Yay, Oniya visit. Classes up the joint. :)
Wow, "Mythbusters". What is that, a TV show? Website? Both? I don't watch TV these days, but that sounds like a concept that was designed for me. I'm obsessed with popular misconceptions, large or small.
Thanks for the back and forth yesterday, dude. Really made me think. Fun too. I appreciate it.
LOTR movies and the agony and ecstasy of having unpopular opinions and not keeping my mouth shut enoughI'm hearing bad things
about "The Hobbit" movie. I don't watch movies hardly ever any more either (yeah I'm a real blast at parties, can't you tell? heh "the man who does nothing all the time"), but I confess that I would feel just a tiny teensy itty bitty bit pleased if that movie was a big ole' bomb. That's a nasty thing to say or think, isn't it?
I love Peter Jackson but that's based on some older movie of his that I saw. I hated the hell out of the LOTR trilogy. I admitted that once at Elliquiy someplace else already. I figure that's a real dumb thing to do around here. Oughtta make me about as popular as gangrene. :) At least I'm not down on the Harry Potter books, that would be even more of a guaranteed pariah thing. I haven't read those so I've got no reason not to assume they're as good as everyone says they are.
Anyway, let me dig myself deeper into this hole, now that I've started. :) I thought the stories sucked. (Not the Tolkien stories; I haven't read those but they sound amazing and I assume they're amazing. The movies' versions of those stories, was what I thought sucked.) It took me three movies and over six hours of my life to figure that out. I watched the first one two or three times, I think, so that's even more hours. I kept thinking, wow, the first movie isn't great by itself, but once the next movie comes out, wow, suddenly this will all seem absolutely brilliant, even though right now it doesn't. Saw the second movie and had the same response: lackluster, but wow, if that third movie turns out great, then this could be exactly what everyone wanted it to be, which was an epic movie trilogy that could compete with the first Star Wars trilogy as the greatest fantasy adventure movie trilogy ever. Saw the third movie.
Yeah, that blew it, big time. Then I was done. Also more than a little annoyed that I got snookered into playing along for all that time.
I'm just full of unpopular opinions that I won't hesitate to share in public. I feel like that should be okay to do, which is why sometimes I do it. I totally respect anyone who loves those movies -- one of my best friends does -- and I enjoy hearing about why people love those movies; in fact, I'm even interested
in hearing about why, because I feel I might learn things from those people, and I love that. Having unpopular opinions can make you unpopular here and there, though; take it from me.
Heh, you don't even wanna hear about all the mega-popular films I thought were crap. This is how much of a jerk cynic I am: sometimes a movie comes out and as soon as I hear that so many people think it's great but the movie sounds dumb to me, I'll skip seeing it on purpose, assuming that it's another crap movie that most people love. Of course I shouldn't assume that without seeing the movies, but I'm a cynical jerk about stuff like that. (I figure it's okay because I try really hard not to be a jerk about stuff that's way more important than movies, so why not be a jerk about unimportant stuff? That's my deal, personally.)
Do I love some popular movies? Oh hell yes. I even love the idea
of the mega-blockbuster as a cultural phenomenon. Except when the movie sucks. Then it's just a shame.
Unfairness. I'm obsessed with it. Seriously. It can't be healthy! Also more philosophical and personal stuff, because I know you can't get enuff ... Sitting here trying to work something out in my head.
Trying to remember something I think I already know, but it's not at the front of my head. I keep forgetting incredibly important shit over and over again. I hope I remember everything I need to remember at least when I need to remember it.
Spent at least an hour, maybe two, writing an RP post today. (Hey, congratulate me: I have two active RPs nowadays and maybe one more soon. Makes me happy. Mucho fun.) It's a good RP post, by my standards, which means that it's okay. I think -- I think I'm gonna trash it though. Because I worked really really hard on it, and I'm sick of working hard on stuff, even stuff I care about -- especially
the stuff I care about. RPing is just a silly hobby of course but the literary aspects are what really interest me, and I care a lot about those, even if I'm no great shakes as a writer. You never know, maybe I'll get good someday. Gotta have yer dreams, man! Anyway, my theory is that this is the trap you fall into. You could
grind it out; you could
force everything in your life to turn out more or less how you want it, if
you bust your freakin' ass 80 hours a week and
let go of any dreams that seem impractical along the way. No. No thanks. I know it's a rare self-indulgence to even have the circumstances that make it possible to say "no thanks" to that and still be able to eat and live, but I've had that much good fortune, which is a lot. What the hell is it worth if you don't spend it? Gonna bury your gifts in a deep hole and never risk losing them in order to gain anything? Naw.
