I have a similar story to this, so I know how you're feeling. *Offers hugs.*
My ex got me a cockatiel when I was about 15. I loved that bird. His name was Silver. He just loved to sit on my shoulder and cuddle with me. I could take him outside and he'd just sit there, eager as always. He liked to nibble on my food and just was fun and sweet.
I took him to a friend's house. He tried to fly to my ex's shoulder... and the friend's dog jumped up and ate him.
I screamed. It was horrible. I was a complete and total mess. :( But after a while I had to move on. And I got another birdie who was a total asshole, but I still loved him.
I hope that soon that day will come for you when you'll get another birdie to love as much as you loved your last one. Who'll have their own personality and you'll come to love and cherish them. <3