I often find that you get heaps of quirky tangents to the adventure when you run with a new player. Especially a female player - they don't see everything as a shimmering pot of gold and XP.
Depends on what his CON is, I suppose. Beanpole - 20. Beefcake - expanded range, 18-20. Of course the beefcake guy is a lot harder to throw, so it balances out in the end.
Well, I'm thinking that given the fact that both weapons are the same 'type' - let's assume human, medium-size, blunt edges, flailing limps - I think the crit range would more closely resemble a natural weapon or fist. So, I'd say that it would crit on a Nat 20 only with the beanpole doing, say, d4; and the beefcake coming in at a d8. Plus STR and a Half for throwing with two hands, of course. Unless you have a particularly powerful 'thrower' who can wield one in each hand.
Actually, we had a game where a guy did that with 2x wolves once and scored a crit on the guy he was throwing them at. It was hilarious!
Perhaps, you could even have a chance of grappling your opponent on a successful attack - kinda like when you throw an angry, vicious cat in someone's face and and it scratches like mad.
I don't think we've ever actually done this (never had a suitable halfling), but if you had, say, a halfling barbarian...
Tsk tsk Thorne. EVERY Halfling makes a suitable improvised weapon. That's why Halflings were invented! And gnomes. And kobolds... what other use is there for them apart from picking pockets, doing silly magic tricks and being hacked down by aggressive party members!