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Author Topic: Etiquette  (Read 1045 times)

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Offline RozelTopic starter

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Etiquette
« on: December 13, 2011, 07:30:51 AM »
This is just kinda a general question on Etiquette.

I was reading a few threads the other day.. And came across a few where I found the writing, well.. excellent. I had thought to message the players involved, but didn't want to intrude, but still felt I wanted to tell them that I really enjoyed their story.

So tell me, would that be something that is or is not wanted from someone that is no way involved in the game?

I guess also, what is your opinion on something like that? Or is there a place that we could recommend stories we have read upon the Board? Because there are times that I come across something that is really really well written, and I don't want to be awkward. lol

Offline Beguile's Mistress

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Re: Etiquette
« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2011, 07:33:42 AM »
There is nothing wrong with sending a PM to a member complimenting them on their writing.  I've found a few stories that way myself.

However, some choose to not reply to those PMs and that must be accepted by the sender.

I don't mind receiving PMs like that.  They make me feel good.
« Last Edit: December 13, 2011, 07:34:49 AM by Beguile's Mistress »

Offline Caeli

Re: Etiquette
« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2011, 07:35:41 AM »
We don't have a specific place where you can recommend stories on the board, though you are always welcome to share that kind of thing among your friends. :)

However, insofar as PMing the writers of a roleplay that you enjoy, I have found that most people will generally welcome a complimentary PM. I know that when I receive those kinds of PMs, it always brightened my day! I'd say that it wouldn't hurt at all to send something short and simple to that effect.

Like BeMi said, not everyone will reply, but there's no harm to sending a PM to someone about their roleplay.

Offline jouzinka

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Re: Etiquette
« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2011, 07:37:50 AM »
I found that some people have mentioned in their O&Os how they feel about unsolicited messages regarding various things, including their games. It may not be the case of the writers in your case, but I think it could be worth to check those out. ;)

Otherwise I don't think a good old fanmail along the lines of "I read your story X and I really enjoyed the read" could hurt. :-)

Personally? If someone chooses to compliment my writing, be prepared to be glomped. ;D
« Last Edit: December 13, 2011, 07:38:51 AM by jouzinka »

Offline Martee

Re: Etiquette
« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2011, 09:55:56 AM »
It doesn't happen very often, but when I do get a PM from someone who happened to enjoy one of my RPs, gosh- it makes my whole week! I send out PMs to writers fairly regularly when I read something I enjoy... It's a good way to meet people and find new writing partners as well. I've gotten some curt replies to my messages, but never any angry or rude responses, by the way.

Regardless, I was brought up to always think twice before criticising and to never hold back a compliment, so... That's my perspective.

As far as sharing stories.... I've linked to a few in my Ons and Offs that I'm not involved with in any way. I just enjoyed them immensely, and thought it not only gave more insight into what appeals to me, it also highlights some very brillant writing.

Offline olive

Re: Etiquette
« Reply #5 on: December 13, 2011, 10:00:33 AM »
I send these types of PMs from time to time. I have never had anyone be less than appreciative of them. I never thought to check their ons/offs first though, to see if it was a no-no. I will in the future, however, thanks to Jouzi's warning above. 

Offline jouzinka

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Re: Etiquette
« Reply #6 on: December 13, 2011, 10:15:19 AM »
s Olive. Just 'cause. O8)

Offline NileGoddess

Re: Etiquette
« Reply #7 on: December 13, 2011, 01:16:12 PM »
There's nothing wrong when you get or give a compliment on a story or concept you are working on or reading, Rozel. "Hey, I really like your story, the plot is really unique," or "I really like your character, she's so sexy and evil," and "Just wanted to say thank you for writing such a good story". All of those are perfectly acceptable in my book, and I welcome those types of PM out of the blue. In fact, I love it, because I know there's at least one other person out there, other than myself and my partner(s) who are enjoying the idea. Whether people share my outlook is up to them, but I don't see the harm. At worst, they simply won't respond.

...however, when it turns to "Hey, I think your writing is so sexy, do you want to do this idea?" or "Hey, when you have free time, hit me up for a roleplay,", then, in my opinion, it's unacceptable. You're pushing your way into their space with little to no reason, and it's creating the illusion that the only reason why you want to play with them is because they are good, and that they have standards to live up to. Unless you have a structured idea that you wanted to run by them, then it's fine, but I've encountered some people who simply message me "Your writing is so hot, we have to do a roleplay. It doesn't matter what, just something, right now." People also try to use this to get their foot in the door, kind of like a pick up line, if you will.

Furthermore, players can't push boundaries inside a PM, or be too crude in their compliments. I've heard stories about people telling other people the things they are doing while reading their stories, and it's downright disgusting, not to mention inappropriate. Just keep it to simple compliments, and that way, no one gets hurt.

Offline Beguile's Mistress

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Re: Etiquette
« Reply #8 on: December 13, 2011, 01:27:51 PM »
Complimenting a writer and asking to be kept in mind when they are exploring ideas isn't out of line, in my opinion.  It's part of the process. 

