Coming Back To Life

[BlackNight897]

Wonder Woman you truly are, Wolven.  If ever there was a story behind the ink. Such an inspirational story! 

[Beguile's Mistress]

The most comfortable footwear I ever owned was a pair of slippers with memory foam insoles.  They were heaven.  Now I have memory foam to put in all my shoes.

[wolventears]

Okay, so first week of school is over. I get off at 1 didn't leave till 5. Oi.

But it's over and next week should run smoother. Ooh and its a four day weekend!!! I love that I'm back to work, but I really need this four days to recoup.

So, got a bachelorette party tomorrow and other than that it's a whole bunch of sitting on my ass. Aaah yeeeaaahh!!!

[Beguile's Mistress]

*envies the butt*  You're smart to take it easy in your free time.  Continued good wishes to you.

[Oreo]

Time for some toe wiggling without shoes. Have a relaxing weekend Wonder Woman!!

[wolventears]

So I was reading back on this and just want to say thank you to all those who have given me such positive responses. It's good yo know that my journey in this has touched so many people and I'd like to prove that if coming back whole and healthy from the edges is possible, anything is.

So thanks again everyone. Your happy posts have helped push me and want me to push harder so I can tell you of more badassery. If that's not a word, I just made it so and if it is, I owe the creator a hell yeah high five!

[wolventears]

Alright, so it's September 15. It's been a year and ten days since I've been home from the hospital. If you ask my original doctors, I should still be in a hospital bed in my coma.

BUT, I am at home.
Awake.
No sign of my brain injury.
Walking.
Driving a 2014 BMW. Thanks, baby.
And, working full time.

Boom.

So, all I have to say to those doctors who told my husband and mother to just give up on me, shove it up your ass! 

I am ecstatic to be alive. And, to boot, I saw the podiatrist last Monday. The same podiatrist who said the only way I'd be able to walk again is if I did the tendon lengthening surgery. Psht.

Well, I drove myself to the doctor, walked in there, in my work uniform that states that I am an employee for the school district. He came into the room just in awe. He moved my feet and said that my feet looked phenomenal compared to last time and the movement I have in my ankles is amazing. The last time I saw him, he couldn't even get them to move a centimeter.

He said that if I want, the surgery is still an option, but not a definite need. I just need to continue stretching and seeing my medical masseuse, and even if my left foot doesn't go all the way down like my right, which it only has like 1/4 of an inch to go now, I can get away with wearing wedges. Which, I totally found some Dr. Scholl's work shoes, slightly wedged and comfy as hell.

He also said that my feet hurt for now. They just need to get used to carrying my weight again. Which since I started working 3 weeks ago, I've dropped 7 pounds. Go figure, if I'm not sitting on my ass all day, I work it off.

But still got a ways to go in losing the weight I gained since coming home. But, now that I am busy again, it'll come off. I'm already eating healthy and drinking lots of water. And I am able to ride the exercise bike without my knee killing me. It's good cardio and physical therapy. Just gotta keep working it.

I've already came this far, what a little more? I got this. Besides, I got a wedding to go to in November. Gotta get super cute for it. 

[wolventears]

First color session.

[wolventears]

Ya know, I'm feeling kind of down on myself. Working again, this fucking brain injury has made my job slightly hard and then when people look at me like I should know, it gets aggravating. And since I lost my school because I was out for  so long on medical leave, I'm at another school where the manager before me kind of messed things up.

So, on top of my shit, I'm trying to clean up her messes. But damn, I just feel so damn stupid. I should know these things and it's killing me.

But, deep breath. Rant over. Tomorrow, I'm going to work with my head held high and I'm going to do this. Like a boss. I was once great at this job, I can be again.

Just have to remember to breath.

[Beguile's Mistress]

Seven years ago, give or take, I was in a coma with three separate fractures in my skull and brain injury that was supposed to make a full recovery iffy at best.  There was a laundry list of other issues:  lost organs, broken bones, facial lacerations and cosmetic damage as well.  I have some scars and walk with a limp among other things but one of the worst for me is some short term memory loss.  It's aggravating and frustrating but I have a responsible job running a department of 350+ people.  My tablet at work and Post-it Notes have become my best friends and I've learned to cope.  I think you have made an amazing recovery and find work arounds for memory issues should be fairly easy for your.

[wolventears]

So, I've been seeing the things my friends are posting on Facebook about what they are thankful for and it's gotten me to thinking. Mainly, hell, just being alive, for one. Life is too damn short. Why hold back when you want something? Go out and get it.

So, one of my biggest issues right now, that my husband and I have come to notice, is that I over think, way to damn much. I find ways to talk myself out of things. Well, that stops now. I want it, I'll start what needs to be started to getting it. If it works out, swell, if not, you win some, you lose some. That's life. If I was meant to have it, I'll have it. If not, something else will come along. Forces beyond me obviously didn't want me to die when I should have easily, so who am I to say that those things aren't at play in something as simple as this?