Lou Reed: "I want all of it / All of it / Not some of it / All of it / All of it / All of it / Not just some of it / But all of it". Yeah, me too, Lou. Man can turn a phrase, can't he? heh
Trying to remember. So many reasonable people reject Christianity. So many smart people. So many likable people. So many courageous, caring, admirable people. Kind people. Wise people. Beautiful people. Reject it. Right and left. Look around. If you're going to accept it, as I have, and accept not just the cute-doily parts with the flowers and ponies and shit, but the real hard parts that break you into pieces, then you gotta figure out what to make of that. How is that okay? I'm not saying, it's not okay for other people to decide to reject Christianity; I couldn't force them to accept it if I wanted to, and I wouldn't want to. I'm saying, how can I
-- or anyone else
-- seriously, think about this.
This is pretty close to the top of the endless conundrums that bug me about life and about Christianity (which is my life). If we're all equal. If we're all the same. If we all deserve the exact same outcome. How can it be okay for anyone to get a worse outcome than anyone else? It seems unfair.
I hear that there are many people who reject Christianity for reasons besides it seeming unfair. Personally I can't come up with a better reason to reject it; not even close. There are some dumb reasons out there too. But most people have pretty good reasons, from what I can tell.
How do you make Christianity seem fair enough to be acceptable to you, if you have any kind of a conscience?
The answer is that you don't. You reject your conscience. It's broken, and that's why Christianity seems unfair; because I can't tell what's really fair or unfair.
Now it sounds even more unfair, right? It does to me.
You're not supposed to tell anybody that it's hard to believe Christianity if you want anybody else to believe Christianity. Fuck that. I want everybody on the planet to believe the truth, but not at the expense of honesty and openness, because that don't make no sense. We're supposed to run towards the truth, not away from it. We're supposed to have our eyes open and help others do the same, not close our eyes and encourage that in others.
I was communicating with someone else at Elliquiy not long ago who was talking about how love is the whole point and the whole center of Christianity, and it's way more important than anything else. That person was totally right. I suppose I don't talk much about positive stuff like that because maybe it's because I have depression, I'm sick in the head. Fortunately, however, I still get to experience the love and practice the love and know the love and share the love. I just don't talk about it much here. I figure it's not too hard to find others who will. Or I hope it's not hard, at least.
Believe with your eyes wide the fuck open, or don't believe at all. That's what I do. That's what I want, for me and for you. Maybe there are other ways I can't get through my brain or something. Hope so, because this makes it seem hard, and it's not supposed to be hard, not at all, not ever. Okay maybe sometimes. But not for much longer.
I think I ran into somebody who just thinks I'm lying about believing Christianity. I found that kind of funny and utterly perplexing, because I can't figure out the motivation for doing such a thing. I don't talk about all the hard parts and all the difficulties and all the problems with Christians because I'm rejecting all of it. I talk about it so much because I cannot and will not let go of Christianity, so somehow I gotta live with the whole magilla, good and bad. There are people who think you can chop out the bad stuff and just keep the good. I don't believe that, not really. I want to. But my gut says it's not true that way, and I want what's true, not just what feels good or seems fair to me.
Does anyone really read this blog? I honestly don't know that. I mean, I see the comments, and that's amazingly cool, but even those people, I assume they don't read everything, because if I were them, I wouldn't. Here's a better question: would it be a good thing for anybody to read this blog? That one bothers me. I don't want to cause any harm to anybody. If I thought I was doing more harm than good, I think I would stop. I hope that being honest and real with people is a good thing in and of itself, if for no other reason than because so many people are full of shit.
Heh. I told a dear friend of mine recently that I think the vast majority of people live their whole lives based on stupid bullshit. (I do, by the way.) She didn't say one word
in response; she just looked at me like I had just killed her puppy
or something. hehehehehehe Boy did I feel awful afterwards. Like I destroyed her dreams, man! Nobody should do that! Believe in Santa Claus, Virginia! Wow I'm a cynical ass. :)