Offline Oniya

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Re: Etiquette
« Reply #9 on: December 13, 2011, 01:29:39 PM »
I don't think I've ever heard of someone getting upset by a polite compliment.  I will say, in partial contradiction to an earlier post, that someone saying 'I really love your writing.  Maybe we could do a story together sometime?' is likely to get a positive reaction from me.  It may be 'Thank you, but my plate is full,' or 'Thank you, but our O/Os don't really have much in common,' but it would still be a friendly response instead of 'OMG, skeevy!' 

The key word is 'polite'.  Even though you're sending it in a PM, you'll probably get better reactions if you phrase it in a way that it could be said in public.

Offline NileGoddess

Re: Etiquette
« Reply #10 on: December 13, 2011, 01:36:33 PM »
I'm not saying it's bad to want to roleplay with someone based on a story they wrote, but instead of rushing right into and saying now, I'm saying give it some time and careful thought. If you don't have an idea in mind, think of one, then come back later and say based on how much you enjoyed their story. Don't just try to fill a gap because it's there.

Sorry, I guess I should have clarified the difference more. It's just that I often get the sense that some people think they are staking a claim with me when they say, "let me know when you are free to roleplay."

...who said I wanted to roleplay with you in the first place?

Offline RozelTopic starter

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Re: Etiquette
« Reply #11 on: December 13, 2011, 02:42:03 PM »
Some really good feedback here! Thanks everyone. I think it is great that we can have a venue for different views on it for sure, and completely the reason I also included it.

I can also see how it could be considered awkward if someone asked in the PM to do a story together, in the same breath as their compliment. I have had that experience and personally, I don't mind being asked to do a story with someone based on what they read that I wrote. I don't look at myself as being that great at writing, though I soo try, that I could get annoyed with anyone about that part of it. That said, I don't believe I would ever ask someone based off of their story.

I absolutely did not even think about checking O/O's to see if they would enjoy feedback. That is an awesome suggestion though and will keep that in mind when I get that urge (or confidence) to say.. You know what? You guys are writing a brilliant story. Enjoyable read, Thank you.

I think it is smart keeping it simple. Because that is the whole point of a compliment really. To say, I enjoyed the work that you are putting into that. (nothing more or less really should be needed, I would think.)

The linking to stories that I enjoy is also something that I had not thought of either. And I may seriously think on doing that, but I may ask for permission on it before doing so. I guess it is kinda like recomending a great book to others.. and does say a little about the person that enjoyed it.

At any rate, I do think it is acceptable to have looked at someone's ons and offs (maybe even having read a story, then finding the writers O/O's compatible) and shooting them a PM on that, but that, I feel is totally a different topic and really should be handled as the same. It's hard to take that first step in asking someone to RP with you.. Its the little kid wanting to play with the big kid on the playground type thing. So I have to respect that a little for their courage.

I guess the long and short of it was, I had come across 2 stories that were well written (and it doesn't really matter the context, or even really the kind of RP they were) because the stories were both well structured and captivated me immediately. The character chemistry (and pretty much the players) were well developed and flowed, which made for time well wasted in reading it. =)

« Last Edit: December 13, 2011, 02:46:02 PM by Rozel »

Offline Beguile's Mistress

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Re: Etiquette
« Reply #12 on: December 13, 2011, 02:45:43 PM »
You would be surprised (or maybe not) at how many stories I have bookmarked.  I also try to check out the first few posts of most stories when I can.  I'd proposition more writers if I knew I could give them the time they deserve.

Offline RozelTopic starter

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Re: Etiquette
« Reply #13 on: December 13, 2011, 02:48:21 PM »
LOL  I did bookmark the stories. Not because I wanted to stalk the writers, but because I want to find out how it ends, or what else is in store!   ^-^

Offline Izzie Aditi

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Re: Etiquette
« Reply #14 on: December 14, 2011, 08:51:49 AM »
I have both been on the sending and receiving end of those kind of PM's. Granted, more on the sending end ;-) I know how happy and fuzzy it makes me when I receive a message with kind words about my writing so I'll gladly share my compliments. As for compliments + asking to co-write a story, I'm personally fine with that as well. I've met some great writers that way and I don't at all see it as intruding in my personal bubble. If I'm not available for stories or don't think our styles mesh, I can just...tell them? I don't see the big problem *shrug*

Long story short, by all means share your compliments and positive thoughts with people. Share the love!

Offline consortium11

Re: Etiquette
« Reply #15 on: December 18, 2011, 05:13:56 PM »
I've both sent and received quite a few of these and I've never had a harsh response back. Everyone I've seen appreciates it... and most people accept that if you're playing via forum (as opposed to PM for example) then others can and will read it.

I actually get quite a kick when I see the views for some of my threads go up without my partner or I's involvement.

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Re: Etiquette
« Reply #16 on: December 19, 2011, 12:43:09 AM »
There was a time at the bottom of my first post I would put in small print something along the lines that if you are reading along  or enjoying the story to please PM me, I would love to hear it....