But now, on to other things to get you updated. That school I was at that was incredibly screwed, I am no longer at. I was put into a kitchen that might be mine when it opens and I am actually liking it. The staff is amazing, both my kitchen and the administration, the kids are great. Now the question is if I just want a kitchen that far away. Like a 40 minute drive from me. Oi. But it will be mine and that kind of weighs out the cons here.

[Beguile's Mistress]

You have your choices to make and like you said if you want something go after it.  Don't ask the question and the answer will always be no.  Don't go after what you want and you'll never get it.

I didn't die either and now I can choose to do or do without.  So I choose to do and move on to the next thing if it doesn't work out. 

So, go for it.  You can always look for something else if it doesn't work once you have it.

[wolventears]

Like I said, I really got to get out of my damn head. I'm thinking to much on things now. Like the whole walking thing, I really didn't want to fall so I was psyching myself out and lo and behold, when I stopped thinking, I got up and did it. Like a pro. And yeah, if it's meant to happen, it will. If not, oh well. Just move on, head held high and go after the next thing. I got this.

[wolventears]

And forgot to share but here is the final piece. Wonder Woman!

[BlackNight897]

Amazing, its everthing at once; a celebration, motivational, and inspirational.....and above all else, a work of art.

[wolventears]

Alright. Already, it's nearing Christmas. The year has flown by so damn fast. But, I have to say, that I am pretty damn happy with how I far I have made it.

I'm working. I'm walking for the Goddess's sake. I'm driving. I'm doing all the things that my family were told I was never going to be able to do again.

I may wake up from my coma, but I'd be slow. Unable to think for myself, do anything for myself. Yet, here I am. Being all badass and shit. And I don't say that because I think too highly of myself, but because I have quite literally made it to hell and back. And if I can do this, making a would be fucked up life as close to good and normal as I can get it again, and that is pretty damn close, I can do anything.

[Oreo]

*dances around waving Christmas Glittery PomPoms* You go girl. You are amazing.

[wolventears]

So, it's 2015, a year that I am actually able to participate in, be a part of. And you know, I'm feeling pretty damn good about it.

I'm walking. I'm working. I'm down 28 of the lbs I gained from leaving the hospital. I look pretty damn good.

I have wonderful friends that have never left my side and the most wonderful husband a woman could ask for, loving me and kissing me everyday. I found out both my sister-in-laws are pregnant and I get to see that and be an aunt all over again.

Sure, I've had my issues getting my life back, but all in all, I am happy to be here. Just to be able to experience these things, knowing that I looked life in the face when she hit me with all she had and replied with a smile, you hit like a bitch.

So, here's to 2015. Making life that much better for me and everyone around me. And that includes the wonderful writers her on E. This blog, reading your responses, that means a whole hell of a lot and I can't thank you guys enough.

It's a damn good life I have right now and it will only get better. 

[TheMusician]

You are truly incredible. I hope that I can be as strong as you are, should life ever try to drop-kick me.  Cheers to 2015, wolventears!

[wolventears]

I was talking to a friend today who I don't see all that often, but we text often. I saw him for superbowl last weekend, so, as the man is brutally honest, I asked him, do I seem different then the last time you had seen me?

I specified a little. Like, is my walking better? Do I look like I have lost some of that damn after hospital weight because I sure as hell don't feel like I have?

He said yes. My hips seemed more aligned, so my stance isn't off anymore. I no longer walk with a limp. And I do look like I have lost quite a bit of weight. He said that you can't even tell that I nearly died just by looking at me. I'm as beautiful as ever. Adorable and fun Ali.

Only one other person has said that to me and he said it when I was still in the hospital before giving me the biggest and most loving kiss I have ever experienced.

It makes me realize that I am always thinking negatively about myself now. Like I'm broken.

Sure, some things are a little harder than they had been, and it took me some time to get into some other things again, but I gotta stop this negativity. It isn't helping, only holding me back from being more of a badass than I already am.

I've already done so much, now to go the rest of the way.

So, all in all, I have to thank the people in my life who remind me how great I am. I love you all.

[Oreo]

You are great!! Maybe we need a name change to WolvenCheers!!

[wolventears]

So, I was looking at myself the other day. I have dropped over 30 lbs since August and then there is this.

December 8, 2014


and today


How far I have come. 

Oh, and to make things even better, I got my own school kitchen again! Whooo!

And reading back on this, like from the very beginning, I see the grammatical errors and typos. Now you can say, "Brain injury? You suffered a brain injury? I couldn't tell." That makes me feel so damn good. 

[Oniya]

Very appropriate shoes. 

[wolventears]

Spring Break is already here. Goodness, already the year has flown by.

School only has about ten weeks left until summer break. 7 1/2 weeks until the 2 year anniversary of my accident. And 15 1/2 until my rebirthday of when I fully woke up from my coma. It's fucking nuts how far I have come, how far any and all this has come.

Still not quite 100% though. Still have a bit to go, but, thank to me masseuse, I can cross my legs indian style again! Whoo! That is one hell of an achievement considering I wasn't even close a year ago. Or hell, six months ago. But yay. Now just to lose the rest of this weight.

[Oreo]

Keep it up Wolventears. I know you will achieve all your goals.