Tails of Monkey - Adventure awaits!

[Catherine]

I explained what I had found at the bottom of the harbor and the message that was inscribed on it. How it was a bunch of lines and other things, including the pig that looked like a cat. About taking a mental Polaroid of it so I could decipher the ancient symbols then of course what I got after deciphering it.

Rachel stood there for a moment, thinking about the message. Pointing to something behind me wth motion of her hand. I didn't bother looking back to see what she was pointing at, foot came up and then down on something that squished. I did hear some popping sounds though right after the squishing. She did a couple more pointing episodes as we talked, which I would follow with stepping and then squishing.

"It sounds like that could be the local burger joint to be honest." Rachel said with another point, which was followed by a squish.

"That sort of makes sense really," I nodded, grinding my foot into the squishy thing.

A look of surprise appeared on Rachel's face with a blink, "It does?"

I nodded again, "The whole pig thing and hamburgers and potatoes. Other than the whole cat pig thing, evil cannot find any burgers or potatoes in the harbor. Well at least I don't think so. Are there sea pigs?"

Rachel just shrugged, "Not sure, maybe manatees or fat goldfish."

"Maybe, but they aren't in the ham family so the burgers wouldn't be hamburgers. Potatoes float, unless they are weighted down, looking at the harbor I don't see any potatoes at all."

I could see the hand slowly coming up and Rachel's fingers assuming the position of rubbing the bridge of her nose, "This is stupid."

"No it isn't." Stamping my foot just once, "It is simple logic. Unless pigs can hold their breath under the water or have scuba certification there is no hamburgers in the harbor and I see no potatoes floating, so no potatoes cut into weird shapes either."

"Fine.... It still is stupid though."

My shoulders drop, "Okay, but if you think about it, it isn't."

Slowly Rachel shook her head, "Okay.... There can only be one place in town that would fit what you told me and that the Entry and away burgers. Which is near here."

I take a deep breath before answering, "that smells franchise."

"Quite."

"Point the way then. Let's see how evil likes their burgers done. "


******


Quickly Rachel lead me away from the dock and the things that I kept stepping on. Maybe they were slugs or something with suckers. I am going with slugs, while not much better, especially if you step on enough of them their squishiness sort of starts leaking through your shoes and well ick. While people step on grapes with their bare feet I wouldn't recommend doing that with slugs. Why, you ask. Because grapes go splat and slugs go squish. That should be good enough. Just imagine every time you step you hear a squish, your feet getting a little more sticky with every step. Your trembling aren't you? I am!

We head off away from the waterfront, down this way and up this other way. I notice something as we walk and I stop. Looking down I can see a clear path in the stones that made up what we walked on. I couldn't say street or sidewalk since I kept jumping from one to another. Why? It was fun. Hop. Step. Hop. Walk. Hop. Hop. Shimmy. Hop and walk. The path was a scratch, about so deep, that seemed like it ran from the harbor to where we was going. Unless someone drug something for the fun of it, this wasn't a good sign. I think in the book 'not good signs' it was number thirty two.

'Large scratches in the ground doesn't lead to good things. The last things that left scratches in the ground was dinosaurs and those had teeth and claws and are really big. Do you understand what we are trying to say little cocktail weenie. Nom nom'

"Um" I say looking back up at Rachel as she continued to walk away, oblivious to me stopping and looking at something. "What is wrong?" Rachel asks to see the cause of the um.

I point towards the gouge, "Deep gouge, not good. Could be a dinosaur."

"Okay, no." Rachel said as she closed her eyes, "there isn't a dinosaur. That would be too strange and I would have known. "

"Strange? We fought shrimp and dog things."

"Okay, I will give you that but I haven't seen any dinosaurs and I think I would have remembered seeing one." Rachel nodded.

"Maybe a small one, something gouged the ground." I say motioning towards the ground.

"No small dinosaurs either. That could have been made by anything."

"Like a small dinosaur," I say smiling, hoping Rachel would agree.

"Fine, like a small dinosaur."

Nodding at little, "I knew it! As long as it isn't a raptor we are good or a t-Rex. Although if it is a t-Rex, it would have small arms and we can just put a hand on their head and stay away from their teeth."

"Ugh, this is ridiculous. Let's get going and see your dinosaur. Hopefully it isn't purple and sings. If it does I am going to do something not nice."

"It won't be, I don't like dancing ones or ones that spit. Which is nasty, they always spit in your face, no manners. Oh and ones that would hurt me."

"It better not be any of those," Rachel said not even bothering to warn me of her starting to walk away. When I look up, I see Rachel is half way down the block, quickly I begin to walk, eyes open for dinosaurs.


*****


Turning the corner, luckily there were no dinosaurs hiding there either or they would have gotten a hiyah. Probably to the knees too, since they are so tall. Karate chop and smile as I take a step backwards, "Oh hi. I was just smacking a fly that is all not you. I  hiyah flies. It gives them enough time to say their prayers. It wasn't a statement of chopping really." Followed by a cute monkey girl shaped cloud left behind as I take off.  The dinosaur stomping its feet as it chases after me.

I can see the place of meat and potatoes sitting there, it's sign blazing a bright red with white lettering declaring, 'Entry and Away burgers' with a big yellow arrow pointing towards the building just in case you didn't know where it was.  In this area it stuck out like a sore thumb since its architecture didn't match not a single thing in the had area, probably didn't match anything in the city. This part of the country. Maybe even this part of the world.

It was a big white building with a roof that was red and accents all over the building  building if yellow. If I had to say 'it looks like this', I say it looked like a ketchup and a mustard package got in a fight in a modern sort of way. Nothing about it screamed, 'Fishing Village' at all. It screamed modern, speak and sticking out.  They could have carried some of the wet rock or even the puddles and it what have sort of it but nope. Entry and Away burgers don't play that, sort of fake retro in a modern sort of way.

I turned towards Rachel and told her to wait. If evil was here, which by the scratched path leading right to the front door telling me it was, I didn't want Rachel anywhere near wings and tentacles until I knew more. That is a rule or something, it might even be a recommendation or at worse a hint. Let's see, it goes... Don't bring others into a situation with something with tentacles or bat wings until you know more. Not everyone likes sucker impressions all over them or having to get tangled bat wings out of their hair. They are like gum, just leathery with tiny claws, so they will be had to get untangled.

She tried to say she was coming but fingers pressed to lips stopped that. Well I think those stopped her I can't really say since I had already turned my attention, to the building with red umbrellas and a drive thru menu that glowed ominously, as I pressed my finger to Rachel's lips. It felt wet and I am surprised that her lips felt sort of... How could I say it, well think it since if I said it Rachel might ask for my stick. I would say hmmm.... Like two.... Let me see. I press my fingers back onto Rachel's lips, definitely that wet ummm....  As I pull my finger away, I heard Rachel spitting and a guttural growl, "Stop putting your finger in my mouth!"

"What? That sort of explains the whole.." I started to say as I turned to look at Rachel.

"Sort of explains what?" 

Standing there, I could see Rachel's face starting to turn red like a thermometer, "Ooh, um  nothing." Think fast little monkey girl. Quickly I put my hands on Rachel's arms and lead her to one of those cement tire stops, gently suggesting her to sit down and not to pick up the cement stop and leave impressions of it in my head ."You stay here please and I will be right back. I will bring a burger and fries back for you. It looks sunny, so you can work on your tan too. That and just in case there is evil, I will need a secret catch it by surprise weapon just in case things go bad and oh yeah..."

I reach up and carefully pull the banana milkshake off the top of my head. Handing it to Rachel I tell her that I need someone I can trust to watch my shake.

"Those all sound like excuses, " I hear Rachel saying as I turn towards the building.

"Maybe," I answer, "but I will come up with something better later." As I start to walk towards the building I hear a fine followed by hold the pickles and then SLURP!

((Hold the pickles!!! Burgers with no pickles. That is just meat and all of the condiments... okay maybe that is okay. Until next time.))

[Catherine]

Closer and closer I got to the building, the camera swinging around showing off the dramatic in the air. You can see it hanging in the air and everything, well you can't really since the dramatic is invisible. The only thing that is visible is the dramatics effects on things; lighting, perspective and colors. It is hard to explain really, everything is more dramatic. The lighting is just right, if need be it lights an object from below even though the lighting is coming from above. Not sure how that is done though, physics? The perspective is well wonky, one moment something you are walking to is way over there so you can get the dramatic walk in and the next moment it is right in front of you so you can stare at it dramatically. The colors, nothing says dramatic other than the lack of color other than a spot here and there.

I was getting all three as I was walking up so I had to watch my step or I would slam into the side of the building or something similar. The dramatics don't worry about your safety, all they worry about is the dramatic. They have been petitioned to dial it back on something things, like a kid's first ride on a bike. One moment they are shaky and riding away from their mom or dad and the next they are making a beeline to a lion's mouth, no one knows how that lion got there. All that matters is that it will be dramatic. Even worse the parent blinks as he is she proudly stands there, their kids biking away when suddenly they are zipping right towards them and ow!  You raise your hand ruing the day for the dramatics or something.

The best thing to do is to circle the building, surprises in kids meals are fine.since they don't try to nom you, but lurking surprises are not fine. No dogs waiting fir me since dogs are bit allowed inside. No fishies waiting in line when I get inside and no shrimp shooting bubbles at me just because.

Nothing fishy so far, I told myself as I headed towards the back of the place. That is where the Lurkers lurk, back there away from the front of the place. There they can hide in the shadows, scurry over things like crabs and me without my butter. Bad joke, let me make a connection that might have been lost. Crabs taste good dipped in butter, yum rub belly yum. Just a little butter though not so much it tastes like you are eating a stick of butter wth a tiny piece of crab. But I see nothing so far, no shells or scales just a sign with everything you can order. Which has a handful of meat products on it and some products that could be made of meat.

I can imagine nibbling on a fry and tasting the secret meat in it. Lifting  hand up, "they make their fries from meat. From meat! Is that how vegans do it? Tell me the truth! I can handle it. They really hide meat in the shapes of vegetables!!!! If it looks like a vegetable it is a vegetable, mmmm this burger I mean turnip tastes good."

Could go ahead a get Rachel her stuff before heading inside. That way she would be given enough time to digest her food, you know the rule. You must wait at least fifteen minutes after eating before fighting evil, if you don't, you get cramps and you don't want that. But if I place an order evil might over hear it and I run a chance of getting something else that I didn't order. Once I say something the tentacles and wings come out and blah.

"No I ordered a cheeseburger with.... Yikes! Without the tentacles and wings. I hope you cleaned those before making the food or at least you put gloves on and maybe a tentacle net?"

Best to wait, order inside and I can always tell evil that it needs to wait so I can run the food out to Rachel. It will understand, I hope. If it doesn't I will add the power hand sign so it knows I am not kidding. Quickly I make my way to the other side of the building, hand to cold metal handle and swing open.

******


Ding goes the door as it opens up, blowing any surprise I had really. As I step into the restaurant the door dings again and again. I can hear it preparing for another ding and I quickly look up at it and bring my finger to my lips and shhhhh..... Luckily the dinger saw me and paused at Di,  'thank you' I mouthed to it hoping it can read lips and I think it might have mouthed ding back. Kind of hard to tell really since I gave never learned to ring dinger lips, not that they have lips anyways. So I am going with it dinged a silent ding of ding saying 'your welcome'.

Looking around I am not really seeing anyone other than the one person sitting down by himself over there. Looking at the person, I was finding it hard to see any details. You know like eyes, mouth and stuff. It was like looking into well nothingness, of nothingness was in the shape of a person I think. I pause for a moment and did something rude, stare. I figured if I did I might be able to pick out some details a little, eyes would be nice. Tentacles not so much. But the longer I held the stare the more my eyes dried out, which is a gimme. Also the longer I held it the more of a headache I got. Quickly going from a dull hmmm I think I have a headache to something not as dull and more I think something is trying to rip out of my head, did an alien infect me or something. Any moment know one is going to pop out the top of my head, like one of those turkey things saying it is done and start to hiss and spit.

Screaming was out of the question since I didn't want to alarm anyone, anyone being the silhouette noming on something or Rachel since I am pretty sure if I yelled she would hear it since my head felt like it was going to explode and I would want to warn her. Yelling the wrong type of yell can have adverse effects for others, drawing them in and as soon as they get near boom goes the head and splat goes the brain stuff. I think they call it the bait and splat yell, for obvious reasons. So all I did was bring my hands up and squeeze my head hoping that would keep the whole head goes boom thing from happening.

Standing there I so felt like a Munch painting and looking over my shoulder I could see  that my tail was hunkering down as a just in case. Not good, I thought well tried to think as I stood there. Looking at my tail brought some relief, not because it was hunkering down either. But it seemed like the head splitting thing was less now, maybe if I.... I looked back at the silhouette and I got that instant head shattering feeling back in full force and even more. Ow, Ow and Ow! Oh banana this isn't good. I turned away again and like a switch the tearing and rending was gone. Now hiw about that banana that I heard mentioned. Oh yeah that was me, well pooh. I thought someone was freeing me one.

Somewhere deep inside of me, I heard a voice telling me I should look at the silhouette again. I considered it for a moment, a very short moment. More like a split moment before disagreeing with the voice. Then thinking sone thoughts that I hoped the voice could hear that were basically, "are you wanting my head to go boom?!?" Which I heard the voice reply after a long pause, "um....no?"

"Then why did you tell he to look?"

"Don't know," the voice answered, "thought it would be..."

"I am stopping you there," I thought back, "all it would be is explosive and I really don't feel like that at the moment."

"Okay, well shoot maybe later?"

"No! No maybe laters for heads going boom," I answered.

"That sounds pretty final and not open for discussion."

"It is and it is not open for discussion"

"Well, fine no head exploding then. You always get what you want anyways," the voice replied.

"Yes I do! It is my head anyways and I really don't feel like cleaning it up."

"Fine just go about doing whatever. I will just hang out back here."

I think one last thing before hearing towards the counter, "I will..." Luckily there was no line to wait in, evil doesn't like waiting. I mean I am not evil, that silhouette over there probably is and evil is known to be prompt. No wandering around before heading to evil or evil throws a fit and that is messy. Things get burned down, things explode and generally people go running and screaming. So best not to keep it waiting. No line keeps the time down but no servers makes the time long and I didn't see a soul in sight and with the head splitting thing from silhouette, I was doubting it had one. The only way to know is to ask though, but I needed something to start something and also something to prevent the booming effect.

Suddenly I heard something scrapping across the counter that drew my attention downwards. If it is a sea creature wth legs it was being very not sneaky and didn't deserve to nom me. All I saw was a tray with food stuffs, also a bag of probably food stuffs and a pair of joke sunglasses sitting there. I looked around for s moment and didn't see anyone or anything, so who or what.  But sitting there was everything I needed I think, not sure about the joke sunglasses, but everything else was there. I could run out and give Rachel her food and be back to check the whole soul thing and not have to worry about my food getting cold thing.

But the headaches ? "This better not be a punking," I whisper to myself.


*****

I slip on the joke sunglasses and of course look ridiculous.  I don't need to look, I can just sense the ridiculous. Maybe it was my ninja training that lets me sense that or I have tastes. They aren't stylish and make my head look really small. This has to be a punking, has too. There is no way these will prevent the head splitting headaches, no way. All the glasses will do is make it easier for others when my head goes boom, kind of hard to be shocked and screaming when you are pointing and laughing.

I mumble something,  that I can't even hear, before turning around to test the glasses. If they don't work they are coming off. Definitely, I tell myself when I catch my reflection in a shiny surface. The glasses were bad on the tray, nearly filling the tray and bright. Now on my head they looked like they were even larger and brighter. So bright I think I can hear them buzzing. I stop for a moment and look for any hidden cameras. Maybe there is one hidden in the plastic flowers, nope. Maybe one of the paintings hanging up has a camera hidden in it. That one over there with the creepy clown dressed like a king is definitely a possibility for that. Why even put a clown painting in a restaurant, especially a creepy king one. I am not even moving and it feels like its eyes are following me, judging me. You sure you want to eat that? Why don't you turn around super biggie vente gargantuan size it? You get a super secret toy with it. We will dust it off for you. So just turn back around and everything.

"Stop staring at me you stupid clown, " I growl, "I am not going to up size my meal. I will barely be able to finish what I have  even." Slowly I start to turn but whip back around to look at the painting. "You are creepy, " I growl, Rachel must have rubbed off on me, and march over to the painting. Carefully put my tray down, the whole time the paintings eyes are following me, reach up and grab the painting by the frame.

