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Author Topic: I can't sir, it's liquid.  (Read 2421 times)

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Offline JarsofPicklesTopic starter

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I can't sir, it's liquid.
« on: January 29, 2014, 02:44:27 PM »
In this game, you are the last poster's butler. They will ask you to do something impossible, and you have to explain how you did it even though it should be impossible.

So for the example, one person says "Cut my milk!" Instead of saying the title, I would then go on to explain that I simply froze the milk in order to cut it.

Butler! Fetch me the Headless Horseman's head!

Offline Blythe

Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2014, 06:53:11 PM »
I grew a pumpkin, carved it into the shape of a jack o' lantern, and gave it as a gift to the Headless Horseman! When he wore it to compensate for his headlessness, I then stole it back from him and brought it to you!


Butler, find me a unicorn!

Offline Blythe

Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2014, 06:55:10 PM »
I grew a pumpkin, carved it into a jack o' lantern, and gave it as a gift to the Headless Horseman! When he wore it to compensate for his headlessness, I then stole it back from him and brought it to you!


Butler, find me a unicorn!

Offline JarsofPicklesTopic starter

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Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #3 on: January 29, 2014, 08:47:47 PM »
I found a breed of horse with facial protrusions that could, with selective breeding, become unicorns, and bred them.

Butler, bring me vegetarian-friendly meat!

Offline Tyrhung

Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2014, 08:17:32 PM »
I raised a calf from birth and led him every day through the streets, so that all the children could come out and play with him.  As he grew, I told the children that unless they ate nothing but vegetables, some day their favorite calf would have to die in order to feed them.  The children grew, and so did the calf, and the children became adults, and the calf became a cow.  They all bonded with the cow, who would come trotting up to them whenever they called, playing with them even through their adulthood.  Satisfied that the cow was friendly with vegetarians, I slaughtered it there on the spot and brought you its meat.  I trust this satisfies your request?    O:)

Butler!  I need you to stop time immediately!

Offline JarsofPicklesTopic starter

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Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2014, 08:32:58 PM »
I removed the batteries from your watch and clocks, sir, as requested.

Butler, bring me the horizon.

Offline Ryo242

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Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #6 on: January 30, 2014, 08:35:04 PM »
I removed the batteries from your watch and clocks, sir, as requested.

Butler, bring me the horizon.


-Snaps fingers and a maid presents a picture of a setting sun along a flat plain- 

"Now I must request the soul of a ginger female, if you would be so kind, my good man."

Offline Tyrhung

Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #7 on: January 30, 2014, 08:42:40 PM »
I put these gumdrops on the gingerbread man's chest and coated her in ghostly white frosting for you!

Butler!  Set the lake on fire!

Offline Ryo242

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Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #8 on: January 30, 2014, 08:47:53 PM »
I don't quite see the merit of burning an entire team of Los Angeles basketball players has... But it's been done.  -Gets off the phone and closes it while screams can be heard on the other side-  Oh and Miss Lake was visiting as well.  Fortunate... -Cue Evil laughter-

I would like you to arrange a flight to Neverland for Monday, Feb. 30th..

Offline JarsofPicklesTopic starter

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Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #9 on: January 30, 2014, 08:54:52 PM »
One trip to the late Micheal Jackson's ranch has been arranged as requested, sir. By the way, Ryo, I am so sending you a friend request when I'm a full member. :D

Butler, fetch me my invisible car without directions.

Offline Ryo242

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Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #10 on: January 30, 2014, 09:08:14 PM »
Priscilla.  Activate "X-Ray Vision" mode.  Locate Miss JarofPickles "invisible" car.  -Maid nods and goes off in search.  After five minutes, GPS coordinates are sent-  Excuse me a second.

-Disappears for 3 minutes before an invisible car comes crashing through the nearest wall, causing debris and an unfortunate patron standing near the wall to be scattered everywhere-

Can't.. -cough, stumble out of wreckage-  drive stick...

-After being tidied up-  I would like to request a return trip to Micheal Jackson's ranch.. Oh and his ressurection for the trip would be nice.

