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Author Topic: Perverted Wishes  (Read 89403 times)

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Offline Servant Girl

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #175 on: July 17, 2007, 12:51:33 PM »
Sure you have PS3.  Its a strange, newly discovered disease.  Embarrassing, painful and I'm afraid terminal.

I wish I wasn't so tired!

Offline BK Geno

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Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #176 on: July 17, 2007, 12:58:54 PM »
Granted, you get three broken Play Stations from Ebay.

I wish that I already had graduated with my BA degree from my college.

Offline Stevej101

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #177 on: July 17, 2007, 01:04:58 PM »
Granted, you have a BA in underwater basket weaving, the only place that will hire you with that is second shift assistant manager at WalMart.

I wish that occasionally things could go from bad to better for a change.

Offline Servant Girl

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #178 on: July 17, 2007, 01:10:03 PM »
Granted, they go from bad to better.... and then from better to catastrophically horrendous.

I wish I wasn't so tired

Offline Lanzlo

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #179 on: July 17, 2007, 01:29:42 PM »
OK, multiple wish fulfillment here!
I wish that my two brain cells could ocassionally grasp a thought together.

Granted! However, the only thought you can grasp is the ecology of the dung beetle.

I wish I wasn't so tired

Granted! Your metabolism speeds up so that you never feel tired! Unfortunately, due to your increased metabolism, you have to eat constantly, and you die two days later of old age.

I wish I could cast magic; true, fantastic, Gandolf-style magic, not the stage illusions most people think of, and not the card game.

Offline Servant Girl

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #180 on: July 17, 2007, 01:36:46 PM »
Granted you can!  However as a byproduct of your first spell you are whisked away to medieval England where you are immediately arrested and executed as a witch before you magical powers can recover.

I wish that only good things could happen to me.

Offline Cherri Tart

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #181 on: July 17, 2007, 01:42:38 PM »
granted.  Nothing ever happens to you, good or bad, and you live a long and boring life.

I wish i could play guitar and be in a rock band.

Offline Lanzlo

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #182 on: July 17, 2007, 02:07:12 PM »
Granted. You are whisked away to prehistoric times, where you invent the first guitar. You're not very good, and the other cavemen haven't quite caught on to the concept of music yet, so they continually bang rocks together.

I wish to know the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything TM.

Offline Servant Girl

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #183 on: July 17, 2007, 02:43:49 PM »
Granted, you know.  However its such a disappointment that you lose the power of rational thought.

I wish I had a turkey sandwich

Offline Zaer Darkwail

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #184 on: July 17, 2007, 02:45:12 PM »
Wish granted, but sadly turkey is quite still alive when it is put between two pieces of bread and so it runs away before you can capture it.

I wish to be sex toy to Jessica Alba.

Offline Servant Girl

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #185 on: July 17, 2007, 03:17:38 PM »
granted, you are transformed into a vibrator belonging to the actress.  However, you are stolen by thieves before you are used and sold on ebay.

I wish I was Jessica Alba

Offline Lanzlo

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #186 on: July 17, 2007, 03:26:24 PM »
Granted. But, after regaining your stolen vibrator from Ebay, it shorts out and you're electrocuted.

I wish I had a nice car.

Offline Ixy

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #187 on: July 17, 2007, 07:23:28 PM »
Granted...you now have a beautiful 69 Camaro.  It's parked on your chest, though,so enjoy it for the next two or so minutes.

I wish I had a cigarette.

Offline Servant Girl

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #188 on: July 17, 2007, 07:31:00 PM »
Granted you have a cigarette, it is full of the usual toxins that infest your lungs and throat... you are destined to die of lung cancer in a few years time

I wish I had gone to bed two hours ago.

Offline Sethite

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #189 on: July 18, 2007, 12:21:32 PM »
Wish granted, but while sleeping you missed the results of national lotery and lost an information that you won 1.000 000 $

I wish I have a horse.

Offline Servant Girl

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #190 on: July 18, 2007, 05:13:41 PM »
Wish granted.  You have a horse.  Its a gigantic shire horse with a personality disorder.
It kicks you to death.

I wish that I found out about the lottery the following day.

Offline Zaer Darkwail

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #191 on: July 18, 2007, 05:21:31 PM »
Wish granted, but in tomorrow you cant get lottery money because you did not call on the show who runned the national lottery who had canceled your victory after the night.

I wish different father.....

Offline Celestial Goblin

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #192 on: July 18, 2007, 05:24:32 PM »
Granted, you can have mine.
(oh those fathers. :P)

I wish for Nyarlathotep to be my personal slave.

Offline Lanzlo

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #193 on: July 18, 2007, 05:55:27 PM »
Granted, but the process of owning him drives you mad, and you end up heralding in the end of time as usual.

I with the US had a president that wasn't a moron.

Offline Servant Girl

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #194 on: July 18, 2007, 05:56:25 PM »
Granted, the US president becomes an evil genius overnight.  Soon you are wishing for your idiot back again!

I wish I was your personal slave

Offline Hunter

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #195 on: July 18, 2007, 05:59:37 PM »
Granted and you'll enjoy every second of it.   :P

I wish for a better paying job.

Offline Servant Girl

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #196 on: July 18, 2007, 06:03:48 PM »
Granted, you are given a 1cent per hour raise.  This puts you into a higher tax bracket and you end up $100 a week worse off

I wish I was the US president
« Last Edit: July 18, 2007, 06:04:50 PM by Servant Girl »

Offline Hunter

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #197 on: July 18, 2007, 06:15:03 PM »
Granted but you'll be impeached before you move into the White House.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

Offline Servant Girl

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #198 on: July 18, 2007, 06:22:21 PM »
Granted, you know that you want to wish that the impeachment fails and I successfully enter the whitehouse

I wish you get your wish

Offline Hunter

Re: Perverted Wishes
« Reply #199 on: July 18, 2007, 06:23:45 PM »
Then I get to be the first house husband in the white house.

I wish for the last poster as my personal sex slave.