"Ah ha!" I announce as I pull the painting away from the wall expecting to see wires leading back to the wall. Ok.... No wires. *mental snapping of fingers* Wireless camera, only one way to block those. Quickly I flip the painting around and sit it back against the wall. "Let see you if you can creepy watch now." Nodding once as I reached for my tray again.

"Let's see how this goes," I tell myself as I turn to face the silhouette. Any moment now my head was going to explode if the glasses didn't work and there was plenty of places where brain guts could get stuck in. Like there, there and way up there. Three....two and one, boom? Head still feels like it is in my shoulders. No increased pressures. No brain guts flying. The glasses actually work!

Before I face evil I should face Rachel. Not sure which one I am dreading most. I know Rachel will point, laugh and possibly use words that I don't know. I know they exist  but chose not to use them, sone are quite tongue twisty and if you pronounce just be little thing wrong it could possibly change the meaning of the word. Riots and cities could burn down because of that. So best to stay away from them, I learned my lesson the one time and that is all it took. Still can't get the taste out of my mouth from that.

Then there is silhouette, head splitting without the funny glasses. No details that are visible but I have heard tentacles and bat wings. Which are creepy. It is still busy eating burgers, which is good. That means it will be to full too eat me. But tentacles and bat wings. *mental shiver * Those are just ick...

I have to decide though. Maybe I can....no cant don't that. What about? No not that either. Well that leaves me only one thing, slowly I reach for the bag and tray, take a deep breath and....

((Dramatic deep breath pause....))

[Catherine]

I knew it, just knew it, As soon as I stepped outside with Rachel's meal in hand I would hear laughter. Mine left inside by the way, I wasn't too worried about silhouette doing anything to my food since it was concentrating on its food. I am not sure if silhouette was taking the time to properly enjoy the food or not, it was a constant food to mouth sort of thing. I got the feeling with the little time I was in the restaurant, if you accidentally tripped and fell towards its mouth you were going to be chewed up. Like some pit in the sand that is actually some creature on a far far far off planet.

There Rachel sat laughing as I walked up, laughing because of the glasses. "What are those for?" She laughed, pointing and a almost falling off the cement tire stop thingie.

"To keep my head from blowing up," I answered handing the bag over to Rachel.

Rachel took the bag and kept laughing, "Sure..."

'It is and it does..." I said, turning around in a huff. "I tested it!"

"Uh huh.." Rachel said as she rummaged through the bag.

Without me even asking, my tail swiped at Rachel's hand and I think hissed. I am hoping it was my tail and not me. That is all I needed at the moment was some butt hiss to fuel the laughter from Rachel.

"Did you just?"

"No!"

"Sure...."

"It wasn't!"

"Okay...."

"You are saying that like you don't believe me."

"Well...."

"It wasn't me, it was my tail!"

"That is what everyone says."

"It was!"

Rachel jerked her hand away as my tail cracked and hissed, "Hey now." Without out turning around I knew she was mesmerized by my tail as it swayed back and forth like a Cobra, ready to strike those that don't believe me about the glasses, thank monkey it wasn't like a spitting cobra. That would be hard to explain. Okay tails have this one thing and this other thing which goes to this other thing that allowed it to spit. Wait a moment I think I just explained it and it makes perfect since, huh.

"I was telling the truth." I tell Rachel without turning around, my tail doing the keep the food away from Rachel until her stomach grumbles and roars. SNAP! "Hey!" HISS! "Stop that, that is just weird." SNAP! "Ow that hurt!" SNAP! GRUMBLE GRUMBLE ROAR! "Okay I give. The glasses keep your head from blowing up."

"Good," I nod, my tail slowly swinging around but keeping its eyes on Rachel. Putting her on the spot I think. Slowly I start to pet my tail and hear Rachel mumbling something as the sound of crumpling paper fills the air. I catch a part here and there but since I am not good with puzzles can't piece them together.

Before I started to walk away, I take the banana milkshake and SLURP!

Yum. Have I told you it is good? What? I have, well okay. It is like banana gold.

I tell Rachel that if I give her the signal of.... Wildly swinging my arms as I am wrapped in tentacles and my hair is messed up with bat hands, yeah that sounds like a good signal... To come running. Mouth full, Rachel nodded as I walked back to the restaurant. Time to see if the burger is any good oh and face evil. 

((Another dramatic pause duh duh duhhhhhh))

[Catherine]

The door dings again and I didn't even touch it this time, I was reaching for it and it dinged. Like it was getting the ding in for good measures or the dinger dinged because it saw into the future. A precognitive dinger, it knows when someone is about to open the door that it is attached too so it dings. But what if the person chooses not to open the door will the dinger ding? Will the dinger stay silent until it knows for certain? Maybe it is telepathic and senses the thought of opening. This is getting deep, if the door opens on its own accord then I know something is down, well up. Doors just don't do that, well those ones do but not this type of door.

Hand touches handle, no movement by the door. Pull back and ding. I will give the door that. Now if the ding sounded menacing I would have stopped there. Dings aren't suppose to sound menacing, no 'you aren't welcome here!' or 'beware the silhouette' type dings. Just  a friendly ding  so I continue inside and grab my tray.

I can see that silhouette is still eating, happily I think. Not sure if it is working on the same burger or the eightieth. It doesn't matter really somethings can put away the burgers and not have to worry. Lucky somethings. If it is on the eightieth it is preparing to hibernate, like a bear. Eat all it can, sans monkey girls of course, then go find a place to sleep. Which if it just woke up, I am doubting it is preparing for hibernation. Sleep for how long and only be awake for days then back off to bed? Yeah no....

That and I don't see anymore wrappers. Which it could be eating too, but again, while that is Eco safe and would cut down on pollution and stuff I just don't see that either. No evil thing cares about pollution, unless it wants to take over a clean world but evil just laughs at clean. Well other than twinkle vampires, they like to clean things hence the twinkle part of their name. That and the bottles of glitter that just happens to float around them all of the time, little glitter magnets.  I have heard stories of them making kindergarten classes cry when they walk by. All the glitter that the kids are using just flies up and towards the vampire leaving the kids with blank paper, crayons and macaroni shells. The kids cry as the vampire glitters. Tsk Tsk. Just evil.

Silhouette didn't look like a twinkle at all. Nothing twinkling there or surrounding there at all. So mark  that off the list. Well it time  to face evil or something that just looks well looks and figure out what it is and what it wants.

Slowly I approach silhouette then give it a smile. "It looks crowded, may I sit here." Silhouette pauses mid something and looks around the not busy restaurant then motions with something, maybe a hand, to the own chair in front of it.

"Thank you," I say sliding into the chair and putting my tray in front of me. "So...." I start to say as i bring the burger up to my mouth. "Tell me about evil."


((I think a question is a good place to end it is dramatic.... well for a question.))

[Catherine]

Silhouette doesn't really say anything, just brings the burger back up to something then back down. My eyes follow the burger for a moment and I can clearly see the bite that was just taken out of it, but unless this is an endless burger of noming, which grows back after each bite, silhouette isn't really eating. He is just bringing burger to whatever and back down like a reverse one of the those drinking birds. Ones that drink the water but really don't.

Up comes the burger again, pause and back down. A bite taken out of it. But I saw no mouth, so the whole 'I have no mouth but yet I nom' is true. Down goes the burger and up it goes again. Rinse and repeat. So odd....

"It looks like you are enjoying that burger in a noming non nom sort of way." I laugh, the second ha freezes in my mouth when silhouette stops mid swing up and I think stares at me. In that very instant it felt like every ice cube in the restaurant decided to run a marathon up my back. Thankfully not bringing the wet, that would be hard to explain.

"Say why did you shirt become so wet in a specific location on your back?"

"Ice cubes," answering with a nod.

"Okay, say what?"

Nod more, "All of them here decided to run a short marathon up my back ."

"Okay..."

Instantly I shot straight up as my tail banged into the back of the chair, giving it a headache. As I relaxed, my tail slowly swung around so I could gently pet it so it would feel better."Well it looks like you are. What with the constant  burger to mouth thing going."

I thought the first batch of ice cubes were bad, they turned around and ran back down. Again I instantly shoot straight up, banging my head against the back of the chair this time. THUMP! "Ow!"

The one thing good, out of a long list - just saying and not bragging, with being a monkey girl is that we learn fast. It usually on takes one head banging against something for us to learn something. Which is oddly convenient at the moment. Best to change topics I think, away from the nom noming thing to something less head banging against the chair thing. I don't mind learning something new, but back of head against hard surface sort of hurts!

Hmm... I pick up my burger, when in Rome. "So tell me about rock and chains. Nom.


*****

Silhouette just sat there again, I understand there is probably a lot could be said about rock and chains. More than I can probably think of. Rocks; hard, rough and some are heavy. It hurts when you get hit by one and you don't want to throw them in glass houses. Oh and dad had to replace a lot of windshields because of them. I remember him saying once he swore that they were attracted to it that he could see them changing directions so they could hit our windshield. Chains; loops looped together. Good for walking dogs, especially those really big ones that are just pure muscle. Also good for making things secure except for big gorillas. Who always manage to find the weakest link. So I am sure silhouette could expand my knowledge on both of those.

But we just sat there in silence, the only thing that could be heard was the crickets that only come with bad jokes or when it is really quiet and it was since, Well I was noming. It was a really good burger, two thumbs up. I would recommend the place of course I would leave a comment too.

'Mouth watering burger, at least a handful of napkins to prevent the floor from getting really wet. The fries suprisingly didn't taste like meat, which is a good thing. The only thing I would say that took a star away from the experience was all of the sea life that walked trying to puncture me with holes. If that could be worked on, I would give the star back. It keeps jabbing me in the butt since I keep it in my back pocket.'


Back and forth we went doing the hamburger dance. Up nom down chew up nom down chew and on and on. My burger quickly disappearing as silhouettes stayed the same. One bite and that was it.

When I finished, I patted my mouth with a napkin and placed it in the tray. I tried to start a conversation by saying it looked like it had something in its teeth. "You know I think you have a pickle stuck or something," I said with a smile as I pointed to my teeth, "right here."

Silhouette did pause for that and it sort of turned its attention to me. Sort of, no head splittings though which is good. It was more like an 'oh really' look. For a brief moment I thought I saw something shifting on silhouette's general face area. Now I will be able to see a mouth, I silently cheered but no, nothing no mouth just darkness. Well voidness.

"Honest monkey, it might be like a whole pickle really," I point to the same general location. Hopefully it was close enough so Silhouette didn't  think I was trying to deceive him. No 'you got something in your teeth and yoink goes your wallet' trick. Not that I would take silhouette's wallet, even if I could find it I would probably end up with his keys or something. Accidentally press the button on the keys and set the alarm off on his rock. Not a thief or a pick pocket, I am me. *proudly pose with dramatic lighting behind me and maybe a bald eagle calling out.*

Something blinked I think on what I think is silhouette's face. Not sure what it was, eyes maybe. Man this was rough, talking about a man of few words, not a peep. Any fewer words and silhouette would be taking mine and I liked mine.

"Could you please say something. I know you are evil and voidish, but all evil Villains  do a monologue. I am pretty sure it says it in the rules somewhere and if those are broken, chaos soon arrives and I am pretty sure you don't want that. Chaos is so chaotic." I pause and pick up a French fry, twirling it between my fingers like a little baton. Didn't know I could do that.

"Do you really want chaos to come. I heard it isn't too clean, drinks from milk container and leaves the seat up. Which isn't nice to find out in the middle of night. Cold water on the bottom wakes you up like that," snap fingers, "thrn try getting out of the bowl when your bottom is stuck in it. Just flailing arms and legs." I avert my eyes to the side and get quiet, "Why did my brother have to Leave it up? Couldn't get out and fell asleep. So embarrassing..."

*****

I grumbled and steamed for a moment as I remembered being stuck and then being found in the morning. So embarrassing.... I had ring around the butt for days and it was summer! I couldn't wear a bathing suit or shorts for days and it was hot!  Grumble. The only way I could go swimming was wear one of my great grandmothers' bathing suits, one that covered me from elbow to ankle.  Grumble. I don't mind retro, it is in, but that was older than retro. Then when I came out of the lake I had fish inside my suit and I looked like a water balloon. Grumble. Took me forever to catch the fish too and they called me 'Water Balloon' and threatened to pop me. Grumble. Stupid brother leaving the seat up. Grumble. I even yelled and screamed, but no one woke up! It was like there was a cone of silence around the bathroom, no sounds getting out or anything. Which is good most of the time but still, I was stuck and I got ring around the butt. Grumble.

"Listen," I started to say, "you don't want that. I am talking from experience. If chaos comes and leaves the seat up and you butt slips in. It is going to be embarrassing, no one will take you seriously when you say you are evil. They will just point at the ring around the butt and giggle. You will have to wear some big piece of clothing like a moo moo to cover the ring up and then you will get a nickname that will haunt you, like hmmm..... Bovid animal of the apocalypse or the technicolor tree of doom!"

I pause and take a breath, "So unless you want to find half drunk milk containers  which will lead to funny looking milk mustaches, ring around the butt or find yourself knee deep in dust bunnies with sharp teeth, you need to monologue." Sitting there I thought I explained it good enough, showed silhouette of what could happen if it didn't monologue, but there we sat. No words spoken, just silence and that was pointed out by the silence cricket chirping.

Nonchalantly I look around trying to find it. CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP. I  can hear it but not see it. It only chirps when it is quiet and as soon as I get up it goes quiet. Shy little thing. CHIRP CHIRP! There it is, ah nope, just a straw wrapper. CHIRP! Nope, that might have been an echo of one of the other chirps. I turn back to silhouette and jerk back around when I think I hear another chirp but see nothing.

"Okay...." I start to say as I turn back to silhouette, "monologue or chaos?" Again words would be nice, but silhouette raised a hand and pointed. Quickly I turned expecting to see something, again nothing. I know what it is doing, evading the question and it will be give when I turn back around.

"There was no...." I started to say as I turned back around and was greeted by a finger only a little but away. "Oh, hey personal space," i said pulling my head back a little. Please don't let the finger start to glow, it was cute on the alien but I don't think it will be as cute with the nails or sharp pointy things that I think I am seeing. Suddenly the finger lunged forward, attacking me like fingers do and I opened my mouth to do something.

BOINK!

((What better place to end this section than a BOINK?))

[Catherine]

*Reverse all engines full. Repeat reverse all engines full. Evasive actions*

The imaginary warning came too late and my forehead was boinked and boinked hard and a little soft. It sort of squished, not my head but the thing that boinked me. So hoping it was a finger and not a tentacle or a proboscis. I got boinked with one of those once, snotty and my head got stuck and many tissues lost their lives that day. Not sure why no one didn't warn me about the proboscis, ok what they did was point for like a second and then run. I looked up to see what everyone was pointing at and boink. Monkey in the Valley of boogers. They came at me with spears. Screaming and yelling in boogernesse, their words falling on deaf years of one who uses tissues. Back to the current boink.

BOINK!

Suddenly the world got dark, like dark. There was no lights and I even looked around for the light switch. I thought I saw one but it was some type of crustacean sucking on to the wall and I wasn't about to touch that. Not even with a ten foot pole, because I would have felt bad for the pole. I pulled myself up onto the chair and did the twenty second three hundred and sixty degree tour of the place. The gloom and doom theme  was really apparent with all the smoke and destruction all over. Buildings burned down or in the process of burning, which is kind of interesting how they pulled that off with rocks. All type of sea and some other type of life strolling about like they owned the place or were in the middle of moving in.

Although I am not sure about the giant jellyfish floating in the sky. It reminds me of a song from a band, I think named after bugs or something. A little overboard on that part if you ask me, jellyfish in the sky phpt, it doesn't sell me on the whole idea. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches maybe, since they can get stuck on the roof of your mouth. Then you have to try and lick the peanut butter free with your tongue before you do anything else. People couldn't talk right and be denied eating because of the food getting stuck to the roof of their mouth. Ingenious!

It was amazing how much was put into this boinking the special effects were amazing and they spent more on the 3D that you didn't have to wear the glasses for too. Must have costed it a fortune. But again it is special effects and there has to be a...

All words stopped, so did thought, when my eyes fell on silhouette. One second I was in the chair and the other second I was on the other side of it. Peeking over at the not silhouette silhouette.  Okay now I knew where the whole bat wings and tentacle thing came from, right over there. On the other side of the table. Let me see if I can find the words to describe if, hmmm...... Ick with a side of ick that is supersized and has extra ick. Sitting across the table was a something that only  a mother could love, I think. Not really sure though, really not sure.

