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Author Topic: Men pretending to be women online for RP purposes  (Read 446 times)

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Offline Zack SeamusTopic starter

Men pretending to be women online for RP purposes
« on: July 23, 2016, 04:37:20 PM »
So, I must confess, I have done it.
Sometimes it's hard to find a female RP partner, specially those with the same tastes as yours. So, I have created a female account. I use it to RP, and have a lot of fun with it, since it's all about writing for me. It's the same to RP as a male or a female character for me. I see it as writing a book. We are the writers and there are several characters, so it's a similar process.

Anyway, the problem is I don't say I am a male. I pretend to be a female. It's so easy to find RP partners when you pretend to be a female, I don't know why yet. I think male libido is higher than female's libido. It's also much easier to get what you want. I have got my hands on some really good materials, be them on Games or even Porn related material, just because they think I am a female.

But sometimes I feel bad for tricking those men into thinking I am a woman. Sometimes I worry they will develop a stronger affection towards my character and I dread they will fall in love, altho I don't give them any space for that, nor hope, nor anything. I make it clear that "I" lives in a country far, far away, and that nothing could ever happen between us.
But still, sometimes I feel a bit bad. I think I feel bad because I suffered a lot in platonic relationships in the past, and I don't want them to suffer the same. I did fall in love with Internet girls 2 times in the past, wich lived far from me, but I still don't even know if they were real girls. Apart from feeling pathetic about it, I don't want these guys to go through the same.

Has anyone gone through this? Any tips or advices on dealing with this matter?
Thanks in advance,

Offline TotesRider

Re: Men pretending to be women online for RP purposes
« Reply #1 on: July 23, 2016, 04:47:06 PM »
Ive done it before. Certain topics and themes are way easier to get bjtes if you present it with yourself playing the female role.  For example... i like Harems and Older women. Do you know how fucking hard it is to find someone to play either of those?

I think the best way is to mention that "Yes i am male but i like to play a female from time to time". Honesty is the best policy. Usually in Roleplays no one gives a flying fuck who you really are and care more about what you play. Granted there are a few folks who care. For example ive seen certain female RPers who orefer to RP with other females and the same with male RPers but they usually let you know pretty well.

Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Men pretending to be women online for RP purposes
« Reply #2 on: July 23, 2016, 04:53:30 PM »
I haven't gone through this. A little piece of advice, be honest with those around you. Honesty is the best policy. There are males who don't care about the gender of their role-playing partner and then there are those that do. If your male partner, finds out that their supposedly female partner is really a male on the other side, two things could happen. The rp continues as normal because you've explained yourself and they understand you, etc. or they will end the rp, due to perhaps feeling uncomfortable, the fact that they have been lied to or both. I would just be you and not pretend to be someone that you're not. I would stop it of I were you, before it goes out of hand.

Offline Mathim

Re: Men pretending to be women online for RP purposes
« Reply #3 on: July 23, 2016, 06:34:17 PM »
I honestly don't care what's between the legs of a writing partner most of the time but I'd prefer to know up front, usually because that lets me know to be a little more analytical in reading what you write because I want a partner who can write convincingly from a perspective that I as a male all my life have not been privy to. Not a lot can but I've met a few. But being dishonest about it would just make me question why someone would feel the need to hide it in general.

Offline Zack SeamusTopic starter

Re: Men pretending to be women online for RP purposes
« Reply #4 on: July 23, 2016, 07:12:51 PM »
or they will end the rp, due to perhaps feeling uncomfortable, the fact that they have been lied to or both. I would just be you and not pretend to be someone that you're not. I would stop it of I were you, before it goes out of hand.

They will end the RP anyway if I tell them I am a male. I am pretty sure of it.
And it won't go out of hand, since I've been doing this for 6 years, lol.

Offline Marri

Re: Men pretending to be women online for RP purposes
« Reply #5 on: July 24, 2016, 12:38:19 AM »
There's nothing wrong with being a man who roleplays women, or being a woman who roleplays a man. The bad thing here is lying about who you are in order to bypass people's preferences and what they're comfortable with. It shows a clear disregard for your partner. What you want shouldn't come before your partner's feelings; and I get the feeling that people would react stronger about this sort of behavior if a man was pretending to be a woman in order to pursue strictly lesbian roleplayers.

