with my understanding and my claims, I have already decided to stop blogging at Elliquiy, just as I previously decided to stop posting to the PROC section, for similar reasons.  Most of the other people who like me discover that they are not welcome at Elliquiy and who find themselves receiving unfair treatment due to their personal views simply go away.  They don't want to fight or cause drama.  Neither do I.  I assume that I can continue to RP at Elliquiy without any problem as long as I keep my mouth shut about certain things, so I plan to do just that. 

There's a reason I don't participate in PROC much, either. I do get chastised by staff and try to make an endeavor to correct my behavior. One incident in particular led to most of staff at the time threatening to quit if it ever happened again.

Problems are generally not resolved by refusing to attempt to.

Offline Ryuka Tana

Re: rude 'n' ridiculous rants + polite but painfully-slow prattle with passers-by
« Reply #408 on: December 22, 2012, 01:46:10 AM »
There's a reason I don't participate in PROC much, either. I do get chastised by staff and try to make an endeavor to correct my behavior. One incident in particular led to most of staff at the time threatening to quit if it ever happened again.

"This, to me, is a big problem. It's not one I'd endeavor to change, because I don't need the grief. That's part of the problem, it's a lot easier to just not participate in large swaths of this site, than to fight about it and get talked down to. I know this technically isn't my conversation or my blog, but I spend a lot of time talking to rick because he's a person here who I don't agree with constantly, yet treats me with respect. I think he feels that I treat him similarly, even though I'm a bit rough around the edges with him."

"Anyway, I think it's flat out unacceptable that you feel a need to 'correct' your behavior. I've seen you speak in those threads, and elsewhere, and I respect you when you speak candidly."

"In the end, though, I'm not fighting over it. The 'worst thing' that can happen, is not nothing, but I'm not going beyond that statement. I won't, it isn't worth the grief, and it isn't worth the risk."

"I don't know if that's how rick feels, but he has been good to me, so I'll support him here with what little I can give, which is my own perspective. I'm not here to argue about it, I won't be giving my actual feelings on the subject. Weighing the ability to communicate with the people I've made friends with on this board, with the need to 'fix' anything, the former will win. That doesn't make things okay, it just means my relationships come first."

Offline mrsjaz

Re: rude 'n' ridiculous rants + polite but painfully-slow prattle with passers-by
« Reply #409 on: December 22, 2012, 03:57:28 AM »
Quote
@ mrsjaz

I appreciate your views and your decision to share them with me in a polite and candid way.  I will try to respond to you in private eventually, but I have other things I want to get done before then involving conversations with other people at Elliquiy, so I must ask you to be extremely patient about getting a response.  Thank you, sincerely.

Rick,
Outside of our Christianity discussions, I sent you a pm a few weeks ago objecting to the issue outlined by Vex, that is/was my main concern. Please don't bother yourself about responding to me privately as my concerns have been addressed above.


Quote
Pushing the limits of what is acceptable is not only not Christian it's ridiculous.  

I was not clear with what I meant above - I'd had too much wine last night! What I was trying to say was I expect us at E to promote tolerance and respect. I found it very strange a Christian would want to push that respect beyond the good standards set by E.
 

 

Offline rick957Topic starter

Re: rude 'n' ridiculous rants + polite but painfully-slow prattle with passers-by
« Reply #410 on: December 22, 2012, 05:49:01 AM »
If any staffperson sees this post and would be willing to please lock the thread, I'd appreciate that very much, thanks.

Thanks for the posts, Vekseid, Ryu, mrsjaz.  Sorry for causing you frustration or any other problems, Vekseid.  I have nothing personal against you and hope there are no hard feelings.  Sorry mrsjaz for making you think I was not promoting tolerance and respect.  Believe it or not, I was trying to do precisely that.

I'm tired of waiting to hear back from that staffperson about my request, so this will be my last post, and there will be no further explanation about why I stopped this blog.  (Who cares?)

This blog is full of information about Christianity.  Some of it is wrong, perhaps dangerously so, although not intentionally so.  All of it is flawed by the author's many huge personal flaws; he has a serious mental illness and should not be trusted.  Christianity is the only truth and the only thing that matters, so please look into it for yourself rather than trusting anything I said.

Anyone anywhere who wants to talk about anything ever is welcome to PM me.

I'll be PMing some people who posted a long time ago to reply very late to things you posted here.  You don't need to reply to the PMs or even read 'em unless you want to.

That's all folks!  Bye now!

Oh but one last thing.  This is totally not directed at anyone else; I just thought it would help to illustrate one of the key points from Vekseid's post, and I think it makes a fitting epitaph for the blog, don't you?  ;)  hehehehehe