I would have taken photos and ask random mothers, but I thought it might be better not to do that.

"Hello Miss, it looks like you are pregnant. Would you mind looking at this photo and telling me if it is a face that only you would love?"

"Eeeeekkkkkkk!!!!!!!" and faint.

I kneeled there, looking over there *mental point* for a moment and quite a few moments. I know it is rude to stare but it isn't every day that well that is doing something across the table from you. I would say look at it but it is best to keep it off screen and save your sanity. *shiver*

"Okay, " I said with a laugh, not one that says I am going insane though. "This is all cool and everything, especially that thing over there," I pause for a moment to point at something, something over there. It looks sort of cool in a sea and some other life sort a way. "But... You forgot to read the sign on the door didn't you?"

The silhouette no silhouette sort of thing started to turn, "Wait I don't want you to get your tentacles in a bunch." I clear my throat, which made me cough in the boink acrid air. "No things associated with or including the apocalypse is allowed on the premises.  If it includes anything dealing with the end times, we ask you to keep it in your car or if you walked here, tied to a post on the far side of the parking lot. We have supplied ample shade and other items to keep your apocolaypse safe and entertained while you are enjoying our burgers. Oh yeah, no shirt no shoes no service."

"So......" I said looking back to the silhouette no silhouette giving it a kind smile, "if you want all of this." I pause to circle a finger, "We will have to go outside." For a moment, silhouette no silhouette just sat there, tentacles dong what tentacles do and bat wings with creepy little hands doing what they do best. Then....

DEBOINK!

We are back and silhouette is back to silhouette as he pushed away from the table and starts to head towards them door.

Oh Pooh... He called my bluff. 


*****


Heading out towards the door I tried to think of something. I mean an apocalypse isn't what I was looking forward to really. Knowing that a couple steps out the door and boom bang and WOOSH! There could be fire and brimstone all over and that kind of stuff is hard to get out of the hair and it stains the clothes.

The door dings and my brain kicks in to higher get, "hey you know the rule. No starting the apocalypse thirty minutes after eating. You will get cramps and you really don't want that do you. You would have to sit out while everything goes blah. Your eyes would get all teary since everything would be happening around you and all you can do is sit."

*mental fingers crossed*

Silhouette pauses for a moment considering what I just said, it is compelling in a believable sort of way.    They say it about swimming so hey why not the apocalypse, that would take more out of you. What with all of the screaming and everything. Then all of the complaint cards coming in because it is either too hot, too much fire and not enough brimstone, the weird creatures are freaking them out and any number of things, like that thing over there.

That and it isn't like going to an amusement park, except for that one in that one place. Why they built it no one knows but they did. Silhouette has to consider that No one is ever happy during the apocalypse  type events. Like I said they aren't amusement parks, no rides or overpriced food vendors. No you must be this tall to get chased and nomed by hell beasts or take a laser to the face signs. No dancing figures in costumes singing happy songs. Really it is just apocalyptic.  Dreary and blah in a flaming poof everything is screaming sort of way.

Silhouette just stood there actually considering my words. "It is life changing you know. Once you start apocalypsing you can't go back. People will look at you funny." I chime in, just to be friendly really. Silhouette turned its head I think and I think looked at me.

*imaginary yes fist pump.*

I have him/she/it thinking, time for the whammo! Clear throat and "That and the apocalypse doesn't have cookies. That is an important thing when you are knee deep in an acid pit, how good the chocolate chip cookies are."  I nod to help stress the importance of cookies once, twice and it would become unbelievable.

Silhouette turned then turned back and then turned and sort of turned back. It shrugged, pushed the door open and walked out. I thought I had it, where did I go wrong? Was it the number of chips in the chocolate chip cookies? That is important and everything.

"Fine...." I sighed, "Let's get this apocalypse thing done. It doesn't sound fun though."

((Well it has come to this... Well not this but what is to come so I guess it has come to that. You know this but future this.))

[Catherine]

DING!

"Yes I know," I say as I walk pass the door. The ding sounded like it was saying, "You know you are walking to an apocalypse right?"

DING!

I pause and shrug, "Not sure what I am going to do. Play it by ear I think."

DING!

"Yes, I think it is a good idea and my tail is watching out for me too." I answer pointing back to my tail.

DINiG!

"Thank you, I am attached to it. We have been through a lot, haven't we?" My tail swings in front of my and nods. With a little smile I reach up and gently pet it and if it was a cat, which it isn't, it would purr.

DING!

"Yeah I know, not everyday you see a girl with a monkey  tail. Especially for you. I would think more fish scales and gills."

DING!

"Yeah, I never thought about that. It would kind a smell in here, make everything smell fishy."

DING!

I laugh for a moment before I say anything, it is hard to laugh and talk at the same time. "Yeah, you would think they would figure that out. I have to ask, have you seen any mermaids?"

DING!

"Really? Huh, I would have imagined they are more vegetarians than anything. Never thought they would enjoy a burger. How do they get...."

DING!

"Ah, okay and that makes sense now. Quite ingenuous really."

DING!

"Yeah, it didn't look to good did it." I answer the ding, motioning towards silhouette with a gentle head move.

DING!

"Well I can't do that to it. It isn't a door so that is hard to do.

DING!

I laugh again, "Well I don't think it would let me do that to it. I can imagine it though, standing there as I try to install a pet door onto it. Then testing if with a foot since it would be kind of strange to try and crawl through it." I bring a hand up and imitate the flap swinging back and forth..

DING!

"No! I don't think it would let me put a doorbell on its forehead either."

DING!

"Yeah I know what apocalypse means but hey you know the old saying, when in doubt send in a monkey girl. I think that is how it goes," I look over to silhouette and see it doing the I am waiting thing, "got to go."

DING!

"Thank you, I will do my best. Oh and I am called Nichole Anne Marie Smith, my friends call me Monkey. You know for the tail."

DING!

Gently I shake the door like I am shaking someone's hand on the horizontal plane. "It is a pleasure to me you Paul. If I can I will swing by and say bye before I leave."

DING!

"I know, a little door humor. See you later Paul." I say as I step outside, the door slowly closing behind me.

DING!

There are no words I can say back to Paul. He wouldn't hear them anyways since he is closed, so I smile and give him the one handed thumbs up as I walk away.

"Let's do this...."

((Will leave it for the DINGs for now. I mean dings can be posted later but your daily need for dings have been fulfilled.))

[Catherine]

Silhouette walks to about half way into the parking lot and stops, looking at Rachel I can see her hands going to her head. Quickly I ru over to her, doing the one finger hold the apocalypse power hand sign to silhouette, to make sure that her head wasn't about to blow off. I don't think she would like it since it is pretty final and a little messy. It redefines the whole 'this headache is killing me' thing in a boom and splat sort of way.

"See I told you," I said slipping the glasses off of me and onto Rachel. She didn't need to have a headache of magnitude level twelve. Which by the pamphlets I have seen says it feels like something like a rhinoceros jumping up and down on your head while singing 'Mary had a little lamb' in French backwards and it does feel like that. I wouldn't want anyone else to experience it, take a migraine and multiply it times like a billion and you got it. It is an ow that it really big. No bigger than that, I mean like Saturn big. "This should help with the headache," 

I adjust it a little making sure the ear arms are firmly behind Rachel's ears and the nose piece is on her nose, to the best of my ability of course. If I had some duct tape it would help more, I could just wrap the whole roll around Rachel's head and the glasses would never slip off ever. Never ever again. She would ask at first and then start to struggle but the sound of the duct tape coming off the roll is calming. Think of the song of a siren, calling sailors to their doom. Duct take is like that but less rocks and no doom.

Of course once I pulled out the roll Rachel would ask me what it is for and I would tell her. Nothing to hide all I want to do is make sure the glasses don't slip off and her head to explode and duct tape would prevent both. There would be a lot of no and no and no, the no getting bigger and louder with each no. Probably a lot of threats too. "Fine.... But you can only blame yourself if your head blows up, " I would say as I dropped the duct tape and it quaked rolling away.

Not that I would do that, I know how much it would hurt when you remove duct tape from a person. Still have nightmares, you see it was a challenge and I didn't think it would hurt that much. I still have flashbacks and jump whenever someone sneaks up to me and makes the duct tape quack. So I know to use some type of cooking spray or oil to keep the tape from sticking. Liberally apply before wrapping with duct tape, a little messy but a lot less ow and I am sure that wouldn't be allowable.

"Listen, I can't duct tape the glasses to your head and don't say otherwise. I have ran the situation over and over in my head and hey all end up one way, me hurt! I don't want that, so take your pointer finger and apply the proper amount of pressure to the nose bridge and run."

"But..." Rachel said as she applied the proper amount of pressure to the glasses that slowly slide down her nose.

"No get out of here. The glasses might fall off in the middle of a hiyah and boom goes your head. I don't want that so run."

Again Rachel applied the proper amount of pressure, "but, I can help."

I nodded my head and my tail echoed the nod, "You can probably, but I dont want to risk the whole brain splat thing, it is a little messy. So take off, but leave the banana milkshake please." Before the but echo happened again, I turned Rachel around and carefully removed my shake from her hand. It still felt full, which was a good sign. "Go before a bat claw gives you a wedgie and you have to live with that memory the rest of your life. Now go, what is the worse that can happen." I could sense Rachel about to open her and give me a list of items that would take days to read off, before the list could start I shushed her. "Before you can list the list, I already know the mights and I am hoping to keep those in that column. Some of them sound well ick so take off and we will meet up later and you can't tell me that story that you haven't told me yet."

Rachel started to turn her head which looked funny with the big glasses, "which story?"


"That one, " I said with a smile.

Rachel's head started to shake, maybe the wind caught the glasses. "That doesn't make any sense."

"It will later. Now get going."

"Fine you little brat." Rachel said as she started to walk away.

"I am the same size as you ," I sing out as I gently place the banana milkshake down. "Time to face talon and tentacle," I whisper to myself, slowly I start to stand and....

SLURP!

Now I am ready.


******

I turn and look at silhouette expecting the headache to end all headaches. There is nothing though, which is good. It is kind of hard stopping the apocalypse if you are missing your head, it makes it hard to see where you are going for one thing. There are other things too, another is it is just plain messy and it isn't good to have a messy apocalypse. People talk afterwards. I test the waters, don't want to think one thing and find my thinking is wrong with a boom and splat, taking a couple steps closer towards silhouette. Eyes closed just a little bit, don't want to get brain bits in them. Nothing so far.

*mental forehead wipe and snap of hand to get the mental sweat off of it*

Maybe it is my determination keeping the whole head go boom thing from happening. I would prefer it not to happen and I am pretty sure if I asked some people they would agree.

"Hello, Would you mind answering a few questions? It will only take a minute of your time." Click pen and smile, need to smile  and look friendly. People don't answer when you look angry or growling at them. "Why thank you. First question and it is a yes or no question. Would you want the apocalypse to occur." Look up and smile, waiting for an answer. "Interesting, let me write that down. Of course your answer eliminates most of the other questions. If the apocalypse was inevitable would you prefer it coming in a big ball of cottonballs, which is called the 'The fluffing' or surrounded by puppies, which is called 'The piddling' or there is other." Smile snd click pen. "Oh wow, that is an interesting one. Never thought of that." Scribble notes and smile. "Thank you for taking a moment to answer my questions. If you would like to see how others answered you can visit the website on the card and it also is a coupon for a free sundae." Smile and hand over coupon card, pointing at the website address and flipping over the card to show the coupon.

"Listen, I think I have come up with an idea that will make everyone happy." I say reaching into my bag and pulling out a yelled crayon, the color of boundary and other things. It is bright and almost glowing, buzzing neon burn your eyes out yellow I think. I crouch down and start drawing on the ground as I slowly move around silhouette. Making sure my line is even and clearly visible. "I think this will be really good," I say cheerfully as I continue to draw, "and I am surprised I even came up with it."

I get fancy at the end when the line meets the other side of the line and add a small little drawing of a monkey waving. With a nod, I stand up and look at what I have created. A perfect circle which was tricky at some moments, but my tongue poked out just a little and my tail gave me some pointers so over all it turned out like a circle, for a moment or two I thought I would end up with a many sided thing and that would have defeated the whole purpose of drawing a circle.

"Okay this looks complicated but it really isn't. You can have your apocalypse inside the circle," I start to say pointing at the circle, "while the rest of us continue to enjoy the non apocalypse. So please keep all fire, brimstone and anything else apocalyptic inside the circle and we should be good."

The crayon spins around my finger before I slip it back into my bag, "You see, you get what you want and we can stay on our apocalypse free diet. So winners all around." I say as I shoot silhouette the thumbs up.

For minutes we stand there, a pigeon slowly flying above us looking at was going on below, staring at each other and nothing else.

It is possible to avert the apocalypse if you put your mind and a yellow crayon to it, thank monkey I didn't try the purple one.

Apocalypse averted. Yay!!!

((WOW easier than I thought....))

[Catherine]

Something flopped to the ground. Not sure what it was though; a foot, a tentacle or something that I really didn't want to know what it was. With a SMACK the apocolypse was started over again.

"Stop that," I said, turning around to see silhouette rubbing away the yellow line with something.  I pointed to make sure that silhouette understood what I was meaning by 'that.' But it continued rubbing with whatever it was rubbing with, if it was a foot silhouette really had big feet or one really big one.

"Listen that yellow mark is for the benefit of both of us," I tried to explain, "everyone gets what they want, you and the apocalypse and everyone else is peace and we can live together. Not singing in harmony though, that would be weird." But silhouette continued, "Oh come on..."

Quickly I pulled out the yellow crayon, checking that it was the right color before trying to fix the circle. Some people just don't appreciate a perfectly, well almost perfectly drawn circle. They are hard to draw, sometimes they are a little squished or angular and this one had a little monkey too.  I should have taken a photo when I got done drawing it and sent it to people.

'Look at this! An almost perfect circle.'

'Ow wow.....'

'Look a little monkey waving too!'

'It doesn't look like a monkey. Looks like an [insert random animal or thing that isn't a monkey here] instead.'

'It looks like a monkey! Big ears, tail and cute. See...'

'You need to practice.'

'

'

"Will you please stop?" I asked as I corrected the circle again.'I am running out of yellow and you really don't want me to go fluorescent. That says a lot of things while glowing and I really don't want to say the wrong thing."  Silhouette answered me with a wet smack of whatever it was using and a slow draw back, rubbing the line away again.

With a stamp of a foot, I stand "You have no appreciation for circles do you?" I got the urge to throw what was left of the yellow crayon at silhouette's chest just to show it that it should appreciate a circle, but I let it spin around my finger before slipping it back into my bag. I am not a crayon tosser.

I got no answer from silhouette, well no worded one at least, just another wet smack and slow wipe away. Whatever it was using was getting to be really dirty and covered in yellow crayon especially if silhouette wiped away the entire circle.

SMACK and draw back. Continued over and over and as the last of the circle disappeared I felt a tear forming and then run down my cheek, "Bye bye little yellow circle."

A growl slowly formed like growls do, right in my chest. "That was uncalled for. The circle didn't do anything to you and look what you did. You could have easily just stepped over it and let it live in yellow circle peace." I would say, I was hissing and spitting but that isn't cute and is against rule number seventy two of being cute.

'The cute do not hiss and spit as simple as that. Neither action falls into the cute definition. One is made by snakes, which aren't  cute and the other is done by those one dinosaurs that spit in the face and that isn't cute. "Hey there." Sound of spit and wet splat. "What was that for?!?!" You see not cute.'

So I sat there fuming adorably, trying to think of something. I could lay a hula hoop down, no way that can be rubbed out but it could be lifted. Could engrave a circle into the ground, not sure if I could handle the jack hammer though and I wouldn't be happy if the circle didn't come out just right. That and who knows if I could handle the jack hammer, It could end up like It did the last time. I admit it got out of control and well things happened but the statue looked better without the arms to be honest. They were really out of proportion and everything. Not my fault. *dismissive wave* Someone just sat it there and well.... Not my fault. How would I have known it was going to be like riding a bull?

Birds cautiously flew overhead, not making a tweet. They could sense what was coming and wanted to see what everything looked like before. At the moment though, all they got was humphs and stares.

Maybe if I Humphed enough, silhouette would just get bored and just forget about ending everything..

HUMPH!

*****

Maybe..,. Just maybe humphing worked.

HUMPH!

