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Author Topic: Perverted Wishes  (Read 89442 times)

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Offline BK Geno

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #125 on: July 12, 2007, 07:25:13 AM »
Wish granted, but the genie has a bit of a hearing problem, and you get a million random, unwashed, perverted evil stalkers.

I wish I was a better DM.
« Last Edit: July 12, 2007, 07:28:47 AM by BK Geno »

Offline Stevej101

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #126 on: July 12, 2007, 08:40:56 AM »
Wish granted, you are hands a check by an lawyer of some strange old aunties estate, after  inhieritance taxes, legal fees, and back taxes on her property are paid you gain one shiney nickle.

I wish that I didn't always worry so much.

Offline BK Geno

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #127 on: July 13, 2007, 08:20:41 PM »
Wish granted, you have a stroke, and spend the rest of your life thinking you are a 5 year and therefore have less to worry about.

I wish I had a better computer.

Offline Ixy

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #128 on: July 13, 2007, 09:40:02 PM »
Congratulations!  You have earth's first 128 bit-framework processor, with 8Gb RAM and a 5 Tb hard drive...
but it only runs Windows ME.  And good luck finding drivers.

I wish men's semen tasted like chocolate.

Offline BK Geno

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #129 on: July 13, 2007, 10:59:59 PM »
Wish granted, but don't ask what KIND of chocolate they taste like. But Billy from the Cartoon Network show Grim loves this kind of 'chocolate'.

I wish I knew how I got to 2250+ posts without realizing it.

Offline Akioth

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #130 on: July 14, 2007, 01:55:12 AM »
Wish granted, you learn that your E-Mail (Read Elliquiy Mail) used your account to forward Spam on the boards.

I wish I was Sam Fisher....

Offline Lanzlo

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #131 on: July 14, 2007, 03:08:06 AM »
Granted. You are now Sam "Sammy" Davis Fisher, an 87 year old Maine resident with an incontinence problem and in debt up to his eyeballs.

I wish it wasn't so bloody damn hot.
« Last Edit: July 14, 2007, 03:13:13 AM by Lanzlo »

Offline Servant Girl

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #132 on: July 14, 2007, 05:27:18 AM »
That's easy!
It is now -270 degrees in your immediate locality.  Every cell in your body bursts from the ice crystals that form so fast you dont even have time to say

"Oh shi..."

I wish I had bigger more sexy breasts.

Online Zaer Darkwail

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #133 on: July 14, 2007, 06:04:05 AM »
Wish granted, but they arent real and they weight like a ton despite their attractive size.

I wish I would not have money problems anymore but be still rich....

Offline shadowheart

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #134 on: July 14, 2007, 08:22:24 AM »
Granted, you are now a rich, moist, delicious chocolate cake.  (well, when was the last time cakes ever had money problems?)

I wish I were in Sweden right now.

Offline Servant Girl

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #135 on: July 14, 2007, 08:31:16 AM »
Granted, you are in Sweden right now. 

(Thats bad enough... *giggles*)

Oh, ok, you are in Sweden right now, right inside Sweden, trapped in a tiny cave with no way to the surface.  About 200 feet of earth and rock are above you

I wish I could afford a new top of the line computer!

Online MagicalPen

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #136 on: July 14, 2007, 04:04:27 PM »
Wish granted.

You now have the latest in technology but no electrical outlets to plug it into!

I wish I had a job!

Online Zaer Darkwail

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #137 on: July 14, 2007, 07:01:03 PM »
Wish granted, but your job is as sewer inspector in Iran and whit legal both legal and political pressure never quit the job.

I wish I would lose some weight.....

Offline Akioth

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #138 on: July 15, 2007, 02:28:38 AM »
Wish granted, you now are the Circus Freak "Skelitor" the walking skeleton!

I wish that Lilac would Roleplay with me again!

Offline Servant Girl

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #139 on: July 15, 2007, 09:03:48 AM »
Granted, she's only too keen to play...however she now only likes playing "The Happy Elf" adventures, where nothing ever happens and the characters spend all their time telling the same 'amusing' story ad infinitum!


I wish that I could read minds

Offline BK Geno

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #140 on: July 15, 2007, 09:10:53 AM »
Wish granted, however, you are thrown into a max security prison, for a crime you did not do, and find the max range for mind reading is only 200ft. You send the rest of your life surrounded by Berthas and Bubbas, all thinking how much they would like a chicken sandwhich.

I wish that people would STOP STARING AT ME!

Offline Servant Girl

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #141 on: July 15, 2007, 09:44:57 AM »
Granted, now, thanks to your selfish wish, no one (including you) has any eyes.

I wish my name was Bethany

Offline Eyeomancer

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #142 on: July 15, 2007, 09:48:25 AM »
Granted, now, thanks to your selfish wish, no one (including you) has any eyes.

I wish my name was Bethany

Granted.  Your name is exchanged with that of one Bethany Chalmers, altering all documents you possess and memories of those who have known you, an hour before the police arrive with a warrant for the arrest of Ms. Chalmers on seventeen counts of fraud and corruption.

I wish my novels were published to great commercial and critical success.

Offline BK Geno

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #143 on: July 15, 2007, 10:03:28 AM »
Wish granted, but thanks to everyone being blind, noone can read them.

I wish for a non pervertable wish.

Offline Eyeomancer

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #144 on: July 15, 2007, 10:06:27 AM »
Foul!  How can they be published to critical success if the critics can't read them?

Offline BK Geno

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #145 on: July 15, 2007, 10:13:38 AM »
Because the critics don't actually read them, they just grab a random book, slap a label on them, which is why we have 30 #1 books of the year, and pass them on.

MOVING ON!

Wish granted, but thanks to everyone being blind, noone can read them.

I wish for a non pervertable wish.

Offline Servant Girl

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #146 on: July 15, 2007, 12:00:49 PM »
Granted, an idea for a non pervertable wish comes into your brain seconds before you are smashed into oblivion by a falling sattelite.


I wish I could make this wish again.

Offline Eyeomancer

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #147 on: July 15, 2007, 12:20:03 PM »
Granted, an idea for a non pervertable wish comes into your brain seconds before you are smashed into oblivion by a falling sattelite.


I wish I could make this wish again.

Granted.  You have the ability to make this wish again!

Granted, an idea for a non pervertable wish comes into your brain seconds before you are smashed into oblivion by a falling sattelite.


I wish I could make this wish again.

Granted.  You have the ability to make this wish again!

Granted, an idea for a non pervertable wish comes into your brain seconds before you are smashed into oblivion by a falling sattelite.


I wish I could make this wish again.

Granted.  You have the ability to make this wish again!

Granted, an idea for a non pervertable wish comes into your brain seconds before you are smashed into oblivion by a falling sattelite.


I wish I could make this wish again.

<repeat ad infinitum>

I wish a handsome, single, wealthy gentleman would walk into my office and sweep me off my feet, for a dashing, romantic weekend in Paris.

Offline BK Geno

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #148 on: July 15, 2007, 12:37:39 PM »
Wish granted, but the gentleman is really a serial rapist, and you are taken to Paris Texas where you are repeatedly raped, and when you try to file charges, his pet lawyers make sure he is never punished, and you never get anything.

I wish whatever the non-perventable wish was.

*scratches head*Did that make any sense?

Offline Servant Girl

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #149 on: July 15, 2007, 12:39:23 PM »
Granted, unfortunately you have no idea what you wished for and never will.

I wish that no one would ever reply to this post.