I decided to write a little story to go along with all this. Since I found it amusing. The soundtrack of life should tell a story with lyrics. The narration is just there to string you along.
Still, here's the TL;DR/song list for the impatient or otherwise uninterested!
T.I. - Act III (The Confrontation) (1:50)
Pink Floyd - Have a Cigar (5:35)
Big Wreck - Overemphasizing (8:00)
NoFX - Fun Things to Fuck (1:16)
Ice Cube - Gangsta Rap Made Me Do It (5:24)
Big Wreck - Mistake (5:09)
Chamillionaire - Middle Finger Up (3:53)
Flogging Molly - What's Left of the Flag (4:09)
T.I. - What Up, What's Haapnin' (5:04)
T.I. - Tell 'Em I Said That (4:58)
Wax - Music and Liquor (5:55)
Esthero - Superheroes (3:58)
Chamillionaire - Outro (3:11)
Total time: 58:36[Editor's Note: Upon rereading this the author in me realizes that my tenses are all over the place. It's rather sloppy. But then, it's 8:30 in the morning... lets just say I was awake when the sun rose yesterday too.]
The soundtrack for me and my life...
Well, I'll have to give you a little story for that.
This story features two main characters; a Gentleman and a Bastard. Heh, they're more than just monikers to make myself seem all mysterious. Fact of the matter is, in real life, the battle between Gentleman and Bastard
is fought on a daily basis. But the distinction between the two wasn't realized until much later.
As a boy, he got into many fights. So he learned to cool his temper, and as he grew, he learned to bottle it better. As a result, his patience evolved till he often felt like he understood mountains. However there was rarely a time to open the bottle. And so with its contents, its capacity also grew. Till it turned out that he was pretty chill all the time
Amidst every crowd of people, he was always there. And through these people, he learned many things. In fact, he continues to do so till this day. However, seeking himself even then, he decided he was going to build himself up as a man that would mirror all of his heroes. As that great man, he would succeed at life. Of course, a great man, needs a great woman.
Needless to say, he was a little naive
But he bounced back regardless. After all, that's what everyone else does, right? But then he started giving a listen to what else other people had to say. He listened, he observed, he experienced, and it was all of those things that helped him make up his own mind
. If the world was going to turn its back on him, he would turn his back on the world
Still... the system is all encompassing. The influences so subtle, so vast. If he was going to get through it, he would do it his own way. He created a name for himself, Defiance Black.
The man that nothing in life could wound, con, or catch.
Defiance Black looked the way the young man wanted to look and fucked the way the young man wanted to fuck. He was smart, capable, and free in all the ways the young man was not.
With this pseudo-Tyler Durden, he would survive.
Unfortunately, being a little less naive than before didn't stop him from making terrible mistakes
When he sat down and looked at the world in its entirety, he thought of the dreams he had dared to hope for and slowly build up towards. He reflected on how the world saw fit to knock his building blocks over at any point along the process of success.
Every captain is a king aboard his own ship. So he decided he was going to set sail. If there was no port of call that would suit his fancy, he would explore life on his own until he found one that did. He would do things his own way... again
However, there was no failing this time.
He would make sure of it by letting go of everything. He would miss the important people in his life, but it was the women he would miss the most. For, while knowing more than his fair share, he only kept to a very small few. But they too had to be let go
To plot this new course; to see himself through; and to have his own ship so that he could claim the title of Captain and be a king where ever he went; he gave himself a reminder...
We must mark this moment in time.
It was this moment in time, that the Bastard became it's own half that would not go unrecognized. No matter where, with a very Jack Sparrow sway to his step, a smile on his face, the Bastard greeted one and all the same
It wasn't all happiness and fun times. Not at all. There were still many things he had to deal with, many things he had to learn and many people he would find out weren't real at all
. His own experiences combined with his own observations until his faith in people diminished to nothing. It came to a point where the only company he was ever happy with was himself
And that's where he is right now.
Passing time between the superheroes
. Between them, because it was only when he stopped trying to aspire to greatness that he actually found peace. It was only once he stopped believing. It was only once he let go.
The Gentleman is still around. He socializes on E all the time. He's only really eclipsed by the Bastard every now and then. Okay, maybe a little more than every now and then.
Fact of the matter is, it's the Bastard who runs much of the show these days.
And while he drifts through life between the cracks of all the things he used to believe in, he plots his master stroke