Silhouette is crumbling under the power of the humph, I think. I haven't been gift wrapped in tentacles yet and there is no little bat hands in my hair yet either. I will do the imaginary swipe of the finger down in the manner of point for me on both of those.

HUMPH!

Who would of thought that a humph was a the source of evil greatest weakness. Usually it is a sword that you have to poke in it over and over, a book with strange 'writing' in it that somehow you can read or some glowing necklace charm which if it runs out of power, all you are waving around is some little piece of metal which the creature might put it somewhere of ow on you.

Oh and I forgot, there is the whole sacrificing of a small animal or virginia ham thing too. Not sure why you would sacrifice a small animal if you can just go to the store and get a piece of Virginia ham.

"Back great beast of evil with flames and stuff. I sacrifice this sandwich made of Virginia ham with a piece of lettuce and a squirt  of yellow mustard to my tummy! Back to where you came from and don't leave a forwarding address. Nom nom nom. Hey this is pretty good, back with you!"

Wait, what? What did you say tail? It isn't a Virginia ham it is a what? Oh my monkey, why would someone even do that? Who even thought of that?

"Hey we see that evil is pushed back with the blood of this...what is it again? South Norwegian partially bald albino gerbil, but let's try a pure innocent woman too. She will only scream and shout. She will understand."

HUMPH!

It is working, silhouette is questioning the whole apocolypse thing I just know it. No blood of small animals or virgins will need to be spilled. Which is good since blood stains everything and is really hard to clean up. That and it would be hard to explain, the whole 'this is just ketchup' excuse doesn't work.

HUMPH!

Another few a the apocalypse will be averted with a humph!

HUMPH!

Silhouette is weakening, I can feel it.

HUMPH!

He is hiding it pretty good but I can tell. Time to finish off the apocalypse.

HUM.... ERGH! That didn't sound right. Let me try it again.

HU..ERGH! One more time.

ERGH!

((Ending with a sound effect, nail bitting))

[Catherine]

What the?!? How the?!?! I look down and find myself wrapped in something. That is the only way I can describe it. Not really a tentacle, I think and it definitely isn't a foot i hope. Both would be ick and being grabbed by a foot is double ick.

If it is a foot, where has it been? Think about it. It is just gross because there was no way silhouette had shoes on and took them off that fast. Then the toe lint, which would make me sneeze when it tickled my nose. What is toe lint even? Where does it come from? Why does it only live between toes, that is a strange habitat to live in and is it related to belly button lint? I don't want to even think about hang nails.

I struggle and struggle, in the back of my head secretly wishing if this a foot that silhouette trimmed its nails and if it is a tentacle, where were the little suckers. I haven't heard any popping sounds yet of any and all tentacles have them. Well the ones with suckers do at least.

Slowly I am lifted off the ground and if this is a foot, I will hand it to silhouette for having a really good balance. Maybe it should consider going into gymnastics or something similar. I think it would do pretty good, the only thing is if it is pressured into taking part in the olympics. Everyone there or watching would be having splitting headaches and holding their heads trying to keep them from exploding. Not even sure how the judges would judge.

'And next we have Silhouette from a little place of fire, brimstone and people screaming. It does the hand thing we think, telling us it is ready and argh...' BOOM and SPLAT!

"I didn't say go." I grunt as I try to work myself free. One hand followed by arm popping free, I am hopping the popping was caused by popping free and not just popping free of my shoulder. My hand waves at me and that is a good sign, if it was flipping about then I would be worried. I wrap my hand Arians whatever and start to push, kicking with my feet as much as possible.

For whatever it is, it definitely had a grip and a half. "Come on...." I grunted, "Come on..." I switch my kicking from just a leisurely kick trying to get away from the shark to a frantic get me out this whatever it is, I don't want to whatever hugged this much! Ergh!

If I kick hard enough maybe I will take off like a rocket, I tell myself as I kick so hard, my legs begin to blur and I can feel silhouette's whatever start to rock. That would be so odd if I kicked hard enough that we both start hovering off the ground, like a monkeycopter. That would surprise silhouette and it wouldn't respond like it has already with, 'Don't let go of me! I don't want to fall!' I would be like 'Stop hugging me with your whatever, we are only a couple inches off the ground!' What does silhouette expect? Little me to kick so hard to lift us both hundreds of feet off the ground? *dismissive wave*

Still no additional popping occurs just me slowly dragging silhouette a couple inches and that is about it. I could try reversing my kick and maybe dig into the ground but that would hurt I think and I am not a stake and I am not built to live underground. You see my skin likes the sun. It makes me feel good, just sitting there enjoying the warmth, I just want to curl up and take a napzzzzzz. Huh...What? What am I doing? His isn't a warm summer day!

I shake my head and do something I will regret later when I am cleaning my mouth out. I bite the whatever like a monkey on a banana, just this banana didn't taste that good at all, ick. Just too stress the seriousness of the bite I let out a growl, a cute one this time.

Growl..... *something that doesn't taste like a banana teeth massage*

*****

You have a cute and adorable monkey girl teeth massaging your [insert name of whatever it is here. Possible choices are; hand, finger, tentacle and ew foot] at the moment what do you do? Quick you have five seconds to answer. Tick tick tick, let me help with a cute growl that happens during the teeth massaging of whatever. Tick and tick. Ring!!!! Time is up and what is your answer?

Did you answer, You will shake your whatever and try to get the cute and adorable monkey girl off while she is adorably growling? If you did, here is a banana milkshake. Wait a second that is mine. So um..... I will give you a.... The sound of rooting through pockets fills the air as I look for a super awesome award. Ah here you go, let me just and just and just. You get this *place something in your hand* for answering correctly. It is one of a kind, personalized for you. So you will never see that anywhere else but on your mantel, which you can place it on if you like.

Also if you answered that you guessed that is what silhouette would do too!

I hang on with my teeth, letting silhouette feel the full power of a tooth massage. He needs to learn what it did was wrong and that it should have tapped me on the shoulder or something to let me know our little thing was starting. Some evil things just need to learn that they can't just do as they want, especially if that thing is whatever hugging the cute and adorable. We have to be handled a certain way and there are instructions too, I have the pamphlet right here and please look at number eight. *mentally pointing at number eight*

8. You must give the cute and adorable an allotted amount of time, which you must ask the cute and adorable, before picking/lifting/wrapping them with anything/something. If the allotted amount of time isn't followed they are allowed to teeth massage you, as long as they growl adorably. 

So silhouette shook it's whatever and I could feel its grip starting to loosen. It didn't like the tooth massage at all. GROWL. Other arm free. CONTINUED GROW.  Chest and tummy. MORE CONTINUED GROWL. Legs and freedom!

In less than a blink I spring  free and do like a flip and a twist before three point landing. TAHDAH! Hands go up and out for the judges and shoot they are asleep, except for the one judge who again judges me low. Boooooo.......

I could reach into by bag and bring out the staff of whapping but I wan restored one more thing before that. It is best to use words and be diplomatic first before reaching for  something to beat the other about the head with as you say 'no' over and over.

"I know you got all excited with thoughts of ending the world and everything, See where that got you. Taking up whatevers isn't always the best thing to do. So I got something better, I hear it has been done countless times in the past to settle things."

I swing one hand up, Palm side up as I ball the other into a first. "It is an ancient way of diplomacy, long forgotten I think but still practiced. In short, it is called RPS and I. The long, it is a called Rock Paper Scissors. I think it should help settle things at the moment and additional rules will be broken, also no monkey girls."

Again everything goes quiet and then slowly silhouette swings up one something and then the other something.

"On one, " I said as I swung my balled fist up and silhouette did the same.

"Three!" Fists go down and back up.

"Two!" Fists down and then return to their upright position.

"And one!"

((It is the final countdown, sung in tune of course because auto-tuning is blah and I have a lovely voice la la la. Until next time.))

[Catherine]

"Paper beats..." I start to say and stop, trying to figure out what silhouette threw out. It looks like paper, but it could be rock and even scissors. "Um...." I look back up to silhouette's face I think and back down its whatever. Need to make a call on this or the apocalypse will be constantly hovering over everyone's shoulders and that is sort of a downer.

'Hey friend it looks like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. Care to talk?'

'Actually it is the apocalypse on my shoulders and it refuses to sit just right. '

'Well if it is the apocalypse and now that I look at it I can tell it is, you can just keep walking, we don't need that stuff around here.  Still recovering from the one what came through a while back. That was a nasty one, blew up out of no where and took out the McGilley's outhouse. Took us a week to clean that up and everything that blew in with that apocalypse.'

So a call needs to be made. With my other hand I pull out the boyscout manual and place it on the ground, maybe it will help like it has every other time. With the sign of the paper still being held by one hand, I start to flip through the book. "Give me a moment," I tell silhouette as pages do the pages flipping thing.

FLIP. FLIP. FLIP. FLIP. FLIP. How to identify the color blue. It is right over there and there and there, so that is useless. FLIP. FLIP. FLIP. Does the lights stay on in the fridge when the door is closed. We have the answer. Quickly I scan the page. All of their data verifies their findings, so it must be true. FLIP. FLIP. FLIP. FLIP. FLIP. How to identify RPS on somethings. It isn't as hard as you thought. Got it! Hmm okay this is interesting.

I look up at silhouette's something and the hand sign it threw and back down at the charts and instructions. There are some measurements that can be taken to identify the hand sign faster but.... I am not sure where the something has been or is so no measurements. It sort of looks like... Book goes to a position where the photos can be compared. Hmm.... It would be so much easier if silhouette had fingers, a palm even. Let's see.. Hmm..... If it's sucker was positioned here, wait a moment there isn't any suckers that I can see. Okay now if the something is sort of shaped like a flattened slug and it is sort of shaped like well that, then it means that it is a....

I compare the photo that I think is close, taking out an imaginary magnify glass and an electron microscope to double make sure. I think I got it, there is an electron out of place but sometimes they just let their bonds go and stuff. So it is a, well poo.

Slowly I close the book and slip it back into my bag. "Okay, well it looks like we both threw paper. I should have told you what I was going to throw so you wouldn't throw the same thing. You see it would have been nice if you threw a rock, if you did, all of this would have been taken care of now and we could have sat down enjoyed the weather but nope. Two papers don't make for a peaceful afternoon." I say nodding my head, "They do make for a cool paper airplane though."

Without taking my eyes off of silhouette I take a step back, the only other thing I can think of is to play an extreme round of tiddly winks. Those do get pretty extreme and what I have seen of the village it would be interesting. It's worth a try.

"Care for a round of extreme tiddly winks?"

((Extreme tiddly winks? Find out next time...))

[Catherine]

I flip backwards when Silhouette answers me with a sewer lid. Which isn't the way you  play tiddly winks. Not at all. It is usually played with little plastic things not huge metal discs that would cause big OW! Yes the plastic thing would hurt but not on the same level, not even close. One is 'Hey, that hurt stop it' while the other is 'OW! OW! OW!' It simply wouldn't be permitted in competitive tiddly wink play, not even of the extreme type.

It all happened In a blink of an eye, Silhouette reaching for a sewer lid with one of its somethings and WHOOSH! Sent it flying, no hurdling right towards me. EEP! Think little monkey girl, think!

'You don't want to taste metal which is coming at you at extreme speed do you?'

'No I don't,' I answer back in my head. Not sure who asked me if I wanted to taste metal though. I run through the things I could do in my head. I could drop and do the splits, but I might take the sewer lid to the face if I don't get down far enough. Yes it looks like a lollipop but that doesn't mean I want to suck on it. Move to either side, but it it has a nasty curve to it so I could possibly still taste the metal either from the front or the the indirect approach of from the back of the head. So a big no on those too. So...

Time slows down as the disc slices through the air towards me. Silently I hope that gravity will be my friend for the next few moments as I spring up and back. I get the feeling of a thumbs up as I reach the top of the arc and I look down to see my tail swinging up and out of the way of the disc currently in the 'I was so close in hitting you, can't you like come down just a little?' position.

*slow motion wow*

For a moment time freezes and I get the urge to flip around and stand on the sewer lid as it just floats there in the air. In the back of my head I know better though. Once I flip around and try to stand on the disc, it won't be there and I will look like an idiot as I wave my arms in the air trying to keep myself from falling to the ground. It would be fun to see the look on silhouette's um face when I did it. Maybe I should.... No no, rule number fifty three of the cute and adorable says I shouldn't.

*clear throat* Rule fifty three goes, the cute and adorable shall not try to stand on metal discs that are hovering in mid air due to a temporary freeze in time. It might be tempting but the disc is just teasing you, once you try to stand on it, it will disappear. Then you will fall and your face will turn red as you go Umph!

See its a rule and I have had my daily requirement of umphs today. Need to watch my Umph intake I think, before I have that one bad Umph that turns me off of umphs. I do well.. I do so in around and pull out a crayon, a purple. The color of grapes and draw a little monkey waving on the sewer lid. It is a small one and not too fancy so it only takes a moment and hey it looks cute. As I finish, the sewer lid takes off like a sewer lid thrown with a something. CRACKABOOM!

The air is rattled when the lid hits a building, knocking me from my arc. I don't even bother checking what the judges will score me this time, since well no three point landing and I think that one judge is out to get me. Don't look surprised, you have been scoring me low every time.

*imaginary two fingers to eyes and then at nonexistent judge so he knows I know I am watching him*

Quickly I push myself up and stand, wiping the dust off myself as I do. "I said extreme  tiddly winks not sewer lids. I think there is a difference. Extreme tiddly  winks we would have shot them from there to there, " I say pointing from one random location to another, "not at me! That is like.... Death match tiddly winks, which I am pretty sure the tiddly wink people wouldn't appreciate. Bad publicity and just think of the warning label on them. This item contains small parts that might hit you at extreme speeds and make you hurt really bad. Please wear protective gear which can be found on our website www.tiddlywinksthathurtalot.com."

I take a step a step back as I reach into my bag for the staff of whapping, "I was hoping we could talk this through but it looks like all you want to do is run me through and rain fire and brimstone or whatever your apocalypse contains. Cotton balls would be nice, there is a lack of apocalyptic cotton balls now a days. So if cotton balls you get a thumb up from me." With a little jerk the staff of whapping extends, revealing the signature running down its side.

"Are you sure...." I start to say as one of silhouette's somethings comes shooting towards me. "I guess i got my answer before the question."


****

Silhouette's something came swinging towards me, still can't identify what the something is yet. Tentacle or something else? The way it is moving and everything, it definitely seems like a tentacle to me.

*throw up the sign of power of timeout*

"Hmm..... " I say as I walk around the something. Poking it here and there. It is squishy and with the way it is moving it has to be a tentacle or something without bones. Well unless the bones are really really small. I didn't bring a x-Ray machine and there isn't an airport nearby as far as I know to run the something through theirs either. Wait let me check to make sure I didn't accidentally pack one. Nope I don't see one in my bag.  I move around to the other side and poke it a couple more times. No sucker action on my finger and thankfully no little fingers or those one things that look like fingers but aren't. *shiver* Tentacles make me shiver but those little sort of finger things are just ick. The thought of getting a massage from those, even just a finger massage is well shiver.

I could lick it and maybe identify what it is. They sort of have different tastes. Feet taste like socks. Hands usually taste like antibacterial soap for some reason. Tentacles well taste tentacly. How can I explain it? I ponder the how for a moment, finger tapping against my lips. Which is a sure sign of deep pondering. Okay.... Take a big piece of rubber and dip it into salt water then some of that stuff over there then rub it on a hairless kitten then just dab it in the gutter and finally add a dash of paprika. If you want you can suck on it but really you just need to lick it to get the tentacle experience.

Go ahead the sign of the time out is still in effect. Blargh right? Yeah how would you describe it? Tentacly right? Yeah that is the best description. Wait what you like the taste of it? Ewww......

I continue my stroll around the something and poke the tip of it. Squishy, definitely squishy. Wet towel wound up and snap on the bare skin squishy. SNAP! For a moment I flash black to that one time when my brother snapped me with a towel at the pool. I jumped & eeped so loud and I had a red welt that was embarrassing. That was years ago and that spot still hurts. SNAP!

What was that? It sounded like a towel! Quickly I flip around trying to find the sound of the snapping that sounded like a wet towel, hands going to where my brother snapped me. Frantically I look around, I am going to have my hands full with silhouette and really don't need to worry about snappage at the same time. SNAP! There it is again! Quickly I zero on the source of the sound, a small crab, I think, trying get to open a small package of butter. I guess it would be hard to open it with pincers cone to think about it. No leverage to get that little flap or anything. Then if it squeezed, the butter would go all over and blind the little crab and it would stumble and fall into boiling pot of water. Yum.... I mean no..... "You are playing with fate there," I yell out to the little crab, "Just letting you know, unless you are trying to get it to put it on bread. It will make you taste yummy."

