Cringe worthy typos and mess ups

[Degusaurusrex]

What are some cringe worthy writing mess ups you've made before? Maybe you're reading back for a reminder, to back the story up, whatever. Then you find a typo, or part of a sentence that makes you cringe.

"Was I drunk? Was I half asleep when I wrote this?' And the like. I once read back through a roleplay and realized I'd said my character got her boyfriends nose tattooed on her.

NAME. I MEANT NAME.

[Nico]

I made one recently that made me cringe. I used "the" in front of a name, turning the person into an object by accident.

~laughs~

I was like "Why, Nico, why?"

[clonkertink]

Back when I was a TA for a Western Civilization course, a student submitted a paper arguing that "Martin Luther caused a dramatic shit in the religious thought of his time."

Typos aside, it was actually a pretty good paper. But I did get a giggle out of it. Especially because Martin Luther attributed much of his religious thought to chronic constipation.

[Mr Quixotic]

I started a new story and cannabilised an opener I'd written before for the same concept, which hadn't gone past three posts. I changed the characters names (in my head), but the problem was, I didn't change them all in the revised opener. So, there was a mixture of the old and the new names throughout the post, which totally confused my partner. Worse, all of the names got stuck in my mind and, hard as I tried, I continued to mix them up in subsequent replies. I'd message my collaborator with, "I think I got them all right this time," only to be met with, "Um, no you didn't, check the third paragraph, xD."  I just wanted to crawl into a hole and hide. This went on for about five posts until my brain finally sorted it all out.

The most fun one, however, was in a tense written exchange between my characters and my collaborators in one of my stories, I used "Quid Pro Pro" instead of 'Quid Pro Quo." My partner messaged me with, "Quid Pro Pro; is that another term I'm not familiar with that means something else?" (I think she was just being nice.) I messaged back and said, "Nah, I stuffed up." But, as much as I wanted to, I resisted going back and fixing it, and when her character used the correct term in her reply - without referring to my characters error - , I had him identify his own mistake and sarcastically compliment her on her superior knowlege of Latin. Which my partner loved and couldn't stop giggling over; so in the end, it turned a cringe-worthy negative into a positive 

[Esoterica]

Oh the best typo I ever did, was a King Arthur like roleplay years and years ago, when I was still rather new and pathetic with roleplaying, and I was writing one of those intimidating first posts. I started the post:

It was a dark and stormy knight....

[clonkertink]

Just reading an old post I found that instead of the sexiest time ever, my character and her boyfriend were apparently going to have a very sexist date.

Whoops.

I mean, I might read that alternate universe just for the giggles.

[Vlexia]

Not typos in a story....but they haunt me.

Meaning to type “I wanna lick those balls when I get home” and it turning into “I wanna kick those balls when I get home”. Both, apparently, weren’t surprising coming from me.

And of course the opposite happens at the worst times. Telling your girlfriend going through a divorce that I “will kick your husband’s ass” if she needs me to....autocorrecting it into “I will lick your husband’s ass” if she needs me to. Whew!

And then one day I get called into HR at work and my boss hands me a printout of an email I sent. I meant to type “sorry I won’t be able to make it for the meeting, as my SHIFT starts at 9AM.” Well....I accidentally typed “sorry I won’t be able to make it for the meeting, as my shit starts at 9AM.” That dumb little “f” being forgotten is a big deal!

[Black Howling]

I often feel like the king of these. Here recently I decided that a character of mine was 'revving' the emotions on his counterpart's face instead of reading them.

Another fun one was noting that I had a character say "I remember that." in reference to a trans character instead of "I remember them." >_>

Just two recent ones, I have a long list I could work through on here.

[Remiel]

In one of my stories, my character is making his girlfriend wear a small vibrator that happens to be remote-controlled by phone app.  As he is putting her through her paces, I make a reference to the girlfriend's "squirming discomfort".  Only thing is, I have a brain fart and accidentally put in the writer's name instead of the character's name: "X's squirming discomfort".

Next day I get a PM from said writer pointing out the mistake and saying "bit presumptuous of you   ".

[Degusaurusrex]

In one of my stories, my character is making his girlfriend wear a small vibrator that happens to be remote-controlled by phone app.  As he is putting her through her paces, I make a reference to the girlfriend's "squirming discomfort".  Only thing is, I have a brain fart and accidentally put in the writer's name instead of the character's name: "X's squirming discomfort".

Next day I get a PM from said writer pointing out the mistake and saying "bit presumptuous of you   ".

That.. Is hilarious. Unfortunate, but it did make me laugh.

[Hanne]

I work quite a bit, and so I use my phone often for posting. Well, auto-correct can be a serious shit sometimes.

[gaggedLouise]

Not my own slip, but I remember reading a blog post a few years ago about a defamation case due to reach court. The owner of the blog was a semi-retired journalist who is also mildly dyslectic, and at one point he wrote that some magazine that had commented on the story was no doubt motivated in their analysis by "juridiska skäl" (judicial/legal reasons) - but slipping on two letters, he instead said it was for "judiska skäl" (Jewish reasons).

All the more itchy since the defamation touched on questions of race and ethnicity. When I pointed it out in a comment he admitted at once it was both fatal and comical. :)

[Marumor]

Told someone "Happy Bitchday!" once.

Not really cringeworthy, but hey.

[clonkertink]

Told someone "Happy Bitchday!" once.

Not really cringeworthy, but hey.

Every day can be Bitchday with the right attitude!

[Marumor]

Every day can be Bitchday with the right attitude!

Ha!

That's true.

[Oniya]

Told someone "Happy Bitchday!" once.

Not really cringeworthy, but hey.

I'm going to use that next year (minus a couple days).

'It's my bitchday, and I'll bitch if I wanna!' (apologies to Lesley Gore)

[confessor]

(I think I'm allowed to post here while I'm waiting approval?)

I'm often intimidated by other writers so I'll sit there and try to proofread and STILL send a complete mess. Like, delete half a sentence and re-word it, but not delete it enough so it's obvious what I was GOING TO say, but it just cuts into the edited version. Makes me feel so dumb. Especially if the new sentence was way different.

Just something like "She tackles him and bites his she shakes his hand and greets him warmly."

(obviously not a specific example, but the dramatic 180 has happened)

[Lyron]

As often as my fingers often write out sound alike words in place of the real word, I feel like I should have some, but I guess it's become so mundane anymore. However, there is one I can remember someone else doing on a chat-based RP site. Her character was a dragon flying around in the sky intending to greet friends:

"Hell you two!"