Of course, opinions, etc etc.

Offline Nicholas

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Re: Men pretending to be women online for RP purposes
« Reply #6 on: July 24, 2016, 12:49:55 AM »
I can't even comprehend why people would lie about their gender online, but that's just me. I know that it happens a lot but again, I don't get it. I can only agree to what has been said already - honesty goes a long way and it shows respect for your writing partners. I totally respect someone not wanting to disclose their gender, but lying about it is immature, respectless and pretty rude. It's real people behind a screenname, after all. Personally, I couldn't care less about my writing partners gender because that's just not relevant for me. Neither for our story, nor for out-of-character interactions. Friends are friends. :-)
« Last Edit: July 24, 2016, 01:32:30 AM by Nicholas »

Offline RedRose

Re: Men pretending to be women online for RP purposes
« Reply #7 on: July 24, 2016, 03:21:42 PM »
I wouldn't want to be lied to if it was important to me. Still, it's a risk when you're online. I personally will RP with or befriend males, females, or people who won't tell what they are.

Offline SmokingCamels

Re: Men pretending to be women online for RP purposes
« Reply #8 on: September 29, 2016, 05:46:49 PM »
My assessment is that I agree with Nich.

I'm a dude.  I'll take it one step farther than that even.  I don't lie about anything online.  Why?  Because why lie about it?  I have this general idea  that people online aren't telling the truth until they give you a reason to believe they are... so, you take everyone at face value.  This in turn gives me the ability to basically hide in plain sight.  6'2" 275lbs biker guy with blue eyes that turn green and a few grey spots.  My pictures all verify that.  My online personality doesn't change from my real life personality.   If you think I'm obnoxious, then you would think I'm obnoxious face to face.  If you dig me, then you'd dig me face to face.  I guess it has more to do with self-confidence and attitude or something.  I dunno.

I do play female characters.  I prefer to do it online because it's not quite as weird as a table top setting.  But I've been doing it for so long that it honestly doesn't matter to me.  I host and am the storyteller for a variety of games and one of my points as a GM is having different NPCs with a variety of ethnic, racial, gender, class, etc etc abilities.  I have to be able to flip through them all and use them on a drop of a dime.  So, meh.  It's just a matter of writing or finding a voice to me. 

Do I pretend to be a female to seek out male companionship / writing partners / etc?  Nope.  Do I get a kick (or kink) out of tricking someone into thinking I'm something I'm not?  Nope.  Do I have a guilty conscious if somebody makes their own assumptions and believes something that isn't true?  Again.  Nope.  That's their own fault for assuming.  But do I go out of my way to let somebody make their assumptions?  Nope.  I don't do that either.  Sooo.... to be honest, I don't get it.

Offline Rhedyn

Re: Men pretending to be women online for RP purposes
« Reply #9 on: October 01, 2016, 11:15:01 AM »
If you feel bad about it then I think that's a pretty sure indication that you are doing something wrong. I, like many others, have no preference for who I write with as far as gender is concerned. I would prefer someone tell me that they didn't want to or didn't feel comfortable telling me their real life gender than lie to me and make me think they are something that they are not. I would feel used to discover that something like that had happened to me and that they had used deception to get something from me that I may have otherwise refused.

And it won't go out of hand, since I've been doing this for 6 years, lol.


I would be inclined to say that after six years it already is out of hand.

As others have already said being honest with other people shows that you respect them and their decisions as to whether or not they want to write with you.

Offline DahliaBlossom

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Re: Men pretending to be women online for RP purposes
« Reply #10 on: October 02, 2016, 09:49:58 PM »
I'm sorry you've gone through this. I actually avoid playing with females as they tend to be a submissive like myself. I've only been lucky a hand full of times in finding a female that was the opposite to me and matched me perfectly. Actually, I struggle finding ANYONE who I mesh well with.

I find it's just easier to be up front and honest about who you are, what you want, and what you're looking for. It cuts through all the crap and makes stuff simple. If a guy doesn't want to rp with you because you're a guy, that's his deal/issue. You can find someone else.