The little crab stops and gives me a look that only crabs can give, one eye stalk up and the other slightly down with its mandibles open in the 'What the?' position. It clicks a pincer at me before scurrying off with the butter packet in han...pincer. Clicking at me as it does.  I guess it wanted some privacy or something. Well I warned it so if it gets butter all over itself, it is its fault.

I walk back to where I was standing, so it doesn't freak out silhouette and reverse the power sign of time out. In a blink of an eye silhouette's...... I am going to say tentacle comes streaking towards me. Sort of prepared and sort of knowing well naming well guessing what was coming towards me

Staff spins up into a half quarter pipe lock and PCHOW silhouette's tentacle goes grinding up in and into the air above me. Quickly I spin the staff around to the other side so silhouette's tentacle doesn't have to worry about landing. For a moment I swear I hear the sound of cameras going off as the tentacle arcs over me. Did it just do a flying half sugar squirrel? Then it hits my staff and sparks shower down onto me as it grinds all the way down and at the end hops off.

Oof! A little heavier than it look, my arms scream for just a minute. With a WHOOSH, silhouette pulls its tentacle back and just stands there. Was it testing me?

"Again, not telling me when we are starting." I say as I swing the staff behind me, "Didn't your...." I pause and think, did silhouette have parents? I should maybe just skip over that I think. I don't want to open up any old wounds. "Cat...." Yeah that is It. A good catch. "teach you anything?"

I didn't expect an answer to a question with no answer. I didn't know if silhouette had a cat or was even raised by cats. It hasn't coughed up any hair balls at me yet so I am guessing a big no on being raised by cats.

"I guess if you want to make it official. Ding!"

((Now that you sort of know the rules of extreme tiddly winks I would say don’t go outside and play it. People don’t like falling into open sewers. *whisper* There is poo swimming about down there. Ewwwww *stop whisper*. Until next time p. Ding!))

[Catherine]

I sit back in the classical 'I don't want hit' defense position. Arms up like this, one leg like this, the other like this and staff held with both hands in this position. My Hou Quan master showed me various techniques, some using coconuts which I currently don't have at the moment. I should really start packing one or two of those, after a long fight it would be refreshing to drink some coconut water. Phpt..... Okay coconuts don't actually do that but I thought it sounded refreshing so... Phpt.... Glug glug ahhhhh that hits the spot. After a long time if whapping something I like to sit down and have a cold, well luke warm, coconut full of water.

In a blur of motion, tentacles come shooting at me from everywhere. I parry and dodge them. SCHWING! BACHING! SCHWING! One tries to sneak up on me from behind, wearing a set of glasses thinking I wouldn't recognize it but HIYAH! Just in case you wanted to know, I did remove the glasses before hitting the tentacle. I am nit mean.

Suddenly the tentacles erupted upwards and like a tidal started to crash down upon me. I could feel the air pressure building up in front of as it closed in. The best place to be when a wave is crashing down on you I found out was not there, it is better to be way over there. I followed the arch of the wave back and back and continued that back motion with a flip followed by more flips taking me out of the crash zone. I could see the tentacles hitting the ground as I spun in the air with the last flip.

Unlike waves of water, waves of tentacles hit the ground and run. Run after whatever it was going after! As one foot touched the ground I could feel the tips of tentacles lapping at my feet and sprung off to the side and with a fluid motion, swiped at the tentacles with my staff of whapping.

Whoosh went the staff and I was bracing myself, well bracing myself as best as I could in mid air, expecting an impact of some sort. Tentacles have mass and well stuffing. But my staff went through them like butter without out of the squishy stuff of course. What the?

Hanging in mid air, I know defying the laws of gravity but hey rule number thirty two of the cute and adorable.

*clear throat* Rule number thirty two states that the cute and adorable can defy the law of gravity one time per day if the occasion calls for it. Especially if something unexpected just happened and they need a moment.

So I can't hit silhouette? Well that is sort of unfair! I could see movement in the tentacles other than the undulating and from where I was I couldn't tell what... Check that! Tentacle eruption! Quickly I swung my staff in front of me and started to spin it so fast that if I spoke into it, my voice would sound funny, but I didn't have the time for that since I had tentacles shooting in my direction. Eep!

CHING! CHING! CHING and more CHINGS could be heard as one after another tentacle bounced off my spinning staff. "Hey no...." I growled when I spotted a tentacle trying to reach over. BACHOW followed by CHING! CHING! CHING!

Okay now I can touch them?

With a flick of a wrist, I swung the staff out and poked the ground and used the moment of my fall to propel me a little further away. Flip spin and a HIYAH later, I landed pointing towards silhouette. I could see the tentacles writhing like fat snakes as they started to pull back into silhouette. I am not sure where it is hiding them but it is doing a pretty good job. *nod* Can't see a tentacle in sight, impressive. *mental clapping*

"Hey that was fun!" I shouted out, breathing a little hard just a little though. Hey you try chinging non corporeal corporeal tentacles and see if you aren't a little winded. I guess..... I guess..... It showed me it's well tentacles. I should show it mine. Not tentacles ! Not tentacles, thought I should clear that up. I don't have any tentacles, oh my monkey what is that? Oh it is just my tail. Like I said no tentacles!



******


Dramatic WOOSH of the tip of my staff down before running towards silhouette. It responds with tentacles, one after another flying towards me. Tips pointed down in the proper position of ow and more ow.  I wasn't trying to show it how I looked impaled and didn't really the want to see how I looked if I was a marshmallow being roasted over an open fire either. Although that does sound good, yum s'mores. Crunchy and squishy both at the same time. Taunting you with the crunch and teasing you with the squish. I hear some in the world can't build the proper s'more, I think the governments of the world need to really sit down and talk about that. It is a visible problem  and one that could lead to world peace. Think about it, have you ever seen an angry face when a s'more being shoved into the mouth. Nope! *shake head* okay maybe if the marshmallow just came off the fire and it is still on fire, its innards a cauldron of burning marshmallow lava and my theory is....

*clear throat*

The marshmallow lava if dropped on the ground will burn its way through the earth and anything between her and the other here, Abe it mole people or whatever, and surprise the others at the other here. The only thing that will prevent that is the marshmallow lava must touch a tongue. It hasn't been tested and it shouldn't, the earth doesn't need holes in it.

ZIP! Dodge to the right. ZIP! Jump over a tentacle that was going a little low. Really silhouette should see someone about that. There are things they can be fine to help with low tentacles. ZIP! Flip to the left. ZIP! Up and over again followed by a cool slide under a late arriving tentacle. ZIP!

Ah you thought you would trick me by shooting tentacles from the side. You forget I am a three dimensional type of girl. I see there, there, there and even sort of back there but I would have to turn my head more to see that. I jump and start flipping around the tentacle coming from the side. One...two....three and up in the air I go. WHACHAA!

Up I fly, tentacles chasing after me as I go higher and higher. Passing flocks of geese, who by the looks of them are in the middle of migrating. Up I fly into the clouds, less and less tentacles chasing after me. Okay, wow I am going pretty far up! POOSH! I break through the top of the clouds, upsetting a little angel with a silver halo trying to take care of baby clouds. "Ssssssoooooooorrrrrrryyyyyy........." I say as I keep shooting upwards, "that one I think has a leak."

For a moment,  I start to get scared, did I put too much into the spin and dismount. I won't be any good if I reach space. Didn't really pack for that and I heard monkeys and space don't mix.  Closer and closer the inky darkness of space is getting. Where am I going to put my nightlight? I could try to reverse speed, flip around and try to swim the other way, it works in cartoons. That is just silly though, this is real not a cartoon, so it by.... I would say suddenly but it wasn't, I was just lost in the thought of holding my breath, my ascent stopped and I hovered there for a moment. No gravity?

My thought question was answered when gravity tapped me on the shoulder and told me to come back to earth. Of course i couldn't say no and I started falling. WHOOSH! Down I went, away from the darkness and the worry of where I was going to put my night light.

Pass the little angel who was having trouble with an unruly baby cloud. "Ggggggoooooooooooodddddddddd Lllllllllluuuuuuuuuuucccccccckkkkkkkk....." I said as I streaked by. I still don't know why she chose a silver halo and not a gold one. Some Angels. *mentally shaking head since if I actually shook my head, I would steer myself who knows where.*

I could feel the wind pulling at me as continued by rapid descent. Pass the ducks, quack quack. Pretty sure they were different ones, that would odd if they were the same ones. Only doves can dramatically fly slow, not ducks since that would be silly. Doves you can dodge, ducks you can't. Hard to dodge too!  I could see silhouette standing there not even bothering looking up and seeing what was coming towards him at..... I lick a finger and stick it out to judge my speed and through rough calculations come up with really fast. Through half open eyes, should have thought about goggles, I swing the staff back with both hands. Silhouette's tentacles already streaking towards me.

This is going to hurt, I tell myself as the tentacles come up to meet me and I go down to meet them at a very fast pace. A monkey meteor in a way, a cute and adorable one. Fire wiping at me and everything but since I am cute and adorable, rule number six applies.

Rule six of the cute and adorable, if re-entering the atmosphere the cute and adorable will burst in to flames. Since this is dramatic and looks pretty cool, it won't effect them.

I tuck and stretch and swerve and dodge one tentacle after another. At the last second I bring my staff down.

*All new because monkey girls don't fall out of the sky you know, monkey meteor of coolness special attack! *

MEGA KRAKABOOM!

((KRAKABOOM, I mean come on... why shouldn’t I stop with that? Until next time....))

[Catherine]

Dust clouds and small animals wiped all around me due to the force of my hit, I could see the look of awe in their eyes. KRAKABOOM!!!! Lightning crackled, thunder roared and the ground shook. That would have been so cool if those things happened. That would have been so cool... Oh, oh one of those light beams from the skies too! You know the one, the clouds part and whoosh the light beam comes down, lighting up the area like some giant flashlight in the sky. Wait.... Maybe that is how...... I didn't see one up there when I was close to holding my breath though and the batteries would be massive. Like this big but only a lot bigger and I would think someone would know if people were shooting giant batteries into space, what size would they be even? Where would you even get one?

"Hi and welcome to M-mart, how may I help you? Oh you are looking for a mega z battery, those we keep way in the back. Away from the other batteries due to an incident. Someone plugged one into a little flashlight and when they turned it on well, it burned a hole into everything in front of it for and if I remember correctly fifty miles."

But none of that stuff happen other than the dust cloud, which was sort of obscuring and I think I saw a small animal but it was jumping into the air at the moment too. I did hang in the air for a moment, which surprised me. I expected silhouette crumpling to the ground in an instant and my feet touching the ground because of the all new because monkey girls don't fall out of the sky you know, monkey meteor of coolness special attack. If I had to sit down and do some physics,  I would come up with some massive number for how big the hit was, there would have been a lot of decimal points and I would have to redo the calculation thinking it was wrong. Let's see, carry the one add the six multiply by this other number and don't forget this one over here since it looks lonely and take my shoes off to use my toes and move this over there and that up there and add three. Wow! Miss Gagley, my old math teacher, always told me that I wasn't good with math. Hah! Look at this *mental point*, maybe your simple multiplication wasn't challenging enough. *proud pose* I just needed an equation that I could make something up to solve it.

Again nothing mega boom worthy happened, I hung there in the air. *cough* Really good balance *cough* as the dust cleared and saw a what the? That is all I could think when I saw what I saw. I expected impact with silhouette's head, maybe even a tentacle but not what I saw and thanks to the little claw was creeping me out. Ick sense was tingling in a way.

I heard the stories, well story of tentacles and have gotten up close and personal with some of them while keeping my personal zone safe. That one over there is named 'Larry' and him & wife is expecting a baby soon. The one behind it is Kelsey and she likes to listen to heavy metal and read romantic poetry. But now I knew the ick truth, that took it to the next level, there was bat wings!

Not even sure where the one blocking my hit came from, well from right there as far as I can tell but still. It was small though with a tiny little claw, so ick cute. Hanging there I could imagine that claw going through my hair and a shiver shot down my spine then right to the tip of my tail. I didn't think I just reacted and sprung away, flip and perfect landing, my eyes on the claw the whole time just in case it decided to mess up my hair.

Whipping the staff of whapping behind me, I laughed for a moment "I think they should rewrite the stories. They said wings and I only see one and tiny one, a winglet maybe." You know I should really learn not to poke the evil monsters, they always have a bag of unexpected somewhere on their body and silhouette had a bag and then done.

There was a sound, but I well hmm..... You know the screaming of people who can't get those child proof containers open? It sounded sort of like that a billion fold as Silhouette in an explosion of action revealed the wings part of the stories. WHOOSH!

I nearly choked on the mint that I wasn't sucking on at the moment, a future mint. Which is hard to do since I haven't met the mint yet but I nearly choked on it, which kind of hurt. *future cough gag cough*

Standing there in all its 'apocalyptic glory' was silhouette with a giant set of wings. Where he was keeping them at I don't know, maybe in his pocket. Maybe they are like a Swiss Army knife and just swish out or something.

There was the dramatic back light and slow moving sea going bats too; they have snorkels, air tanks and goggles just in case you wanted to know. I didn't know they had those either, maybe during Halloween I will get a couple of those and have some fun.

"Hey cool fake bats, I don't see the strings or anything."

"Why thank you. You won't find any strings, they are just slow flying."

"Okay...." Slowly back away with a strange look on their face and laugh, "Oh the candy is over there."

"Thank you."

Time stood still for a moment, maybe it was caught off guard by the big wing reveal too.

So tentacles, wings and void versus a tail and cuteness. It sounds even, I told myself as I stood there. Waiting for next moment because the current moment was getting old.

*****

Tick! Tick! Tick! Tick! Tick! Goes the clock as we both stand there waiting for the other to move. I watched as the wings shifted back and forth as tentacles did what tentacles do, sort of similar what snakes do but without the forked tongue thank monkey. I could feel Silhouette's eyes I think looking at me, watching my tail slowly swinging back and forth ready to HIYAH and my cuteness rearing back like a great cat ready to pounce. Cuteness does that, it is a little known secret.

Oh and while I am standing here I should bring something up. Clocks go tick not tisp. Just saying that clocks on the walls go tick, tick and tick. The really big ones go TICK, TICK and TICK! Now the wrist watches, those might go tisp, but they whisper and it is kind of hard to say. Clocks also go ding and dong, bong and cuckoo. The last one caught me off guard once while out at Grammy's and Pappy's house when I was young. I was trying to read the time, big hand pointing at one thing and the little hand pointing at something else. I yelled out the time I thought it was and a little door swung open. I thought I was getting a treat but a little bird erupted out if it and nearly took my head off. All the while it flapped its wings and cuckooed at me. Let's just say I had well.... Let's just say that..... Let's just say that the bird made an enemy that day. Grammy and Pappy laughed whenever I sat there leering at the the clock, arms folded across my chest and everything waiting for the bird to come out. When it did I would point to my eyes and then at the bird, telling it I was watching its every move.

Slowly a tumbleweed rolled in between us and continued on its merry way. Disappearing like tumbleweeds do, once out of sight it just is gone. It looks like we have an audience. I wonder where she is at now and if she still has a tail. 

I catch a glimpse of a figure standing at the edge of a building a safe distance away. Robes blowing in the wind and the sun glinting off a bald head. Wise words and the threat of tailing pulling making me smile. I chuckle to myself, when I see the gentlemanly shape standing behind him with something constantly moving on its shoulder it only confirms it, they are all showing...

Who is left, I ask myself and then I hear it, a bass riff singing out. Shattering the stillness of the air like only left handed bases can do. I can imagine the Stephen leaning there against the speaker sitting at demon's feet.

Only one person left really and I just saw her, at that moment a piece of paper flirted down in front of me. With one hand I grabbed the paper, writing welcoming my eyes. 'Clocks go tisp tisp tisp. Flip over.'

No they don't you silver halo'd angel.

Flipping the paper around and I started to read the words congregated there. 'Yes they do. Tisp tisp tisp. Kick bottom.' Without taking my eyes off of silhouette I folded the paper and slipped it into my bag. I guess that is what I need to do, I told myself as I relaxed then gripped my staff a little stronger over and over,

I look over to the banana milkshake sitting there a safe distance away and almost as if on queue the tip of the straw draw, almost like it was saying 'Go for it.'

