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Author Topic: Perverted Wishes  (Read 89364 times)

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Online Zaer Darkwail

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #75 on: July 08, 2007, 04:40:35 AM »
Granted, but anything what you eat tastes as utter crap and so killing your desire to eat.

I wish a person dearest to me gets a wish.

Offline Eyeomancer

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #76 on: July 08, 2007, 09:53:07 PM »
Granted, but unfortunately, their wish is fulfilled at an ironic moment; the next time you and they are in a disagreement, and the words come out of their mouth: "I wish you would just shut up," you are rendered permanently mute.

I wish for a turkey sandwich.  And I don't want anything twisted or weird, I don't want a zombie turkey, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, just turkey breast between two slices of fresh bread, with lettuce and tomatoes and mustard.

Offline Lirliel

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #77 on: July 08, 2007, 10:29:46 PM »
Granted only the turkey sandwich is so big that it flattens you, the building you are in at the time and well a few city/town blocks. Chow down.

I wish to be a vampire.

Offline Muse

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #78 on: July 09, 2007, 08:01:10 AM »
Granted, sweet Liriel, you are now a mosquitto. 

I wish that my roomate would wake up and devil these hard boiled eggs. 

Offline Lanzlo

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #79 on: July 09, 2007, 04:59:39 PM »
Granted. However, your roommate was just possessed by the Devil, and by develing those eggs, he used real devils. Your soul is now his, to torment for all eternity.

I wish I was immortal.

Offline Lirliel

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #80 on: July 09, 2007, 11:37:58 PM »
Granted, only you are locked in a metal box and thrown into a deep, bout forty feet, hole in the ground and then once more covered with dirt.

I wish my inspiration would come back.

Online Bliss

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #81 on: July 09, 2007, 11:43:57 PM »
Granted, only all your inspiration is focused on using bodily excretions to create mural art to forward obscure political movements.

I wish all my stuff were already packed.

Offline Eyeomancer

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #82 on: July 10, 2007, 08:05:51 AM »
The genie goes an extra step, not only packing all of your belongings but hiring the moving service as well.  Unfortunately, "Clumsy Student Movers" lives up to their name.

I wish my cousin Jan develop Irritable Bowel Syndrome in the presence of cantaloupe (imagine family picnics and grandma's fruit salad!)

Offline Lanzlo

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #83 on: July 10, 2007, 01:08:26 PM »
Granted. however, that condition is inherited. Your entire family (including you) gets Irritable Bowel Syndrome. All the time. (After all, someone's in the presence of cantaloupe.) And, since you mentioned it, you can't get enough cantaloupe.

I wish I didn't have to work, and can play games all day.

Offline Lirliel

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #84 on: July 10, 2007, 01:14:00 PM »
Wish Granted, your work fires you and you are sentenced to playing The Sims 2 24/7

I wish I could be a succubus.

Online Bliss

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #85 on: July 10, 2007, 01:23:39 PM »
Granted. However, Steve Irwin's ghost takes a liking to you and is constantly poking you with burning sticks and talking to a camera that isn't there.

I wish I had the ability to self-teleport.

Offline Lirliel

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #86 on: July 10, 2007, 01:25:26 PM »
(Good one!)

Granted, only you teleport into various worlds without oxygen causing you to well croack.

I wish to be in a big hollywood movie.

Offline Eyeomancer

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #87 on: July 10, 2007, 01:27:07 PM »
I wish to be in a big hollywood movie.

Granted.  You star opposite Tom Cruise.

Online Bliss

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #88 on: July 10, 2007, 01:36:54 PM »
...and what's your wish, Eyeomancer? :D

Offline Eyeomancer

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #89 on: July 10, 2007, 01:54:19 PM »
I wish Tom Cruise and his entire crazy culty Church of Scientology would implode, explode, combust, freeze, vaporize, evaporate, and fade away into nothingness.

Online Bliss

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #90 on: July 10, 2007, 01:57:32 PM »
Granted - but it happens because WWIII descends upon us, starting from California and working outward to encompass all nations.

I wish I had a nice, tasty, crisp tuna salad.

Offline Lanzlo

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #91 on: July 10, 2007, 02:06:33 PM »
Granted, but the tuna was way past it's pull date.

I wish for respect. (Do something with THAT! :P)

Online Bliss

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #92 on: July 10, 2007, 02:28:45 PM »
Granted - Aretha Franklin will follow you around singing the song of the same name for the rest of your days.

I wish for a music server that automatically holds ALL songs ever anywhere, to be listened to at my whim no matter where I am!

Offline Celestial Goblin

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #93 on: July 10, 2007, 02:36:36 PM »
Granted - but all the songs are in a format that plays only on AdLib sound card from ages past.

I wish to be a star of a Hollywood movie that has no scientologists in it.

Offline Lanzlo

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #94 on: July 10, 2007, 02:39:34 PM »
Granted. You're in an Uve Boul movie... a really bad rendition of 'World of Warcraft: The Musical'

I wish for celebrity endorsement for my work. (Child Passenger Safety Restraints... car seats.)

Online Bliss

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #95 on: July 10, 2007, 02:45:21 PM »
Granted - you get Britney Spears.

I wish to become independently wealthy without injury of any sort to my friends or family.

Offline Lanzlo

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #96 on: July 10, 2007, 02:51:32 PM »
Granted. It's you that is gravely injured, and you're on disability for the rest of your life. Fortunately for you, it was a work related injury, and so your company is paying your medical bills. On the down side, you're in constant pain for the rest of your long and miserable life.

(Wow, my wish was better than I thought. I could have gotten Michel Jackson. :P)

I wish for my soulmate.

Online Bliss

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #97 on: July 10, 2007, 02:53:37 PM »
Granted. It happens to be a dogfish.

I wish for an honest, industrious maid to clean my house on a monthly basis.

Offline Lanzlo

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #98 on: July 10, 2007, 02:57:10 PM »
Granted. Your house is picked clean of everything of value, once a month.

I wish for ultimate power.

Online Bliss

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #99 on: July 10, 2007, 03:00:50 PM »
Granted - and with it you get ultimate responsibility, charged with maintaining the balance of the multiverse.

I wish Firefly would come back on TV.