Offline JarsofPicklesTopic starter

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Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #11 on: January 30, 2014, 09:13:39 PM »
I simply sent you back in time, before his death, and arranged for you to have dinner there. Hope you enjoyed it, you had to wait to get back to this moment in time. (You got it wrong, by the way! JarSofPickles. :) )

Butler, bring me the sun in the form of an edible cake.

Offline Tyrhung

Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #12 on: January 30, 2014, 10:05:26 PM »
I have brought you this host wafer, from the Cathedral down the street.  The priest there tells me it's the Son in cake form.

Butler!  Cry me a river, and swim to me in it.

Offline JarsofPicklesTopic starter

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Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #13 on: January 31, 2014, 08:31:18 AM »
I cried into a newly formed river channel as the dam was being removed, and you fell in. To prevent you from drowning, I swam to your aid.

Butler! I require that you feed me without moving. Preferably pizza.

Offline Tyrhung

Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #14 on: January 31, 2014, 11:31:54 PM »
As per your request, I have ordered the moving vans to come to the house tomorrow instead.  Given the small matter that you would not wear a bib whilst I fed you the pizza you desired, I have likewise taken the liberty of asking the maid to bring you clean linens.

Butler!  Stop the interstate highway bridge from freezing over in this winter storm!

Offline JarsofPicklesTopic starter

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Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #15 on: February 01, 2014, 12:16:35 PM »
I moved it to Jamaica, it is now safe.

Butler! Bring me a pickle that was never a cucumber.

Offline Tyrhung

Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #16 on: February 01, 2014, 12:22:39 PM »
(lol  :-) )

Here you are, one thoroughly pickled banana pepper.  Shall I fetch you the rest of the jar as well?

Butler!  Polish my old canvas tennis shoes to a shine I can see my reflection in as clearly as a mirror!

Offline CrypticSayings

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Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #17 on: February 17, 2014, 01:21:58 AM »
I have dipped your canvas shoes into silver and polished them to a high shine for you sir. Shall I do the same for your Tennis shoes?

Butler fetch me a pig that tastes of strawberries!

Offline Fabjuth

Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #18 on: February 18, 2014, 12:14:49 AM »
I have retrieved the pig that was sampling strawberries in the garden out back.

Butler, please fetch me a year!

Offline CrypticSayings

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Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #19 on: February 18, 2014, 12:17:44 AM »
Sir, it took me a while but I finally found you the perfect calender!

Butler please fetch me a clock that doesn't tell time!

Offline Daoine Sidhe

Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #20 on: February 19, 2014, 02:26:21 AM »
M'lady, as requested, I have painted over the numbers on the clock so that they blend perfectly with the background of the clock face.  I also rotated the clock by an unknown number of degrees, so that what used to be the "12" is no longer upright.

Butler!  I left my time machine running, and now it's jumping randomly from time to time.  I need you to turn it off and bring it back to right now.

Offline rouwdy

Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #21 on: February 19, 2014, 03:18:16 AM »
Ma'am here it is. Its me just 48 years older. Its just I had to wait 48 years before your time machine showed up so I unpluged it and copied it but bigger to fit it in and bring it back.

Butler I left the window open and the wind blew in. See it out for me will you.

Offline Fabjuth

Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #22 on: February 19, 2014, 07:29:54 AM »
Courtesy of some fans strapped to the back of some sheepdogs, the wind has been herded back outside.

Butler! Please fetch me a jar of light!

Offline Vill

Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #23 on: February 19, 2014, 02:09:41 PM »
Yes, sir. --Returns with a jar of light peanut butter, light mayonnaise, and light whipped cream.-- These are all the lights we have in the mansion, sir.

Butler! I demand the gravity be turned down in the study: it is absolute murder on my joints.

Offline Ms Gavane

Re: I can't sir, it's liquid.
« Reply #24 on: February 19, 2014, 02:18:26 PM »
It did take some time sir, but the study is now completely under water.

Butler, if you would kindly fetch me the moon. Quickly, of course.