"Time to kick bottom...."  I said with a nod.

((Set the clock, bottom kicking time and ugh I hope there it no time change during it. Fall back..... Spring forward. It sounds like a bad dance....))

[Catherine]

This is it, everyone is here,  I tell myself as I stand there not planning for the next moment. Best not to plan for something that really can't be planned for.

'No you weren't suppose to punch, you were suppose to take a step back. Now we have to start this all over again. Remember to do everything as planned, so the fight runs smoothly.'

I think Silhouette was preparing too, its wings constantly shifting snd tentacles constantly doing what tentacles do. Other than that I couldn't tell anything with silohuette. Was it breathing hard, got me. Did the all new because monkey girls don't fall out of the sky you know, monkey meteor of coolness special attack, do anything to silhouette, head scratcher there too. Not even sure if I can hit silhouette really but got to give it a try.

Behind my back, I shift the grip on the staff of whapping. Don't need tripping over it when the next moment arrives. That would be kind of embarrassing, I got you whoops and thump roll with stars above head.  Not a good way to start anything really. I got this cake for whoops and SPLAT! Look at this little glass figurine, whoops and CRASH! I will just take this jar full of Africanized bees right over, whoops and BUZZ STING!

Time slows for a moment as I blink, I can see one of silhouette's tentacles starting to move. I don't  think, just react as time starts back up on all cylinders, cartwheel to the side as the tentacle flies by. Slicing through the area I was just at. By the looks of it, it would have been painful too. Why don't tentacles try to shake your hand? They just go for the uncomfortable hug or the skewer you like a hotdog thing. More tentacles fly at me, I flip and somersault and roll over each and every one like they aren't even there.

A bunch shoot at me at once, they do say it is best to work as a group don't they? I dance to the side and pirouette away, lazily spinning. Which is actually a defensive move, I mean look at it. Tentacles come flying and CHING off a foot or the staff. CHING! CHING! CHING!  CHING!  CHING! Tentacle mayhem in the fishing town!

The spinning slows and stops, thankfully, anymore spinning and I would have URP'd all over. Which isn't a special attack or defense move, it is an ick move. One that is fine for that creature over there *point to a creature over there* but not me. I stand there for a moment, balanced on my toes like a ballerina.

CRACK A SMACK!

Goes a tentacle at my feet and I flip and tuck away, shooting the tentacle the power sign 'I am keeping my eyes on you!' Land, the tip of my tail tapping the ground just for a moment before I dive away. Too fast for judges to do their thing though. As tentacles lash out at me, well where I was. Not there anymore though, if I was I would be in a world of OW!

I dance about silhouette, who isn't even bothering to watch, as the tentacles keeping trying to catch me. I even managed to jump rope with one, singing a little rhyme like I use too. Jumping away in the nick of time when a couple of tentacles tried to come at me from different sides.  Well I sort of did the splits, the tentacles bang their tentacle heads together overhead as I rolled followed by a jump away.

Suddenly my foot found something slippery and I started to slip and fall. I thought I had stepped on a slug that was in the wrong place at the wrong time but with a quick 'What did I just step on?' Look I could see it was a tentacle. I should have called foul and thrown a flag, just plain sloppy fighting there. Leaving tentacles just laying about, some one could slip and ohhhh..... I got it, still worth a whistle blow.

'Tweet..... A twenty yard penalty for laying tentacles laying about. *hand sign of tentacles and pointing* We will continue the fight over there!'

I glanced backwards and can see that I was falling into a vat full of sharks. Not sure where silhouette was keeping that. No wait that doesn't make sense. I look again, just a big tentacle. I was worried for a moment, not ready for sharks at the moment especially if silhouette used them as weapons like throwing stars, I would be in trouble. No way to dodge a bunch of hammerheads tossed at you.

With a little bend here and help with the air flow by my tail, I extend the fall into a dive backwards. The only trouble with those is that you don't see what you are heading into, unless you bend your head way back, so you might be diving into a large teeth filled mouth. I already verified the lack of teeth behind me so back I went. Bend, contort and up I went.

"You thought you had me you stupid tentacle, " I said with a spin and point, "you have been out monkeyed!"

The tentacle looked sad laying there, all it wanted was a tentacle hug and squeeze and I denied it that. Of course, what I didn't know is that the tentacle had been taking acting lessons and was faking it. I didn't realize that until I felt a smack on my back followed by what sounded like a bunch of kissing sounds as I fell into the large tentacle. I knew what the sounds meant and it wasn't kissing either, it was suckers and not of good kind!


*****

You know that movie with the giant snake in it that wraps around its victim before hugging them to pieces, what was it again? The super humongous garter snake that hugs you to pieces, I think.

I can't remember how it got so big, one moment it was small and the next it was wrapping itself around buildings trying to swallow them. The effects were pretty good, the people running away screaming was believable but the snake looked all rubbery and stuff. It really didn't move it just sort of laid there with its tongue out. When it moved it really didn't and when it climbed on buildings it looked like it was laying down in an upright position. It never really emoted or blinked, the tongue was always in the proper hissing position at all times. Which would promote dryness of the tongue and I would think it, being the snake, would constantly need to dip its tongue into glasses of water. It didn't help that the movies was in 3D, the rubber snake is coming at me eeeeee. They could have saved money and not use one of the D's.

Yeah so when it wrapped and you that hide the strings really good, the snake would  sort of just spiral around and we'll just squeeze. I didn't know that that snakes' heads and tails would stretch when they squeezed too. The target of the death hug would scream and stick its tongue out.m

Okay where was I going with that, oh squeezed by a snake that is really are tentacle. Constantly winding up me, it's little suckers popping constantly. POP POP POP POP POP POP. It was weird and hey! Watch where you pop. I am sensitive there. Some tentacles get a little touchy feely. Just because they are bigger and thicker and have suckers they think they can just sucker you wherever they want.

"Hey watch it!" I screamed as I got suckered by another sucker in a place I never wanted to be suckered. With a little work I popped an arm free and rubbed the area as i was slowly twisted and lifted off the ground. I could try to extend my staff, that would surprise silhouette, but all I think it would do is shoot out the top and knock a bird out of the sky. Sparrow corner pocket. So I sat there a let the tentacle do its work as I scowled. A pretty vicious scowl too, one that silhouette will know I am not too happy.

Slowly its face came into view and I think it looked at me, the whole looking like a void thing was throwing me. I Humphed and scowled more at silhouette as I hung there in front of it. Go ahead and bore into my soul. Judge me if you like, I don't see any badges so you really aren't a judge so Nyah. I could feel the squeezing getting stronger and stronger, was it trying to find out what my secret filling is? Because I didn't want to find out!

Tighter and tighter it got, slowly pushing my tongue out of my mouth. In an adorable way by the way. To add insult to injury, the tip of the tentacle flicked my nose. BOING went my nose and growled, "That is it! That was taking it too far!"

*super monkey girl teeth noming attack of let me go!*

Mouth flew open and then down right on to the tentacle. I will regret the after taste but the tentacle needed to learn a lesson.

*Nom level wow!*

I teeth massaged the tentacle and it was nasty. Like rubber covered in more rubber covered in sweat. Ick! But the tentacle reacted, it started to shake around trying to break my teeth grasp on it. No one breaks the super monkey girl teeth noming attack of let me go until the person doing it decides it is done. Around and around I flew, I could feel the tentacles starting to loosen.

*nom level oh wow!*

I open and bite harder, catching the tentacle off guard and it from moving to jerking to try and get me off. "No chance!" I growled as I grated my teeth, trying to keep my tongue away from tentacle contact.

Jerking went to erratic jerking and I started to count to myself. Three....two....one... As the tentacle jerked forwards I let go and flew away from it. I kept my eyes on the tentacle though as I flipped and landed. Snapping my teeth a couple times before spitting and pulling out some mouth wash out of my bag.,

"One moment please," I said before gargling. Can't fight whole my mouth tasted like blah.

((Like I am going to gargle and try to write. The words would be all sloppy....))

[Catherine]

Hold finger up, which is the pointer finger just in the vertical position. So unless you are pointing directly up it means 'hold'.

GARGLE! SWISH! GARGLE!

Cheeks puffed our, I pause for a moment considering my next move. Dispensing of the mouth wash, I look around looking for a sink. I really should have thought this out before gargling after teeth massaging.

"Wa ah momut." I tell silhouette, still with the hold finger up, as I continued to look around. Why can't I ever find a sink when I need one? Could swallow the mouth wash but that would be gross. Hmm..... I turn back towards silhouette and give it a mouth wash filled chipmunk cheek smile, "On mu monut."

SWISH! GARGLE! SWISH!

I run over to a tree and duck my head behind it. I don't throw up since that is gross but I empty the mouthwash from my mouth. Patting the tree as I stand back up, "I will have to come back later and see if you smell like mint." It might be relaxing to stand here and smell a hint of mint in the air as the wind blows through the leaves. Inhale and cough cough cough, "I think I just swallowed a bird."  Why would one fly so low?

Stumbling away from the tree, I cough and secretly pray that I don't see any feathers coming from me. I am not a pillow so please no feathers, is that one ? No... For a moment I thought I saw a feather, I must have swallowed a little bit of mouthwash and I am hallucinating. Seeing feathers..... Will I see green elephants too? Ones born of the green mint.

"Okay I think I am ready," I tell silhouette as I shake my head, trying to clear my head of the effects of the accidentally swallowed mouthwash. I don't need to see imaginary feathers when this is taken to the next level, I would get distracted and start to swipe at them. Don't need that. Hiyaaaaaoooohhhh look a feather, it is tickling my nose.

I could see silhouette's tentacles start to flex, preparing to strike."Wait one more moment, don't want to pull a muscle." I kick one leg up snd stretch and then the other, "never can be careful, "  I say as I swing my arms in circles them bend side to side, back popping a little. Arm behind the head and crack, "Ow!" Then the other right before doing tail stretches, proper tail warm ups is necessary since a crink in the tail can throw the aerodynamics off. Do a flip and find yourself spinning out of control. CRASH BOOM and SQUEAL!

"Okay...." I said as stretched my arms above my head, my staff of whapping in my hands as I bent side to side, "now I am ready. Where was we?"

((It is always good to end with a question. You know for dramatic nail bitting waits...))

[Catherine]

My question was answered with tentacles, tentacles of all sizes. No favoritism was shown with this answer. They came flying we'll sort of flying, tentacles don't have wings or rocket engines so not really flying. They came at me though and my staff flew into action.

CHING! CHING! CHING and more CHINGS!

I could feel my feet slipping on the ground as tentacles beat into me, silhouette wasn't kidding around this time I guess. Did he have somewhere to be? Maybe the apocalypse had a start by date? If you don't start the apocalypse by so and so date we can't guarantee results. Instead of fire, brimstone and screaming you might get unicorns, cotton candy and singing. Although taking a unicorn to the head would hurt a lot.

Deja vu was setting in, tentacles and staff spinning. Even the tentacle trying to sneak around and catch by surprise right there. HIYAH! Need to change this up or something might happen, like me getting bored. Spin and block here, oh and that one over there too, yawn. Oops I almost forgot the one over there, spin and squish. Le bored.  SMACK! SMACK!

Doesn't silhouette know anything else or is this just scripted? If it is, someone forgot to give me the script. SMACK!

"Are you going to try something different?" I growled as I continued to spin and smack. "I know the whole tentacle thing is cool. Especially throwing them all at me at once but," SMACK, "try to be a little creative."

"Here I will show you," I said as I pushed the spinning staff forwards a little, knocking the tentacles back before stopping the staff. I think silhouette blinked, trying to figure out what I was doing, simple really I was standing there. Then the tentacles came at me again, there was a slight pause for a moment when the tentacles thought the staff would start to spin and when it didn't they just rushed forward.

Three....Two and One! In a blink of an eye right before the tentacles could touch me I leaned back. Then further back and even further, letting my tail take the staff right before my hands meet ground and my feet decided to follow the tentacles, flipping to all fours.

"Surprise," I said with a smile as I took off towards the tentacles source, silhouette. I have to umm.... hand it to my tail. Any tentacles that started to catch on what was happening, it was blocking with the staff. If I looked back I would see a growing path of dazed tentacles behind me hanging there confused, "Good job."

I know silhouette wasn't expecting anything like this, it expected me to stand there and spin my staff. Nope! I learn from the past and repeating it makes meeeeeezzzzzz. Wait what am I doing? Just the thought alone of just standing there was making me sleepy. Quickly I correct my slow descent towards the ground and whoosh! Quickly silhouette's form was closing in, it was right there and I was right here, no right here, no right here. You get what I am saying.

With a smile, I decide to do something fun and regret it the next moment as a cicada smacks into my teeth. I change direction and reach out for a tentacle. Using my force which is calculated by taking the mass of myself, which isn't much and I am not going to say and multiple by the acceleration of said object.

[censored mass] times my current acceleration which is, let me look at my speedometer, wow that fast huh. Carry the one and not the zero and I get and this could be off by a decimal point. So please, if you want, redo the math. I get *clear throat* wow you are strong in the force. Not sure where the letters came from though, but they spell something out clearly.

My body swings up and up, let go of the tentacle at just the right moment I arc up and over. Dramatic lighting behind me of course as I flip and spin in front of Silhouette, removing my shoes because I grabbed  another tentacle with my feet and swung  back down and under the tentacles again.

In a blink of an eye I was off, after putting my shoes back on. I didn't need to step on anything barefooted at the moment. Then took off running, right for my target. This was a calculated risk but it worked before, maybe just maybe it will work again. I dive  and roll, taking the staff from my tail as I rolled.

*super secret ninja technique ring the bell*

Up swung my staff and I think I heard the clear sound of a bell ringing when staff meet something. For a moment, nothing else happened then.....then silhouette was flung up and backwards into the air, all thanks to the technique. It guaranteed a temporary stunning of the target of the technique and by the way the tentacles streaked back pass me to silhouette, I could tell it was stunned.

“See something different.”

((Ding. ))

[Catherine]

Back flew silhouette all slow motion like, tentacles still streaking pass me. I am pretty sure those were the stragglers too or the ones that like to loiter. Obviously they didn't read the sign in the parking lot right over there. No loitering and absolutely No jumping jacks, patrons do not want to see that.

SHUMP. SHUMP. SHUMP. Went the tentacles back into the void of Silhouette and when the last one went SHUMP, Silhouette beat its wings and froze its fall backwards. Quickly I covered my eyes with one hand, cocking a leg backwards as the wind buffeted me.  If it slipped in a phpt too, I will be mad. Standing there I watched as silhouette righted itself with the help of the beating of its wings.

"I was wondering about those," I said, covering my mouth with a hand so no loose twigs, pebbles, insects, small birds or anything similar flew into my mouth. "I thought they might just be for show. You know the effect, throw out the wings to make you all big and menacing. A lot of villains with wings do it you know, whoosh fear me I am big and menacing blah. Yeah well the big pink wings say something else. But you got working ones, so no ostriches are in your bloodline."

Again no witty villain  banter from silhouette, it just hovered there looking down at me. It would have been funny if some slow moving pigeons slammed into the back of it. Can't be menacing or scary with pigeons feathers floating around you. I lost it for a moment as I imagined the whole thing happening.

Fear me monkey girl. I will hover up here out of reach and stare at you. Now I must think of THUMP! What the? THUMP! Stop flying into me, I am trying to THUMP! Stop it with the feathers, I am going to sneeze.

I double over laughing and shake a open hand towards silhouette, "Sorry...sorry had a funny thought. Give me a moment." At least I wasn't. Imagining geese flying into silhouette, I would be rolling on the ground. A goose to the head, even to the gut will take any thoughts of the apocalypse out of a person or thing.

"Okay, okay I am ready." I said standing back up straight, wiping the tears away from my eyes as I do. Taking a breath or two I prepared myself for something and something came. Something with the words 'black' and 'leathery' attached to it. Instantly my staff appeared in my hands and defensive block.

PCHOW!

I never wondered what a giant wing would smell like but now I knew as it pushed itself into the staff. Leathery I guess with a distinct bat smell. It was a battle if strength as silhouette pushed and I pushed back through clenched teeth. If it threw the other wing into the..... Almost spoke to soon there, but I caught a glimpse of moment of the not flying type from the other wing   Right before it shot towards me. An idea popped into my mind and it was not to be there or....

With a smile, I spun the staff and parried the one wing into the other at the last moment. Master always said to use an opponents strength against itself. I always thought it meant something else really but now I understood when I watched the two wings crash into each other. I didn't expect any explosions or fire coming from them like when airplanes fly into each other or other things. It would have been cool though.

