I saw this Vid and it's other two parts a few months ago, it rocked my reality. I had already been doubting my faith to an extent, this video pushed me off the edge of the airplane I had been hesitant to skydive out of for years. Floating aimlessly between wanting so hard to believe, and simple logic.
Honestly... I was depressed for a few days afterwards.
I was always told since I was little by my mommy that if I was a good girl, and was a good person and helped others that I would eventually be rewarded with eternal life in heaven with God and Jesus. (I wanted my own little golden cottage among the clouds)
I'm not sure exactly what truth there is in the video but it certainly opened my eyes (if somebody could tell me, or direct me to some hard facts I'd appreciate it) Honestly, I don't know what the truth is anymore at all.
It's definitely true that the Christ story bears a great deal of resemblance to other religious stories that came before it. In fact, if you take a look at the cultural climate of the Roman Empire at the time when Jesus supposedly lived, there were a lot of other new religions that had characteristics in common with Christianity. They're called "mystery religions" by Historians, and really shed some light on what sort of reality surrounded the formulation of Christianity. Knowing about this can certainly bring one to wonder about the validity of their religion, and it probably should if you're open to reason.
Having said that, I stopped the video at around 4 minutes in or so because that's where it starts to stretch its logic. The December 25th birth date was not mentioned in the bible, but was actually selected by the early church to overwrite the Pagan Celebration of the Winter Solstice. When the stories of the new testament were first written there was no connection between the Winter Solstice and the "there kings" or any of the constellations. Even if we were to accept that part of his logic, the connections are vague at best and could easily be considered coincidences.
What he claims could be right, but I think he's probably over-blowing Christianity's connection to astrology.
Now that I realize organized religion is a lie, what to believe? my whole support system that has been keeping me on my feet through hard times has ended up being a total lie?
Perhaps I can believe in a god... perhaps I can believe he had some sort of son... But I feel like everything that I've done in the name of my religion was for nothing, lies all lies.
I can't even wear my collection of beautiful crosses anymore, they make me feel like I'm false advertising.
You haven't learned that organized religion is a lie per se, simply learned something which puts a sizable dent in your view of the universe. Christianity could still be true, and although you don't feel that way (and I don't either), you shouldn't take what other people have to say on the matter as testimony. Do your own research. Empower yourself with information.
So take my grandfather for example, he's been such a faithful good and christian man all his life, when he dies will there be nothing for him? simply non-existance in exchange for a life of sacrifice and service to others?
Nobody knows what's coming in the next life or if there even is one. Anyone who tells you differently has far too much confidence in their own opinions and beliefs. There's a lot of different lessons you could take from this, and I'll get to that at the end of my post.
I don't even know how to tell my mother, she's such a bible thumper (My dad is atcually Buddist and he's pretty apathetic towards other religions, he wouldn't come to church with us and I always wondered why)
My mom baptised me before I had a say in what I wanted to believe, she forced me to go to confession (which I honestly found traumatizing), watched carefully as I passed all my sunday school classes so I can go though communion, and hid 'The Da Vinci Code' from me until I was old enough to move out (I'm a big reader, and my friend lent it to me one day and she forbid me to read it and confiscated it). Dosen't it seem a little unfair?
It is unfair, but you have to realize she didn't do it because she wanted to hurt you. My parents did similar things to me, but it was because they wanted to save my soul from eternal damnation. They weren't right, but their heart was in the right place.
What is she going to say when I don't baptise my children? Is she going to be okay with the fact that I want my kids to be old enough to make their own
choices about their beliefs before I start dipping them in magic water and feeding them mystical bread? dragging them to a congregation of people listening to a man preach about a book of fairy tales?
Whatever you do say, you need to be diplomatic about... I would personally stress wanting to let your children make their own choices because you believe it's important that they become who they are meant to be by their natural personalities and not who you want them to be.
Honestly, it's been a few months since I've seen the video, but I'm still feeling like the ground is pulled out underneath me. My mom is visitng me now and she's been dragging me to church and christian stores, making me wear my
crosses, having me reciting the rosary with her, reading the bible and praying together. I feel dirty when she forces me to do these things.
I think you should talk to her and explain to her that you're just not feeling it anymore. Don't tell her you believe that god does not exist, don't repudiate or insult her points of view, just be honest and say that you've lost your personal connection to god (which is the truth--she doesn't need to know that it's because you're no longer sure if that god exists). If she becomes sad, just explain to her that you're sorry, you don't feel the way you do to hurt her feelings, and it's just how you feel at the time. There's nothing that can change your inclinations and nothing that she says can affect your "intuitive" state to make you accept what she says. Remind her that life is long and you have quite a few years ahead of you in which you intend to think about the world and that you may some day come back into connection with god. Who knows, you might.
I feel like a liar :( But I simply don't have the heart to tell her that I no longer believe.
I don't know if she'd kill me
or pray for me.
Above all, it's important to be diplomatic, reasonable, and express your uncertainty (rather than disbelief).
This is what I think you should do:
1) Start off by reading a bit more about Christianity.
Wikipedia will do just fine. Read about the Council of Nicea, Constantine, the Crusades, and the Apocrypha. All you really need to do is scan a bit of historical information about them.
2) Learn a bit more about religious history.
Akhenaten was one of the first monotheists in recorded history, who also worshipped a sun god. Learn about errors in biblical history in relation to the Hebrews. Read a bit about Ancient Sumeria and the Mesopotamian City State of Ur in particular. The Epic of Gilgamesh has some interesting Noah Parables, and there's also some stories that explain the flood in historical context.
3) Learn about philosophy
There is still truth without god. I think existentialism would appeal to you and give you a source of hope despite your new revelations. I personally found Utilitarianism comforting. I always enjoy reading the works of Agnostics, and I even find the religious-philosophy of Deism incredibly attractive. Many of the United States' founding fathers were Deists, actually.
If you're anything like me, you'll find that the more you know, the more confident you'll feel about your beliefs. Being grounded in self-discovered fact will prevent you from experiencing a repetition of what you did with Christianity (adhering to that belief, then discovering it had some holes). Take this as an opportunity to explore the world around you and search for the truth now that you've cast off what you believe was never true to begin with.
Most importantly of all, try not to become bitter. It's easy to stop believing and become an antagonistic atheist, I think it happens to most people who lose their faith initially. However, most of us also eventually get over that bitterness and find our own version of secular-humanism that gives our life warmth, color, and meaning. This isn't the end of everything, it's the beginning of a new intellectual odyssey for you.
EDIT: Also, one of the first things you could do is check out Religulous and the Penn & Teller Bullshit episode on the Bible.Penn & Teller Bullshit - The Bible - Fact or Fiction Part 1
- I think you'd like this.