DOUBLE PCHOW!

Silhouette quickly pulled its wings back, shaking them a little and maybe giving me a dirty look, that is what happens when you get all wingsie. Slowly it began to turn around. Was it going to cry? Curious I start to follow Silhouette, I didn't want to hurt it. I just didn't want the whole apocalypse thing that is all.

"Are you..." I start to ask, when suddenly one of silhouette's wings shot towards me like a thrown knife. Slicing the air in two as  flew right at me. No time to bring up my staff and position it properly, with the trajectory that the wing was flying it stood a good chance of slipping by the staff. I mean a staff is only so wide, a little to the right or left and ow!

No time to think, I close my eyes as the tip of the wing made a beeline right at me. Any moment now.....

"Ninja art of not being here" I whisper and POOF instantly a cloud forms around me. Followed by a KERCHUNK as the wing slices into the cloud and into something. The halves of the cloud fall to either side revealing a small log with a little monkey face drawn on it.

Hiding behind a tree, I watched as Silhouette shook the wing trying to get the log off. Quietly I took out my phone and brought it up. "This is so being posted," I whispered to myself as I pointed my phone and tapped the screen.

SNAP!

Instantly I froze, forgetting that I didn't turn off the whole camera taking a photo sound in my phone. I needed to think, Silhouette knew I wasn't on the tip of its wing. I took a step out and pointed at a leaf on the ground, "How dare you take a photo, thinking you could post it on the Internet to get thousands if not millions of likes. What were you going to hash tag it anyway? #apocalypsestumped or something?" Was it going to work?

My answer came quickly as the monkey stump flew right pass me and the sound of wing slicing air followed.

*Ninja art of not being here*

Another cloud POOFED and another log was sacrificed as I disappeared. This time silhouette was onto me and quickly looked around, spotting my tail poking out from behind a tree.

SWISH!

 *Ninja art of not being here*

From where I was hiding now behind a lawn gnome, why it was here I don't  have the faintest, I watched as the tree was sliced in two and so was the log nearly missing the other wing shooting towards me.

 *Ninja art of not being here*

From behind a pigeon, a tear rolled down my cheek as the lawn gnome's head flew off. I didn't want that to happen to the pigeon so I POOFED again and peaking out from this new vantage point I could see that the pigeon was safe.

The dance continued, me proofing and silhouette slicing away. A twisted form of hide and go seek really, which if I lost I would be without a head and that puts a hamper to things. POOF, behind a cement curb. POOF, behind a light pole. POOF, behind another pigeon, the other one is over there. POOF, okay this is getting tiring my poofer is almost out.

I can see a wing shooting towards me, one last poof in me I think. POOF!


*****

KERCHUNK!

Goes the wing into the wood and Silhouette starts to look around. It knows what I have done before so it is expecting me to behind that over there. Slice goes the wing through a sprinkler head sending water spraying into the air. Nope! Pick again, maybe that thing over there. Slice goes the wing through a parking meter, moments later the sound of metal hitting ground can be heard echoing off everything. Nope! Try again.

Silhouette pauses for a moment, thinking maybe. Where is the monkey girl? Maybe behind that pigeon over there? Better not she has been tricky so far and it might not be a pigeon. How about the garbage can? She could be hiding inside it. Yeah I will answer that thought with an ick. No way would I hide in a garbage can, the apocalypse would have to be coming for me to consider... Okay never mind. Still ick. How about the mirrored ball over there, really not sure why anyone would hang one up there for. No way she would hide in a place as obvious as that. Where then, you ask yourself. Where?

I watched from my vantage point of here, watching as silhouette looked around trying to find me. This is so fun, it is like those 'Where is Wilbur' books, but I am really good at hiding. Nope not over there. Not there either. Nah that place is too hot.  That is too cold. That place is just right but not there either. Where is the monkey girl?

"Here I am!" I yell as I POOF and cover what I think is Silhouette's eyes. If they are somewhere else, I am not going to cover them. Eyes usually go here and that is good, anywhere else would just be plain weird. "You didn't expect me here did you?"

Instantly tentacles shot up all around me, Maybe I should of thought this out better. and I give a nervous laugh. *boink goes the idea bulb* Where is the fun in that? 

"You better think about it, if you try to tentacle me, you might miss me and tentacle yourself. Do you want to be suckered?"

I could see the tentacles hesitate right before Silhouette started to jerk around trying to get me to let go. Quickly I switched my imaginary hat from the well worn adventurer one to  a ten gallon hat. I did try to find a smaller gallon one,maybe a two or three gallon one but everywhere I looked they told me that only ten gallon ones were made. It just looks so huge on my head. Ride them little err cowmonkey. No um cowmonkeygirl. Let's go with cute cowgirl with a tail okay? Silhouette lurches and jerks around and if I wasn't holding on, I would let go with one hand a "Wahoo!" But holding on so no wahooing at the moment.

All over the parking lot we go, I know I have to be getting a good riding time. I just have to be and I am dung gentle and considerate. No imaginary Spurs into Silhouette's sides. On and on we went, but the bucking and jerking started to slow down. Will Silhouette collapse under me? Will clowns appear from nowhere to distract it? I hope not, clowns are a little creepy sometimes.  Then nothing, just standing there, I could even hear the silence crickets singing. Well poo! Ride is already done.

As I was about to pat the side of what I think is Silhouette's head a tentacle went shooting pass me and another shot somewhere else. "Remember," I started to say, "you stand a chance of tentacling yourself."

Right before being hit by something, two somethings actually, I hear "You don't have a ticket......" and the sound of beads whistling in the air. Then THUNK THUNK and darkness.

((Fade to Black and that is cool transition to what is coming next week.))

[Catherine]

"Ow..." Was all that came out of me as I started to push myself up off the ground. What just hit me? It wasn't tentacles, definitely not those. Whatever it was was hard, did silhouette grab some bricks or something? Maybe coconuts? Definitely felt like coconuts.

"What did you just hit me with?" I asked as I started to open my eyes, one hand rubbing my head to try and alleviate the pain. I could see silhouette standing there and followed one tentacle off to the right and saw Dani laying there, her little tongue hanging out of her mouth as the stars danced above her. I watched as she lifted a hand and started to paw the air in front of her saying something about tickets.

"Why did you drag her into this?" I asked as I watched her for a moment look, wondering why she had a silver halo. All of the other angels I knew, well didn't really know but I saw at the top of the Christmas tree, had gold halos p. I guess she wanted to be hip and different. Gold halos were so last century or something. All of the hip angels went silver. Throw the sign of the halo!

I turned my head to look at silhouette with a glare, "She has nothing to do with this. Just minding her business up in the clouds." Silhouette had no answers, I am finding out that creatures of tentacles, wings and voids usually don't. There was no call for this, the apocalypse didn't have to include others.

Sitting there glaring, almost monkey girl mad, I felt something bump against my leg. If a tentacle was wrapping around it I would so stand up and jump up and down on it. All the while gritting my teeth and maybe add a little bit of a growl. Sitting there was a bead, then another and yet another. I remember the beads hanging around the lurking monk's neck.

Suddenly my eyes went wide. Ow! Okay not that wide, that kind of hurt. Okay so a little less wide and I traced the other tentacle back to the monk. Face down with his bald head catching the light just right to blind me. Quickly I brought a hand up to cover my eyes and could see the monks moving a little. Thank monkey he wasn't hurt that bad.  I heard him mumbling something about friend, some numbers in the calculation of how fast a monk would be going to break the sound barrier and finally something about eye rain. Did he get something in his eyes and meant pain? Did he have a vision on the moment of impact about it raining eyes? They would be really bad, you could never could stand up because they would constantly be slipping out from under you. That and you would constantly have the feeling of being stared at. It would be interesting to see if the weathermen would predict it.

"Today there is a slight chance of rain. Oh how odd we have a phone call. Can I help you?"

"You said there would be a slight chance of rain."

"Yes, I did."

"Yeah, look outside and see what you see. Because what is falling from the sky will be looking at you!"

"What?" And faint.

"Why did you drag him into this too," I yelled throwing  my hand out to point at the monk, temporarily getting blinded by the head shine at the same time. A growl could be heard as I grabbed a bead, "You poop head!" Then hurled it at silhouette's head.

I could hear it hitting something and dig in. I wasn't kidding when I threw it. If I had a police speed thingie it would be reading something good at the moment. As I popped up I could see the ball spinning against Silhouette's face, sparks and everything flying off of it.

"I can't believe you and don't even think about 'including' anyone else. My head and specifically their heads don't like running into each other," I caught a glimpse of a tentacle doing something, "I said no! Bad tentacle! No one else is being included in this apocalypse thing. Just you and me."

I stood there, the bead still spinning into Silhouette's face and caught another tentacle trying to be sneaky. "I said no!" and kicked a bead at it, knocking it in its tentacle head or whatever tentacles have. From here I could see little tentacle stars swirling about it. "The rest of you tentacles better learn from what just happened. I am not happy that you decided to include others without asking. Not happy whatsoever." Stamping a food to express by not happiness. I could hear movement coming from Dani and Lurker.

"You two get out of here," I said without taking my eyes of Silhouette and the tentacles, putting couple on the spot with a quick hand sign.

"Kay," I heard Dani answer as she started to flutter off. "Good luck friend," Lurker said as he joined the gentlemen on the building.

"I will do my best," I answer the lurker as the bead fell from Silhouette's face. "I will do my best."   

((And the fight goes on....))

[Catherine]

A wind kicked up and blew a dust cloud up between silhouette and myself. To make it even more dramatic, there was a lone piece of paper swirling in the dust cloud too. Anymore than one piece and it cut into the dramatic and made it ridiculous. Which was proven by scientific experiments funded by the government, not sure which one though. That and anymore pieces of paper and you would risk getting nasty paper cut and where there is paper cuts there is iodine and ow!

So yeah wind, dust cloud and lone piece of paper swirling about. I missed what was on the paper as it blew by but that didn't matter. Unless it was telling me that I was going to lose, which I would have laughed anyways as I crumpled  the paper up into a ball and threw it away. But the moment was dramatic and if that one type of music that played during spaghetti westerns, sort of like a lute or singing, it would have taken the dramatic to the next level. Which might have been too much though. This so felt like one of those gunfights I saw on tv when I watched it with my dad and I did have the imaginary ten gallon hat on so I was dressed for that.

Both of us just stood there waiting for the other to make the first move. I could feel the silhouette's one eye squinting stare boring into my soul as I flexed my hands. Every muscle in my body preparing for being somewhere else and doing more.  Silhouette's tentacles slowly moved as its wings barely did anything, the little claws flexed though and hey I think one just gave me a rude sign!

Everything got quiet, not even the silence crickets sung out. I was so tempted to find a pin and drop it to see if I would hear it. If my stomach decided to growl, everyone would have heard it and I would have been embarrassed. If I ppfftted, I would have been really embarrassed and would have turned bright red.,

I could feel the sweat starting to run down my face, one little sweat ball slowly making its way down and I think silhouette was sweating too, just void sweat. No deodorant was made for that I think.

'When I feel like bringing the world to a end I  reach for elder scream. It gives me that just fresh feeling and now it comes in both the original soul  retching scent (made for sports) and Maelstrom musk. Don't think we forgot you ladies,  we have you covered to with sensual scream of the scared & terrified and lavender. So remember Elder Scream when you are bringing the world to an end and you don't want to stink or have those under arm sweat stains.'

Okay maybe there is deodorant made for void things. That might explain the fresh spring scent in the air coming from silhouette.

Standing there all I could think of was, 'This is intense.' oh and... I shot a glance towards the banana milkshake and back again in the blink of a eye. It was safe as far as I could tell. No dents or scratched in the cup and the straw wasn't bent funny or have void goo on it. Which was good.

My tail slowed down and was prepared, no way it was going to be caught by surprise. Someone just needs to mo......

((Okay That is an embarrassing place to end. I sound like I am a cow girl. Which I am not! No one come up to me and ask “Got milk?”!))

[Catherine]

For a moment I thought it was just silhouette flexing his wings but there was flash of movement as tentacles shot towards me, well towards where I was. I wasn't there anymore, not going to be caught off guard if I am ready and I was ready like a monkey on a banana. Okay that doesn't really make sense, sort of busy at the moment and have other things on my mind to come up with something witty.

I spring off to the side as tentacles snap at the empty air and continue to cartwheel away. A moving target is a target that is really hard to hit, my old master use to say and I was making sure that I was moving and I could hear the tentacles snapping where I always wasn't.  Front flip. Back flip and some other type of flip was used to play keep away from the tentacles. I know they thought they had me at some points but nope. All they could get a hold of was air and currently that wasn't dancing around.

Half way into a flip a tentacle shot out in the direction I was heading, suckers pointing towards me and ready to do suckering. Evasive actions and air brakes were slammed on and I came to a screeching halt. For a moment I hung there in the air, physics ignored, that subject always made me yawn. Things go up and things come down. Things accelerate and decelerate. Slip and slide, which was always fun to play on. Physics it makes the world turn around and go boom. At this moment physics was luckily  interested in something else.  But when it got interest back in me I drop down onto all fours, pressed up once and flipped onto my back.

Why monkey, do you ask. Why would you flip onto your back and expose your belly. Yes nothing could sneak up  from behind you but still. A simple answer, I am not a turtle. So I am not stuck there waving my hands and feet around trying to stand up. Another answer, it is easier to spin on my butt and that is what I start to do. Spin like a little top and take off leaving a little dust trail behind.

ZIP!

I bob and weave, spin and juke. Whatever the last thing is, I do it. Across the parking lot as tentacles erupt around me, I even run up some of the bigger ones in fact. ZIP! I swerve to the right. ZIP! Now to the left. Tentacles are just everywhere, but not where I am at. A set thinks it has the better of me and forms a walk, but before they can close up all of the way I pop up and slip through the opening. Jerking my tail through at the last second before the tentacles can grab it.

Bricks erupt around me as I shot across a wall, shooting brick stuff up in the air. ACHOO! Mid spin I stick my hands out and spring feet first away from the wall. Landing for a split second before taking off again.  A large bigger than life tentacle thrusts from nowhere and I spring at it, pulling myself up and on top of it. I could mock the tentacle, but that isn't nice. It isn't its fault that it couldn't catch me. There there little not so little tentacle, maybe next time. Hopefully not but still. I start the spinning and shoot down the length of the tentacle. Monkey torpedo launched and on target.

I grind and reverse goofy grind down the length of the tentacle, even did a loop da loop. Which surprised me really, I didn't know I was going fast enough to do I've of those. For a moment I glance at my speedometer, wow that fast, as I zing up the tentacle.

"Time for a monkey knuckle sandwich," I said as I uncurled, fist pointing in the proper position of ow as I flew towards silhouette's head. We have contact in three...two....urk! 


****

That is all I can say is urk. It fits so many different things, especially when you are caught off guard by something. That something was a little fist on a big bat wing that at the moment was hitting me.

*tiny batfist uppercut!*

I didn't even know that those little hands could be balled up. But I was learning from first hand experience that they could. If I knew it was coming, I would have dodged it too. Back I flew, carried by the force of that little fist, up into the sky. A voice in my head yelling "FINISH HER!" in a not so nice but determined way.

Wait what? Finish her? Who is her? I thought as I continued to fly backwards and taking way too long. I am guessing to be dramatic, everything slowed down and I am going to be taking my own sweet time hitting the ground where I bounce a couple times and then stick my tongue out with my eyes closed. Then something bad happens, it usually does when 'finish her' is yelled. Be it breaking of something that I prefer not to be broken, leaking of liquids that I prefer not to leak, maybe even attacked by hairless cats and anything in between.

"No finishing her here," I said in response as I started to paw at the air trying to stop the slow decent to well the ground and the last part of finish her. Unless that last part comes in midair and silhouette grabs me and does something that I really don't want to happen, which I don't. So I paw and hoping I can....

Suddenly I jerk to a stop, my hands catching on something. What it is I don't know, but it is keeping me from crossing the 'if you cross this line you will be finished in ways you really don't want to know about at the moment since it will make your tummy turn' line so I am okay with whatever it is. I take advantage of whatever I am holding onto and push as hard as possible, flipping off to the side and out of the slow motion fall backwards.

"You know you...." I start to say as I drop to the ground, not even given the time to finish my thought as a fist comes streaking towards me. This time I am ready, I know that bat hands can make bat fists. I dodge to the side, the bat fist whizzing by my ear. I know where there is one there is usually two, so I quickly glance towards where I think the other bat hand is, follow the wing up, and see it arcing in my direction. I drop into the splits and the first sails above my head, knocking my imaginary hat off.

I guess silhouette pulled back his other hand and was now sending it down at me. "No pounding monkey," I said as I rolled forward, the bat fist slamming into the ground with a loud CRACK! If it the hand was attached to an arm I would have swung around and wrapped my legs around it. A person would have to be awfully desperate to swing  at their own body right? But no, fist attached to wing so I have to resort to plan b.

For a moment I sit there, a good little target and I can hear the fist coming towards me. At the last moment I shift backwards *monkey flash step* and throw my arms out. Sweeping them around the hand and the wing when they hit the ground in front of me, cracking the cement.

Surprised, silhouette jerks the wing up, thinking it might slip out of my hands and it would hit me with its other fist which was heading right towards me. Unfortunately I had a pretty good grip on its wing and hand, all thanks to the 'I don't want to go' training I did when I was young with my dad.

Up I went as silhouette's other fist swished under me, barely missing the tail. What happened next reminded me of the whole jackhammer incident. Which I still blame on someone else. Up and down Silhouette jerked its arm and for a moment it looked like I might slip off so I let go!

Boop as simple as that. Just let go, I could have held on for a lot longer too. We would have both been laying on the ground exhausted, silhouette barely able to lift its wing and me with my arms still wrapped around it. But where is the fun in that?

((I could have ended this with a dramatic nail biter but thought a question would be easier on the brain thingie. I will make you think mwhahahaha.))

[Catherine]

Up I flew again, maybe I should look at getting a little set of wings if I keep doing this. Oh, oh maybe a jet pack. That would be cool, maybe after this is done I can go see if Winter has one. I am sure he does since he is a spy and that is a requirement for all spies. A tux if you are a guy, A beautiful dress if you are a girl, some spy stuff, clean underwear since you never know what type of situation you might be caught in and a jet pack. You probably have to do jet pack driving lessons to if you are a spy, teaching you how to parallel park and stuff. A flying instructor sitting on your shoulder like a parrot as you test, scribbling things down on a clipboard while shaking his or her head getting you all worried for nothing since when you look on the clipboard, all they are doing is playing tic-tac-toe.

So up I went, feet first this time which is different. It gets a little something or another when you are falling or being flung and can't see where you are going. It can lead to some odd things. I have heard stories and I don't want any of it happening to me, still can't picture how the duck... Oh and Roswell, I heard from some guy who knew a guy who knew this other guy who was like a third cousin to someone that someone knew that might have been there but wasn't really sure that someone accidentally put on a jet pack backwards and whoosh hit the unidentified flying object. Oh sorry weather balloon. Where do you think the story about aliens doing probes started at?

Anyways where was I? Oh yeah flying upwards backwards, hoping nothing was back there. Oh please please please, no ducks. That story sounded painful. Something streaked by or I streaked by it and I just reached for it, whatever it was I didn't care.,it would be better than a duck. Definitely if it went the way the story went. Whatever it was gave a little as I jerked to a stop, hanging there I looked to see what had stopped me. Hopping it wasn't a flock of sparrows that were in the wrong place at the wrong time. I could imagine there little mouths open, tongues sticking out as their eyes bulged. Thankfully it wasn't that, what it was was something with suckers.

I could see the tentacle stretching as I hung there, just like a rubber ba... *Ninja light bulb over head* Without thinking, because I didn't want to, I let go off the tentacle and watched it go shooting back just like a rubber band.

With a loud SNAP it hit Silhouette in I think the face, sending it flying backwards and not in slow motion either. I guess the mathematics and psychics wouldn't allow for it this time. Silhouette hit the ground with a thump followed by a couple more before coming to a stop. I stood there and watched as it started to pick itself off the ground, wiping its face with a little wing hand.

That had to take some of the steam out of silhouette, it had too and by how slow It was getting up I knew I was right. I looked down at my wrist and the imaginary watch sitting there, looks like it is time for a taunt.

"How do you like those, um tentacles?"

((Ending with a question which is always good. Makes you think, thinking is good. Well sometimes....))

[Catherine]

Well shoot that could have been better. No taker backers either. I really should have thought that out better, maybe prepped a notecard or something.

By the look on silhouette's well, who am I kidding I couldn't tell what expression it had on its face. It was something; shock, awe, pain, saw a puppy and was in love or something else. I will just go with not happy and give a thumbs up.

"See they don't taste good do they?" I asked taking a step back just in case silhouette decided to lash out just because it could. "Unless you decide to bread then deep fry them, your tentacles taste like blah and really chewy."

I think but not really sure, silhouette turned a little, leaned over and spit. All the while keeping an eye on me. Again I didn't know it felt eyeish. The stare bordering on glare that says how dare you do what you just did. Do you know how long it took me to get ready and you just slap me in the face with my own tentacle! A grrr hiss type of stare with a side of void added in this time.

A cold breeze blew between the two of us. A type of breeze that only blows on when something is taken to the next level. "But come on, it was just a tentacle slap in the face I mean I didn't mock with 'stop hitting yourself' or anything."

Another cold breeze breeze blew between us sending leaves up in the air to dance. " Oh come on, it was its tentacle that it tasted and it isn't like I went out and found an octopus or squid and smacked it with it." I  stood there and no cold breeze blew. It might have realized it was wrong and no level was anything being taken to.

Then  I felt it, the cold breeze  blowing, real quiet and ninja like but I felt it. " Fine.... But why wasn't anything silhouette doing taking it to the next level?"

I didn't expect an answer but I got a cold breeze. "You got to be kidding me, that isn't fair!"

There was a subtle breeze this time, "Fine, but someone needs to look into that. Void creatures bent on the apocalypse shouldn't be able to do anything they want. That isn't right."

I could barely feel the breeze this time, but a lone leaf leaf dancing gave it a way. Really it should have picked another place to hide. Maybe something a little less leafy that wouldn't give it away. "Yeah I know, you are only doing your job. I am not mad or anything. I just thought, but hey," I smiled and gave the breeze the thumbs up.

Silhouette at least had manners and I gave to give it to it. It didn't barge into the conversation. Quickly I threw my head side to side, stretching a little. POP! Ow, I need to be a little more careful next time. I don't need anything popping out and rolling away.. I could see Silhouette doing the same in a way I think.

Both of us could sense that taking it to the next level, was taking it to a level beyond. Beyond is sort of beyond and really I like it here. Here is nice even with the fish smell. You can fix that with a little bit of air freshener. You can't fix beyond because it is beyond fixing.

Everything got deafly quiet, deafly still and deafly anything else. This was it. This was...

((Oh my Monkey a dramatic pause. Duh duh duuuuuuhhhhhh.))

[Catherine]

I would say I was surprised and caught off guard but nope.  I knew what was coming, tentacles and maybe wings. There was an explosion of tentacles, erupting from silhouette and making a beeline right for me. Suckers ready to suck and tips ready to poke & jab. I just stood there, not stunned like I said, just waiting and at the speed the tentacles were clocked at, it would be a moment or even less.

I wondered if Silhouette was wondering what I was going to do. Was I going to start spinning my staff of whapping and deflect his tentacles back at him, maybe even doing a baseball bat thing on the last one. Pointing out to left field and swing. CRACK! Silhouette goes back will he catch it? No it looks like he is going to eat it! The crowd goes wild [insert crowd cheering]. Was I going to bend and wiggle out of the way? Doing flips and spins and some other things? Maybe placing gold in the escape from the tentacles and maybe wings event. Well if it was up to that one judge I wouldn't even place. Was I just going to sit here and take it like a monkey girl? Yeah no. I have enough holes in my body for now. One second, let me double check the charts, okay yes, they say I do. That and I am not a weenie or marshmallow either, one hundred monkey girl here, no additives and no preservatives and one hundred percent natural.

So what then?

*ninja art of the false image because I am somewhere else technique*

The tentacles try to slice and the suckers try to sucker but.... You can't do either if what you are trying to do that to is not there and is only an image. Think tv without the screen and only comes in one channel and that would be yours truly. No you can't get another channel so don't ask. I can't believe you might have been thinking of asking that but didn't ask because you didn't think about it but might have. HUMPH! Unlike a tv, the image isn't flat but three dimensional without the use of glasses or bouncing your head against something. Oh oh remember that movie that happened in a galaxy sort of really far away? You know the one with the people who swung the fluorescent tubes around that never shattered. Remember how those one people sort of appeared after they got hit by a fluorescent tube? Sort of like ghosts, which was kind of scary and limited to like blues and whites. Like that but in one hundred percent color. So realistic that would swear you could touch the image and feel something, but if you tried you would just pass through and do the 'What the?' thing.

So the answer to what I was going to do is that. Tentacles slicing through the false image me. If I had practiced more, after my Master taught me the technique, I could have cheesed it up. The false image could have stumbled backwards, holding her tummy saying 'You got me!' Then stood straight up, stiff as a board, before falling backwards with little 'X' across its eyes and tongue out. It doesn't bounce when it hits the ground it just hits as either a flower appears in its hands or it goes POOF! Didn't practice though so all that happened was the false image sliced in two and like two pieces of paper floated to the ground.

Now usually the false image technique follows a ninja smoke bomb. You know WACHAA throw down POOF and disappear leaving the false image in the smoke to cough a little. It adds to the illusion really, it says I threw the smoke bomb down and when the smoke erupted out of it I got lost and decided it was best to stay where I was. People don't think and just send weapons, I remember there was that one time a guy tried a flying kick at one of my false images and well. He sort of forgot that there was a brick wall right behind me and well.... Flying anything and brick walls don't mix, something ends up on the floor rolling around on the floor yelling and screaming about a hurt leg. But this time, I forgot to pack any while I was back at the house, can't remember if there was any In the closet really. They are fun to play with, I could tell you a story or two that would have milk shooting out of your nose even though you haven't drank any in a couple days. There was this one time that took one and.... What am I doing? In the middle of a fight here so story time can wait. But yeah fun, so much fun. Especially if you... Okay doing it again in a middle of a fight. Focus little monkey girl focus.

The good thing with false images is that they are false and no images are hurt.  The second being is that they distract. The third is the technique can be used over and over without fear of wearing yourself out. Those techniques that wear you out suck, nothing like having to take a nap in the middle of something. Wachaaaazzzzzzzzzzz........

I appear just steps away from where the false image was, the only drawback to the false image really, it attracts the attention so it gets taken out real fast and you have to how yourself. In a blink of an eye the tentacles shoot towards me.

Dodge? Parry? Tooth massage? No on all of those and especially on the last one, don't have the time to gargle. I rinse and repeat.

*ninja art of the false image because I am somewhere else technique*

The tentacles find another false image to slice and dice. They thought they got me that time, I heard one of them snapping their fingers right afterwards.

I appear again and again the tentacles attack. But guess what false image again. Really I would have thought they would have learned by now. Again I appear a step or two away and guess what tentacles again but silhouette tossed in the wings to. Not sure why though, maybe it thought they would catch me by surprise. But nope, poke rend and slice goes the false image and I appear yet again just a step or two away. This continues over and over, me getting closer and closer to silhouette. It looked pretty cool I think, sort of like an effect caused by a strobe light as closed in and maybe that is why silhouette didn't put two and two together.

Last false image and up I went in a super atomic mega ultra nearly improbable monkey upper cut. This will ring silhouette's bell, I told myself as my fist flew upwards.  There might even be teeth flying with this one since I think I saw fire wiping off of my fist.

Three..... Two and one contact! Well I hoped there was going to be contact but if it was it was the softest contact that I have ever felt. What the?

I looked up and watched as my fist continued up and through Silhouette. Stupid can't hit but can hit thing, I growled as my fist carried me off the ground, with quick thinking I adjusted the trajectory of my first to prevent me from maybe hitting the moon, spinning around to almost punch the ground. Thankfully stopping my fist from actually hitting the ground. Others can hit the ground as much as they want, I prefer not to punch something that is as hard and possibly break my fingers, I like them unbroken.

I crouch there for a moment, with a mean look on my face as I stare at silhouette, before launching into storm of fists. Right jab. Left jab. Middle something or another. Left hemi punch. Left fake. Right downwards swipe followed by an upwards swipe. Even my tail even got into it by jabbing and throwing pokes. But nothing was connecting except to air.  Which is good if I was trying to hit that but I wasn't.

Maybe I can overwhelm silhouette, I told myself. Quickly I set my feet into position, if they are just a little off I will go shooting backwards. "Rain of a thousand bazillion punches," I yell, my fists blurring as I punch after another is made and sent. WACHAA on repeat.

My lungs begin to burn as punches flew, shoot I forgot to breath. I take a breath and continue to throw punches. One connect come on. Then my arms begin to scream, 'We are getting tired!' I shift a foot, breaking the stance and get propelled away a couple feet in an instant.

I sit there hunched over just a little taking deep breathes. My arms coming back into focus as the punching ceases. Huh....huh.....huh.... This might last a little longer than we both thought.

((Huh....Huh.... Well poo and now you have to wait until next time to see how it continues....))

[Catherine]

Okay, now what? I can play stay away from silhouette's tentacles and wings for a while longer until I need a banana shake recharge, which I doubt it will let me get. It can also  make itself not hittable, which makes it hard to hit. So we are at an impasse or something similar until one of us slips up and BAM! Unless the whole not hittable thing takes something out of Silhouette, it will be me getting BAMED! Which I have had my fill of at the moment.

So what now? Silhouette answers me with tentacles and just not from the front this time. I don't think, I just react, jumping straight up at just the right moment and I hear the wet smacking sound coming from the tentacles. What is that? Hidden in the smacking, is suckering sounds? Hopefully that is something I can use. Quickly I spin in the air, place a hand on the top of the tentacles and stand there. Feet and tail out for balance.

We locked eyes for a moment I think. Even this close it was kind of hard to say. I got the impression of there being eyes but just couldn't find them. There? No. How about there? No. What is that quote again, 'if you stare into the void, it will stare back at you .' So maybe silhouette is one big eyeball? Then I could poke it but that doesn't make sense, eyeballs don't have wings or tentacles. There wild no way it could use them, eyeballs don't have brains everyone knows that. So it would just sit there until someone poked it with a stick. I do have a staff, maybe I can just.... No. No. No. I am not going to do that since I remember the other quote, 'if you poke something, be prepared to be poked back with something bigger and sharp.'

Locking eyes, we made a connection that has no bounds. We could put our differences aside and go against what our parents said. We could be together, forbidden love and all. What? No, ick! Oh my monkey that is disgusting. Tongue out and brushing it with my hands disgusting. It is a nice it and all but there are other its and I don't want them thinking I stole it away from them. We will definitely not be pulling a Romeo and Juliet, if they won't allow us to be together I will drink this bottle with the skull and crossbones on it. Which isn't a tiny pirate bottle. That and the tentacles are well how should I say this? Maybe other it's find them attractive but I am not it so yeah no. Not so much on being attracted to tentacles, really not attracted to them if they are pulling me in to a giant maw either. Oh and I can't forget the bat wings with these little hands. *shiver* No walking along the lake holding those hands. No, nope and any other ways to say no!

But we did make a connection, just not of the romantic type thank monkey. It was more of I stared into a cold uncaring void and it starred into the warm and fuzzy. We both knew the next move was going to be the big one, that is if it landed of of course. If it didn't it would be really embarrassing. Mega ultra pie in the sky energy fluff punch BOOM and shot I missed, could you like gives me twenty four hours to recharge?

What to do? I can't hit silhouette and I doubt if I asked it wouldn't stop from doing that, even with puppy eyes. My eyes running all over Silhouette looking for something that give me a clue. Then something comes to me and I smile a little, if it worked it the movies it must work in real life. I will just have to rename it, that is all, if it works. If it doesn't, it won't matter what it is called.

I will have to be fast. I will have to be nimble. I will have to be brave. Throw in cute and adorable too. I will have to be all of those things to be successful at what is coming. I can do it. *thumbs up*


((Positive thinking near tentacles and bat wings with those tiny little hands. Listen to me all of you genetic manipulators out there. That is NOT a challenge. Bats would not look “cool” with tentacles! That would be ick if one flew by and decided to tentacle the top of your head to get a “bug” that was sitting there. Haven’t you heard of the phrase, “blind as a bat”? The world’s collection of baseball caps would disappear into the whenever bats hang out. You would just hear a “yoink” and your favorite ball cap would disappear into the night. Save a ball cap don’t tentacle bats.))